23. Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
Aspen
“ J ust stop, girl. Get some self-respect,” I groan, stuffing popcorn into my mouth. I’m binging The Bachelor, and it’s like watching a train wreck. A month ago, my jaw would have hung open at the lengths some women would go to, to get the man. Not anymore. If Hadley wasn’t so set on Ryan, I’d recommend her for the show. She’s the perfect chameleon, changing her colors to suit her environment.
I have the rare night off, and I’m thankful for it because I’m so damn tired, and I need the rest. It feels like the calluses developing on my feet are growing their own calluses. I’ll have to see if I can find more comfortable boots.
I’m thankful, but I’m also slightly peeved. Since I’m the newbie, I’m last in line when it comes to picking shifts. And everyone loves the evening shifts on a Saturday.
“What are we watching?”
Carter, fresh from the shower, drops onto the couch next to me, rolling his shoulders with a sigh.
His parents own a ski resort and they wanted him to help run it, but his passion is the ocean. So when he turned twenty-one, they bought him a catamaran. He started a boat charter company and hasn’t looked back since. He now owns two catamarans with two crews working for him, offering anything from coastal cruises to island visits to private sunset champagne cruises.
I’ve got to hand it to him. He might be from money, but he’s one of the hardest workers I know. I think it’s because he truly loves what he does. He told me the ocean is his happy place. Where he can forget about everything, and just be.
“I feel I need to apologize,” I say, ignoring his question because really? It’s obvious what I’m watching.
“For what?”
“I feel I’m not cooking enough.”
“You cook plenty. I wasn’t expecting a home-cooked meal every night.” He frowns. “Sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“You didn’t. I just feel like I should be doing more. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”
“You’re not,” he reprimands. “You’re doing what you need to do to get back on your feet.”
Silence falls between us, and I steal a glance at him out of the corner of my eye.
“So, Alice?”
“What about Alice?”
“She said you two have never…”
He sniggers. “Bumped uglies? Done the horizontal tango? The crazy monkey dance?”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I scoff, throwing a piece of popcorn at him, which he catches and throws into his mouth.
“To answer your question, no, we haven’t.”
“She mentioned you helped her out of a tight spot once.”
“She got screwed over and needed help, so I gave it.” He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, and maybe to him, it isn’t. But for people in need of help, it means the world.
“Why does Rose hate you so much?”
He ponders my question for a few seconds before sighing. “Seriously? I have no idea. One day we’re cool, and then the next day, bam,” he says, miming an explosion with his hands, “she went nuclear on me. Has she said anything to you?” His question is casual, but his eyes give him away when he pins them on me. Huh.
“No.” Despite my asking her a few times. “You like giving her shit.”
Put them in the same room and they’re always having a go at each other. Granted, it’s usually Rose who starts it, but Carter gives as good as he gets.
He grins. “I like it when she’s all sassy and spicy.”
Silence falls between us again, and I’m watching a woman gushing over a rose when Carter nudges me.
“You know, if we’re playing twenty questions, I also get to ask some.”
“Okay?”
“Do you still love Ryan?”
I level him with a bland stare. “Of course I do, but if the next words out of your mouth are how I should take him back because everyone makes mistakes, I’m going to shove a handful of popcorn in it.”
“Wouldn’t dream,” he mutters.
“So why ask?”
“Because I’m curious to see how this plays out.”
“With Hadley and Ryan riding off into the sunset, while I rescue every single animal out there that needs rescuing,” I say firmly.
Frosty’s is packed. Not the way I saw myself spending my night off, but Carter lay the guilt on thick.
You know Nathan counts on us to be there when a new band is playing.
Don’t do Nathan dirty just because Ryan did you dirty.
I sighed and got up to change, just to shut him up.
“You have the night off?” I say, pleasantly surprised when I slide into the booth next to Maya.
“The schedule got ‘mixed up’ again,” she mutters.
“She’s such a bitch,” Piper says, and I don’t need to ask who she’s referring to. It’s becoming increasingly clear that Cassie, Nathan’s girlfriend, seems to have some kind of grudge against Maya. “Once might be a mistake, but this is becoming a habit.”
“We could get Bailey to talk to him. He listens to her,” Rose suggests, and as if saying her name summoned her, she appears, Kallan in tow. It still feels strange seeing Kallan and not Quinn, but I’m happy for her. And I adore Kallan. He might be a bit grumpy and broody, but somehow, he managed to change the devastation on her face to unfettered joy, and for that, I will always treasure him. He treats her like a queen, and if I was a jealous person, I would burn with it.
“You need to kick Nathan’s ass,” Rose says after our chorus of hellos.
“Why? What has he done?” Bailey asks, dropping a kiss on Kallan’s cheek and snuggling into his side.
“It’s what he’s not doing. He’s sitting back and allowing Cassie to mess with Maya.”
“I can speak for myself, Rose,” Maya chides with a grimace.
“Why is she in charge of scheduling shifts, anyway? She doesn’t work here.”
“She said she wanted to help him out. Be the supportive girlfriend.”
“Translated to worm her way into every aspect of his life,” Piper mutters.
“What is she getting up to?” Bailey asks Maya, her face painted in concern.
“Look, it doesn’t matter. He’s serious about her and I don’t want to cause issues. If it gets bad, I’ll just find another job.”
We fall silent because it just doesn’t seem right. Maya’s been working here since she turned eighteen. She’s almost an institution at this stage.
I look around, trying to see Carter. He stopped off at the bar to get us some drinks and my heart drops when I spot him and…Ryan, heading to our booth.
The last time I saw him, I basically called him a piece of shit. I was just so furious. I don’t have money to spend on the rescue at the moment, but there are things I can do that cost nothing. Like pulling weeds. Then to see and know that he was there, in my happy place, that he had money to spend when I didn’t. I don’t know, I just saw red.
I shouldn’t be surprised that he’s here. They’re his friends too. Shifting in my seat, I drop my eyes to the table. I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want him looking at me.
“Hello, Aspen,” he says softly, and I close my eyes against the longing in his voice. It resonates with the longing that’s taken up residence in my heart. But it doesn’t matter. With time, that longing will fade. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“Ryan,” I mumble, trying to keep my voice polite.
I don’t know how to act. To be. When the hurt is still so fresh.
“So, a new band tonight?” Carter says, putting my drink down. I immediately grab it, sucking on the straw. It gives me something to do. With my hands, my eyes, my mouth. Maybe my brain too, if I have enough of them. Promises to myself be damned.
“Obviously,” Rose mutters, her tone implying he’s a dumbass.
Carter’s eyes light up, his mouth jumping into a smile.
“The last band was a bust, so let’s hope this one is better,” Piper says, trying to head off the inevitable argument. “Maya?”
Maya shrugs, her lips flattening. I want to kick Nathan’s ass, but by the look on Bailey’s face, I’ll have to stand in line. Interviewing bands together has always been Maya and Nathan’s special thing, and though she doesn’t show it, I know being shoved to the side hurts her.
I glance up, finding Ryan’s eyes on me. I don’t think he’s stopped looking since he got here. Shifting uncomfortably, I bump against Carter. There are so many of us here tonight that we’re stuffed like sardines in a can.
“Oh hell, no,” Rose says, slamming her drink down and sitting up straight.
My eyes shoot in the direction of her glare. What the hell? I thought she was gone, but it seems that she wasn’t lying when she said she was moving back. Did Ryan know? Was all his words to me just that—empty words? Did he invite her tonight? That would be beyond cruel. Where is she staying? In the apartment, or has she taken my side of the bed? All these questions are snakes slithering through my brain, going round and round, chasing their tails, and I can’t help myself; my eyes jump to him to see his reaction.
He’s looking at her, but there’s no trace of the softness he used to look at her with. Instead, all I see is anger and frustration.
“What are you doing here?” Rose asks when Hadley stops at our booth.
“I heard you guys were here. I thought I’d join you for a drink,” she says, not looking at Rose but at Bailey.
“As you can notice, our booth is full,” Rose says, venom dripping from her words.
“It’s fine. I can just pull up a chair.”
She looks around, and I know without a doubt that once she finds one, she’ll pull it up next to Ryan.
“Funny that you want to join us when you told me that none of your friends,” I gesture to the people seated in the booth, “are important. How living in a small town is backward.”
Silence falls as everyone’s eyes land on her. I keep my face impassive, but inside I’m seething. My gloves are officially off. She helped to take them off when she showed me how little she cared about her dad dying, freeing me from the fear of coming across as insensitive.
“I never said that.” Hadley looks at me, unable to hide the hatred flashing in her eyes.
“She said that?” Ryan asks at the same time, his eyes full of questions.
“She said lots of things.” I direct my answer to Ryan, then look back at Hadley and shrug, showing her how little her words and her hatred mean to me. She can’t hurt me more than she already has. And my friends know I’m not a liar. “If you say so.”
“How does swallowing the consequences of your actions taste?” Piper asks when nobody speaks up in her defense. “Pretty shitty, I’m guessing.”
Damn, I love that girl.
Hadley’s lips press into a tight line. “Ryan, if we could have a word, please.” She turns beseeching eyes to him, but it seems that she’s shit out of luck because he regards her with a stony expression for a few seconds, before his gaze moves to me.
“No.”
“Please, Ryan,” she says with a hitch in her voice.
“We don’t have anything left to talk about. Everything that needed to be said has been said. Go, Hadley. You’re not welcome here anymore.”
Her head jerks back and I don’t bother hiding my satisfied smile. His attitude is a little late, but at least it’s better than nothing.
Hot on the heels of satisfaction, is surprise though. I know he told me he feels nothing for her besides friendship, but to see this complete change of attitude is jarring. It makes me angry. Why couldn’t he have opened his eyes earlier? Why did it take the destruction of our relationship for him to see?
Sitting back, I suck on my straw, keeping my eyes on her. I can’t believe I thought her beautiful. When I look at her now, all I see is ugly.
I’m so curious to see what she’ll do next. I mean, she did say she’ll fight for him till her dying breath. But how far is her pride willing to go?
“Are you happy?” she says, swiping a tear from her cheek. Her shoulders slump, and she hugs her arms protectively across her stomach, letting her tears flow freely. Damn, she’s good. She looks positively abandoned. If it wasn’t for the fact that she had shown me her true colors, I might have fallen for her act. “You’ve turned everyone against me. What have I ever done to you?”
I nearly choke on the sip I’m taking. “Excuse me?”
“Ever since I got here, you’ve been jealous of the relationship Ryan and I have. Isn’t it enough for you to drive a wedge between us?” she says, motioning to Ryan. “When will it end? When your manipulation has taken away everything and everyone from me? Are you really that insecure?”
At the end of her impassioned speech, she shoots Ryan a quick look, judging his reaction to her words. But she’s shit out of luck, because he shoots up, his legs hitting the table and causing our glasses to rattle.
“Don’t, Hadley. Don’t you dare put this on Aspen. You’ve done nothing but lie and manipulate since you got here. You’re the one who took every good memory I had of you and twisted it into something that makes me sick. Your actions cost me the love of my life. My biggest regret is that I was too blind to see you for who you truly are, and that Aspen had to pay the price for my stupidity.”
Ryan’s eyes meet mine and they’re brimming with apology. I duck my head, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to hold back my threatening tears. I want to tell him to sit down, that I can stand up for myself, and I don’t need him to do it. Not anymore. Not when it’s too late. But hearing him say that—witnessing him finally standing up for me is like a shot of heroin straight into my veins.
I also know my words would be plastic arrows, bouncing harmlessly off their target. I have a feeling that there isn’t anyone in the world besides Ryan that can hurt her.
And the look of devastation on her face confirms it.
We watch in silence as she turns, winding her way around people until she gets lost in the crowd, and it’s only then that I look at Ryan.
His eyes are on me. It seems that they’re always on me. There’s so much sorrow in them, and he whispers, “I’m so fucking sorry,” so softly, that if I hadn’t seen his lips moving, I wouldn’t have heard him.
Yeah, Ryan. You should be.