25. Chapter 25
Chapter twenty-five
Ryan
“ M y boy. What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Mom.” I’ve barely sat down before she’s whipped out a cutting board and starts preparing me a sandwich. If this is what it’s going to be like when I move back, I’ll have to join a gym.
“I had a visitor yesterday,” she says, frowning down at the lettuce she’s shredding.
“Oh?”
I try to appear nonchalant, but judging by her raised eyebrow, I fail spectacularly. I can’t help it though. If Aspen was here… That’s good, right? No matter how tenuous, it’s still a connection to her.
“Hadley. Not Aspen.”
My hope turns to blinding hot anger in a split second. “What did she want?”
“You, Ryan. She pleaded her case and tried to convince me that she is what’s best for you. As if I’d ever tell you who you should love. You’re a grown man,” she mutters, slapping some ham on the bread.
“What did you say?” I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with her. It feels like I’m back in school.
“I gave her a piece of my mind.” She leans forward, bracing her hands on the counter. “I’ve always had a soft spot for that girl, but that went away the day she hurt and betrayed you. You’re my son, and there is no world where I’ll pick her happiness over yours.”
Straightening, she cuts the sandwich with jerky motions.
“Besides, you know I’ve never let crocodile tears sway me. So, why are you here?” She puts the plate down a bit harder than necessary. Damn, she’s mad. “Not that I don’t like you being here, but I’m assuming there’s a reason.”
“Yeah, I want to ask you something.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”
“Would you mind if I moved back with you and Dad?”
I duck my head, trying to hide my smile at the shock on her face.
“You want to move back here?” she asks, carefully.
I nod, for the first time feeling a bit nervous about her answer. She sobbed the day I moved out, so I assumed she’d jump at the chance of having me back. But you know what they say about assuming. Maybe they love being empty nesters. My heart thumps in my chest while I wait for her answer, squashing crumbs instead of looking at her. My plan hinges on her permission. Without it, I don’t know what I’ll do.
“First, tell me why.”
“I’m selling my house.” I pause at the sound of distress she makes. She knows how much I loved it. “I hate being there, Mom. I hate not seeing Aspen there. I hate that I brought Hadley in there.”
“So, you’re going to sell, and then what?”
“Then I’m giving whatever profit I make from the sale to Aspen.”
I press my mouth in a firm line, waiting for the explosion that’s sure to come. I don’t care. It’s my life, my money, my decision, and I’ve made it.
Instead of the expected explosion, she rounds the counter and pulls me into a hug. After a few seconds, she pulls back and peers into my eyes. “Why?”
“Because she deserves it. Because she didn’t deserve what I did to her.” My face crumples, and I rub my chest at the remembered pain on her face. “I love her, Mom, and I failed her. She’s the most important person in the world to me, but I failed to show her that. I want to do whatever I can to make her life a little easier.”
“You can’t buy forgiveness, Ryan.” Her voice is soft but carries a clear admonishment.
“That’s not why I’m doing it. I don’t want her to know it’s coming from me, so I’m going to donate it anonymously. I want to help her, and it’s the only way I can think of doing it.”
“That’s very noble of you. A bit late, but noble nonetheless.”
I shrug. “Dad said nothing in this world worth having comes easy. This is just one of the ways I’m fighting for her.”
I glance at my phone while taking a sip of my beer. Aiden messaged that he’s parking, and I’ve watched Carter’s catamaran come in, so they’re both almost here.
I’m glad that my talk with Mom is done. It’s going to be so weird moving back home. But it is what it is.
Inhaling deeply, I look out over the ocean. It’s good to be out. To not be stuck in the suffocating emptiness at home where the shadow of Aspen lingers everywhere I look.
I never thought I’d be alone again. I thought I found the person I’d hold when things went wrong. Through good times and bad. And I did until I went and screwed up everything. Aspen was right when she said I didn’t protect our relationship. But she’s wrong in thinking it’s because I don’t love her enough. The truth is, I became complacent, and that played a huge part in our downfall.
I will never make that mistake again, and it’s up to me now to prove to her that there’s no one else in the world for me and that I will put her first. Even if we’re not together and I have to do it from afar.
I hate that she’s in pain. I hate that she’s having to work two jobs just to get by. Her pain I can’t fix, but her financial situation—that is something I can help with. And I have to because it’s partly my fault as well. She never would have bought the rescue without my encouragement. Without me promising her that she has a home with me.
Now she’s in over her head, and I can help fix it. But Aspen is proud and stubborn—a deadly combination at the best of times. If my feeble attempt at helping her with painting sets her off, there’s no way in hell she’ll accept money. So, I have to be sneaky about it.
Lucky, or depending on how you look at it, unlucky for me, I have done nothing but think. At night when I’m lying in our bed, unable to sleep because I miss her so fucking much, all I do is think. Sitting in my car, waiting for her shift to end so I can make sure she gets home safely, all I do is think. Every spare moment I have is consumed with thoughts of her. So, I’ve come up with a plan and that’s why I’m here.
“Earth to Ryan.”
Startled, I pull my eyes away from the ocean and watch as two of my best friends sit down at the table. We’ve known each other for more than half my life, and we’ve always had each other’s backs. There used to be four of us, but after Quinn blew up his life in a spectacular fashion, he moved away. Not gonna lie. I miss the bastard sometimes, despite what he did.
“Okay, so it’s no secret that I fucked up with Aspen,” I say once we all have a beer in hand.
“I’d say,” Carter says, running his hand through his windswept hair. He has that look about him, one that shouts that he’s at peace. It’s always been like that with him. The only place he’s truly content is when he’s out on the water.
Aiden grunts his agreement. “Hannah said Hadley showed up at her salon last week acting all friendly, but she wasn’t having any of it. Said she’d better not be thinking of booking an appointment with her. Not unless she wanted to walk out with a mullet or a perm. Seeing that we’re all backward hicks living in this backward town.” He’s smirking, and I can tell he’s picturing the scene in his mind. He never liked Hadley much, so I’m sure he’s not too cut up about it. “Damn, she was fired up. Practically burned up the sheets that night.”
I shake my head, trying to clear the image of them burning up the sheets from my head.
“Yeah. Well, I need to fix it.”
“Good luck with that. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help but overhear part of your conversation.” Carter grimaces. “It’s not like you guys were trying to be quiet. Look,” he says, leaning forward. “I’m all for fighting the good fight, but if I was a betting man, I’d say the odds are against you. Aspen seems pretty determined.”
“I know. And this isn’t about getting her back. It’s about fixing what I broke. But I’m not gonna lie. If there’s a chance she’ll take me back, I’ll grab it with both hands.”
“So, what do you want to do? And why call us?”
“I have a few thoughts, and I’m going to need your help with some of them.”
When I’m done laying out my plans, Aiden sits back with a frown. “I don’t know, man. I’m on board with everything. But your house? Are you sure about this? This is fucking huge.”
I nod without hesitation because I haven’t been more sure about anything in my life. The space is tainted. Beyond redemption. When I look at it, all I should see is Aspen, but now Hadley is mixed in with it. It’s not a home anymore. It’s a place of pain.
“Never been more sure.”
“That’s a lot of money you’re just giving away.”
I shrug as if it’s no big deal because to me it isn’t. Whatever profit I make from the sale is hers. “I can start again. Mom’s on board, so it’s done. I just need to get a realtor.”
Carter chuckles. “Your mom is going to love it. Prepare yourself for lots of clucking and mothering.”
I grimace at the thought. No matter how much I think about it, it still stays weird. Moving back home after so many years of being the king of my own castle is going to be an…adjustment. To put it mildly.
“I’ll compensate you for any loss of business you might have that day and your operating costs,” I say to him.
“Don’t sweat it. It’s going to be awesome advertising for me. It’s an amazing idea. I might incorporate something like that in my catalog,” he says, his eyes unfocused, and I can practically see the gears spinning in his head.
I sit back in satisfaction. Now that I have Carter on board, this idea of mine is looking more and more like an actual possibility.
“We’re an easy sell,” Aiden says, taking a sip of his beer. “The girls will be a different story.”
“I don’t think so. They hate seeing her struggle as much as I do. Once they understand my reasons for doing it, they’ll be all in.”