Chapter 29
Arizona
Seeing that I was wrung out, emotionally drained, Levi agreed it would be best to take a day to recover before coming clean to Austin.
A quick call to Cole and Crew, and they were on our doorstep, ready for “teensitting”—Crew’s word, not mine—duty.
Then Levi whisked me off to a luxury hotel for the night, where we shut out the rest of the world.
Dressed in fluffy robes the entire time, my husband held me close, murmuring words of love that did wonders to heal the cracks of my fractured soul.
But as it often did, morning came too soon, and it was time to face reality.
With Levi’s hand in mine, we pushed through the front door to the sound of laughter spilling from the kitchen, and guilt slammed into my chest with the force of a sledgehammer.
I’d seen Austin smile more in these past few weeks than in all the rest of my guardianship of him combined. Now, here I was, ready to blow up his entire world because I’d been too much of a coward to let Mom tell him the truth before she got sick.
Honestly, if Levi had never come along, I would have taken this secret to my grave to protect Austin. That’s what parents did, right? Do everything in their power to keep their child from feeling any pain?
My steps faltered, and my husband’s head turned in my direction, concern alight in his eyes.
“You okay?”
“No,” I admitted truthfully.
He brought his free hand to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. “You were brave enough to fight your way out of Hell. You are brave enough to do this too. And I think that you’re going to feel so much better once the secrets you’ve been carrying are no longer weighing you down.”
I wasn’t so sure. Not when coming clean had the potential to shatter the fragile relationship I had with Austin.
With a gentle tug on our joined hands, Levi pulled me toward where the kids and his teammates were making a ruckus.
We crossed the threshold to find the four of them tossing pieces of fruit across the kitchen to each other and trying to catch them in their open mouths.
Clearly, my assessment that hockey players were overgrown children wasn’t only limited to when they were on the ice.
“Hit me,” Levi announced our presence with those words, opening his mouth to participate in their game.
Austin lobbed a melon ball toward him, and Levi caught it expertly. He hummed in appreciation as he chewed, droplets of juice escaping past his sealed lips.
“You’re back!” Maisie ran to her dad, hugging him around the waist. “I missed you.”
Levi kissed the top of her head. “Missed you too, sweetheart. Did you have a fun night with Uncle Cole and Uncle Crew?”
She nodded. “They taught us how to play poker. And Uncle Crew said he’ll take us to Vegas when we turn twenty-one!”
He arched an eyebrow at his teammate. “Did he now?”
Crew held up both hands. “What? It’s a rite of passage.” He pointed a finger at Maisie. “But what did I make you promise?”
Maisie’s face grew serious. “No drunken Vegas weddings.”
“That’s right.” He tossed her a wink.
Giving his daughter a squeeze, Levi suggested, “Why don’t you show these guys where to find the best seashells? Arizona and I need a minute alone with Austin.”
She glanced at Austin, and he gave a small dip of his chin, letting her know it was okay before she agreed, “Sure.”
As soon as the door to the back deck closed behind them, Austin asked, “Did you find him? Did you find my dad?”
There was so much hope in his voice that tears sprang to my eyes.
“Yes and no,” Levi replied.
Austin’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”
“Why don’t we sit down?” My husband gestured toward the kitchen table.
Once seated, Levi turned to me, allowing me to take the lead.
Nausea churned in my gut, and my breathing grew so shallow that black spots danced in my vision.
I can’t do this.
“Hey.” The single word uttered in Levi’s soft voice breached my muted hearing. “Deep breaths, baby.” His hand found mine, and I gripped it like a lifeline.
That small act of comfort gave me courage, and I lifted my eyes to meet Austin’s. “There’s something you need to know.”
My son—I’d hardly allowed myself to think of him as such until now—frowned. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“I, um—” My windpipe closed up, not allowing me to continue.
Austin’s patience wore thin, and he snapped, “You what, Arizona? Spit it out.”
Fuck, my back was against a wall. There was no escaping the truth. Not anymore.
“I’m your biological mother,” I blurted.
Rearing back, Austin shook his head. “No, you’re not. Why would you even say that?”
Levi chimed in, “It’s true, bud.”
“Look, I don’t know what she told you, but my mother is Sarah Cleary. I’ve seen my birth certificate.”
I swallowed around the lump formed in my throat. “She adopted you as an infant. They issued a new birth certificate once it was made legal.”
He stood so suddenly that his chair clattered to the ground.
“No! You’re lying!” His palms slammed down on the wooden surface with a sharp crack as anger took over.
“You’ve always been jealous that I was closer to Mom.
That’s why you won’t let me visit, so you can feel like you’re the favorite,” he accused.
“I never thought you’d stoop this low to drive a wedge between us, though. ”
“Austin, it’s the truth, I swear! You know that scar on my belly? It’s a C-section scar. From when you were born.”
A scoff was pulled from the back of his throat. “I don’t believe a damn thing that comes out of your mouth. And I’m not going to sit here and listen to any more of your lies!”
He was gone from the room before I could utter a single word of protest.
Then the front door slammed shut so hard it shook the whole house.
And I couldn’t hold back my sobs a moment longer.
Panic permeated every cell in my body as I paced the foyer. It was getting dark, and Austin hadn’t returned.
When he stormed out, Levi had wanted to chase after him, but I’d told him not to. We’d dumped a lot on Austin, and he needed a minute to blow off some steam. But I quickly realized my mistake when I went to check on his location and saw he’d turned it off.
We tried calling him, but he wouldn’t pick up—not even for Maisie—so Levi, Cole, and Crew hopped into their respective cars and had been driving around the city for hours looking for him while I waited at home on the off chance that he came back.
The front door opened, and a flicker of hope lit up inside my chest, but it was snuffed out quickly when Levi appeared. Alone.
My husband dragged a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head. “No sign of him.”
“We can’t stop looking.” I lunged for my keys. I’d find him myself.
“Arizona.” Levi placed a hand on my arm, halting me. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.
Time to change tactics.
“We need to call the police. Report him missing.”
He sighed. “They won’t do anything until it’s been at least twenty-four hours.”
My frustration boiled over, and I yelled, “We can’t just sit here and do nothing! He’s out there somewhere, upset and all alone.”
Levi gathered me into his arms. “I know,” he murmured against my temple. “It’s killing me not knowing where he is. But our odds of finding him in the dark aren’t great. We have to hunker down until morning. If he’s not back by then, we’ll go to the police.”
Suddenly, my phone began vibrating, and I gasped, reaching for it in my back pocket.
My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw it was Ellen calling from Mom’s facility.
With a trembling hand, I accepted the call, bringing the phone to my ear. “Ellen? Is my mom okay?”
Her kind voice was laced with sadness. “Arizona, I don’t know how to tell you this . . .”
Oh, God.
Anticipating the worst, I let the phone fall from my grasp and crumpled to the floor.
Levi dropped down beside me, asking frantically, “What? What is it?”
I blinked at him, tears blurring my vision, and croaked out, “My mom.”
“Fuck.” The curse came out under his breath.
“Arizona? Can you hear me?” Ellen called out, her voice coming through the discarded phone’s earpiece.
Levi grabbed it, turned on the speaker function, and introduced himself. “This is Levi Nixon, Arizona’s husband.”
“Hello, Levi. I’m Ellen, one of the nurses who helps take care of Arizona’s mom.”
“I take it you wouldn’t be calling this late on a Saturday if there wasn’t an issue,” he prompted.
“Unfortunately, you are correct. We’ve got a situation over here and are not sure how best to proceed.”
His brow furrowed. “What kind of situation?”
“Austin’s here.”
“Oh, thank God,” Levi said on a relieved exhale. “Babe.” He reached for me. “He’s okay.”
I sincerely doubted that.
Ellen’s following words only confirmed that belief.
“Austin arrived visibly upset. We tried to explain that he needed to calm down before he could visit with Sarah, but he managed to slip past security before we could stop him. By the time we reached her room, he was demanding answers about his father. Sarah became agitated at his raised voice and began throwing things, saying that she didn’t know who he was and yelling at him to leave.
It only got worse when he ‘introduced’ himself, and she said he was lying, that her grandson was a toddler, not a teenager.
He refuses to leave, despite several staff members citing that his presence is hurting Sarah.
We would like to avoid having to forcibly remove him from the room, but we will have no choice if this goes on for much longer. ”
“We’re on our way.” Levi ended the call, rising to his feet and pulling me to mine. “Maisie!” he shouted. “We gotta go!”
The girl came rushing into the foyer. “Did you find him?”
He gave a nod. “Yeah, we need to go pick him up.”
She didn’t waste any time, pulling on her shoes and heading to the car. Levi guided me to the passenger side and got me settled before jogging around the hood and hopping behind the wheel.