Chapter 10 #3
Fern: Well, I actually don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean, I think it’s pretty normal not to have an edit letter after three months and I also don’t have my edit letter yet. I think that’s pretty normal, actually.
Yuna: OH. Really?? Omg. Aaaah! Now I’m so torn.
Fern: It’s just, idk if asking your agent to nudge would come off as like, high maintenance or something, you know?
Yuna: Oh man. You’re right. That IS pretty demanding, isn’t it? But I am getting nervous about the lack of an edit letter . . . I don’t want things to start running late and then because of that my book ends up getting pushed back a season or something, argh!
Publishing is notorious for running slow.
Unless it’s a book by a celebrity author or a book whose topic is super timely, many books get delayed because of various reasons—for example, an editor who is tardy with sending her edit notes.
In theory, I know this. But of course I have no idea if that’s what’s actually happening with Yuna’s book.
Is her editor late? Or maybe three months to write an edit letter is normal?
Who the hell knows? We’re debut authors, we know nothing, we’re babies in this industry!
But I know one thing, and that’s to be suspicious of anything Haven says, and this becomes my touchstone, my guide that tells me what’s right and wrong.
Trust your gut, Fern. And my gut is telling me that Haven is up to her old tricks.
Fern: I totally get that. I wouldn’t want my book to get pushed back either, but I think you should trust that your agent has things under control and that if she thinks your editor is running late, she will absolutely check in with her and make sure everything’s running smoothly.
Yuna: Whew. Okay, that is such a good point. I do trust my agent, she’s the best! You’re right, I should just lay off her and let her do her job in peace. Ugh, this whole industry is such a minefield, I swear!
Fern: It really is!
I hesitate, then continue typing.
Fern: And also, I would be extra careful about any advice that Haven Lee gives . . .
As soon as I hit Enter, all my senses scream at me. What have I done? I right-click on the message to delete it, but it’s too late. Already, I can see that Yuna is typing something. She’s seen my message.
Yuna: Oh my gosh, what do you mean? Why??
For a second, I am frozen, wondering what to say. Then I think: Screw it. I might as well tell her the truth.
Fern: I just don’t think that she has other people’s best interests at heart. I mean, she asked you to nudge your agent and that would’ve made you seem like a difficult client. Idk if you know this, but she’s represented by your agency too.
Yuna: OMG Is She??!! We’re agency siblings?? Wait, is she repped by Leanne too??
Fern: No, her agent is Rachel. But I’m just saying, she might feel competitive because you guys are at the same agency . . . IDK, I’m just guessing here. I’m sorry, I feel like an asshole, I don’t want to gossip about her.
Yuna: Of course not!
Fern: I’m just saying this to warn you so you don’t fall into the trap of listening to Haven’s advice because sometimes it doesn’t come from a good place.
Yuna: That makes sense. Wait, do you know her from before?
Fern: Yeah. That’s why I know what she can be like.
Yuna: Wowwww, that’s wild! Thank you so much for reaching out and letting me know!
Fern: Of course. Cone of silence please! I’m honestly kind of terrified of her, LOL!
Yuna: Omg of course! Cone of silence! Omg now I’m so scared of her, hahaha AAHH. I can’t believe I’m her agency sibling. Dude, her deal sounds Insane.
Fern: Doesn’t it?? I’m happy for her, really. I just wish that her having a huge deal like that would occupy her time enough so that she’d stop doing her usual shit.
Yuna: Yeah. Oh man, I mean, why bother sabotaging someone else’s career when hers is going so well??
Fern: I don’t know, but that’s pretty par for the course with the Haven I know.
Yuna: Wow, okay. OKAY. I’m sooo glad I haven’t sent that email to my agent. Now I know. Thank you again!!
There. I’ve saved someone from Haven’s clutches. Something I’ve wished for myself countless times, and I’ve managed to start the ball rolling. Is it cliché to say that I feel proud of myself? Oh, to hell with it. I absolutely do. I want to give myself a pat on the head, actually.
“And now,” I say out loud, “I am closing my laptop and going to enjoy the real world.”
This was something Aliyah drilled into me.
The value of a good walk, using all my senses and noticing everything around me to help ground me in the space outside of my own head.
I’ve had to work hard at it because after so many years of bullying, I developed a habit of escaping reality and burrowing into myself, curling my consciousness into a tight ball and pretending that nothing else existed.
It’s taken years to pull me out of my shell, and now I relish my daily walks.
I leave the apartment with a sense of, if not peace, then something approaching it.
I’m no longer a passive observer, lying back and letting Haven trample people over in her rush to the top.
And I’m stopping myself from obsessing over her again by indulging in a self-care session.
I’ve grown so much as a person, and I am so proud of myself for it.