Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
XANDER
S tepping into the coffee shop, I considered extending my walk to allow some of the sun we’re finally getting to warm my skin. Being cooped up in the office, even with the wide-open spaces and oversized windows, still makes me feel stifled, so I like to get out when I can and treat myself. Removing my sunglasses, I allow my eyes to adjust to the artificial light and scan the near empty cafe as the aromatic scents of caramel, honey, and nuts wake up my stomach.
Would you look at that? I’d thought my day had been top tier, but spotting London here, all pretty in pink, is the cherry on the top of a very decadent cake. I’m suddenly in the mood for some verbal sparring and wind through the tables, calling out to her again as a few heads turn in my direction.
Her head remains down, turned away toward the window as she pretends not to hear me, and I laugh at her stubbornness. Stopping beside her, I notice the tense set of her raised shoulders, and before I can say anything, her mirrored reflection of anguish punches me in my stomach, knocking the air from my lungs, bringing me to my knees.
“ Baby, no .” Crouching beside her, my hand moves on its own accord as it comes up to stroke the back of her head. Possession and the burning need to protect her from any and everything that could hurt her blazes through my chest.
She doesn’t respond as she dabs at her face and exhales a deep breath before turning to me. Eyes red and slightly puffy, she pastes on a fake smile but doesn’t meet my eyes. “Hey.”
Her voice sounds different, like she’s far away, keeping her distance, protecting herself beneath a hard shell.
“Don’t hey me.” As she tries to turn away, hiding from me again, I try to ease her tension, slowly moving my hand to cradle her cheek and get her eyes on me. “Tell me what's wrong, baby.” Tell me , I silently beg. Whose life am I ending? I’ll have it taken care of by the end of business day.
Her wide wet eyes plead with me to drop it, and her little shrug sends a pang through me. My thumb moves rhythmically back and forth as I wait her out. There’s no way I’m letting this go. Not when she’s clearly hurting.
“My ex called.”
Her words, spoken in a deep monotone, send a jolt through me. My jaw is so tight my molars grind, as she wipes under her eyes again and her expression softens a bit as we gaze at each other, my eyes drifting all over her beautiful face and before I can say something I may regret a smirk lifts her lips.
“Did you really call me a stalker? I was here first.” Brushing my hand aside, as if to say she’s fine, I fight the desire to be skin to skin again as I rise to my feet. Allowing her to move past whatever this is and back to what’s familiar for us.
“I don’t think so. I work on this block, so I’m here quite often. What’s your excuse?” I ask, pulling out my phone as I slide into the available seat across from her.
“If you must know.” She gives me an eye roll that pulls a grin to my lips. “I had a job interview nearby. And of course, it went well.”
“Whoa, so you’ll be close by every day? We’ll get to have these little coffee dates often then.” I waggle my brows.
“This is not a date. You’re totally intruding on my time.”
Ignoring her lies, I tap away on my phone, before meeting her eyes. “Everyone at Best Buds loved you.”
Beautiful eyes dart away at the compliment. Interesting.
“They were great. I’m happy Ty asked for my help. He’s doing great work over there. You all are.”
I shrug. “What makes it great is, none of us consider it work. It’s just something we all enjoy doing.”
Her expression softens as she recounts some of the more outgoing kids, and we share a few laughs before my phone vibrates on the table.
Glancing at the incoming text, I lean back in my chair as my eyes roam over her. “So, you’re free for a little while.”
She snorts, shooting me a glare. “I’m never free, but I could make myself available.”
“We’ll dissect that later, but I wasn’t asking. Do you want another coffee before we go?” I take a look at her table and the left-over remnants of her pastries before adding, “Or can I stuff your mouth with something just as sweet?”
That mischievous grin is back. “ Stuffed is an overstatement, full-on exaggeration. A nibble. A small bite, if I recall. I’ve had much more delicious and substantial things stuffed in my mouth since.”
I laugh, rising to place an order to go but not before bending to whisper in her ear, “Liar. You never even tasted my crème filling. I think you need to give it another chance and really go for it for a proper comparison.”
Laughing with a shake of her head, she points to her brownie wrapper in response to my raised eyebrows in a silent question, and I quickly turn to place an order of brownies and bottled waters.
Refusing to be away from her, even for a few minutes while I wait for our order, I return to our table as she avoids my eyes.
“I need to freshen up. Excuse me.”
Moving to pull out her chair, she offers a tight smile but once she stands, I don’t step back. Instead, I let the warmth of her body seep into me, her sweet fragrance wrapping around us. Unable to resist, I inhale deeply, filling my lungs.
She shakes her head as her hand comes up to push against my chest, but I capture it as it flattens against me. Covering her hand with my own, I continue to block her path so she can’t walk away, and I allow my eyes to skim her face again before meeting her questioning eyes.
“You’re beautiful. Pink is one of your many colors. If this is what you wore to your interview, I’m sure you had them eating out of the palm of your hand.”
She doesn’t realize how cute she is when she gives a little headshake. “Sir, I’ll have you know, I had them eating out of my hand because I’m a boss, not because of the way I look.”
“Oh, I know. You’re such a fucking boss. They’ll be lucky to have you and look at you…” I lean in, running my nose up the column of her neck as I inhale that kiss of vanilla on her skin. “And smell you every day.”
She gives a little shiver before she can catch herself but too quickly, she retreats. “Give me a sec.”
I watch her long after she hurries into the restroom before my phone vibrates in my hand. Smiling at the confirmation, I grab our order and wait for London. The excitement for what I have planned starting to bubble in my gut.
Sure, there are a few nerves. I’ve never done something like this for a woman before. Granted, those situationships didn’t keep throwing us together like this and I’ve never had to consider feelings outside of the bedroom or wherever we just happened to fuck. But there’s something about London. As much as I want to push her face into a pillow and fuck her until she can’t walk or she submits to me, I love her biting words. That fucking confidence to give as good, if not better, than she gets. I swear, her voice, when it gets all haughty when she’s telling me to fuck off, gets me harder than the filthiest porn I’ve ever watched. And even though we aren’t fucking, I want to see her, spend time with her every day.
Striding toward me, her head held high, London holds my gaze the entire way, and the impish little smile that splits her face as she nears sends a twinge to my chest. She’s refreshed her makeup, but she was just as perfect before.
“Alright, Xander. I’m trusting you not to fuck this up.”
“Never. Have you met me? Let’s go, babycakes.”
Grabbing our things, I offer an arm and lead her outside, back into the warmth of the sun, and to my waiting SUV. Closing the door with a slam, I hurry around to jump in before she can change her mind. Karina turns as I climb in.
“London, this is Karina.”
“Karina, this is my dear friend, London.”
She side eyes me. “Dear friend is a stretch. Relax.”
I huff as Karina giggles. “Oh, I like you.” I watch as her eyes practically bulge out of their sockets as she stares at my pretty girl in pink. My stomach churns at the memory of Karina’s type. Busty. Bouncy. Looking over at London as she laughs at Karina, I nod. London absolutely fits the bill.
“Fine. This is Ty’s cousin. We’re not friends at all. I’m just being nice.”
“See, was that so hard?” she teases before turning back to Karina with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too. And I totally see it. It’s the eyes, but yours are more striking. You’re stunning.”
“Thank you. You are too. I’ve always loved a blonde bombshell.”
Karina blushes. Her fucking cheeks bloom strawberry red as she ducks her head for a moment, but then those eyes are back roaming all over London and I’ve had enough of whatever this is.
“Karina? Do you have the address I sent?”
“Yes, I got it. Cool your jets.” She shoots London a wink before turning and smiling at me in the rearview mirror. “The items your assistant sent over are on the backseat.”
“Perfect, thank you.” Before I can say anything else, Karina pulls out into traffic, and she and London laugh and talk, excluding me from the conversation all the way to our destination.
Before I can move an inch, Karina is already out the truck and sprinting around to open London’s door. I hide my sneer as I reach back, grab the bags and climb out. The girls are still gossiping away as I make my way around the car and they don’t look in my direction as I approach, so I clear my throat.
Karina looks up, smiling sweetly. She knows what the fuck she’s doing. What a little cockblock. “I’ll text when we’re ready. Thank you,” I say with gritted teeth.
She laughs with a nod. “See you later, London.”
London waves her off before turning to me. “She’s so sweet. How does she put up with you?”
Ignoring her teasing, I swing the bags between us. “Are you ready for your surprise?”
She actually smiles at that, her eyes lighting up as she asks, “A surprise?”
My heart gives a weird little flip as I take in her expression. It’s certainly different from when I first saw her in the coffee shop and that was my goal, so I nod.
“Let’s go. We’re headed this way.”
Falling into step with me, she asks, “Do I get a hint about this surprise? Are you locking me in a small room and throwing water balloons at me?”
I snort out a laugh. “That’s very specific.” I grin at her. “Now you’re giving me ideas. I should be writing this down.”
She throws her head back with a big laugh and her happiness makes any uncertainty I was feeling float away, so I lean in to say, “Actually, if I got you in a small room, you’d be soaked, but it wouldn’t be from water balloons.”
The sound she makes as her laughter cuts off abruptly and she sucks in a breath sends heat racing through my body. She tries to fight it, always with a smart-ass comment, but she’s not immune to me.
“You got me. I walked right into that one.”
“You sure did, but you’d feel better if you just walked right out of these clothes and into my bedroom.”
“Ugh. You are a ruiner of fun. Shut up.”
I laugh as I open the glass door “After you.” Her little nod is appreciative, and I have to fight the urge to slap her ass as she passes. Fuck. If she were mine… I stand there, frozen staring after her.
Where the fuck did that come from? She’s not mine. But as she turns and stares at me expectantly, those golden green eyes catching the sun and mesmerizing me, the thought rings in my head again. If she were mine, I’d disrespect the fuck out of her body, in all the best ways, and cherish the ground she walked on.
Her soft lilt calling my name, pulls me back from my wayward thoughts, and I obediently step in beside her. Guiding her to the elevator, it arrives quickly, and we ascend.
Turning to me again, she questions, “Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”
Smiling softly, I shake my head and hold up the bag. “Soon, babycakes. But first we have to get you naked.”
Naked. Changed. Same thing. London steps out of the restroom in the black jeans, black fitted long-sleeve tee, and the lace up black boots and I flashback to when I first saw her on St. Paddy’s Day.
“I don’t know if I should be impressed or concerned that you know what size I wear. Especially the shoes. That’s creepy.”
I shrug. “What can I say? It’s a gift.”
“And your poor assistant. How many times has she had to go out and buy clothes for the unfortunate women you’ve coerced into spending time with you?”
“You’re the first and only. You looked like you needed…” I clear my throat, nodding toward the door. “Let’s go. I have a few people for you to meet.” I’ve also removed my suit and changed into dark jeans and long-sleeved navy henley.
Stepping into the bright room, I spot our hosts as London’s eyes scan the open space. “Doug. Jason. Thanks so much for having us. I really appreciate it. This lovely lady is London Cameron.”
Shaking hands, Doug smiles before saying, “Well, when you call and request to rent out the entire facility for a few hours, there’s no way we wouldn’t accommodate you.”
Jason laughs. “Don’t let him fool you. We don’t open today until early evening, so it really was no problem.”
Laughing, I shove Doug in the shoulder. “Asshole. I’m happy to pay whatever because I’m sure people had to come into work to open everything early and prepare for us. I want to take care of your team.”
As we continue to speak, London’s gaze is riveted to me, and I can’t read her expression to grasp how she’s feeling. But as the guys point us toward our first stop, my excitement takes over, my blood pumping, and I rub my hands together.
“Are you ready for this, babycakes?”
“Ax throwing?! Are you sure you trust me?”
“Absolutely. I’m confident that you’re going to be picturing someone else’s face when you stare at that bullseye.”
“That was amazing,” she squeals. “I’m kind of a bad ass.”
I chuckle. “You were impressive. It's a little scary actually.”
She grasps onto my arm and giggles. Fucking giggles as she looks up at me with those bright eyes and my resolve melts away like butter on a griddle. This. I want to see her like this every single day.
“Xander, thank you so much. I didn’t know how stressed I was. Some murdery fun was just what I needed.”
My chest puffs out a bit at her words and at her caressing hand up and down my arm. I give my bicep a little flex so she knows what’s up.
“You're welcome, babycakes. Did you slay your dragons?”
She sighs, her smile softer now. “Not quite, but close.”
“Well, hopefully our next little adventure will grant you the opportunity.”
She smiles up at me again and gives me another squeeze as warmth flows through me. I don't recall when it happened, but our hands are clasped. As she talks a mile a minute about how she absolutely loves surprises, I listen with a smile and savor this new feeling.
This is exactly what I wanted for her today. Seeing that pain on her face, those tears on her cheeks, practically broke me. I don't enjoy seeing anyone cry, that's not the kind of person I am. But seeing her in pain was too fucking much. So maybe we both needed this today. Heading down to the next level, she squeals when she sees the sign above the glass door.
“A rage room!?”
“Oh yeah. I think you have some aggression hiding within you. Today is the day to let that shit loose and fuck some shit up. What do you say?”
“Yes!” She bounces on her toes. “Let's do this!”
We listen to the spiel of the staffers and pull on our safety equipment. London's gone quiet as she adjusts her gloves as we enter the room. Doug and Jason pulled through. The nondescript space is packed with goods. A table along one bare wall is covered in stacks of miscellaneous items and random electronics are scattered around the room just waiting for us to absolutely destroy them. London lets out a deep breath, pulling my attention back to her.
“London,” I say softly. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, and that’s fine. But I saw you were upset earlier. Take that pain—how you felt at the coffee shop—and channel it here. Let that shit go, baby.”
She looks up at me again, her eyes welling up, and I shake my head.
“If those tears are for your ex, fuck him. Any man that's stupid enough to let you go and to not worship at your feet is a fucking shit for brains and he doesn't deserve your time, attention, or tears. Do you hear me?”
She nods, taking another shaky breath.
“Alright, get your fucking helmet on and let's do this.” Holding out my sledgehammer, she taps it to her bat with a grin before we survey the room.
She looks over at me with a wide grin, before yelling, “Are you ready for the ultimate destruction?”
I laugh at her silly tone of voice. “Hell yeah! Let's goooo!”
“Fuck you, motherfucker,” she screams again as her aluminum bat comes down on an old DVD player, sending debris flying in every direction.
“I can't believe I wasted so much time on you. You were never worth it. How was I so stupid?”
Bang! Bang! Bang! Her bat connects with a table and a stack of old cassette tapes.
“You're engaged? Fucking engaged? I was blind but now I see. Pencil dick fucker!”
I haven't raised my hammer in about fifteen minutes. Once London got going, I moved the fuck out of the way. At the first crash of her bat shattering a coffee maker, her floodgates opened up and she let loose. Swing after swing, curse after curse.
From her outburst, I’ve gathered that she hates her ex, whom she was with for years, and who is now engaged after a few months. But she keeps yelling about wasted time, years she can't get back, and running out of time, and I want to untangle it all and lift whatever this burden is off her shoulders. Only snarky remarks, moans, and laughter should fall from her lips.
All of this, the ranting and cursing, would be hilarious if I couldn’t hear the torment in her voice. Smell the sweat and regret all over this room. I’d happily laugh at her enthusiasm, but as her voice broke with each and every shout and yell my heart clenched instead. I thought this would help, you know, break through her walls so to speak, but now I think it’s just breaking her and it’s killing me. With every sob and broken cry, a blaze builds in my gut that scares me. Because at this moment, I know I’d go full on scorched earth to never hear these sounds from her beautiful lips again. Fuck, I’d do it just to make her giggle.
Her chest heaves as she searches for more destruction. I help out, gesturing wildly toward a stack of tires, and she screams again as she beats against them. I watch on as she demolishes a few old school televisions, a huge swing at a keyboard sends keys scattering to the cement floor, then she trashes a radio before finally dropping her bat, her hands covering her face as she starts to sob, her body trembling.
Shit.
“ London .” My voice is gruff as I wade through the destruction, carefully removing her helmet. And as much as I’m pulling her into my arms, she’s seeking my strength, pressing her body into mine.
“It's okay, let it all out, babycakes. That's all I want you to do, just let it out. Let that shit go,” I murmur into her sweaty hair.
Her arms tighten around me as I run soothing hands up and down her back. “Take your time. I'm here. If you want to talk about it that's fine, if not, I’ll shut up and have them bring in every fucking television, eight track player, toaster or yellow fridge they have. You can destroy everything until your arms fall off. Do you hear me? I'll do whatever you need until you feel better.”
Resting my cheek on the top of her head, I growl, “You want me to go kick his ass? I’ll gas up the jet and we’ll be in Seattle before you know it.”
Her small huff of laughter lets me know that she’s still with me. But her breaths are ragged as she continues to cling to me.
“You’re so strong. Carrying that shit everywhere you go, but you’re home. You’re with family now. We got you. Forget that bullshit and just breathe for me, baby. Slowly. In and out,” I babble, and for several long minutes, I just hold her together as her chest heaves and she struggles for every breath. Feeling helpless, I continue to rub her back, making soothing sounds and promises, letting her know that I'm here, that I’ll always be here.
As her breathing returns to normal and she finally inhales a deep breath before letting it out slowly, her arms wrapped around me squeeze a little tighter before she looks up at me. As our eyes meet a powerful wave of yearning flows through me, taking me by surprise and I realize I don’t want to let her go.
“Thank you. It may not look like it right now, but I needed this, it was cathartic.” Her whisper is raspy.
“No need to thank me, but...” I murmur, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
“Oh, god. Don’t. I’m a mess.” She tries to pull away, but I tighten my hold.
“No, you don’t. You’re just as spectacular in this moment as you were yesterday and as you will be tomorrow.” Grinning down at her, I ask, “But, you know what you need?”