CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jack
God, the way she looked up at me from under her lashes, all naked vulnerability.
I bit the inside of my cheek. Jesus Christ, she’s actually vulnerable right now, stop.
I managed to get us both to the cabin and into the bedroom. The dog looked up at me from his place on the bed and I clicked my fingers. “Down, boy.”
She snorted, her eyes rolling slightly in her head from the effort. “Where did the dog come from?”
“I don’t know, I woke up one morning and it wasn’t only me in the bed,” I replied, softly placing her down on the lumpy mattress.
“I bet it’s not the only morning you’ve woken up with someone else in bed with you,” she muttered, rolling onto her side.
“Actually it is,” I replied and disappeared into the kitchen to get her some water. My hands were still shaking from rage about what that asshole had done to her.
I’d caught him slipping something in her drink and the second I got in his face and questioned him, he started practically crying and saying how he just wanted her to loosen up so they’d have sex. My stomach churned at the thought of what could have happened if I hadn’t caught him, annoyed at myself for not spotting him doing it to her first drink.
The restraint I’d exercised by not smashing the fuck out of his face should go down in some kind of Hall of Fame. The guy took off the second Max put a hand on my shoulder. With the dude long gone, I’d asked Max if I could take off to make sure Kat got home okay.
I filled the glass and brought it back to her. She’d managed to pull herself into a sitting position on the bed. My eyes dropped to her thighs where the dress had ridden up. The dress I’d immediately imagined unbuttoning the second I saw it. I could just picture her staring down at me as I started from the bottom and—
“Here you go, drink this,” I said, shoving the glass towards her. Her eyes were still dazed and her movements slow. Hopefully over the next couple of hours, the drug would wear off and she’d just feel like she had one hell of a hangover.
I grabbed one of her ankles and her gaze flicked to me, heating. I swallowed, pulse pounding with desire. The next few hours were going to be hell. I pulled off her boots and put them by the side of the bed and then tossed the comforter over her, shielding her legs from my stare, not wanting to make her feel any more uncomfortable.
Silence enveloped us, growing heavier by the moment.
She sipped her water. “What’s the dog’s name?” she asked quietly.
I glanced at said dog who was lying in the corner on a pile of my clothes, watching us.
I shrugged. “Right now? Dog.”
“You haven’t named him?” she gasped.
A smile slipped onto my face at her outrage. “Nah not yet. I didn’t know if I was cut out for looking after a dog but he’s kinda forced himself on me.”
“Dogs choose you, you don’t choose them.” She nodded at me sagely, cute as a damn button.
“Wise words,” I smirked down at her. A curl dropped over her face, tangling in her long lashes and I brushed it back, the lock winding round my finger like it didn’t want to let me go.
“Name it,” she demanded.
“You name it,” I shot back.
Her face twisted in thought, her nose wrinkling adorably. “Sebastian.”
I pulled a face. “No.”
“Carlisle?”
I raised a brow. “Like from Twilight?”
She reared back. “Excuse me? You know about Twilight?”
I shrugged. “Watched it in prison. And read it.”
She gasped at me, and I laughed at her horror.
She tapped her chin, thinking. “Hmm, okay how about Teddy?”
I pretended to think it over, looking at the dog. His head tilted to one side as he stared at me. He did kinda look like a bear. “Okay fine, Teddy it is.”
“Yay, I did something right, for once.” Her voice held a hint of defeat.
I frowned as she focused intently on the water glass. “Hey, what do you mean?”
She shrugged and pushed out a breath, her hair flailing. “Oh just, everything’s going to shit. I can’t even have a simple date, I miss my best friend, we’re gonna lose the ranch, my sisters will be out on their asses and it’s all my fault.”
Whoa. “What? What’s happening with the ranch?”
She looked up at me, resignation in the depths of her navy stare and nibbled her lip. “We owe money, we’re not making any and I’ve got no clue what to do about it.”
“Well, what do your sisters say?”
“I haven’t told them, I don’t want to worry them.”
“It’s their home too, they have a right to worry about it. They might be able to help?” I couldn’t believe she was carrying this burden all herself on those dainty shoulders. No wonder she always seemed so tightly wound. Although who could blame her after everything she’d had to deal with. And now this too?
“They’ve got enough going on, they don’t need this.”
I knew it wasn’t my place to get involved. I needed to stay out of this family, I’d done enough damage, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to help ease the burden on Kat as much as possible. “But they could—”
“No, Jack!” she yelled, then immediately groaned and clasped a hand to her forehead, her eyes squeezing shut. I leaned across and placed my hand to her forehead, her skin was hot and clammy to the touch. I smoothed my thumb over the spot between her brows and slowly they fell away from each other, her expression clearing. Her body went lax against the bed and she moaned briefly, the sound flying out of her and hitting me low in the gut, my stomach clenching.
Her eyes popped open. “What are you doing?” she demanded, and I realized I had just touched her, like it was totally my right to do so. Like it was as natural as breathing to ease her discomfort.
I dropped my hand. “Uh, sorry about that.” That awkward silence hit us again and not even the sound of Teddy investigating his belly fur made things less awkward. “So, uh, where did you meet that guy?”
She scoffed. “Dating app. I’ll need to report him.” She began looking around for her phone.
“Don’t worry, we can do it tomorrow and let the police know as well. I can take you to the hospital if you’d like to get checked over?”
She just nodded and then buried her face in her hands. “I’m so stupid,” she sobbed.
My heart twisted in my chest at the sight of those blue eyes watering. I grabbed her hands where she scrubbed at her face. “Hey, no you’re not, he was a fucking asshole. I’m sorry about tonight. I know that spending time with me was the last thing you wanted to be doing.”
“I was trying to avoid you,” she grumbled.
The words hurt. I kept forgetting the nature of our relationship when we had moments like this. I wanted like hell to forget and hope for a future where something could happen but it couldn’t.
“I should have taken longer to get to know him, but I was so desperate to stop thinking about yo—uh,” She cut herself off, her eyes darting away.
Surely I hadn’t heard that right? Surely she wasn’t trying to forget about… me ?
No, that would be ridiculous. She hated me, had every reason to. I wasn’t going to push her on it no matter how much it killed me, because I would not do this to her.
“Oh no,” she wailed, clutching her stomach .
I leapt up. “You think you can make it to the bathroom?”
She scrabbled to get the blankets off her. “No!”
I snagged the metal trash can, tipping it up to get all the debris out and had it in her hands just in time. She retched, her hair falling forward. She choked as she heaved, the force of it contracting her body painfully. I sat beside her on the bed and rubbed her back like I’d done a few weeks ago when we were by the side of the road.
She continued retching and I managed to get the trash can off her to empty it. I made her sip some more water before the next round started.
“Come on sweetheart, get it all out,” I said, internally panicking at how pale and shivery she was getting.
“I th-think I’m d-done,” she shivered.
“I think I should call someone,” I said, pulling out my phone.
“No, please. I just want to lie here and sleep.” Another shiver wracked her and I pulled her closer, keeping the can nearby and tilted the glass of water towards her dry lips again. She sipped slowly and I rubbed her back and arms, tugging the blanket around her to keep her warm. She snuggled against me, fitting right into the crook of my arm, my chin resting on her head.
“Tell me about prison?” she asked quietly.
I swallowed thickly. I didn’t like talking about it for obvious reasons, but she needed distracting and I’d never deny her anything. I stayed away from the darker parts and focused on the good.
“My first year was tough, just like you’d expect. It’s lonely. I didn’t want to make friends and guilt was eating me alive. Charlie visited me every month in that first year and I refused to see him. I didn’t think I could look him in the eye, and I figured he just wanted to abuse me. I’d taken away his love and the mother of his kids,” I began. She trembled beside me, and I thought this might be tough for her to hear but she was staring at me with rapt attention, sleep forgotten.
“I finally gave in and the first time I saw him, he said to me, ‘ Hey son’, and I just burst into tears like a big baby. How was it possible to feel more affection from him in those two words than from my own parents?”
“Did your parents ever visit you?” she asked.
“Nope, I’ve not seen them since I was sentenced.”
“I’m sorry,” she said sadly, and it hit me right in the chest that she was sorry for me. That I hadn’t seen my parents when I’d taken one of hers away.
“Don’t be. Anyway, it became obvious that Charlie wanted to keep coming back and at first, the visits were hard. I think I cried almost every time, and some visits were tough on him too. He was a good man and wanted to forgive but sometimes it was hard for him.”
“I don’t know how he did it…”
Her words were another punch to the gut. It reminded me that she would never forgive me. But she didn’t have to, she didn’t owe me anything.
“Then we built a relationship, he became a surrogate father figure. We talked about the outside world, he kept me up to date on current events and talked about you girls. I know all about Casper,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
She groaned and covered her face. “Jesus, he told you about my imaginary boyfriend from when I was a kid?”
I laughed and she pinched me in the rib. “Hey, it’s not my fault you watched Casper the movie and then immediately made up a boyfriend.”
“Well I had to, none of the other boys would go out with me. I was too tall ,” she mimicked and huffed.
“No such thing,” I replied. She stifled a yawn. “Come on, sweetheart, enough about this. Get some sleep, you’ve had one hell of a night.”
“But I like hearing the stories about my dad, he had a whole life with you that I know nothing about,” she complained.
“I’ll tell you whenever you ask me. But your body needs rest,” I soothed. I was reluctant to encourage her to sleep because I was enjoying our time far too much. I knew that tomorrow, when the drugs were all flushed out of her system, we wouldn’t talk like this. I wanted to savor this moment but I wanted her to be well, too.
She fidgeted next to me and snuggled in closer, like she couldn’t burrow in deep enough. After a while her breathing slowed and just before she fell asleep, she said something that slayed me:
“I like it when you call me sweetheart.”
*
Kat was gone when I awoke in the morning. The blankets tucked up around me, Teddy had resumed his position on the bed and the trash can was clean and dry next to me.
I tugged my phone out of the pocket of my jeans, a fifth hand iPhone that had cost most of the money I had. Seeing it was late morning, I stretched lazily and relaxed back into the bed. I didn’t need to do anything until later tonight when I had another shift at the bar. Teddy ended up kicking me in the back which made me grumble and decide to get out of bed.
I showered and dressed before going outside to take a deep breath of crisp mountain air. I’ d been cooped up in a stuffy prison for too long and breathing the fresh air in, feeling it hit my lungs, was such a high.
The longer I stood there, breathing deep and sun shining, the more I felt rejuvenated. It had nothing to do with the stunning leggy blonde I’d spent all night watching until I finally slipped off to sleep. Nothing to do with being needed by someone and feeling a physical closeness to a woman for the first time ever. Definitely nothing to do with being touched by another. Nope, my happy mood today had nothing to do with that.
I remembered that I’d been so busy getting Kat out of the bar last night that I hadn’t collected my tips, which I needed today to buy some basic tools and wood. I went back inside and said goodbye to Teddy who hadn’t moved from the bed and began the walk to town.
Swinging by the bar, I had a quick chat with Max before grabbing my tips, amazed to see there was more than I expected. Then I found the local hardware store and managed to get the most basic toolkit available: it consisted of one hammer, two screwdrivers and a drill. Not much but it was the best I could do right now. I picked up a saw, a box of miscellaneous screws and nails before checking out all the sexy timber they had. The smell of the wood seduced me more than the feel of those natural grooves.
There were suddenly loads of things I wanted to try building. I just wanted to grab a huge chunk of wood and see what I could make with it. Instead I settled for a couple of sheets of plywood.
I was at the checkout, getting eyeballed hard by the clerk, when I spotted a hand planer in the clearance bin. I grabbed it, mentally counting out how much this was going to cost.
“You need help carrying this out to your vehicle?” the clerk offered reluctantly.
My brain began spinning. “Uh…” How was I gonna get all this home? I couldn’t carry it. Sure, I was strong but these were awkward to hold and it wasn’t a short journey. Then I had a lightbulb moment. “Can you just hang onto them for like ten minutes?”
The clerk shrugged at me and once I paid, I ran back to the bar. “You got any of those dollies for carting around kegs?” I asked when I spotted Max.
He frowned at me. “Dollies?”
“Yeah, like one of those hand cart things. A dolly?” I’d said dolly so many times the word didn’t make sense anymore and Max continued to stare at me like I was crazy. “For carrying heavy shit around? It’s on wheels?”
“Oh yeah, in the back. Why?” he replied.
“Can I borrow it? I need to get some stuff home and then I’ll bring it back tonight.”
Max shrugged. “Weird but okay.”
“Thanks man, I owe you!” I headed in the back and found it buried under a ton of crap that I shifted to one side. I went back to the hardware store and piled it up with all my goodies and walked out with a big ass smile on my face. I practically skipped all the way home, practically because it’s hard to do with a piled high dolly, especially when it came to the gravel and grass.
I unpacked the cart and looked at my new stuff, deciding immediately to fix the front door to the cabin. It needed rehanging which was why it was so damn drafty.
After fighting with the door for thirty minutes under the hot sun, I stripped off my damp shirt, tucking it into the back pocket of my jeans. I’d banged my thumbnail too many times to count, used a bunch of swear words I knew even Charlie would frown at, but I felt good .
I started working on the porch, fixing some of the broken planks. Teddy eventually came out to investigate all the noise and his high-pitched bark drew my attention.
I felt her stare on me. Just like when I would catch her watching me from Charlie’s office. We both pretended she wasn’t watching. It was a game I was happy to continue playing because I sure as hell didn’t hate the way her eyes devoured my skin.
The back of my neck prickled and I turned to face her. The sun shone behind her, casting a halo around her straight blonde hair which was gently blowing in the breeze. She was barefoot, an anklet that was usually hidden by her cowgirl boots gleaming in the sun. Her long legs bare all the way up to the white denim cutoffs she was wearing. The oversized red lumberjack shirt had jealousy coursing through me at the thought of it being from another man.
“Hey,” I said, wiping the sawdust and sweat from my chest. Her eyes immediately dropped to my torso and lingered before she shook her head. I tried not to smirk and failed.
“Hey,” Kat replied.
“How are you feeling today?” I watched as Teddy went over and sat next to her whining. Why did my dog love her more than me?
She shrugged, reaching one hand down to stroke Teddy’s head, the other still clasped behind her back. “Stomach feels a little funny. I just feel a bit hungover and don’t really remember a lot.”
My stomach clenched at the thought of her not remembering our time together. We talked about incredibly personal things, and I felt like our relationship was changing, like she was starting to like me a bit. Which is crazy considering our history but I needed this woman to like me .
I don’t know when things changed, only that they had and I couldn’t stop how I was starting to feel about her.
I swallowed. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”
She flicked her gaze from Teddy to me. “I am, thanks to you. I might not remember a lot but I remember you looked after me and I…appreciate that.”
“Of course, anyone would do the same.” I shrugged, like it was nothing. Hoping she wouldn’t see the way my heart was pounding out of my bare chest at just being around her.
“If you say so.” She pulled her hand out from behind her back and was holding a red dog collar. “I uh, got you something to say thank you.” She bent down and secured it around Teddy’s neck. “If you hate it obviously you don’t need to keep it, I just remembered this from last night. I think he needs to be claimed.”
The second Teddy had his new collar on he bounded over to show me. I bent down and took in the soft red leather, and the gold bone-shaped tag that had Teddy engraved in it and the address of the ranch on the back. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat as I stroked my thumb over the metal.
“You didn’t have to do that,” my voice was rough. Goddamn why was I emotional over this?
“I know, but I wanted to say thanks. A lot of people wouldn’t have noticed what happened last night. You didn’t have to look after me and you did. So, thanks.” She spoke softly and smiled at me, and it honestly felt like the first time anyone had ever smiled at me. I nodded in lieu of saying anything and making a fool of myself. I expected her to leave but she lingered and looked around like she didn’t know what to say.
Why wasn’t she leaving? Our conversation was done. Back to regularly scheduled avoidance of each other.
But she didn’t go. Did she want to be here? Talking to me?
She tucked her hands in the pockets of her shorts. “Fixing stuff?” She huffed to herself and shook her head afterwards. “Obviously,” she muttered under her breath, but I heard her and tried not to laugh.
“Uh yeah. I thought I’d do the cabin up now that I’ve got a little bit of money. I read a lot of books while I was in…yeah and I really liked the sound of woodwork. Crafting something with your bare hands, felt like a good outlet.”
Her eyes dropped to my hands, and she cleared her throat, nodding. “What you gonna make?”
I glanced back at the cabin. “Well, you’ve seen my huge selection of furniture, I don’t have much room for anything else,” I joked and she snorted adorably. “I thought I’d try my hand at a dresser after I fix this porch.”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh yeah? Any design in mind?”
I winced. “I hadn’t gotten that far. I was just gonna start cutting and see what happened.”
“A man with a plan, I like it,” she mused, folding her arms over her chest and pushing her breasts up. I tried to keep my eyes off them, I really did. I’d been so good at not staring at certain parts of her anatomy, but I was a weak man at the end of the day. My eyes slipped briefly before flicking away.
We both saw it.
We both knew it happened and then just stood there in the awkwardness of it.
“I’m sor—”
“I’ll see you Monday morning,” she interrupted and turned, heading back to the house.
“Idiot,” I chastised myself when she was out of view. “ Why can’t I be normal?” I asked Teddy who lay at my feet, staring up at me and panting with a big smile on his face. “That collar looks good on you, boy,” I said, and he barked at me.
I turned back to the porch and when I hammered too hard and put a hole in the bottom of it, I decided to take a break. My first attempt was enough for now. Besides no one was good at something on their first try.
All evening through my shift at the bar my thoughts plagued me, thinking about Kat and the closeness I’d felt between us. That she’d bought my dog a collar and come to give it to me. That she clearly wanted to talk until I ruined the moment. Every time the door to the bar opened I looked up, hoping to see her but she didn’t come in.
When I made it back to the ranch in the early hours—who knew Sunday was such a popular night at the bar—I couldn’t help but stare up at the windows of the house, hoping for a glimpse at Kat. The room was dark, she was nowhere to be seen and disappointment rocked me.
Dodging the dodging the porch hole I needed to fix, I let myself into the cabin. Pride bolstered me when the door didn’t creak as it opened, ecstatic with the results of my first project.
I showered, walking around in just my boxers, thinking no one would see me this late. I quickly grabbed something to eat and stood inspecting the fireplace.
Then I felt it.
Those telltale prickles on the back of my neck that had goosebumps spreading over my flesh. I knew what it meant.
It was her.
I looked out the cabin window towards Charlie’s office, where I’d seen her so many times before. It was pitch black, no light on inside but I knew. I knew she was there.
Stepping closer to the window, I took a bite of the apple, swiping my tongue across my lip to catch a drop of juice. Almost like I could feel her eyes on my mouth, my dick hardened in my boxers. I couldn’t see her but I knew she was watching. I wanted her to watch me. I wanted to see her. I wanted to know if she felt this pull between us too. This pull that was surely headed for disaster.
Maybe she didn’t care, just like I didn’t. But there was a reason she did it in the darkness. She didn’t want to admit to this, whatever this was. That was fine with me, I’d take her stares any way I could get them.
I finished my apple, staring out into the dark but knowing I was looking at her. Then I nodded once, goodnight, and went to bed.