CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Katarina
I woke up Monday morning rejuvenated .
Not just from the sleep and orgasms Jack provided. But I felt like I had turned a corner with the ranch. Jack had helped me uncover what my block was. Now I just needed to figure out how to move past it. I knew it wouldn’t happen overnight but now that I recognized it, I could fix it.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and waved Tilly off to school. She was still sulking and mad at me for imposing a curfew on her, but she’d get over it. Daisy also avoided me like she was still pissed over the other morning when really, I felt like I was the one who should be pissed.
Jack came to the door, looking gorgeous in his denim jeans and blue lumberjack shirt that made his eyes shine even brighter. His boots though, looked like they were getting worse by the day. I opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind me.
“God, it kills me not to kiss you good morning,” he murmured, his eyes filled with longing.
“It kills me too when you show up here looking like that.” I ran my eyes over him, lingering here and there.
He glanced down at himself. “I’m fully clothed?”
“I don’t know who you’re fooling dressing like that, it’s like you want me to throw myself at you.”
He groaned. “Don’t talk like that, please.”
I laughed. “I’m not the one out here dressed like I’m just asking for it.”
His eyes widened. “Are you for real? It’s a lumberjack shirt?”
“You know exactly what you’re doing,” I teased.
He laughed and shook his head, blushing adorably. “I have somewhere I need to go and I kinda need you to take me, if that’s okay?”
The uncertainty in his eyes as he asked me for a favor nearly ruined me. “Of course, when do you need to go?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Not until this afternoon. So, where do you want me today?”
“I need you to take the lead as I’ve got some work to do in the office. There’s not a huge amount to do, just sorting out the horses and checking on the cattle, making sure that asshole bison hasn’t done any more damage to our fences.”
He shook his head, smiling softly. “I feel like you need to let it go. Bert didn’t mean anything by it.”
I jabbed my finger at Jack. “He did, and he knows he did. You’ll see. Anyway, is that okay? ”
“Of course, go kick some business ass,” he cheered.
I laughed and shook my head, winking at him before I headed back into the house. I went into the kitchen to top up my coffee and found Daisy, Maddy and August huddled together whispering and when they saw me, they hushed.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
Daisy glared at me and flounced out of the room.
“What is with her these days?” I asked, jerking my thumb in the direction she’d left. It couldn’t be about Jack surely, or maybe it was. That nagging feeling pricked at me again. What were we doing with our relationship, situationship, whatever-ship it was.
“She’s just cranky as usual,” August said and then left, dragging Maddy out with her.
“Got another shift, see ya!” Maddy called over her shoulder.
I shook my head and refilled my cup before shutting myself in Daddy’s office. I sat down in the chair, surveying the desk and papers that I’d semi tidied. Instead of dread, this time I felt empowered. “It’s my turn now, Daddy. Hopefully you’ll still find a way to show me the ropes.”
*
“You love going for a drive, don’t you?” I asked, glancing over at Jack. His eyes were closed in bliss as the breeze came in through the open window of the truck. The afternoon sun bathed him in a warm glow, highlighting the gold streaks in his brown hair. He looked like he was in his element.
He nodded, eyes remaining shut. “I do. I just can’t do it anymore.”
I flicked my eyes over to him again before turning them back on the road. “I’m sorry.”
Apprehension emanated from him, rolling over us both. “Why are you sorry?”
“Because you’ve had something you loved taken away from you too,” I spoke softly, almost afraid to voice the words.
The more time I’d spent with Jack, the more I’d come to see the man he was. His entire family had abandoned him, he’d been incarcerated for almost all his young life, and was only just tasting freedom now. He paused to enjoy the little things and did so much for other people. I watched him with the girls, spending time with Tilly and watching silly videos, talking to August about her books, trying to win Daisy over, and interrogating Maddy about her job and Leo.
He was a good man. I know what he did but now I was starting to see it the way my father had; he was a kid who made a mistake. Sure, it was a big one but he paid the price. And he kept paying it.
“Just over here, on the right,” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I pulled the truck over, parking in front of a row of storefronts.
“What are we doing here?” I asked, getting out of the truck and coming over to him. He stepped up onto the porch, pausing in front of Larry’s Leathers.
“I thought we could look for some boots for Tilly,” he said, taking my hand and pulling me inside the store.
I paused over the sweetness. He knew I was concerned about it and was trying to help me any way he could. “But I’ve already looked in here,” I sputtered, stepping through the door, a bell tinkling and signaling our arrival.
“Yeah, but you’ve not looked with me .” He waggled his eyebrows and I tried not to smirk. “Also, I need some myself.” He lifted a foot and wiggled it, the sole of his boot flapping. I snorted and pushed him away, but he gripped my hand tight, pulling me past the rows of chaps, jackets, and hats to the boots section.
“What about these?” he asked, pointing to a pair of black cowgirl boots with a pink flourish stitched into the leather. They were lovely but they weren’t Tilly. I opened my mouth to answer when Larry, the owner came from out the back, rushing towards us.
“Hello Katarina, back again! I was jus—” he broke off when he saw Jack. His demeanor changed, his expression shuttered and lips pursed in disapproval when he spotted our hands linked. “I see you’ve brought a friend.”
“Hi Larry, yes we thought we’d try again for some boots for Tilly, and Jack needs some too.”
Larry’s stare roved over Jack, his lip curling. “I’m happy to help out with young Tilly’s boots.”
When he didn’t say anymore I reiterated, “And some for Jack.”
“I don’t think we have any boots suitable for him,” Larry said sharply.
I frowned, looking around. “Are you kidding, there’s hundreds of boots here.”
“And I don’t believe any of them will fit him. ”
Jack’s grip tightened in my hand and he stiffened next to me. I assessed the way Larry was staring at him, anger and disdain pulsing from the old man. He had known my mother; she had come in here all the time to get things for us. I guess he’d not forgotten what had happened and who was responsible like I had. I glanced at Jack who refused to meet my eyes and decided it was about time someone started showing up for him.
“Then I guess we don’t need anything from here,” I announced, my voice wavering.
Jack tugged my arm. “It’s fine Kat, I’ll wait outside.”
I spun to face him, the look of defeat on his face devastating me.
“No.” I turned back to Larry. “Have the day you deserve!” I said and spun on my heel, marching out of the store, dragging Jack behind me. I muttered all sorts of insults under my breath about Larry as I got into the truck and it wasn’t until I realized Jack was still on the sidewalk that I stopped.
I rolled down the window. “What are you doing?”
His hands were tucked into the pockets of his jeans, his biceps flexing from clenching his fists. “I think I’ll walk back to the ranch. That way no one will see us together.”
Anger flared in me. “Get in the truck, Jack, we’re not going back to the ranch.”
“Kat, it’s fine. I get it, you don’t need to be seen with me and—”
“Get in the damn truck, Jack,” I insisted. With a sigh, he did as he was told, my lip quirked up. “Good boy.”
“Jesus, Kat,” he groaned, clicking his seatbelt in.
I reversed out onto the main road and headed out of town. We rode in silence but it wasn’t the blissful silence from only ten minutes earlier.
“Where are we going?”
“Next town over to look at the boot store there. I’m not giving Larry our hard-earned money, even if it is tradition to get the boots from him.”
“Kat, no. Come on, don’t break tradition for me. Just go back and look at boots for Tilly. I’ll wait in the truck.”
I didn’t reply, just kept driving and I could tell he wanted to protest but he didn’t say anything more. The drive was about thirty minutes and when we were almost there, I turned to him. “Is it always like that?”
He didn’t look at me, just stared out the window and I looked back to the road. “Yep.”
“I’m sorry you’re treated like that.”
He turned to me, his expression fierce. “Do not apologize to me, Kat.”
I took his hand and brought his knuckles to my lips and then placed his hand on my thigh for the rest of the journey. I pulled off the highway and drove through the sleepy town of Haven, our closest neighbors. I didn’t come here often, only when I couldn’t get something in our town, and it was a nice change of scenery. The layout was similar to Reverence, same strip through the middle of town where all the stores and bars were.
I pulled up outside Carl’s Leather Goods Store and Jack followed me silently as we headed towards the building that looked exactly the same as Larry’s Leathers. Another bell tinkled as we entered. We must have looked a real pair, both trudging in with sour pusses and a tension between us that was palpable.
“Well, it’s not everyday I seen a fine-looking couple like you in my store.” An elderly man with a paunch and Stetson came over. “I’m Carl, nice to meet you.”
I found myself smiling, tension easing. “Nice to meet you too, Carl. I’m Kat and this is Jack,” I pointed at the grumpy man beside me. “We’re looking for some boots for him and while you two gentlemen get to know each other, I’ll browse the ladies’.”
I abandoned Jack, knowing that if I was still around he wouldn’t shake off his funk. He needed someone like Carl to tease him out of it. I peeked at them over a row of boots I was browsing and watched as Carl held out a couple of types of boots to Jack and they talked about styles. After a moment, I heard Carl’s loud guffaw and looked up to find Jack smiling while Carl dropped a matching black Stetson on his head. Damn he looked good dressed up like a cowboy.
I rummaged through the ladies’ boots and although there were some great options, I just couldn’t find what I was looking for.
Eventually I gave up and went back to Jack and Carl to find that Carl had talked Jack into buying a hat and two pairs of boots. A nice, sturdy black pair and a deep brown pair.
“For dancing,” Carl winked at me, and I giggled.
“You find what you needed for Tills?” Jack asked softly, placing a hand on my lower back as we stood at the cash register.
I shook my head. “Some nice ones but not the boots.”
“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he said, leaning forward and dropping a kiss on my head. I closed my eyes, tilting my head up into his lips. As we were leaving the store, Jack paused by the window display.
“Did you see these?” He pointed at a pair of boots in the window. “You think Tilly would like these?”
I looked down and saw a pair of powder blue boots with a white chunky heel and white stitching up the calves. I tried to keep the smile from my face. “Do you think she would like these?” I asked, knowing full well they were damn near perfect.
He scrubbed the back of his neck. “I think so. I mean, as soon as I saw ‘em I thought…they’re cute but not too girly, like Tilly.”
I eyed him and a flush spread over his cheeks and neck. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“If you think she won’t like them we’ll keep looking,” he rushed out.
“No, I think you’re right. They’re perfect for Tilly.” I leaned over and grabbed them, inspecting them and checking the size. It must have been fate because they were a size six, perfect for Tilly’s little feet. “Great find, Jack.”
Jack smiled adorably, glowing under the praise and mumbled something I couldn’t quite make out. I paid for the boots and grabbed Jack’s hand, tugging him outside.
I stored our purchases in the truck and then dragged him down to the ice cream parlor a few stores down. That was one thing our little town was missing that Haven had, a damn good ice cream parlor. Gertie made the best ice cream and I took out my phone and snapped a picture of the store front and sent it to her with a wish you were here caption. I’d barely heard from her recently and missed her so much.
I bought a couple of ice cream cones. Predictably, Jack protested but I insisted as a way to say thank you. I wouldn’t have spotted those boots if it wasn’t for him. We sat on a little bench that faced the road and watched the slow traffic.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?” I asked.
Jack swiped his tongue over his triple chocolate swirl and I fought to keep the filthy images from my mind of what that tongue could do. “I didn’t really want to do anything except get away from my folks.”
“What were they like?”
He shrugged, biting into the cone. “Drunk, angry, young. And disappointed in me. Nothing at all like Charlie was, or how I imagine Sherry would have been.”
When he mentioned my mom’s name, it didn’t hurt. I just became sad that Jack had never known a loving family the way we had. “I’m sorry they were like that. You must have had a tough upbringing.”
He shrugged again. “No tougher than anyone else.”
I squinted at him in the late afternoon sun. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“You diminish your struggles.”
He was silent for a while. “I guess I don’t want to focus on them. I just want to focus on the future which is so damn bright, I have to shield my eyes. Why would I want to look back at the dismal gray of my past?”
“It’s bright, huh?” I smiled at him.
He looked at me, really looked at me. “It sure is.” He smiled and then stole an ice-cold kiss from me.
We finished our ice cream and headed back to the truck and drove home in silence, our hands clasped on the arm rest between us, and Jack back to his blissful state.
We’d had an afternoon out from the ranch together and although it got off to a rocky start, it had been so wholesome that I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t picturing how it could always be like this.