Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
JAYSON
Into The Deep End
The name Marshall pulses through my brain like a war drum, each beat dredging up things I wish to hell I could bury.
Dropping his hand like it burned me, I don’t just stand—I vault to my feet, towering over him by a good two inches.
My fists ache from how hard I’m clenching them, my body coiled for whatever he wants to bring.
If he swings first, I’ll drop him to the damn ground.
“If you came out here to pick a fight, it’s not going to happen.”
I won’t let some twenty-year-old grudge over his shitty brother ruin Liz’s party. Marshall was an asshole of the lowest form. He bullied Elijah, hurt Julien, terrorized Liz, then tried to kill her by pushing her in front of a moving car. I’m glad the bastard is dead.
Austin gets in my way when I try to leave. The gall of this motherfucker. I haven’t fought anyone in over three years, but I’ll happily break that streak if he doesn’t move.
Austin holds up his hands in front of him in a sign of supplication. “I didn’t come out here to fight. I wanted to look you in the eye and apologize.”
The words stop me cold because it’s the furthest thing from what I expected. He sounds and looks like he means it. But that doesn’t make any goddamn sense.
A dry, humorless chuckle escapes. “You think apologizing for what your brother did is going to erase all the pain he inflicted? You think a fucking sorry is going to make the scar on my brother’s leg disappear or make Elijah forget every black eye or beatdown he got from that bigoted asshole?
He—” My throat tightens, rage mixing with something uglier, and I take a menacing step closer.
“He tried to kill Liz. I was there. I saw everything.”
Austin flinches, not some small shift but a full-body reaction, like every word I hurl at him hits him like a physical blow.
“I know what he did,” he replies unsteadily, his voice cracking at the edges. “There is no forgiveness for any of it.”
Laughter drifts from the backyard along with the scent of charcoal and sizzling meat on the grill, but out here on the porch, it’s just me, Austin, and the weight of the past that neither of us can flee.
“You’re damn straight about that,” I reply, trying hard to keep my voice down.
Austin’s jaw tightens, and for the first time, I see something in his eyes that isn’t just guilt.
It’s pain. The kind that festers and doesn’t heal right.
He drags a hand through his hair, eyes burning ominously with something dangerously close to the fury simmering under my skin.
“You think having him as a brother was a privilege? You think I like being compared to him every goddamn day? I spent my entire life trying to prove I wasn’t him.
I couldn’t stop him. I was a kid. And by the time I was old enough to stand up to him, it was too late.
Julien, Elijah, and Elizabeth weren’t the only people he victimized.
Try living under the same roof. I got it daily. ”
Austin stares me down, imploring me to see the truth. To see him and not his brother. He offers me his hand again. I think about Liz, about how her heart always forgives, and all the times she’s given me a second chance. How our past shouldn’t define who we are now.
The wind shifts, cool air sweeping in, making the porch swing chains clink like wind chimes. And then, against every instinct screaming at me to hold onto my hatred, I take Austin’s hand.
“I just wanted—I need you to know that I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” The porch light accentuates every fracture in his haunted expression, but the emotion that shows the loudest is regret.
Austin shouldn’t have to carry the stigma his brother left behind.
“Thank you,” I tell him. Our handshake is brief but meaningful.
“Other way around,” he replies.
The front door swings open. “There you are. I was wondering where you—” Trevor sees me and immediately steps in front of Austin.
This night just keeps getting better. Of course, Trevor would be here. I have a feeling tonight is going to be an endless merry-go-round of people who hate my guts.
“Jayson.” He doesn’t offer me his hand like Austin did.
“Trevor.” So this must be the Trev who Austin was referring to.
Austin breaks the tension when he hooks Trevor around the waist and hauls him in for a quick kiss. “Chill, babe. All’s good.”
At that moment I see the rings on their left hands.
Austin notices me looking and beams a smile at Trevor. “Recently engaged. We were going to announce it to everyone tonight. It’s been torture hiding my hands in my pockets. Makes giving hugs awkward as hell.”
“Congratulations.” And I mean it.
The ice on Trevor’s face thaws. “Everyone’s out back.” His not-so-subtle way of telling me to get my ass into gear and join the party.
Entering the house, my head rotates on an axis as I look around. It’s exactly how I pictured it. Warm, homey, and welcoming. I smile when I count all the bowls of magnolia flowers Liz has placed on various surfaces. It’s so like her.
When we get to the kitchen, the overlapping sounds of conversation spill inside when Trevor and Austin head out the back door, just as Marcus comes in. The other day when he and I talked, we left things in a good place…I hope.
“Point me to where Liz keeps her mason jars.”
Marcus gives me a quizzical eyebrow arch. “How did you know Mom collects mason jars?”
She did it when we were kids. She would collect things she would find in the forest. I filled a jar full of paper stars for her on Valentine’s Day. I wonder if she still has it.
I hold up the bouquet of flowers from Mom. “Compliments of Freda. They’re starting to wilt.”
He opens a top cabinet above the double oven. Inside are rows of empty glass jars. Taking one down, he passes it to me, and I fill it with water, then drop the stems in and set it on the counter island.
Marcus grabs a platter of pre-formed hamburger patties from the refrigerator. “Mom’s kind of throwing you in the deep end tonight, huh?”
Not the deep end of a pool but smack in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean is more like it.
“She’d say it was a form of tough love.”
He chuckles. “One of her specialties.” Bumping the door open with his foot, he nods his head in the direction of the backyard. “Ready to face the wolves?”
“When you put it that way, not really.” But I follow him outside, nonetheless.
My nephews, Charlotte, and Christopher are hunkered around the firepit, roasting marshmallows.
More people are scattered around the backyard, talking and laughing, most of them I don’t know.
I search the throngs of faces for Liz, and a flash of long blonde hair has my gaze stumbling to a standstill.
There she is.
Jesus fucking Christ . Every time I see her is like being hit with a wrecking ball. She’s wearing one of those off-the-shoulder summer blouses that accentuates her curvy figure, and her legs look a mile long in cut-off jean shorts.
Without my permission, my footsteps carry me over to where she’s helping Marcus at the grill.
When I get closer, her body language changes as if she’s aware of my presence and somehow senses me.
Liz slowly turns around, and those goddamn green eyes of hers light up.
Those eyes have haunted my entire life since I was six years old.
“I’m so glad you came.” With a dazzling smile, she jumps into my arms and hugs the shit out of me, her happy welcome putting me at ease.
“Did I have a choice?”
She laughs. “Why do you think I made sure Julien insisted that you ride with them?”
“Told you. Deep end,” Marcus says, and Liz gives him a scathing look.
“Go see if Daniel or Drew need anything.”
I haven’t seen them since the last time I was in Seattle with Liz. I scan the backyard and find the two men sitting in lawn chairs at the firepit.
“Just did,” Marcus replies.
“Then go help your brother.”
“He doesn’t need my help roasting marshmallows.”
“Then go make out with Hannah. She wore that tight blue dress tonight for a reason.”
Marcus’s face flames a deep red. “Jesus, Mom.”
Liz chuckles when he stalks off. “One of the joys of being a parent is to embarrass the crap out of your kids.”
“I wouldn’t know,” slips out before I can stop it.
Liz takes my hand, her touch warm and reassuring. “I have faith that you’ll be able to mend your relationship with Bethany.”
Not if my ex-wife has anything to say about it.
“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” I reply and immediately change the subject. “I, uh, met Austin on my way in.”
The apples of Liz’s cheeks flush with guilt, and she tries to hide it by biting her bottom lip and dipping her chin. “About that.”
“It’s all good, Princess. But a heads-up would’ve been appreciated.” I lightly bump her shoulder, and she retaliates with a playful side swipe of the hip.
“I thought you wouldn’t come tonight if I told you.”
“I would’ve come because you asked me to. What do you always say about choices?”
Her beautiful face doubles down from guilty to chastised. “Fair point. I’m sorry if you felt ambushed.”
I hold my thumb and forefinger an inch apart, and she hides her mortification in the sleeve of my shoulder.
“Okay, I feel thoroughly guilt-tripped now.”
“Austin is a nice guy. The Trevor thing threw me, though. Didn’t he date that girl, Meredith, in college?”
The two things I remember about her are that she had the energy of a squirrel on stimulants, and she talked. A lot.
“Trevor and Austin are both bi. And Meredith says hi, by the way.”
“You still speak with her?”
“Practically joined at the hip since college. She and her husband, Bryce, live in Fuquay. They couldn’t come tonight.”
Liz laughs at the relief I must show. Meredith plus the migraine I’m trying to keep at bay would not be a good mix.
I glance over in Austin and Trevor’s direction as they talk to Julien and Elijah and… holy shit . “Is that JD Hallstead?”
Liz peers over at the man I’m gawking at. “Yeah. He’s married to Aurora. Come on. I’ll introduce you.” Her fingers fist the front of my shirt, and I’m given no choice but to follow.
My pulse kicks up as Liz leads me across the yard, weaving through clusters of people chatting over drinks and paper plates stacked with grilled corn and hamburgers.
I can’t believe I’m about to meet the JD Hallstead.
JD is a football legend. The quarterback who had turned the league on its head and stunned the sports world when he retired out of the blue and walked away from a multi-million-dollar career to work at some nonprofit youth center in Highland.
Just a few feet away, I can see why JD had been a force on the field. Broad shoulders, powerful stance, and the gilded confidence that someone of his stature carries around with ease.
Julien spots us first, his eyes questioning, and I give him an imperceptible nod that I’m okay. I love my brother, but he and Mom have been hovering, and it’s driving me a little crazy.
“JD, meet Jayson. Huge fan,” Liz expounds with excited hand gestures, taking delight in throwing me under the bus.
I ignore the twist in my stomach and try not to act like an obsessed fanboy. “It’s an honor to meet you, man.”
JD’s grip is firm. “Good to meet you, too.”
The woman next to him must be Aurora, and my stomach doesn’t twist—it drops. She is almost the spitting image of Fallon. Same facial features, pale-blue eyes, and blonde hair. Another sibling? How many does that guy have?
“This is my wife, Aurora,” JD says.
Her mouth thins into a grim line when I give her a polite “hello” in greeting. With folded arms, her glacial gaze studies me. I’ve just been assessed, and not in a nice way.
Liz prods her with an elbow.
“What?” Aurora says.
“So, what do you do?” JD asks, breaking the tension by trying to make small talk.
I clear my throat. “Nothing at the moment. I used to work in construction. Taking some time off.”
Liz shifts, pressing close, like she’s trying to shield me from some unknown danger lurking close by. I hadn’t noticed that everyone around us had gone silent. It’s the kind of quiet that is deafening.
My gaze flicks upward, and Fallon’s entire countenance hardens when our eyes meet. Had he been standing there the entire time?
He makes a point of moving right behind Liz and skimming his hand down her hair, his touch intimate and possessive.
He basically just pissed a figurative circle around her, marking his territory.
Liz wouldn’t give me a straight answer when I asked her if she and Fallon were together, even though Fallon insinuated as much at the bar.
Now I know for sure, and it makes what I need to tell her that much more important.
As much as it kills me, I can’t blame her for moving on. Julien told me how bad things got after Ry died. But fuck, did it have to be with him ?
I should have come. I should have been here for her.
Screw my sobriety. Ry needed me. Liz needed me.
But what good would I have been for either of them when I was barely able to function on a good day?
Liz didn’t need the added responsibility of babysitting my drunk ass when she was fighting for Ry’s life.
Liz bewilders the hell out of me when she turns around and purses her fingers between her lips, releasing a shrill whistle that gets everyone’s attention.
“Hi, everybody, and thank you so much for coming tonight to welcome Daniel and Drew home. You know I love all of you. However, I’m only going to say this one time because I despise pretending that there isn’t an enormous elephant in the room.
Tonight is about family, and Jayson is part of my family.
He’s here because I want him here. If you have a problem with it, then I kindly ask that you leave.
Don’t forget to take some food with you.
I don’t have the fridge space for leftovers. ”
I’m as dumbfounded by her unexpected announcement as everyone else looks.
“I literally didn’t say a word,” Aurora mumbles under her breath.
“Baby, read the room,” JD tells her, miming zipping his lips closed.
Liz’s face is full of defiance when she pivots around. “Ask me to dance.”
Caught off guard, I sputter, “Huh?”
“Ask me to dance.”
If looks could kill, Fallon just murdered me painfully and in a thousand inventive ways. “Kitten, what are you?—”
“Doing?” she says, finishing his query. “I’m going to dance with Jayson. After that, who the hell knows? Maybe eat an apple turnover.”
Julien masks his amused smirk behind his hand as Liz drags me away.
What just happened?