Chapter 2
Chapter
Two
R am could clearly see shit had hit the fan as he entered Clairvoyant Sight Investigations. The office was in an uproar, everyone was hunkered down at their desks looking around with shifty scared eyes and he had no trouble being able to tell why. When the angry roar came from Kade’s office followed by a loud crash everyone jumped but didn’t move from their seats. He sighed and went up to the receptionist desk.
“Hello, how may I help you?” she asked quietly, her voice held some hesitation but was polite.
“I need to see Kade,” he answered, doing his best not to snap at the woman. They were acting like Kade was a fucking monster when the man was clearly in pain and it made him want to beat some sense into them.
“Um… I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s not in a place to be able to see visitors at the moment… If you would like, I can give him a message for you.” She pulled a stack of sticky notes close and looked at him expectantly.
Ram sighed. “I appreciate that but I really do need to see him. I’m the vet that has been looking after Valk and the sooner I can get him back to work, the easier Kade will be to deal with.”
She nodded like a bobblehead, her blonde hair flopping back and forth. “Yes sir, his office is over there… just be careful, sir.”
Ram nodded, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the woman. He did heed her advice and opened the door slowly just in case Kade was still tearing apart his office.
“I said I wanted to be left alone!” Kade roared when his door opened. His staff was getting on his nerves, unable to do the simplest tasks. They’d been bothering him left and right over the stupidest things they should have been able to figure out on their own. It was their fucking job.
“So I was told, I didn’t listen,” Ram stated nonchalantly. He wasn’t scared of Kade, but he was scared for the man who looked like he was one hit away from crumbling. Kade’s eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, his face was red like he’d raked his fingers down it. His hair and his clothes were rumpled and in a complete disarray, but it was the gut wrenching pain in those milky eyes that bothered him the most.
That deep voice made him pause. “Why are you here?” Kade demanded. He didn’t want to see anyone. He wanted to be alone. He just wanted it all to stop.
Ram sighed. “Gee Kade I don’t know, probably because you were gone when I woke up this morning and I wanted to know if Valk had any other symptoms while you were getting ready this morning.”
“Did you bring him?” Kade walked easily around his desk towards Ram but didn’t hear any indication that Valk was there. He wanted to see his baby. Valk made it easier to breathe.
“No I didn’t, Saint is watching over him. He’s still slow and easily tires but he seems to be on the mend.” Ram studied Kade as he spoke, he was pale making the dark circles under his eyes that much more noticeable. Kade gripped the side of his desk so hard his fingers went white and they ached bone deep.
“He’s fine.” Ram rushed to say seeing Kade had gone pale. “He was sleeping peacefully when I left him.” He needed to remember not to kill the man with suspense.
Relief swamped Kade making his head spin. “Good.” Was all he could get out past the lump in his throat. He had no idea what he would do if he lost the only thing that made this life somewhat bearable.
“You shouldn’t be working,” Ram said, he ached with the need to care for this damaged man. To at least hold him until he could get his feet back on solid ground.
Kade’s head shot up, ready to tear into the man. He’d had enough of people telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing.
“It’s not an insult, Kade, settle down. I just meant you’re exhausted, probably more so than you realize.” Ram had to count on every bit of patience he had not to go to the man and pull him into his arms.
“I’m fine,” Kade replied, almost robotically.
Ram sighed. “Of course you are.” His voice was thick with sarcasm. “You need to go out Kade, relax, go dancing, get laid, take a fucking break.”
Kade snorted. “Yes, because it’s so easy for me to go out and get laid.” He waved a hand in the general direction of his face.
“All you had to do was say something, I know several people who would line up for the chance to get a piece of you. I work part time at Cathartic Release. They would fucking love you there.”
Kade knew that was the kink club that was making waves in Anthem River. He couldn’t even form a reply, he was so shocked. He had no idea Ram was into that type of thing but in reality it shouldn’t be a surprise, the man was bossy as fuck. He also seemed to take an interest in Kade as someone he could boss around.
Ram hated the idea of someone else touching Kade when he wanted the man so desperately, but he needed the release.
“No, thank you,” Kade muttered. “I was never one for hookups to begin with, and I don’t trust anyone enough to get that intimate with at this point in my life.”
“Really? What about Saint or Torres?” Ram asked, confused.
Kade scoffed. “God no, they are like brothers to me, it would be too weird.” He sank into his chair, exhaustion starting to hit hard. He was so fucking tired.
“I’m sorry I just assumed.” Ram moved closer, unable to help himself. The man’s pain was like a beacon for his Daddy side.
Kade shrugged. “They all do.” He grunted as he shifted, his whole body ached on top of being exhausted. It was a never-ending cycle.
“You need the release, Kade. It will help you, it’ll help with your mood, sleep and could even help with your pain,” Ram assured him. He was afraid one day soon that the man would snap and then shit would go downhill fast.
“No,” Kade barked, the slippery control he had on his emotions failing as he jumped to his feet. “I am so fucking tired of everyone telling me what I need.”
“I’m just trying to help Kade,” Ram said, keeping his voice soft and tender. He knew a lost boy when he saw one. Someone hanging on the edge of a cliff begging someone to pull him back to safety.
“Boss!” Torres barked from the doorway. “I have sent all your employees home since you can’t seem to get a hold of yourself today, go the fuck home and let me have some goddamn peace,” he hissed before slamming the door as he left.
Kade winced, he hated pissing Torres off and he knew he’d get an earful later. He should have fucking stayed home.
“Sorry if I overstepped,” Ram said softly.
Kade could hear the walls sliding back into place in Ram’s demeanor as he spoke. While Ram had pushed, Kade found himself disappointed in the way he reacted. The man had been nothing but nice to him, while he was bossy as fuck he’d only ever tried to help. “No, I am sorry for snapping at you. I was never really into sex so it’s not a big deal for me to go without.” He blinked rapidly to stave off the tears that wanted to fall.
Ram cocked his head as he studied Kade. “Never into it huh?”
Kade smirked. “No, Devin was the only person I’ve ever been with, and I only had sex with him when he would get pissed because I kept saying no.” He had no idea why he was telling the man this, but Ram’s quiet, strong demeanor made him want to confide in the man.
“That’s coercion, a form of rape,” Ram said horrified.
Kade shrugged. “Maybe.” He looked towards his windows to feel the light on his face then remembered he’d shut the blinds. It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve that and more, to be in the dark and to suffer more than he already had. He deserved everything he’d gotten in this life.
“What about masturbation?” Ram asked out of the blue, he was used to having these kinds of conversations everyday, and Kade resembled a fish out of water with his response.
“What?” Kade asked, dazed. The man never seemed to fail to shock the shit out of him with the crap that came out of his mouth.
Ram chuckled. “Sorry I was just curious as to how you get your rocks off if you don’t have sex.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’ve been having sex almost everyday since I was sixteen and went on Rumspringa.”
“So basically you’re a whore?” Kade grinned to let him know he was kidding, and his insides went gooey as he listened to that deep laugh. He had to suck in a deep breath to keep himself calm, when Ram was around he sometimes forgot he felt like he was dying.
“Yeah, I guess so. It makes me feel good but I can live without it,” Ram said through his chuckles.
“Really?” Kade asked skeptically because that didn’t sound like something he could have for so long and then just stop cold turkey.
Ram snorted. “Yeah, I thought the same thing, but I haven’t slept with anyone since I met you.”
Kade froze. “That was over a year ago.”
“Fifteen months, three weeks and six days but who’s counting?” Ram laughed humorlessly.
“Why?” Kade demanded. “If it’s something you love that much why stop?” If it was something that helped the man get through his days, why would he stop?
This is where things got dicey. Ram didn’t want to outright lie to Kade but he also didn’t want to tell him the whole truth. He was damn near obsessed with the damaged man in front of him, currently looking at him like he was some kind of science experiment.
“I was interested in someone for a while, then I just had no desire to jump back into things so to speak. I still go to the club and will do a demo if needed by my boss, or if a sub asks me to showcase a specific talent, but I don’t penetrate anyone,” he said nonchalantly. He had spent many years uncomfortable with his body and sexual orientation and he had come so far as to not be bothered by these conversations, but he had to admit he was more deadpan than normal just so he could see Kade’s reactions to his words.
Kade got stuck on one part. “You’re interested in someone that made you give up something you love?” While he didn’t know much about relationships, and he wasn’t one to share, it seemed weird Ram would only go for one person if he has that much sex.
“They didn’t make me do anything, it was my choice. If I wanted something serious with him then I needed to act like I was serious about wanting him. That he wasn’t just another notch on my belt.”
“Makes sense,” Kade mumbled as he tried to process the information. “You belong to a club?” He was still in shock over that.
“Yes, I am one of the Dom’s there,” Ram replied.
“So, you’re a top, could’ve figured that.” Kade settled back into his chair, his body aching something fierce. Ram had the ‘bossy as fuck’ down to an art.
Ram snorted. “Is that a question or a statement?”
Kade cocked his head, as he tried to think. His mind was getting a little fuzzy. “Both, I guess, all I know is that the Dom is in control.”
Oh this precious baby , Ram thought. “The sub has all the power.” Shocked hazy eyes looked his way.
“Bullshit,” Kade said like he knew Ram was lying.
“No, not bullshit. I mean it.” Ram sat in the chair facing Kade’s desk.
“Explain,” Kade demanded. He had no idea if he would even remember most of this conversation but Ram had to be fucking lying.
“The dynamic between each submissive and dominant is different, but the sub has safe words, say I was in a scene with you.” Ram had to pause to get his dick to settle down. “We would go over hard limits, things you won’t do…”
“Being tied down,” Kade said softly.
“With that being a hard limit it would never happen, mine is being tied down, blindfolded and my hearing being taken away by noise canceling headphones. I can handle all of those just not at the same time,” Ram explained. “I use the traffic light system. Green for good, Yellow for slow down and talk, Red to stop.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t do anything with a sub unless they give me their consent, and they can take that consent away at any time and I will respect that.”
Kade nodded trying to process. “So you’re the kind of Dom that likes whips and shit.” Ram’s loud laugh startled him and he jerked, narrowing his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Ram said, still chuckling. “No, I’m not into that. I can give a demo on flogging or spanking but that’s as intense as I get. I’m what’s considered a softer Dom.”
“How so?” Kade asked, curiously. He was definitely fading fast if he was actually asking Ram these questions and not just having a weird as fuck dream.
Ram could see Kade was fighting his exhaustion. “Let me take you home and I’ll tell you.” He really wanted to get the man into bed before he passed out. He could tell just by looking at Kade that he was really struggling, and not just with sleeping. The man’s defeated posture called to him on a primal level.
“One condition.” Kade held up a hand before Ram could reply. “Just a question.”
Ram sighed but gave in. “Shoot.” He would have to take things slow with Kade, if he wanted the man to become his. He couldn’t just bulldoze the man into becoming his, no matter how much that idea appealed to him.
“Who were you interested in and are you still?” Kade asked.
Ram winced, for once grateful Kade couldn’t see him. “Does it matter?” He really hoped it fucking didn’t.
“Yes, because if it’s Doc, you and me are gonna have a talk,” Kade told him firmly. His best friend was trying really hard to get a quiet behemoth to be his, and he didn’t want anything to ruin it for his friend.
“Doc?” Ram asked confused, while the man was attractive he paled in Kade’s presence, besides everyone knew Doc had a thing for Scorpion, and he could see that his quiet friend had a thing for the smaller man.
“Yes, he’s my best friend, I don’t really know if you’re his type but he’s a good man and I only want to see him happy,” Kade grumbled. Doc had tried to shoot his shot a few months back, but had backed out so he wanted his buddy to find happiness.
Ram couldn’t help it, he laughed. Which proved to be the wrong response when Kade jumped to his feet and moved towards him with intent. He almost swallowed his tongue, Kade was hot as fuck when he was mad. Before he could speak he found himself pressed against the wall, a furious Kade growling in his face.
“It’s not a fucking joke. I won’t let you hurt him.” Kade was ready to hurt the man in front of him, Saint be damned, as he slammed Ram into the wall again. He should have known Ram would have something up his sleeve being related to Saint because in the next breath he found their positions reversed.
“It’s not Doc damnit, and I wasn’t laughing at you I was just shocked.” Ram held Kade loosely letting the man know he could get free if he wanted to. He wouldn’t have minded Kade slamming him into a wall under different circumstances. While Kade’s breath hitched he didn’t seem to be panicking.
“Then what the fuck is so funny?” Kade hissed. He had no patience or energy to deal with games at the moment.
Ram didn’t take offense to his tone. “Me and Doc.” He chuckled again. “I won’t lie and say he’s not attractive but he’s not my type. Good man, bad match.”
Kade could feel his brows furrowed in confusion. “Then who? One of my men?”
“No.” Ram shook his head pressing even closer to Kade who didn’t seem to notice.
“Then who?” Kade demanded exasperatedly.
Ram chuckled at his utter lack of patience. “Someone you wouldn’t guess apparently.” He shook his head in amusement.
“Saint! He must know.” Kade winced and knew his face showed shock and probably horror too.
“The fuck… no Kade. Jesus what kind of man do you take me for? My nephew does not know who I want to fuck or be with.” Disgusted with the way the conversation had gone he tried to back away, but Kade’s strong hands on his forearms stopped him.
“I’m sorry that was out of line, I didn’t mean it that way, you just said I’d never guess and your nephew popped into my head as someone who would know. He’s nosy as fuck, he knows everything.” He knew he was babbling but he had to make amends before Ram walked away for good. The man had the uncanny ability to calm him and he didn’t want to lose that.
Ram sighed. “It’s okay. I get it, but to make it clear. No, I am not interested in my nephew knowing anything about my sex life.”
Kade chuckled nervously. “I would hope not.”
Ram smiled. “Let me take you home.” He wondered if Kade realized he was petting Ram’s arms as they stood there.
Kade tsked. “You haven’t told me who yet.” He could feel Ram stiffen from where he was holding him pressed against the wall.
“Let me go,” Ram said softly.
Kade cocked his head, Ram’s voice was thick with unease and a hint of panic. “Why, what did I say?” He was genuinely confused and he couldn’t see Ram to get a read on him. He still didn’t release him but did loosen his hold, and let the man take a slight step back.
“Doesn’t matter,” Ram mumbled, unable to push Kade away. He loved the man in his space.
“Yes it does, it seems important if you gave up something you loved for them,” Kade said reasonably.
Ram grumbled, a flash of anger rolling through him before he took a deep breath. He didn’t appreciate the interrogation. He understood where Kade was coming from but the man didn’t like to be pushed so he shouldn't be pushing others. He shrugged. “Well he doesn’t really care for sex so I wouldn't imagine we’d be having it a lot anyway.”
Kade’s brows furrowed in confusion then it hit him. “Oh.” Was all he could get past the lump that was now lodged in his throat. Ram wanted him? Him? Was the man insane? Did he not know how fucked up he was? Was he serious or just horny?
Ram grunted, disappointment making his chest tight. “See, doesn’t matter.”
“N… no that’s not what I… I’m sorry, I’m just shocked I guess.” Kade hurried to explain, the thought of this powerful man wanting someone as damaged as him didn’t make any sense.
“Why? You think it’s surprising someone could be attracted to you? Or that it’s me who’s attracted?” Ram could see Kade flinch at his harshly spoken words.
“Both honestly, and I don’t mean to insult you but I just don’t understand.” Kade’s breath caught, he really hadn’t meant to insult Ram. The thought alone that he could have made his body break out in a cold sweat.
“What, that I want you?” Ram moved closer again letting Kade lean into the wall for support. “Let me take you home then we can talk, okay? I can see you’re exhausted and probably have a migraine.”
Kade snorted. “Yes, Daddy,” he said mockingly, until he felt Ram grow harder against his thigh.
“Fuck, Kade.” Ram groaned at those words he so desperately wanted to hear. Even though Kade was joking they had set his body on fire.
Kade froze at the raspy growl. So many sensations overwhelmed him. His skin felt too tight, his body was buzzing in a way he’d never felt before, with electricity, his stomach felt like it was full of fire, and he wanted nothing more in that moment than to taste Ram fully.
“You honest to God have no idea how enticing you are to me do you?” Ram asked as he nuzzled into Kade’s neck, taking in the smell of man, musk, and cedar.
Kade angled his head back to give Ram more room. “No,” he said breathlessly. “You’re a Daddy Dom then huh?” he choked out. The amount of lust coursing through his system was blowing his mind and robbing him of words.
“Know about Daddies do you?” Ram chuckled, almost thrilled at the possibility.
Kade grunted when Ram pressed him harder into the wall, one thick thigh wedging its way in between his to put painfully blissful pressure on his cock. “Had a buddy that was into it, he’s a little.”
Ram chuckled again. “I’m not into littles as much, but yes I am a Daddy Dom always have been. I’m a caregiver at heart. I like to take care of my boy.”
“Fuck,” Kade hissed as his cock pulsed hard. That deep voice paired with the knee driving into him pushed him close to the edge.
Ram couldn’t help it and leaned in and took Kade’s mouth in a rough kiss. He’d wanted to kiss the man for years and he wasn’t disappointed. Kade’s little gasp as he jerked in surprise made Ram chuckle against his mouth, before he softened the kiss. Easing Kade into it until their tongues were fighting for a taste and he had to pull back to breathe. “I really wanna continue this, but you’re about to drop. Kade, let me take you home.” Ram almost begged as he kept pressure on Kade’s dick. He was afraid that anymore and the man would pass out, he’d been working himself into the ground as long as he’d known him.
Kade shook his head. “More,” he demanded in a rough whisper. If Ram thought he was going to stop now he had another thing coming. He would have a tantrum fitting for a little if the man didn’t put his hands on him. Now.
Ram froze taking in the man’s flushed skin, dilated eyes and hard cock. “You sure you don’t like sex?” he asked slowly. He had to admit he wasn’t expecting this reaction.
“Never have before, always seemed like too much work for an okay orgasm that just left me feeling used afterwards,” Kade wheezed out, his fingers digging into Ram’s shoulders as another wave of lust swept through him.
Ram felt his dick harden even more, Kade was killing him. “Do I have your permission to end this?”
“Yes, God yes,” Kade moaned, he had never felt anything like this before.
“Hold on to me.” Ram placed Kade’s hands around his neck, and groaned when they immediately tangled in his hair, God he fucking loved that. Then he bent his knees to get closer and tangled their legs together. “Okay, grind down on my thigh.”
Kade shook his head, unable to use Ram like that, like he was nothing more than a means to get off, he already felt like shit for using Ram for sex anyway.
“Okay, then I’ll suck you.” Ram started to lower but Kade’s fingers clenched painfully in his hair making him hiss, he stopped in a weird crouch as he waited for Kade to release him.
White hot fear tore through Kade. “No,” he ground out. He wasn’t ready for anyone to see the damage that had been done to his body. He hadn’t even wanted Doc to see him, but he hadn’t had a choice in the matter.
Ram paused to consider his next move. “Kade.” He sighed, mentally kicking himself for getting his hopes up. He almost felt like this was just a joke to Kade, to see how much he could make Ram do.
“Pant’s stay on, I don’t care if you use your mouth, hands, or your fucking feet my pants stay on,” Kade said in a rush. He wanted this, more than he’d wanted anything in a long time, but his fear was making it hard to take it.
It was then that Ram realized Kade didn’t want to stop, but something under his pants was making it hard for him to move forward. “You’re hung Kade, you have no reason to be embarrassed.” It was true Kade rivaled him in size and he was specifically sought after at his club because of the size of his dick.
Kade shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “I know, that’s not the point.”
“Then what is?” Ram snapped, exasperated at this point and he was starting to feel like Kade was just fucking with him. “I won’t continue if I’m going to hurt you.”
“No.” Kade shook his head again almost in a panic. “I have a lot of scarring down there from my time in captivity, my pants stay on.” He knew his voice sounded choked. “I’m not ready for anyone to see it yet.”
Ram pressed him back against the wall before grabbing Kade’s hands and running them over the multitude of scars that ran over his own back.
“What?” Kade muttered, shocked.
“You’re not the only one with a story to tell, baby. I won’t push and I understand where you’re at,” Ram told him softly, then tensed when Kade dove his hands under his shirt to feel something no one, not even his twin brother, was allowed to touch.
“Fuck.” While he had a new respect for Ram he knew it would still be an uphill battle.
“You’ll tell me when you’re ready. I won’t push.” Ram caressed Kade’s cheek marveling at how soft his beard was. The man was a fucking work of art. His strong features, high cheekbones, strong nose and perfectly pouty lips made Ram wish he could draw.
Kade sighed, the mood had been killed even if his dick didn’t get the memo.
“I can still take care of that before I take you home.” Ram offered.
Kade grunted pushing down on his dick with the palm of his hand. “That’s not fair, I’m fine.” While it had been years since he’d been attracted to someone, Devin didn’t really count as he’d needed alcohol to fuck the man, he was no stranger to waiting for things.
“Not about fair, Kade. I offered, and really want to.” Ram wasn’t lying he would give just about anything at this point to get his hands on him.
“Only if you come too.” Kade bargained. He didn’t want this shit to be one sided, he already felt like shit for asking Ram to do this.
“Deal.” Ram thought it best to communicate his plan. “Gonna move us to the couch, then turn off the lights so I can pull your pants down a little to get to you, I won’t take them off and I’m doing the same okay?”
Kade had to swallow hard. “As long as the lights are off and my pants stay on I’m good.”
“Good go ahead and lay down,” Ram said as he rushed to turn the light off in the bathroom.
Kade sat, but was too nervous to lay down.
“You still good?” Ram asked. He could see the outline of the man sitting there instead of laying down.
“Yeah, just unsure of what to do,” Kade told him honestly.
“Start by lowering your pants and laying down,” Ram said, putting a little authority in his voice to see if that would help the man.
Kade nodded, doing as he asked. It was easier when things were laid out for him. By the time he’d laid down the anxiety had returned.
“Still okay?” Ram checked.
“Yeah,” Kade croaked. He was fine, it was just a different experience to be laid out in front of the man and not be able to see him. To be this vulnerable. He’d never been in this position and he had no idea why but he knew Ram wouldn’t make him regret it.
“Okay I’m gonna join you. You okay with me on top?” Ram had almost forgotten to ask but he wanted to make sure he didn’t cause the man to panic.
“Yes.” The whole waiting game was making things harder. Normally Kade was the one on top but he knew deep down Ram wouldn’t hurt him.
Ram went slow, giving Kade time to adjust as he laid down on top of him, holding most of his weight on his arms, and couldn’t help but groan when his dick rubbed against Kade’s. They fit together perfectly.
“Shit.” Kade bucked, unable to handle the pressure of all that wonderful weight on top of him.
“Yes, like that. Do it again,” Ram almost growled, that was fucking perfect.
Like Kade could resist that deep commanding voice.
Ram took a hold of Kade’s right hand and licked a path from the bottom of his palm to the tops of his fingers, getting them nice and wet, then placed it on his dick. “I like it hard and fast or slow and gentle or any variation thereof.” He licked his own hand before grabbing Kade, the man’s yell making it clear he was close.
White lights danced behind Kade’s eyes and stole what was left of his vision but before the orgasm could overtake him Ram squeezed the base of his dick hard then pulled his balls back from where they were trying to crawl back into his body.
“Not yet baby, give me a few more minutes,” Ram whispered softly in his ear as he laid back over him.
No.” Kade almost sobbed he’d been so close. He desperately wanted the peace that came with a good orgasm.
“Hold on, I have lube.” Ram levered up pulling a packet out of his wallet and tearing it open with his teeth. He wanted to be extra careful of Kade’s scars and was afraid just spit wouldn’t cover it.
“Ram!” Kade growled, it had been so long, and the back and forth was starting to hurt. His dick was harder than it had ever been.
Warming the lube with his hands he slathered it over both of their dicks before settling back down over him. Instead of using his hands he hooked them under Kade’s shoulders and pushed him down while he thrust up.
Kade almost came out of his skin from the pressure. He bucked every time Ram rolled his hips. “Ram please!” he begged, almost delirious.
“Come, baby,” Ram grunted, snapping his hips.
Kade screamed. That was all he could think to call the sound he made when his orgasm hit. He shot spurt after spurt of cum between them, the first few jets hitting the couch arm above his head before lessening and pooling on his stomach. He vaguely heard Ram groan and jerk as he joined him but was too far gone to do anything but sink blissfully into the couch.