Chapter 24
twenty-four
JULIAN
6 YEARS EARLIER
As our principal, Mr. M said in his closing speech, high school graduation was the first day all our lives truly started. The unknown of the real world filled me with a sense of excitement, especially after spending my entire life in a small town, surrounded by the same faces.
When they finally called my name to cross the stage, I ignored everyone else and focused only on Mila in the second-to-last row, smiling proudly. With her help, I graduated with a higher GPA than my dad and grandpa combined, but for the first time in my life, I did something without them in mind and only thought of myself.
“Congratulations, class of 2018,” Mr. M said into the microphone before my classmates and I erupted in cheers for the last time and threw our caps in the air.
Elijah found me almost immediately through the crowd. He planned to stay in California, a few hours from Willow’s Cove while he attended UC Davis. His dad wasn’t too happy he wouldn’t play football while majoring in communications, but in true Elijah Fisher fashion, he didn’t care.
“I heard New York isn’t everything people make it out to be, Perez,” he joked.
I laughed under my breath. “I’m gonna miss you too, Fisher,” I didn’t know when we’d see each other again, or where we’d be in our new lives when we did, but I was confident it wasn’t the last time.
He brought me into a tight embrace. “Take care of yourself, JP. I want to hear about all the exciting shit you and Camilla have done the next time I see you.”
We were suddenly joined by Damon, who wrapped his arms around us both. “You’re having a group hug and forgot me?”“How could we? I heard your smart ass remarks from across the field,” Elijah said, before dismissing himself to take pictures with his family, leaving me and Damon alone. He had his moments, but senior year was when he tried to be better, making him easier to be around.
“You’re really going to New York?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, we leave in a few days to get settled in our new apartment.” We were both silent, because we knew after seeing each other everyday for eighteen years, it was about to change, but you don’t say goodbye to the kid who’s seen you through every phase of your life; it’s always see you later.
“I’m happy for you and Camilla, really. I know I was an asshole, but I’m taking my year off to go find out who I want to be outside of high school.” He was the only senior who didn’t apply to any colleges, but knowing Damon, not having a plan, was the plan.
I hugged him so tight, I was nearly out of breath. “You know I’m here whenever you need me, D. We’re brothers.”
He hid his red, swollen eyes when we broke apart. It was the first time I ever saw him cry. “Thanks for being my best friend, even when I didn’t deserve it.” As he walked away, all I pictured was the kid I met in kindergarten, who wore a matching superhero shirt with me.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Can I hug my brother now?” I turned to see Sofia in a flowy purple dress.
“I guess so,” I said as I picked her up off her feet and squeezed her tightly. We hadn’t seen much of each other since I’d stormed out of my house, alternating between crashing on Elijah’s couch and Mila’s bed, but there wasn’t a day she didn’t call to check on me. I wasn’t surprised she was alone, since I knew my parents couldn’t give two shits about their oldest kid graduating high school.
“I’m proud of you, J,” she said as I placed my graduation cap on her head. She cowered with disappointment. “I’m sorry it’s just me who showed up.”
“I’m not. I only wanted you here anyway.” I shrugged.
“You’re finally being nice to me right before you leave for New York?” She was the reason I felt a hint of dread to leave town. I’d miss her sarcasm, her witty jokes, and most of all, her sunny disposition that always reminded me everything we faced at home would pass.
“Speaking of, can you sneak me through the window later so I can pack my stuff?”
She beamed a smile up at me. “Only if you let me visit you during New York Fashion Week.”
I playfully rolled my eyes. “Deal.” What she didn’t know was I planned to have her visit as much as she could so I could keep an eye on her. Even thousands of miles wouldn’t stop me from being her big brother.
When her eyes darted behind me, I knew Mila was there. “I’ll let you guys have a moment. I’ll see you back at the house.”
I didn’t have time to prepare before Mila leaped into my arms and kissed me. “Hey, graduate,” she said against my smile.
“Hey back. You look beautiful.” I brushed away her wavy hair to get a look into her blue eyes.
“You sure you can’t come to dinner with us?” As much as I wanted to join her family, and finally get to know her dad, we were moving states in a matter of days, and I had nothing packed.
“We’ll have plenty of time together in New York, but I have to go pack. Go have fun with your parents, and I’ll call you later.”
My heart swelled when she ran her fingers through my hair with a warm smile. “I love you.”
“I love you more.” Holding her in my arms made me even more eager to pack up my old life for the new one we were starting together.
* * *
Thankfully, Sofia remembered to leave her window unlocked for me to sneak in after dark. I didn’t know how my dad would react if he saw me, and I didn’t want to find out. The house was quiet, so I was sure he was passed out drunk somewhere, but I still felt the familiar dread I always did stepping foot inside.
I found Sofia in front of the mirror applying makeup, which I thought was odd, but I assumed she was getting ready to leave with her friends.
“You want to help me pack so I can get the hell out of here?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure,” she said with her face hidden behind her hair. “Why are you hiding your face?”
“I’m not. Let’s go pack your things.” I stood in front of her door so she wouldn’t be able to leave. After years of living in that house, I knew it wasn’t nothing. I felt anger radiate through every crevice of my bones when I moved the hair from her face, and saw the red mark on her cheek she was unsuccessful at covering with makeup.
“What happened?” I already knew, but I had to hear it from her.
She pushed my hand away. “Me and Dad got into an argument when I gave him shit about not going to your graduation. It’s my fault for making him upset. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew what you’d do.”
My hands curled into fists at my sides, and I saw nothing but red as I stormed downstairs where I knew he’d be, ignoring Sofia’s pleas to stop as she followed behind on my heels. It was too late to turn back—he made the mistake of doing the one thing I told him not to. I’d taken a few hits from him and never told anyone as long as he never laid a hand on Sofia. The moment he hurt her, all bets were off.
“You know what’ll happen if you confront him; it’s not worth it,” Sofia said with panic in her voice.
“When is it gonna be enough, Sof? He’s treated us like shit our entire lives and has gotten away with it because we always say he’s not worth the trouble. I’m done.”
Just as I suspected, he was passed out on the couch, a case of beer curled up next to him, my mom passed out with a lit cigarette in her hand. I kicked the couch so hard, they both startled awake. “Julian? What the hell are you doing here?” my dad shouted.
“The better question is, what the hell is on Sofia’s face?”
He stood up and looked me directly in the eyes with a sinister smirk. It was embarrassing to admit I once looked up to him, but it just showed how little I actually knew him. “You’re leaving, so it doesn’t concern you. She’s my business now.” There was a voice in my head telling me he was punishing Sofia for my choice to go to New York.
The smell of whiskey flooded my nose the longer I stood in front of him. “I told you what would happen if you ever hurt her.” All he cared about was his reputation in town, and I was sure once people found out how he treated us, his worst nightmare of being forgotten would come true.
“You won’t do shit.” I only had one intrusive thought enter my mind: fuck it . I swung my arm back and hit his face with all the strength my body had. One punch laid him flat on the ground, unconscious. My mom finally showed concern, but it was towards him lying on the floor. I always felt sorry for her; I knew she disassociated because she was stuck in a loveless marriage, but at that moment, I saw the worry she had for him instead of her daughter, and I no longer felt anything for her.
“When he wakes up, tell him never to come near my sister again,” I gritted out before pulling Sofia back upstairs.
Her face was pale and held a look of horror as she stood in the middle of my room. “Holy shit. You’ve never hit him before.”I started frantically shoving my stuff into boxes to distract myself from how angry I was. “Yeah, well, it was long overdue. Are you okay? Let me see your face.”
She cried out when I gently ran my finger across the mark already starting to bruise. “I’m fine, J. I’ll just crash at a friend’s house until it cools off here.” She deserved better. We both did, but it wasn’t fair I was getting out and leaving her to fend for herself in that hellhole. I knew the only person would suffer the consequences for what I had just done was her, and I couldn’t sit back and do nothing.
“No. I’m gonna finish packing, you’re going to grab as much of your things as you can carry, and we’re crashing at a hotel until I can figure out what to do.”
I didn’t want to admit it yet, but I knew there was only one way to fix everything, and it meant I’d have to make the ultimate sacrifice.
* * *
I laid on the floor of the hotel room and gazed up at the ceiling, getting lost in the mess of my own thoughts. Every scenario I came up with landed me on the same decision, which would cost me everything—Mila.
“Sof, you up?” I whispered.
She turned on her side and looked down at me from the bed. “I’m not sleeping at all tonight. What’s up?”
I mustered up the words heavy on my tongue. “I’m not going to New York.” I wanted to vomit from how definitive it felt.
Her eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you talking about? You have to go, Julian. You have college, and Cami, and?—”
“I need to be here, Sofia. You realize once I’m gone, Dad will have only you to take all his anger out on? I have to protect you until I can make sure he won’t bother us again.”
She pried herself from under the blanket. “How are you gonna do that?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” I could only focus on one problem at a time, but I had one idea I was hoping would work.
She sighed and joined me on the floor. “I can’t ask you to give up your entire life for me, J.” Her voice cracked, as if she was on the verge of tears.
“You’re not asking. I’ve made up my mind—I’ll use the money I had saved up for New York to get a place where we’ll stay while you finish up school. After that, we’ll figure it out. Together.” I wrapped my arm around her as she laid her head on my shoulder, just like when we were kids.
She sniffled. “What about Cami?” I winced when images of the life waiting for us flashed. The idea of missing out on it was excruciating, but before I was Mila’s boyfriend, I was Sofia’s big brother, and I had an obligation to protect her, even if it meant losing the thing I held closest to my heart.
“I can’t hold her back, Sof.” I didn’t have to say anything else for her to know what my decision meant. “I’m sorry.”
I forced a smile as I wiped tears streaming down her cheek. “Get some sleep.”
If I had a normal life, I would’ve packed my things, had a farewell party with friends, and left town like most people did after graduating high school; but as much as my family tried to pretend, our life was far from normal.