9. Riot
NINE
RIOT
The plastic chair I’m squashed into is digging into the backs of my thighs, but I can’t move. The bite of pain is all that’s keeping me from losing it completely.
Ivy and Maylie have been shut away in that room for the last half-hour with the baby, and it’s killing me to have that door between us.
Ivy’s panicked call replays through my mind like a horror movie, and the way she looked at me when I walked into the apartment will be etched into my brain for the rest of my fucking days. I never want to see that expression on her face again.
“You think they’re okay?” I ask, my gaze still locked on the door.
I clasp my hands together to stop them shaking. Fuck . I’ve done a lot of bad shit, inflicted a lot of damage on men who stood against the club, even just for the fun of fighting, but ain’t nothing ever affected me the way this has.
Seren’s just a baby, and Ivy’s been through hell already. She doesn’t need any more pain or suffering.
My leg bounces, anxiety buzzing through me. I want to fight, to let out this tightness, but I ain’t leaving the hospital without Ivy and Seren.
“She’ll be okay,” Mace says. “You got them here in time.”
I did, no thanks to him and Maylie. Ivy waited for an ambulance that never came, and she waited for help from Maylie and Mace, which didn’t fucking come either.
“Where were you both?” My words are accusatory.
Mace’s brows raise almost imperceptibly. I’ve pissed him off with the question or my tone, I ain’t sure which, but I don’t care about his feelings. My question is valid. Ivy couldn’t get hold of either of them. I can’t imagine the panic she must have felt listening to that call ring out while she thought her daughter was dying in her arms.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with this.” He dodges the question.
Fuck him. “I don’t care that she came to me, Mace, but I shouldn’t have been the third call she had to make.”
I should’ve been the first. I clamp my teeth together so I don’t say it.
His jaw flexes as he folds his arms over his chest, leaning his head back against the wall. “You’re right, and Maylie ain’t ever gonna forgive herself for that. Me neither,” he murmurs. “So, don’t fuckin’ say this shit to her.”
“Look, if you two were fuckin’—”
“We weren’t.” Mace scowls at me, and I brace in case he takes a swing at me, but the fight drains out of him. “We were here. Upstairs in the maternity unit. We had to turn our phones off.”
The way he says it makes my blood freeze in my veins. I don’t know shit about pregnancy, but I know if Maylie had been at the hospital for anything routine, she would have told us. Her excitement over this pregnancy has been contagious.
I sit forwards. “Are Maylie and the kid okay?”
His eyes become glassy, distant. “I don’t know.” Him admitting that scares me more than anything else he could have said. “She’s constantly sick, and she’s so fucking thin. The doctors don’t seem worried, but I’m fuckin’ scared, Nate.”
That fear I was just letting go of clutches my chest again.
“She’s okay though, right?”
He blows out a breath. “I mean… yeah. It’s me who’s the problem. I can’t fuckin’ stand it. She’s wasting away in front of my eyes.” His breath hitches. I’ve never seen my brother like this. “The hospital’s monitoring them both, which is why we were here this morning. They were doing bloods and giving her some fluids, but this extreme throwing up can lead to other complications for her and the baby.”
Exhaustion crushes his shoulders. His fear is etched into every taut line of his body, and that ice inside me turns fucking glacial.
“Shit,” I mutter. I knew she was throwing up a lot, but Maylie’s a ray of sunshine. I had no idea things were this bad. “You should’ve said something. Do Ivy and Toby know?”
“Maylie didn’t want to worry them.”
Toby, I understand, but Ivy? The lies and half-truths they keep telling her are piling up, and I’m done with keepin’ shit from her.
“You don’t think Ivy’s gonna be more worried and pissed-off when she finds out the truth? I know she’ll be because I’m fuckin’ pissed you never said anything too. I love Maylie.” Mace’s eyes flash. “Not like that, you jealous prick. She’s your old lady, but she’s my family now, too. Her, Ivy, Toby, and Seren are important to me. You can’t keep hidin’ shit. It ain’t fair.”
I can tell the moment he realises I’m not just talking about Maylie’s complications.
Secrets have a way of coming out, and Ivy’s not gonna handle it well when it does.
Mace stares at me as if he’s contemplating how to hurt me without leaving any evidence. “It ain’t our decision what Maylie tells her siblings, Nate.”
I come to my feet in a move so quick, my head momentarily spins.
“Fuck you and fuck that. You know that ain’t even right. Ivy is a woman now, Mace. She ain’t a kid who needs to be protected.”
No, she’s not. Her curves have filled out since she had the baby, but it’s not just her appearance. She seems older, more mature. Having her daughter has changed her so much from the girl I first met.
Back then, she seemed like a broken doll that needed to be fixed, glued back together, but now… she’s stronger than they give her credit for. Ain’t many who could go through what she has and come out the other side of it still mostly whole.
Mace also comes to his feet, drawing himself to his full height. If he’s trying to intimidate me, it ain’t working. I knew Mace back when he was a scrawny kid with a bad attitude and the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I don’t disagree, but right now, Maylie needs to be as relaxed as possible. If that means holding back on certain things until she’s ready to tell Ivy, then that’s what we do.” Oh yeah, he definitely knows I’m talking about Ivy’s prick ex and not just Maylie’s pregnancy. “Don’t get involved.”
Fucker . He wants me on the front line when it suits him but asks me to step back when I have an opinion?
That ain’t happening.
I shake my head. “Love you, Mace. Love you more than I love my actual brother and sister, but right now, I’m findin’ it fuckin’ hard to even look at you.” I don’t mask the disgust in my tone. “You two have your priorities fucked up, and although you think you’re doing the best in this situation, you’re not. What do you think is gonna happen when Ivy finds out that her ex has been dead all this time?” I hiss in a quiet whisper.
He doesn’t answer. He knows there won’t be a single thing any of us can say that will justify it.
“It’s cruel what we’re doin’ to her,” I continue. “She has a right to know that the father of her child, the man who tormented her for months, who raped her, is no longer a threat to her and her daughter.”
Saying those words is a spark to a flame, fuelling the fire that hasn’t stopped burning since I learnt the truth.
“Let’s just get Maylie through this pregnancy, and then we’ll talk to Ivy.”
Months … that’s how long he wants to keep this a secret.
“That’s fucked up, Mace.”
His eyes narrow. “You’re pushing this mighty fuckin’ hard. Why?”
Because I love her.
“Because I care about her,” I snap.
His penetrating glare feels as if he’s invading my thoughts. “She ain’t yours to worry about.”
That statement pisses me off. “So, what? I’m good enough to be your fuckin’ bitch, but not good enough to be part of your family, is that it?”
His anger disappears between one blink and the next. “I didn’t say that.”
I scoff at him. “Fuck you.”
I walk away before I do something I can’t take back. Anger pulses through my veins, and not just because of my brother. This whole situation has me like a powder keg, ready to explode.
He grabs my bicep, and I tear out of his grasp. “I’m leavin’ before either of us makes this shit worse.”
“You’re family,” he says, his grip tightening. “You know that. But I won’t risk Maylie’s health over this. Any stress could hurt her and the baby.”
What about Ivy’s health?
What about her wellbeing?
I grind my teeth, forcing calm into my body. “Then find a way to tell her that ain’t gonna cause Maylie problems.”
Tearing my arm free, I walk away, vibrating with rage. I need to get out of here. I can’t look Ivy in the face and keep lying. I can’t bear it.
The corridors are busy with medical staff, visitors, and patients moving like a current. I shouldn’t leave. I should stay by her side—she needs me—but my guilt and shame are eating me alive.
So, I leave the hospital, my body a ball of tension as I drive the van back across the city. Mace’s words play on repeat as I drive.
She ain’t yours to worry about.
Fuck, those words eviscerated me.
Ivy is mine, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending she’s not.