28. Pandora
PANDORA
I wrap my arms around River, words lodged in my throat.
I have no idea what’s going on, but hearing him sob makes something scratch the insides of my chest.
“I can’t,” River repeats.
“Okay,” I say.
I breathe in, inhaling his scent. There’s a smoky scent clinging to his shirt, along with the familiar smell of blood.
If somebody hurt River, I’m going to eviscerate them.
He clings to me like he’s scared of letting go, and I run my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down.
I glare at the guy who’s stepped out of his own room, who looks bedraggled and annoyed, and he takes one look at us and closes his door again.
“I need you,” he whispers, his voice ragged and raw in a way I’ve never heard it before.
The only other time I’ve seen him this upset was when he found out about Rachel’s death.
“I’m here,” I answer. A door opens behind me, and before Sam can complain about us, I say, “Sorry about the noise, Samantha. River and I are heading into my room now.”
There’s a suspiciously long silence before Sam says, “Fine. Just keep it down.” She closes her door again.
I take River’s hand and pull back enough so I can look at his face. It’s hard to tell with only the light from the hallway, but his eyes look puffy.
If somebody made him cry, I’ll do more than eviscerate them. I will gouge their eyes out and make them eat them.
“Come on,” I say softly. “You can take whatever you need from me.”
“What I need,” he repeats, letting out a choked laugh. “You can’t give me what I need , Pandora. No one can.”
I squeeze his hand and lead him to my bedroom, all while my heart sticks needles into my chest.
“Take whatever you want, then,” I reply. I close my bedroom door behind us. The only light is the small bedside lamp.
I want to offer sex. I want to kiss him, hold him, comfort him.
Like he’d comforted you after Rachel died? a small, vicious voice in the back of my mind whispers.
That’s irrelevant now. The past is in the past. River paid for his mistake. He gave me his finger, and I know he didn’t mean it because River would never purposefully hurt me.
He leads me to my bed in silence, tugging at my hand as he lies down. He pulls me down into his arms, and he buries his face against the fabric of my tank top. It’s soon soaked through with tears as he sobs, his shoulders shaking with the force of them.
I let him cry, smoothing my fingers through his hair.
I don’t know what to do. My heart continues to scratch and stab my ribs, and I want to offer to maim somebody to punish whoever did this, but I have enough sense to know that’s not what he wants from me right now.
I kiss the top of his head and try to will myself into being a normal person who understands how to have normal feelings .
Mama would know what to do , I think, but I can’t exactly call her up at 3 a.m. and ask her to come down here and comfort my… boyfriend? Yeah. River’s my boyfriend. That sounds right.
River’s sobbing slows, and I let out a small sigh of relief.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask as gently as I can. Tell me who I need to murder .
“He’s dead,” River blurts out through his tears. “Pandora, he’s dead .”
Dead.
Blaze? Or Asch?
The knife goes through the inside of my chest, and it’s a wonder there isn’t a torrent of blood.
“Who?” I demand.
River looks up at me, his eyes still glassy with tears. “You wouldn’t know him,” he says, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. “You should have, though. You’d have thought he was pathetic but sweet.” He sobs again. “Fuck. Franklin was such an idiot.”
The pain in my chest eases, and suddenly the whole evening is lighter again.
I don’t tell River how relieved I am to hear that the dead person is a complete nobody. River cared for him, so he’s important for that reason alone.
But this is something we can get over.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “What happened?”
“So dumb,” he mumbles. “God. I didn’t even know you could die from vaping. I thought it was… something people do that’s stupid.”
He’s not making much sense.
“People can be allergic to the ingredients,” I say slowly. “It’s rare, but it can happen.”
“Cinnamon,” River tells me, wiping at his eyes.
“The guys…” He smiles, but it’s not a pretty smile.
“They convinced him it was fake. It wasn’t.
” He shudders. “He died in the back of Blaze’s fancy fucking car.
By himself, without me even knowing . I could’ve at least…
I don’t fucking know! I should’ve done something. Anything.”
“Oh.” I bite my lip, not sure if I should say anything, but I did just learn about this thanks to a classmate’s presentation. “Even the cinnamon flavorings can be cytotoxic."
River looks blankly at me.
“It’s an irritant to the lungs,” I tell him. “That, and the—” I shake my head. “There are different things he could’ve been allergic to along with the cinnamon.”
“Of course there were,” River says, his voice edged.
I know the anger isn’t directed at me, and I stroke his hair again.
“It should’ve happened to Brock, or Tate, or hell, even Zayden,” he says.
I don’t know much about Brock or Tate, but I am always happy to hate on Zayden.
“Do you want it to happen to them?” I ask. “We can make it happen.”
River chuckles, a dark, ugly sound. “Oh, Brock is already paying for it. Tate… Blaze is going to take care of him.” He pauses, then adds, “He’d better, or I’ll do it.”
Now my chest flutters, because of course Blaze would already be taking care of it. I knew I liked Blaze. Between the four of us, we can take down anyone who gets in our way.
Or hurts us.
“If you need any help with raining revenge down on anyone, I’m always here for you,” I say. “I’m thinking, choking death? That would simulate the allergic reaction.”
River is quiet. If I had to place bets, I’d say he’s considering it.
But he slowly shakes his head. “He’ll see what happened to Brock — which we had nothing to do with — and think better of fucking with people like that again.
” He closes his eyes. “Fuck. Just… fuck. I should’ve insisted that they leave him alone when he told them no.
He told them no , Pandora, and they didn’t fucking listen. ”
My vision hazes over then .
Like they’d done to Carly.
They hadn’t given her a choice at all. They’d tried to wash it all away.
No, they’d blamed her for it.
Getting just Declan isn’t enough. I do need to take down the entire Kappa Ass house.
I take River’s left hand and raise it up so I can kiss it—and notice the bruising on it. “Oh. Is this from where you took care of Brock? I hope his nose is so broken he can’t ever breathe properly again.”
He goes silent for several heartbeats, and I’m starting to think he’s not going to reply when he finally says, “No. This was something else.”
“Something else? Boxing?” I give River a soft smile. “You should have told me you were doing street fights. I’d have bet on you.”
He doesn’t smile back. “Someone attacked the frat house. Well, several someones. I don’t know who.” He grimaces. “I know I recognized one of them, but I don’t know from where. Not from boxing.” He closes his eyes again and sighs. “Why the fuck am I even telling you this?”
Somebody attacked the frat house.
I let go of River and reach for my phone, then scroll over to a text I got earlier today.
Kratos
im in harmony hanging out with some biker friends wanna meet up for dinner
Pandora
I’m cramming for tests. Is Ares with you?
Kratos
nah he didnt want to road trip said swim training was more important but i think he just has the hots for that dude from the other school
nvm were gonna do a thing
Pandora
a thing?
Kratos
a biker thing gonna show some dudes not to disrespect uh something idk i wasnt paying attention
River looks down at my phone, grabbing it from me and reading over the texts. His expression darkens. “Why the fuck would your biker brother have it in for some frat? Did you say something about Carly?”
I shake my head. “No way! I already handled that, anyway. It must have been somewhere else.”
But just in case, I take my phone back and text Kratos.
Pandora
how did your thing go?
It immediately shows that it’s been read, and that’s probably not a good sign.
Kratos
fucking awesome other guys were pissing themselves
glad you dumped river hes still a loser
Pandora
He isn’t. Shut up about River.
River grits his teeth. “When Blaze finds out a Pavone was there…” He doesn’t continue his thought.
“If,” I correct him, but I’m curious now. “What do you think would happen, River?”
He’s quiet again before saying, “I don’t know. The Bouchards have the most power here, but at the same time, he’s fucking infatuated with you. ”
I smile widely. “Exactly. Blaze is reasonable like that. Anyway, what’s a little, um… fist fight? Between rivals. I’ll tell Kratos to leave you all alone, and it’ll be fine.”
I do kind of wish I’d been there though. It would have been fun to see the carnage. I’ll have to ask Kratos who else he went with, though, since it sounds like he really only tagged along for the hell of it.
Pandora
btw what’s this about Ares being into a guy?
Kratos
i dunno some guy who never smiles but ares thinks hes got a massive cock i guess
“Does that really matter right now?” River asks. “Fuck, Pandora. This is going to be a mess. Zayden and Blaze are already at each other’s throats.”
“Well, it’s only a mess if you snitch on Kratos,” I point out. I rub my thumb along the bottom of his eye to wipe away some of the tear tracks. “It’s not a big deal. You’re fine, everybody’s fine. It’s not like Kratos and his buddies did real damage.”