4. Just Pretend
Chapter 4
Just Pretend
Esme
M y tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth as I try to lick my overly dry lips. I groan and try to open my eyes, but the light coming through the crack of my curtains is blinding. My head is starting to pound, and someone keeps constantly ringing the doorbell.
“Go awayyyy,” I groan. Why the fuck isn’t anyone opening the door?
I flop out of bed and crawl to my mini fridge sitting in the corner of my room. It is placed here for this exact reason. Leaning against the wall, I fling the door open to get my jade roller and a sports drink. I twist the lid open and gulp down the white liquid. This flavor has always been a favorite, especially in a time like this. The cold drink was just what I needed and helps quench how thirsty I was, although I’ll need another twenty if I’m going to not be dehydrated any longer. Once I’ve downed the entire bottle, I start rolling out my face. The ringing is still going, and it’s doing nothing for my ever-growing headache. I get up and fling my bedroom door open. I keep my eyes closed as much as possible to block out all the light, letting my legs guide me by memory. I let my head loll whichever way it likes, my muscles too tired to try to keep it upright the entire time. I keep the cold roller to my face, open the front door just enough to see who’s standing out there, and squint my eyes to see who is bothering me at such an ungodly time.
It’s Hannah, and she looks worried.
“Girl, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but your phone keeps going to voicemail. What the fuck happened?”
I step aside so she can come in and as soon as she steps past me, she lets out a blood-curdling scream. I turn around in shock, and the sight before me makes me scream as well. Blood. So much blood and bodies. There are bodies and blood and…
“I think I’m going to be sick.” I turn back to the front door and run out to puke over the edge of the front porch. I keep puking until I’m just dry-heaving, my stomach purged of all of its contents.
I have a hand on a pillar to steady myself and try to dry my eyes with my shirt. Hannah walks out and puts her hand on my shoulder. She’s been crying, her eyes red and her face puffy.
“The police are on their way.”
I nod my head in understanding and take a few steps to the side, only to collapse to the ground. I shift myself so my back is against the pillar and pull my knees to my chest.
“What happened last night?” she asks.
I put my head against the slab and close my eyes to try to recount what happened.
“I-I don’t know. We said we were going to make a plan, and then we started dancing…”
“Yeah, and then you called your driver to come and pick you up when the bar closed at two. I caught a cab, and you promised you would text when you got home, but you never did.”
She sits down next to me and puts her arm around my shoulders. I lean my head against her shoulder and realize I’m shivering. It must be the shock of what I just saw. I try to remember what happened from the moment I left the bar last night.
“I-I don’t know what happened after that,” I blurt. The tears are still coming as I try to process everything. Why won’t my brain just let me remember?
Tires screeching and sirens blaring invade my thoughts as police cars come to a stop in front of the house.
My house quickly goes from a family home to a crime scene. Yellow tape is put up, and every possible person has come up to ask me for my side of the story and what I know. I tell the same story again and again and wait for answers. Black bag after black bag is wheeled out on mortuary carts and into a van to be carried away. No one has even told me if Daddy is among those who are dead. I’m almost too afraid to hear it, so I don’t ask. I assume he is since I haven’t heard from him, but I just can’t deal with that thought right now. I don’t even know why there are so many bodies. Who all was killed? Everything seems to blur out, and time passes at an incredibly fast, yet such a slow rate. One moment I’m trying to answer questions and watching the scene in front of me unfold, and the next there’s an officer standing at my feet.
“Ma’am?” one officer addresses me. This takes me out of the stupor I’m in, and I turn to look at the person in front of me.
“Yes?” I respond.
“You should probably go pack an overnight bag. I can escort you. There are no more bodies, but it is still an active crime scene.”
They stretch their hand out to help me up, and I take it. I keep my head down as I make my way through the house and back into my bedroom. I grab a travel suitcase from my closet and start throwing everything I might need in there. Makeup, pajamas, clothes, my cap and gown for graduation. I’m surely not thinking straight, but I don’t care right now. I manage to find my phone under my pillow and just throw it in the bag. I’ll deal with it later. I go back outside to find Hannah waiting for me.
“You ready? You can come stay at my place until we get this all figured out.” she asks.
“As I’ll ever be.”
* * *
It’s been a week, and the police still don’t know who killed everyone in my house. My dad was confirmed among the deceased, and I have been mourning ever since. I also was told that my driver, gatekeeper, cleaning ladies, and chef were among the others dead. I have no one.
I have kept my phone off, not wanting to interact with anyone or anything. I’ve basically just been holed up in the guest bedroom waiting for…something. My professors have granted that due to the extenuating circumstances and my already high grades, I don’t have to partake in my last round of finals. I’m still on track to graduate next week, although I’ve decided I won’t walk the stage. It doesn’t feel as important now that Daddy isn’t around.
“Hey, girl,” Hannah says while coming into the room.
“Hey,” I say. I’m curled up with a blanket, sitting on the chair by the window.
“I brought you your phone. I know you haven’t wanted to be on it, but you should probably at least try to make some arrangements. I’m sure a lawyer is trying to reach out or something regarding your dad’s will.”
I nod my head because she’s right. I take the phone from her and power it on.
“Do you want me to stay with you?”
“No.” I offer a small smile. “I’m okay, thank you.”
She nods and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.
I stare out the window at the other houses across the street. Their lives are just continuing on, and I’m sitting here at a loss for what to do. My phone starts vibrating non-stop. I’m sure it’s been flooded with texts and calls since the incident, but also with social media notifications and emails.
I quickly swipe up on the screen and enter my code, preparing myself to see the onslaught of ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘Prayers’ that will fill my screen. Messages are pouring in, but as my eyes scan what’s coming through, they catch in the image set behind the apple on my homescreen. I flip to the last page and drop my phone like it’s on fire. It’s definitely not what I originally had it set as. Instead, it’s a picture of me, passed out on the bed, and there’s a knife to my throat.
I try to breathe through the tears that are forming in my eyes. I shakily pick my phone back up and look at the picture when I notice there’s something else in the picture. It’s a note that’s been written. I go to my camera roll, and there it is, the same picture as my home screen. I zoom in on the note to read it.
“Do not tell anyone what happened, or we’ll come for you next. Leave the house and don’t look back,” I read aloud.
Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I told. I called the police, and there’s a whole investigation, and I have to get out of here. Shit doesn’t make sense, but I’m not about to sit here and make it worse for Hannah.
I jump out of the chair, wipe my eyes, and start shoving all my shit into the luggage.
“Hannah!” I call out.
“Yes…” she says opening the door, “What the fuck is going on?”
“I have to go.”
“No shit. I can see you have to go. But wait. Where are you going? How about you just breathe for a second and tell me what’s happening.”
“No. No, I can’t stop. I have to go. I need to go see a lawyer so I can figure this shit out and leave this goddamn town.”
I have to keep Hannah safe, I have to keep myself safe. Holy shit, this is all fucked.