Chapter 26
Lyra
I
manage to do my Suitorette duty and have individual time with each of the men left on the date. We spend hours in the brewery to film it all. It’s a nice enough place, but all I can smell is yeast and hops.
Spencer left. He walked away, and I’m desperate to find out if that means he’s leaving the show—and me—or just headed back to the hotel early.
I didn’t want him to see me kiss Liam. I didn’t want to kiss Liam—it just happened. I won the silly game and gave him a hug and then his mouth was on mine, and I was so surprised that I let it happen.
One minute I was teasing Spencer about all the times I’ve wanted to kiss him over the years, and the next, I’m kissing someone else.
Who does that?
The Suitorette, apparently.
It doesn’t happen with any of the other men, even though Phillippe tries at least three times.
He’s so going home tomorrow.
After the men are driven back to the hotel, I sit at the table with Rue, morosely finishing my beer.
She’s tapping away at her tablet, not noticing I look like I’ve lost my best friend.
Which I might very well have.
“You should have kissed more of the men,” Rue says without looking up. “You need to work on that.”
“I need to work on my kissing?” I ask in an icy voice.
“No; not the actual technique, I mean—you need to kiss more of the men. It was only Liam tonight and the others—” She finally looks up from the tablet and freezes when she sees how I’m looking at her.
It’s not a good look.
“I don’t, actually, need to kiss anyone.
” I enunciate each syllable to help Rue understand.
It’s not the first time she suggested I up the episodes of PDA.
Almost every date recap, she makes a comment on how it’s important to find out how compatible I am with the men and kissing them is the best way.
I wonder how many men she had to kiss that she wasn’t really interested in.
“Ah… okay.” Rue stands up quickly, her chair leg protesting as it drags backward. “Let’s go back to Camille’s for the recap.” I can read her thoughts like a book—this conversation, any conversation where I’m shooting daggers at her, is above her pay grade.
She wants backup from the big guns.
But I’m not letting her off the hook that easily. “No, I think we should talk about my kissing now.”
Rue takes a deep breath. It’s not the first time that I’ve seen someone gather their courage before dealing with me. “The audience likes it when you kiss,” she says, aiming for an authoritative tone.
She fails.
“I don’t give a flying fig what the audience says,” I tell her, my tone slow and serious and much more in control than Rue.
This is my show and I’m not about to pander to their every wish if it has me doing things I’m not comfortable with.
“Have you not heard of consent? My consent? Just because I am putting myself out there, and trying to make a connection with these men, I’m in no way obligated to participate in any sort of physical activity with them, and they—and you—need to realize that.
I will kiss someone when I want to. When I feel like it and when I have a connection with them.
This will not be dictated by you or anyone watching in the far corners of the world.
If you want more kissing, find someone else. ”
I stare up at Rue, standing with wide eyes and an open mouth.
“Do you understand?”
“Please don’t walk away,” she all but begs with her hands clasped together. “Grayson will fire me for sure if I lose two of you on one date.”
“If you ever suggest I kiss someone I don’t want to, I will see that you’re fired myself. Don’t doubt that I won’t.”
Rue shudders. “Oh, I don’t.”
“We should have gotten that in the diary room,” Hasan says as he lowers his camera. I had no idea he was filming.
“I’ll say that again and again, for whoever needs to hear it,” I promise. “Did you follow Spencer earlier?”
Hasan nods. “Odin picked up him and took him back to the hotel.”
The hotel. “And then?”
“He’s still there,” Rue cuts in. “He’s not leaving unless you send him home.”
“I’m not going to send him home,” I say quietly, more to myself than either of them. I stand up, suddenly exhausted. “Let’s go. Thank you,” I call to the owner of the brewery, who is still hovering behind the bar like he has been since we arrived early in the afternoon.
It’s dusk now, and all I want is something other than beer to drink and then my bed. It might be because I’m so tired, but the brew master makes me think of Dad. Of Kalle. A rush of homesickness washes over me.
I head over to him, hand outstretched. “Thank you so much for your hospitality and for letting us invade your business for the day,” I say, pushing the exhaustion back to manage a pleasant smile.
“My father has an interest in a micro-brewery in Laandia, and this—” —I wave my hands— “—is how he envisions his place. I’ll tell him to visit and get some inspiration. ”
“The king is always welcome,” the owner stammers. “As are you, Your Highness.”
I smile warmly and shake his hand. “I’m just Lyra here.”
*
Grayson doesn’t let me pick Spencer for tomorrow’s one-on-one date.
After today, it’s obvious I need to clear the air with Spencer. The expression on his face when he saw me kissing Liam was so many things—haunted, frustrated, angry… and with so much regret in his eyes.
I’ve told him my side, and it’s time I listen—really listen—to him.
I tell all of this to Grayson and Ria after Rue drops me off.
I’m still not happy with her.
“You can’t,” Ria says in a firm voice. She and Grayson were already at the kitchen table, the whiteboard list of names as well as the remnants of Madame Carol’s berry pie tempting me.
“The sponsors expect love and drama to last for the entire season, not just two weeks before you skip off for your happily ever after.”
I’m not going to be happy with Ria much longer either.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell them, gathering a fork and the pie dish before I sit down. “But you really have to start feeding me more. At least let me eat on dates.”
“Is there anyone other than Spencer?” Grayson asks.
“Can you get through one more one-on-one date? I’m really sorry, Lyra, but we need him around for a little longer.
Viewers turn in for the drama as well as the romance,” he adds apologetically.
“We need the tension between the two of you to ramp up a little. The chemistry between you and Spencer is already off the charts and I’d really like to expand on that. ”
“Do you think that’s fair to whoever I pick for the date, knowing I would rather be with Spencer?”
“This show is about multiple men getting their hearts broken. There’s nothing fair about that. Look at it as giving someone a chance that they wouldn’t get.”
I finish my mouthful of pie. “One more solo date and then Spencer. I have to see where this is going, Grayson. This is my life.” I try out the princess voice again, the one I use when I expect to get my own way—yes, there are many situations where it comes in handy—but I’m too tired from the day’s adventures for it to be very effective.
“Which you’re sharing with the world,” Ria points out.
“Trust me when I tell you I know exactly how you feel,” Grayson says. “I’ve been where you are, and it doesn’t feel good.”
If I didn’t trust Grayson, this might be very different. “You’re very good at this.”
He smiles his blinding white smile at me. “And so are you.”
“Who do you think I should pick?” I hate myself for asking. I told myself that the picks would be my decision, and now I’m handing over control.
Or at least asking for suggestions.
“Honestly?” Grayson looks at Ria and she nods. “I say Tanner. He’s going to win over the audience in the first episode, with him being so excited about your brother, and then the stuff with Tema. And if he doesn’t win your heart…”
“You’re thinking about him for the next Suitor,” I finish.
Grayson shrugs. “I have to look for possibilities.”
“And Tanner would be a good one. He’s a sweet puppy, but I don’t think he’s for me. So, sure, I’ll take him for the next date. Do you want me to send him home after?”
“Oh, god, no. The viewers would hate you. We’ll keep him around for as long as we can.”
I nod and finish my pie. I don’t care who stays as long as Spencer is still here.