Chapter 27
Spencer
B
y the time Jon and Basher—who is a surprisingly good cook—serve us chicken fajitas for dinner, the entire hotel knows I walked out of the date.
It’s even a topic of conversation as we sit down for the meal.
A meal I have every intention of missing, but Rand won’t let me.
“You need your boys around you,” he says, forcibly pulling me out of our room.
“No offense, but these aren’t my boys.”
“But they could be. At least some of them could be. Like me. I’m your boy, and I’m not letting you sit and stew in here alone.”
“That sounds weird.”
“Plus, whatever Jon makes tastes amazing and I’m hungry and you need to eat to sop up the alcohol, so let’s go eat.”
Yes, the alcohol. Turns out the hotel has a very nice selection of bourbon, which I discovered after Odin dropped me off. “Ok, but I’m taking my bottle.”
Ashton takes it out of my hand as soon I get to the kitchen. “What do you have here?” He studies the label. “Not bad. Where do I find glasses?”
Rand produces three because I’ve been swigging straight from the bottle.
I’m more interested in the bourbon, but the smell of food finally tempts me to accept a plate. I sit quietly with a small group in the lobby, the food laid out on the reception counter.
The moon rises over the water and the sound of the waves crashing makes good background noise.
It makes me think of Battle Harbour.
I wonder what Abigail is doing. I wonder if she’ll ever stop hating me.
She might not hate me, but I’m definitely not her favourite person.
I wonder what Lyra is doing.
I regretted leaving as soon as Odin dropped me off at the hotel, if only to be able to see how she acted with the other men. If they all went along the same lines as Liam, that would be torture.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, since I know the format of the show. There is flirting and kissing, men pulling Lyra aside, and other men breaking in to steal her away. These men are trying to win her heart and they’re pulling out all the stops.
Realistically, using physical contact is a great way to push attraction into something more. If I kissed Lyra…
If I kissed Lyra when I wanted to, no one else would have stood a chance.
I stay caught up in my thoughts, not joining the discussion about the date until Phillippe turns to me.
“Why did you leave?” His Quebecois accent is stronger after he’s been drinking and it seems those in the brewery had a lot of opportunity to sample the beer while they waited their turn.
Everyone had time with Lyra.
I guess that’s only fair, but I don’t feel like being fair right now.
A quick glance around shows that Phillippe’s question grabbed everyone’s attention. I shrug.
“I don’t know how you think you’re going to get her to fall in love with you if you leave like that,” he says under his breath.
“You don’t think she’s already in love with him?” Liam asks and the table falls silent.
The question is like sticking my finger into a socket. It jars and it jolts and there’s a rush of hope that makes me feel dizzy.
But it quickly fades. “Lyra doesn’t love me,” I mutter. I can only hope she might be able to love in sometime in the future, but now? I don't think so.
“How do you know? Has she ever been in love with you before?” Jon asks.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Have you ever been in love before?” Every head turns to Ashton. He chats, he jokes, he’s an ass most of the time, but I’ve never heard him even mention the word love.
“I don’t know. I thought I was, but it felt different from this.”
“Different people, different love,” Boone says, and I’m not the only one who looks at him with surprise. I’m not sure if he’s the bad boy, or the grump because he seems like a combination of both. “I’ve never been in love before.”
“Me neither,” Dylan confesses.
“I’m in love with Lyra,” Charlie announces.
“I think I am, too,” Luc decides.
I chuckle. “No, you’re not.”
“Just because you’re—”
“You’ve known her for two weeks,” I interrupt. “That won’t even get you past the first layer of Lyra. There is so much to her that it would take you a lifetime to really get to know her. And how can you be in love with her if you don’t know her?”
“But they want us to fall in love with her,” Derrick argues.
“How do you fall in love with a person in two weeks?” Jon wants to know. “You fall in lust. You take all of that attraction and you tell yourself that it’s love.”
“But it’s really not,” Rand agrees. “Not yet, anyway.”
“The process works, though,” Leo points out. “Look at Grayson and his wife. Esme found someone in her season too.”
“Maybe they got lucky,” Ashton sniffs and helps himself to my bourbon. “I’m not lucky.”
A few of the men laugh at that. “You’re a billionaire,” Phillippe says rudely. “I’d say you’re the luckiest of us all.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” I pull the bottle back. “Money doesn’t equate happiness.”
“Says the guy who lives in a castle,” Derrick says under his breath.
I ignore that comment and make myself another fajita.
I have nothing in common with these men, other than Lyra, and that makes it strange.
Also, strangely comfortable.
I don’t have conversations like this with the princes. We rarely talk about women, never talk about love. Maybe no one has ever asked me because they thought that I’ve been in love with Lyra, and being her brothers makes it too weird.
I’ll have to ask Odin.
The others have always had a love interest in the back of their mind—Gunnar might have been in love with Stella for years without admitting it to me.
I’m friends with Edie, so Kalle might not want to talk to me about her.
I really don’t know Rand and Jon or Ashton, so it’s easier to open up to them.
Strange. Usually, I’m reserved with people. I keep to myself. Even with my friends other than the princes…
I don’t have a lot of friends.
I work. I socialize with Kalle some, and Bo, now that he’s back in town. Odin and I had a regularly scheduled squash game once a week, and I would spar with him whenever I had the chance.
I have many acquaintances since I know most of Battle Harbour by name, but not many close friends. It’s my own fault, and while it’s never really bothered me, I get the feeling that this might be the time to work on changing that.
I’m here for Lyra, but maybe I’m here for me, too.
“What do you love about her, then?” I ask Charlie later. The food has disappeared and some of group begins to dissipate into other corners of the hotel.
Like the bar.
“Well, she’s beautiful—” Charlie begins and those around me laugh.
“That’s a given,” Jon says. “Non-physical features.”
“She’s fun. Funny.”
“I get the sense that she can be a little intimidating,” Liam says quietly.
I laugh. “You have no idea. I remember once when we were at some event in Washington, Lyra overheard a politician make a disparaging comment about Laandia. She walked right over and gave him the tongue lashing of his life. And don’t bother saying anything about tongues,” I snap at Phillippe.
“She had the guy cowering, stammering out an apology in five minutes.”
“She’s brave.” Charlie smiles.
“Bold,” Rand says.
“She was fifteen,” I continue. “The king was somewhere in Europe and none of the boys were available, so they sent her to represent the family, and me to make sure everything went smoothly. She was fifteen and she was magnificent even then.”
“You’ve got it bad.” Ashton laughs. “Magnificent?”
“She is,” Liam says loyally.
“This from the guy still in la-la land because he got his first kiss.”
“Don’t really need the reminder. Did the rest of you kiss her too?” Why did I ask that? Because I really don’t want to know. I’ve been imagining the worst since I got back and that is punishment enough.
“Jealousy isn’t a good look on you,” Jon points out.
“I know, but do you blame me? I don’t understand these shows. How do the guys handle it?”
“I guess we’re about to find out.”
One by one, the lobby empties. Some of the men find their way back to the pool table, others head for the pool. It’s late, but the cocktail parties run later, and the men seem to enjoy a night off.
The clink of bottles and the laughter coming from the bar area suggests a group of them are really enjoying the night off. I could join them, but I prefer to sit here with my thoughts.
The thoughts are all about Lyra.
Jon has left to supervise the kitchen cleanup, but eventually returns with a glass of amber liquid for me.
“I’m sure I’ll regret this in the morning, but thanks.” I raise the glass to Jon before I take a sip.
“It won’t be a problem unless you get the date rose.”
“I’m not holding my breath.”
“What are you going to tell Lyra,” Jon asks, sinking into the chair opposite me. “Because you’ll eventually get a date rose.”
“I guess I’ll tell her I’m in love with her.”
It seems the simplest option, but also the most terrifying. But things have always been so complicated between me and Lyra and so simple seems best.
Jon, who is here for the same reason I am—Lyra—handles it well. “Do you think she feels the same way?”
“I honestly don’t know. We’ve always had a connection, but since I’ve been here, it feels different. More… real.”
“Real is good,” Jon muses. “Although, real usually isn’t the norm during a reality show.”
“I don’t know, Charlie really believes he’s in love with her,” I say lightly, and Jon laughs.
“I’ve never let myself experience it,” I continue, surprising myself with the admission. “I’ve always tucked it away. Didn’t let it grow.”
“Ripen.” Jon nods. “I’ve done that before. I understand.”
“How do you feel about Lyra?” I ask nervously.
Jon shrugs his big shoulders. The guy is ripped and has a perpetual scowl on his face, but he’s surprisingly easy to talk to.
“Honestly, I don’t feel much about her,” he admits.
“She seems like a good woman. But I don’t think it was the best move for me to come on here.
I don’t think it’s for me. Maybe if we were in the real world… ” he trails off.
“This is the farthest thing from the real world,” I tell him.
“And if this was the real world, she wouldn’t look twice at a guy like me.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I think you’d have a better chance than Charlie.”
“Don’t tease him, he’s in love with her.”
We laugh and the feeling of companionship is so unexpected, and so nice.
I came here with the single-minded goal of finding out if there was something between me and Lyra.
I’m finding so much more.
“Is it bad?” Jon asks suddenly. “You hear so much about the royal family, but is being a princess easy for her? Is she happy?”
“I think she loves it,” I admit. “She’s amazing at it. They all are—the whole family takes to the royal life—”
“Like they were born into it?” Jon interrupts with a chuckle.
“Exactly. They’ve all had their issues, and losing the queen was difficult to deal with, but eventually, Lyra will take on more of a role like the princes are doing.
Whatever she does will be amazing.” I smile ruefully at the thought of an older Lyra representing our country with her usual verve and vitality.
“Or maybe she’ll chuck the crown and go live on a deserted island. ”
“You sound like you really know her.”
“I like to think so. She knows me better than anyone else,” I admit. “And that scares the hell out of me because I don’t want to lose her.”
“Then don’t,” Jon says. “Just don’t.”