Ruin

13. Declan

THIRTEEN

DECLAN

The music is blaring, the bar is full when we walk into the club, and every booth has a group of men and women around them. One thing about Skyline, there is a mix of men and women here, sometimes even more women than men.

Cain is going to fucking lose it when he finds out I’ve been lying to him about my sleep. Then there’s the new messages and the fucking red dot. This meeting is going to be a fucking nightmare.

Dinner was quiet and quick. Lileah tried to talk to Trixie, but it was more of a one-sided conversation. Not even sure why Lileah was trying to talk to her, she wasn’t getting any responses. As soon as I’m bored, I’ll get rid of her.

The crazy fucked up thing about dinner is that the moment Trixie held my hand, there was something that rushed through me. It was as if she took all the fire burning around me and calmed it down. How? I have no fucking idea. She tried to pull her hand out of my grip a few times, but I held on to it, the only time I let go was when I turned to her and I could see she wanted to say something to me. If, for a small moment, I could feel anything but hurt and pain then I was going to take it.

Is it crazy to think, if I lay next to her in bed I could get a few hours of sleep? Maybe if I’m lucky, it might happen.

“You want to hit the sixth floor after the meeting?” Mason asks us all. I shake my head. I’m not in the mood for anything. “Are you going over to Trixie’s? With her nails, I’m surprised we haven’t seen the claw marks on your back.” He jokes, and I look over at him and snap.

“I think my scars would cover them.” Mason laughs as we walk into Cain’s office, and I smile when I see Autumn. Hayden is the first to give her a kiss on the cheek and say hello, and we all follow behind him. It’s because of her we’ve got Cain back into the family. I would drop everything for her without even questioning why.

“I will leave you boys to talk about whatever it is you talk about.” Autumn leaves the office to go to their apartment above the club.

As soon as the elevator doors close, Hayden talks. “He’s been lying.” He points at me, and I look behind me as Lincoln walks in to join our fun meeting.

“About?” Is the only word Cain says. Fuck, there’s the tone, the tone of no one fucking lies to me.

“Sleeping. He’s not sleeping. And-” Hayden stops when Cain puts his hand up, gets up from his chair and walks to the front of his desk. Right in front of me, his devil eyes burn into mine.

“How long are you sleeping?” he asks.

“Enough to feel like I’m okay.” I know it’s not an answer, but there isn’t a right answer for me. Cain stares at me for a moment, and I wait for him to shout, but he doesn’t, and then he turns to Hayden.

“What else is happening?” Sometimes I want to punch Cain. He’s a fucker with his poker face.

“A red dot. They could have shot him but didn’t. Why? D, give him your phone.” Hayden is pissed off, but I let them talk, and I sit down on the couch. I’m really not in the mood to be here right now.

“Are you planning on hiding here all the time, Pretty Boy?” the man I met on the first day here asks. Which feels like months ago, but it was only two fucking days ago. Two. Fucking. Days.

“I don’t feel like getting stabbed again, not just yet anyway. How long have you been here, Big Man?” I ask. I know we can’t give names, and it’s too much energy to say out his full number.

“Long enough.” He walks into the cell and leans on the wall, and glances over at my tally on the wall. “My wife was raped and murdered. She was mute so couldn’t scream for help, and I made sure the bastard who did it felt the pain, too.” His voice is calm, as if he’s talking about something simple, like sports or cars.

“You killed the man who raped your wife?”

“No, I killed his wife while he watched.” His answer makes me sit up straight. I knew coming in here I was going to meet some fucked up crazy people. But I’m not sure I’m going to meet anyone worse than him.

“And you’re here because?”

He laughs at my question, a big full laugh shaking his head. “The man is the head of one of the biggest mafia families in America. He wants my head, and right now he’s not getting it. I’ll get out of here one day, and I’ll knock on his door and tell him I want a fight. I would rather die while fighting than a bullet in my head.” He moves his hands as if I’m meant to know what the fuck he’s doing. I don’t.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Pretty boy, people here are clever. They know when to attack, and who to attack. You’re on top of their list right now. Not sure why, but I like you.” Cain’s words echo in my ear, trust your gut, and right now my gut is telling me Big Man is a good man.

“Declan,” Miles shouts my name. “You back with us?”

I look over at Cain. He’s watching me like a hawk. He’s tracking my movement and reading me. “I want to go to The Pit. Show them who I am.” My brother’s turn to me, but I don’t look at them. My eyes are locked with Cain’s, showing him I’m doing this with him next to me, or alone. “They know me. I don’t know who they are. I need to talk to someone, see if they know who it is.” Standing up, I walk over to Cain standing an arm’s length away from him. “You always told me to trust my gut, and I did. There was only one man I trusted, when he finds out who I am, he won’t betray me. That’s how much trust I have in the man.

Cain glances over at Lincoln before turning to me. The Pit knows who he is, and even knowing the risk, people will come for him.

He turns back to me. I say, “You took me to The Pit, because you wanted me to help run it-”

“You’re not re-”

“Cain, no one is ever fucking ready to take over that place, but I did everything you asked. I never lost a fight. Whoever it was could have easily killed me today but didn’t. Why? I want to know who I’m fighting.” Cain still stays quiet and looks at his watch.

“The man you trust in there. You know why he’s there?”

“Yes, and I looked up the mafia too, and I don’t blame him for being down there. Now I want to go to The Pit,” I almost demand this time, and he smiles.

“Let them know Cain Crawford is coming, with his brother,” he tells Lincoln, then turns to me. “Let’s go.”

* * *

The drive to The Pit still makes my stomach turn. I know I’ll walk in there tonight and I’ll be able to walk out when I’m ready, but it still makes me feel sick to the stomach.

“Are you sure about this?” Cain asks, as he parks the car. I watch Lincoln getting out of his car to open the gate.

“I can’t fight someone I don’t know. They know who I am, which means people in The Pit know who I am. There’s no point in hiding from them.” Yes, maybe it was a split second decision to come here and show my face to everyone, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense to do it.

Someone from The Pit knows me. What’s the point of hiding from them? Let’s bring the fight to them.

“You know you’ll always have a target on your back.” Cain turns the car off and leans back in the seat.

“I know, but I have faith in the family to have my back, plus I think they’ll come for you before they come for me.” I joke to lighten the mood in the car, because it’s a little tense in here at the moment.

“Yeah, they will. Killing the owner will get them out quicker. You’re my brother, but no one, and I mean no one, is to know you will take over once I can’t.” Cain makes sure I’m listening to him, because I know he’s being serious. But it also means he would die before letting one of us die. Even with Autumn in his life, he’s still happy to die to protect the family.

Cain nods his head for us to get out of the car, and I take a deep breath before I do. Standing by the gate, both Cain and Lincoln stand behind me, waiting for me to take a step in.

Walking in is always the hardest part, then after that I’ll be fine. Well, it’s what I keep telling myself.

The large metal door opens. The sound still makes my stomach feel sick, but I walk in with my head held high. This will be my Pit, and I can’t show fear.

Cain walks alongside me, and I hear a few people begging Cain for a fight for freedom, or calling him names, which isn’t anything new for him.

“He’s a fucking Crawford.”

“He’s the boss’s brother.”

“We should have killed him when we had the chance.”

They shout at me as I walk past their cells, but right now there is only one cell I need to go to, but Cain stops me.

“He’s in the room.” Lincoln takes the lead, and I glance over at the middle of the room, the blood which was spilled over the time I was here. You would think the thought would make me feel bad, but it doesn’t. I have to remind myself all the time, it was them or me. I chose to kill them to live another day.

Lincoln opens the door for me, and there he is.

“So, rumors are true, Pretty Boy is the boss’s brother. A Crawford.” I walk in closer to him, and he pulls me into a bear hug. The man is still strong. I believe he’s older than Cain, maybe the same age as Lincoln, but I have no idea. Never asked him.

“How you doing, Big Man?” I ask, and he looks behind me at Cain, and you can see it on his face. He’s not sure if he should say hello to him or not. Cain knows what he did for me in here, how he saved my life more than once, but Big Man doesn’t know that.

“Good. Keeping my head down.” He sits down on the chair, and I take the one in front of him. “How are you?”

“School might kill me this year, but I’m happy to be out of here.” I joke, which makes him laugh. “I did what you asked.” When he knew I was leaving, he asked me to see what was happening with the man who raped and killed his wife, the man who wants his head. “He’s about to marry for the third time. We know what happened to his first wife. His second wife, fuck, knows what happened to her, MIA. No one is saying a word, and this new wife, well I don’t even think she’s eighteen yet, but they get married next year. Other than that, he’s doing what the leader of the mafia does.” Big Man nods his head and then looks over at Cain before turning back to me.

“Thank you for finding out for me. You got a girl yet?” he asks, which makes me laugh.

Someone I’m having fun with. She’s mute. I sign, and Big Man bursts out laughing. “I know,” I say through laughter.

“Now tell me what’s happening. You’ve got a target on your back. There has to be a reason for it.”

“There is.” I look over at Cain, then back at Big Man. “A few weeks ago, I got a message. They know who I am and said they will make my family feel the loss that I have given the-”

“What?” Big Man asks in surprise. “You were a number, and getting information in and out of here is a mission on its own. Mr. Cain has done a good job of keeping this place locked up tight.” He again looks over at Cain, and I agree because it is a fucking mission to get out of here. “You get a moment of freedom. If you can climb to the top, a few have had five minutes up there.” I never climbed up the wall, mostly because I didn’t want to see anyone, and to get up there was a fight, I mean Batman trying to get out of Banes’ cage.

“We’re getting a list together of the people I killed-”

“That’s not a small list,” he jokes.

“Fuck you, smaller than yours.” I give him the middle finger, and he laughs even harder. “We’re getting the list together to see which family is after me.” Big Man leans back in the seat and folds his arms over his chest.

“I can see what people are saying around here, but again, getting information out of here is hard. The ones who get five minutes out there should be the ones you look into first. It has to be one of them, how they know who you are I have no idea, but I’ll ask around and see what I can find.” Big Man looks at me, glancing over at Cain, but only for a split second, then signs to me. You don’t look good. What’s happening?

Nothing, sleep isn’t easy. I might be out of here physically, but mentally it’s not so easy. I sign, and lean forward. “Thank you. Do you need anything?”

“Can I have something?” he asks with a chuckle to his tone.

I turn to Cain. I mean, he’s still the boss, and I’m the undercover guy. I laugh to myself at the thought of being the undercover boss.

“What do you want?” Cain asks him.

“Beer, a cold beer, that’s all I want.” Big Man tells him and stands up as Cain walks closer to him. The color drains out of Big Man’s face. He has the same fear everyone else down here has around Cain.

“You helped and protected my brother when he was here. You will get your cold beer, and if you help and find something out, which will protect him out there, I might think about letting you out.” Not waiting for an answer, Cain leaves, but I know he’s only standing by the door.

“Is he always so fucking… there is no word for him, is there?”

“No,” a simple answer, the only answer he needs to know.

“You think he means it? I can get out?”

I stand up and take a step closer to him. “If he said it, then yes, he means it. I’m going to stay here. I need to stay to show people I’m not scared.” This was the other thing I wanted to do. Now they all know who I am, I need to be here and become fearless.

“I’ve got your back,” he tells me, and I leave the room and stand next to Cain.

“Lincoln will be here, watching in case something happens.” Cain walks with me as we go down the stairs.

“How did you know?” I ask.

“Learn to read people.” Cain stops and turns to me. “I picked you for a reason, Declan. I know in a few years you’ll be able to read people, you won’t bring the fear I do to people, but when you walk into this Pit, everyone here and out there, will know not to fuck with you, because you will have an energy around you. I’m waiting for it to come out, you’re locking it away. Open the door and let it out. If you need to be here for it to come out, then be here. But it will come, and I can’t wait for the day.” Cain continues to walk down the stairs, and I follow him, wondering what door he is talking about.

The man with his fucking riddles and poker face, but he still believes in me, and I won’t let him down.