Chapter 12 - Jasper
What I was worried was going to happen has already happened. Sort of.
I always knew that my wolf was attracted to Tara; he couldn’t have made it any more obvious, and of course, he was the one who got me involved with a human in the first place.
But what I feared was that he would take over completely and force me to be intimate with Tara again.
We haven’t been intimate, but I’m struggling to control myself around her.
The other day, she’d just come back from a swim in the lake. Her hair was dripping down her exposed back, and she was wearing nothing but a two-piece bikini as she sauntered around the kitchen.
It felt like my body was on fire.
I was so close to coming up behind her and slipping my arms around her hips, holding her thin waist, and trailing my tongue from her neck to her ear.
I could almost taste her—her sweet scent already making my mouth water.
But then she turned around, and in seconds I was gone.
I could hear her calling my name, and along with the sound of her voice came my guilt. If I can’t trust myself to be around her, I have to stay away from the house.
The thing is, I’ve been away from the house often, busy with council meetings and hunts, and haven't had time to gawk over the pretty little human living in my home.
But still, the distance hasn’t been enough, I need more.
So I’ve decided to go on even more hunts.
I’ve figured out Tara’s schedule and have made sure that I’ve been around when I know she’s away. The safe times to be in the cabin are during mid-morning and very late in the evening.
Yesterday, I was exhausted, I stumbled home and collapsed onto my couch, ready for an evening of peace.
I was pretty happy with myself, leaning back with my feet up on the coffee table, looking smug.
What should I do? I asked myself.
I can do anything I want; I’m free.
I got out a book, read a couple of pages, but the book reminded me of Tara (who loves reading), and there was something in there that I wanted to talk to her about.
Something to do with war strategies, it reminded me of a conversation we had sort of recently about whether doing ‘more’ can actually amount to doing less.
I almost went upstairs to where she was sleeping to wake her up and ask her what she thought.
Then I shook my head and kept reading.
But the silence didn’t feel peaceful anymore, just empty. No sassy comments, no huffing and puffing, no complaining about how I don’t take care of myself enough—no nothing, just silence.
It’s deranged that I’ve grown to miss her.
I even miss the arguments.
I remember our latest one, she’d read something in a book, I don’t remember what it was, but somehow it got her onto the topic of human-shifter relations.
“Why don’t you build an alliance with them?” She asked me.
“Build an alliance with humans? Are you insane?”
Tara was sitting on the couch. I came home a little earlier than usual. I knew she’d be there; I was just too exhausted to avoid home.
“Why’s that insane?”
“Humans wouldn’t be able to handle what we are. They’d make war before they made peace.”
She cleared her throat. “Well, what about me?”
I wouldn’t exactly say that Tara and I haven’t been making war, but most of that has been my fault. Not hers.
“Okay, okay,” I conceded. “But you’re one person.”
“Yes,” she said. “You could also just ally with one person, one important person. Wouldn’t it be good to work together? Think about all the things you could discover, all the things you could teach the humans.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“Well, tell me then, how does it work?”
“Humans get scared of what they don’t understand, and their first reaction is to reject what they’re scared of, and that usually looks like going to war.”
“That’s so negative,” Tara scoffed.
“It’s realistic.”
“You think that’s just a human problem? Look at you with the witches. Look at the lengths you’ve gone to in order to avoid them.”
“They’ve put a curse on our land!”
Tara rolled her eyes before slamming down her book and getting up.
“And you treated me like I was nothing, but here I am making peace with you.”
Before I could respond, she was gone, her door upstairs slammed firmly shut.
I remained deep in thought after that, zoned out on the couch long into the night.
***
I feel good today.
Not as frustrated as I’ve been over the past few weeks, and finally, it’s as though my head is as clear as the cloudless sky.
The sun beats down on me as I carry out my errands for the day with ease. Meeting at one, meeting at three, training practice until six.
Perfect.
There have been no sightings of shadow monsters, and my allies report significant improvements in the land that has received our solution.
Things aren’t exactly the best they’ve ever been, but they’re not the worst either.
Then there’s Tara.
All this time apart has given me a clearer head about her, too.
Yes, she drives me crazy in more ways than one, but I’ve also come to understand that she is a good person. Maybe I already knew that before, but I feel it now.
Down to her core, Tara is caring and sweet. She genuinely wants to help—she’s been researching all about this witchy stuff for weeks now.
At first, I thought she might give it up (if I weren’t Alpha, Lord knows I would have).
But she hasn’t.
And I respect her for that.
Can’t I put on a brave face and be in her proximity without wanting to rip her clothes off, or my own head off, for at least a few minutes?
It could be just a few minutes each day, and then, depending on how I react, I might increase that until I see her as a fellow pack member.
Just a good friend, perhaps.
I’d like to be her friend. I’d say we already are.
After I’m done with training, I head straight back to my cabin.
I know that Tara will be there, and it’s the perfect time to test out this new friendship.
Just before I go in, I check my smell with two quick whiffs of my armpits.
Not great. Not awful.
Will she mind?
Maybe I should go rinse off in a nearby lake before going in… Or shower at a friend’s house?
I shake my head.
I’m going insane. She’s well used to my stench by now, and I’m heavily acquainted with her smell, which, actually, I can’t scent.
I step inside, and instantly realize that she’s not there.
Oh well.
That’s the thing about schedules; they don’t always hold up.
Might as well take a shower then.
I shower—scrubbing extra hard because for some reason I’m insecure about something I usually couldn’t care less about.
I clean the house a little, prepare some food, eat it, and still—no Tara.
I’m getting antsy, another quality not typical of me.
We’re not technically together, she’s free to do whatever she wants whenever she wants, but I can’t help but worry.
I’m really worried.
It’s like some strange protective instinct that feels even more powerful than your typical concern for a friend, or pack mate, which, as Alpha, is already very strong.
No, this is something else.
Something I feel deep in my core.
My mind flicks through all the possibilities. What if she got attacked? Or kidnapped by another wolf? What if the shadow monsters have her?
But I have to trust my guards to keep the pack safe. If I don’t, I’ll drive myself insane.
I decide that the best thing to do is to wait for her. Without knowing she’s safe, I won’t be able to sleep anyway.
But when the clock strikes midnight and she still hasn’t returned, my patience runs out.
I’ll just scent her, I tell myself, I don’t need to speak to her, but as long as I know where she is, I’ll be able to sleep at least.
Without thinking about it for another second, I get up and leave my cabin before shifting into my wolf.
Easier to smell in this form.
I scour the grounds, and it’s not long before I pick up her scent. I know exactly where she is.
I should have already known this, but it doesn’t hurt to check.
It doesn’t hurt to actually confirm, I tell myself, I’ll just go up to the library window and make sure that she’s okay.
Yeah.
Who knows, maybe she’s fallen asleep again, in which case she might need me to take her home.
Gosh.
I’m such a softie, but I can’t stop.
Once I arrive outside the library, a place I usually don’t come to this much, I see her through the window, hunched over, deep in thought.
Why is she so cute?
It’s like she does it on purpose. I love the way she looks when she’s concentrating, her face scrunches, and she’s frowning as though she’s irritated by something.
She just can’t help it.
I plan to go back to my cabin now that I know she’s okay, but for some reason, I find myself opening the door to the library.
Now I’m inside, and she looks up at me from her books.
“Oh my god, I’m so happy you’re here!”
Her face smoothens, and there’s a sparkle in her eye.
Not exactly the reaction I expected, but her face makes me smile. She’s infectious.
“You are?”
“Yes! I just read something about curses that relate to nature, specifically.
Apparently, clues can be left in the earth, particularly in areas affected by the curse, such as decay.
These clues can actually be more effective than anything else because they relate to how to stop the curse once and for all.
“I’ve just been reading all about what they can look like. Sometimes, they can even be living organisms, like little fairies or bugs, who can tell you information. Isn’t that amazing?”
She speaks so quickly that I can barely make out what she’s saying.
I don’t want to tell her that we’ve already searched for that, because the look on her face is too damn adorable.
“That is amazing,” I say, as we walk toward each other. “Do you have any idea what the clues could look like in the decay we have?”
I’m excited to see her. I feel it in my body, everything’s tense, and for some reason, undoubtedly, I'm turned on.
I want to fuck her. Bad.
“Um, well, it definitely won’t be in the form of living organisms like fairies or bugs because it’s dead land.
Actually, it’ll be harder in this case because of that, but maybe the witches could find some sort of spell to illuminate anything that is there.
I should probably talk to them, to Danielle, where’s my ph—"
She pauses. “What?”
I chuckle. “What?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
She buries her face in her hands. “Oh my gosh, I sound crazy, don’t I?”
I shake my head, laughing. It’s like I’m about to burst.
“You don’t.”
She groans. “I know I shouldn’t have had that second coffee, I just didn’t want to fall asleep again like last time.”
“You mean the time I had to save you?”
She hits my chest playfully. “Oh shut up, you did not save me.”
Then she squints, because obviously, she hurt her hand.
“Damn, Jasper, what are you made of, steel?”
I cock my head.
“Hey, at least you got a jab in there. Usually, my instincts would have stopped you.”
“Of course they would have.”
“You wanna try again?”
She shrugs. “Nope.”
A beat of silence passes between us, and before I know it, her fist is mid-air. I catch it in my hand, which throws her off balance.
Then I stabilize her as I hold my left arm around her waist.
“Easy, human, those coffees have inflated your ego.”
“Hmm,” she rubs her lips together. “Maybe just a little.”
The flush in her cheeks and the feel of her drives me crazy. Man, I could just lean down and…
Neither of us moves.
Her hazel eyes study me with what looks like wide-eyed awe.
“You should probably let me go.”
“Right,” I say. “I probably should.”
Again, neither of us moves. But her lips are slightly open, her eyes flicker from my chest to my mouth.
She’s breathing heavily, the pace of her heartbeat matching my own.
“Tara,” I murmur. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
My lips are on hers in seconds, breathing in the way she tastes.
I can’t get enough.
My hard dick presses against her as my hands travel down her back.
She groans.
I kiss around her mouth, down her neck, and then press my tongue against hers.
She moans into my lips.
Her hands travel up my shoulders, but she can’t reach my neck. She’s too short.
I lift her up and wrap my hands around her ass cheeks.
“You’re so fucking sexy.”
“I want you,” she murmurs into my ear.
As she speaks, my skin sets on fire beneath her breath. I’m so hard, I need more.
At super lightning speed, I lay her down on the library floor. I hover over her, kissing down her neck, then her breasts.
“Yes,” she groans, resting her hands on my head. “Jasper, I...”
Just her saying my name drives me wild.
I find her lips again and trail my hand down her torso, beneath her dress.
Her face scrunches, but differently from how it was before.
I can see her pleasure. Feel it too.
Even her panties are wet.
“Are you okay?” I ask her, staring deep into those hazel pools that manage to see me better than anyone else has.
She nods. “Yeah.”
We’ve latched onto one another; nothing else in this library exists.
My dick rages to feel her.
Slowly, I slip my hand inside her panties and find my way to her nub.
She tenses, her arms holding onto the back of my neck in a way that I know is powerful for her (but soft to me).
“Shhh,” I murmur, nibbling behind her ear. “Just relax.”
She nods, and I slip my two fingers inside her soaking hole.
Something inside me weakens, then.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
The smell—I can almost taste it.
“That feels good,” she whispers.
I circle my two fingers inside her, and then trace my thumb over her nub.
She screams.