10. Ryder
10
RYDER
One week later
I follow the asshole wearing a Devils Ink MC cut, hardly daring to believe what I’m seeing.
Crystal — my fucking Crystal — is with a member of the Devils Ink?
In what fucking universe did this happen? It explains everything, though, and my mind has several flashbacks to her shady behavior at trying to hide shit from me.
This is why she’s being so cagey.
Why he’s never met anyone in her family.
Why she’s fucking lying.
I don’t fucking believe it, but it’s right in front of my eyes.
The bastard comes and goes from her apartment like a revolving door, and I’ve seen them leave together.
I clench my fists around my handlebars, ready to storm in there and rip his fucking head off. This piece of shit prick sleeps with my girl?
I don’t fucking think so.
I can barely hold in my rage, but I tamper it down as I keep driving past their clubhouse. Going in there alone would be suicide, and while I might have anger issues when it comes to Crystal, I don’t have a death wish. They’ll skin me alive, and then nobody will know where I went. They may even carve my body up and deliver it to Cash as a warning. His fucking stepbrother is a piece of shit and everyone knows it, and this would be the perfect opportunity to start a war.
As much as I want to urge the rage inside of me to power on, I don’t. I have more to lose than just my life. Though right now, you could cut me open with a hunting knife and I’d be less surprised than this shocking discovery.
I ride back to the club, furious. I’ve a good mind to go to the school and drag Crystal out of class. If there weren’t little kids around, I might even do just that, but I rarely act on anger. That shit will get you killed.
Instead, I seethe all the way through town. Driving too fast — and not giving a shit — comes second nature these days. It seems I’m always angry. Crystal had me up in such a bind at dinner that I couldn’t even enjoy the weekend with Luca. I couldn’t help myself slipping out of the hotel to go past her place on my sled. I wanted her to see me. I wanted to send a message. And now she has that message, she’s in for a new realization: under my dead fucking body is she dating a Devils Ink MC member.
Now I’ve got to broach things with Cash, and that’s going to cause a little tension. It’s not like me and Crystal are together, but she’s been in this clubhouse. Cash may not know how I feel about her, but he’s about to.
I’m going to tell him that once I convince Crystal to leave that piece of shit, it could stir up trouble. Jimmy is going to retaliate, not that I’d expect any decency out of a member of the Devils Ink. They’ve been a thorn in our club’s side for years and are well renowned for their shady deals and lack of conscience.
Razor, Cash’s stepbrother, is one of the biggest drug runners in this city. The Devils Ink are a 1% club, and even with the cartel taking out half their club members a little while back, they just keep coming back for more. Every fucking scumbag wants in because Razor can pay them, but there’s a fifty-fifty chance you’ll wind up dead. We all know it’s only a matter of time before Razor is taken down, and along with him it’ll be his club members, too. That means Crystal is involved. I can’t let anything bad happen to her.
The first person I see when I head into the clubhouse is Bronco. He’s sitting at the bar, talking to Amber. She comes and goes a little bit from the club and works behind the bar. Amber is one of the few who doesn’t sleep with any of the guys. Cash likes some of his staff to do actual work, and not stir shit up just because they can.
“Well, who pissed in your cereal?” Bronco snickers.
I glare at him, then manage a smile for Amber. “Can I get a double shot of whiskey, honey?”
“Day drinking?” Amber raises a brow. “Is everything okay?”
I slump on the stool as she pours my drink. “Everything’s fine,” I mutter as she passes me my drink. “Thanks.” I throw it back, savoring the sweet sting.
Amber whistles. “I’m not going anywhere near that.” She takes off, and I swipe the bottle, refilling my glass.
Bronco’s still staring at me. “Now are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
“You won’t fuckin’ believe what I’m about to tell you.”
He sobers. “Spit it out then. Haven’t got all day.”
“Fuckin’ Crystal’s new boyfriend? He’s a member of the Devils Ink MC.”
His eyebrows lift, then they drop again. “No fuckin’ way.”
“Just saw them together, and I followed him to their clubhouse.”
“What the fuck is Crystal doin’ with a Devil?”
“How the fuck do I know? I came straight here instead of to the school to drag her out of there while she explains it to me.”
“This is the same guy from Arizona?”
I shrug. “Accordin’ to Luca, but he has no idea who the guy even is. They’ve never met.”
“Yeah, Luca mentioned it,” Bronco says. “Why would Crystal get roped in somethin’ like this? They’re bad news, Ryd. You gotta talk to her.”
“I will. I just need to think. It took everything I had in me not to storm in there and rip his limbs from his body.”
“Well, I’m up for bangin’ some Devils’ heads together any day of the week,” he says.
“I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into Crystal. She knows these assholes are bad news, and she’s moved in with one of them?” I shake my head in disgust. The longer I sit with it, the worse it gets. My insides feel like they’re ready to explode.
I don’t even know much about this patched member, or what his club name is, but I’m going to make it my mission in life to find out.
“Makes no sense, though Crystal isn’t exactly street smart. Maybe it’s retaliation because you kinda ghosted her after that night she left.”
I never told anyone about that night, but Bronco was there, and he put two and two together.
“I didn’t ghost her. I’ve told you this a million times, I did it for the greater good, because she can do better.”
“So you keep sayin’, but the only one you’re foolin’ is yourself.”
“Don’t know if you know this,” Bronco goes on. “But you’re kind of down on yourself a lot, bud.”
“I— I’m not. I just know that I can’t give her the things she wants.”
He turns to look at me. “And you determined that all by yourself?”
“You act as if you don’t know Crystal is a spoiled princess and always has been. All the kids in that family have been raised with a silver spoon in their mouths?—”
“That may be so, but they don’t act like shitheads.”
I open my mouth, then close it again. Bronco is right. He knows them better than anyone, so he’s not talking out of turn. “I didn’t say they did. But Crystal has the finest things. I can’t buy her designer shit and fancy meals, or drive her around in my shiny new truck.”
“And you know she wants those things?”
“She’s a rich kid. She won’t survive living a life of poverty like I have.”
He stares me down, a look of anger crossing his face as his eyes narrow. “You really annoy the fuck out of me, you know that?”
I pull back, astonished at his outburst. “What the fuck did I do?”
He shakes his head, sighing loudly. “Ryder, you’ve always had this thing about not being good enough. Not just for Crystal, but for anyone. I get you had a shitty home life, I wish to God it had been different for you, but don’t try and convince me that Crystal would be better off with a guy who has the right bank balance. That’s just an excuse and you know it.”
“It’s not an excu?—”
“You know what’s even more annoying?” he goes on before I can stop him. “You’re doin’ good. Got yourself a trade. Earnin’ good scratch. You’re savin’ up for your own place. You don’t owe anybody shit. And yet here you are, still playin’ the same violin of not bein’ good enough. Maybe you need to take a long hard look in the mirror.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “Don’t leave anythin’ out,” I mutter.
He slides down a couple pulls of beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Somebody has to give it to you straight before you fuck up another chance with the one woman who has always had your heart.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, still trying to get my head around his words. We’ve had some meaningful chats over the years, but nothing like this. “When did you get so fuckin’ sentimental?”
“I get vibes, feelings about shit. You and Crystal? You’re meant to be, brother.”
As much as I don’t want to keep reliving my own sob story — because let’s face it, I am like a broken record — I know he has a point. We’ve always had chemistry.
The night I took her virginity wasn’t just about that; I didn't even know at the time she was still a virgin. Our connection was like nothing else that night. She just gets me, and I get her. We may be worlds apart, but we connect on another level. One that I can’t even explain. Maybe I’m going fucking soft now, too.
“What if you’re wrong?”
He thumps me on the arm. “Do you have to be so fuckin’ negative?”
“I’m not negative,” I retort. “I’m a realist. I’m… I’m scared of havin’ nothin’ again. I’ve been down and out, and I never wanna go back to that.”
“And you won’t.” His eyes soften as he gives me a smile. “You’ve worked hard to get here, and it’s high time you start givin’ yourself some credit. If Crystal can’t see what’s inside you, then that’s her loss.”
I search his face for any signs of a joke, but he ain’t laughing. “I had no clue you were so in tune with your feminine side,” I laugh.
“Call it what you want, dick, but my momma always told me to go with my gut, and it’s never let me down yet.”
I chuckle. “Doesn’t your mom read tarot cards?”
“Yep, and she’s darn proud of it. She may have passed some of her woo-woo onto me, but I’ll gladly take that over bein’ an asshole like my dad.”
We’ve both had bad experiences with our fathers and suffered abuse. “Do you really think there’s a happy ever after for guys like us?”
“I think if we can get outta dodge from where we started and make a decent life for ourselves, then there’s hope for all of us.”
His phone chimes and he reads a text, then says, “Gotta run. Talk to Crystal.”
I feel dread in the pit of my stomach. I can’t believe she lied to me about this, too. Maybe she really does hate my guts because I didn’t fight for us. I didn’t even give us a shot. That may be the one mistake I regret more than anything I’ve done in life this far. And fixing it? I don’t even know where to begin.
I smoke when I’m angry or nervous, and occasionally, when I’ve had too much to drink. This, however? This, I can’t even begin to put into words.
Crystal is tidying up the classroom. It’s long after the bell, but there she is, re-organizing her classroom like the good woman she is. The good woman who’s involved with a 1% biker who is not even a blip on her fucking radar.
I asked Jett — the club’s Treasurer, who also helps Harlem handle security — if he knew about Jimmy, and what he had to tell me was no picnic. The fuckhead, who goes by Rifle, has a rapt sheet as long as my arm. He’s also been in jail for aggravated assault, petty theft, breaking and entering, as well as selling narcotics. Surprise, surprise. He only did five years because the charges were dropped to possession.
How the fuck did my angel get caught up in this mess?
I lean against the door jam, my arms folded across my chest as she hums a little tune to herself.
Of course, she looks like a fucking dream in a cream floaty dress and wrap-around sandals. Her long, beautiful golden hair hanging down her back in soft waves.
She only grows more stunning as the years go on.
“You workin’ overtime?”
She jumps in the air at my voice, spinning around quickly toward the door. With a hand over her heart, her mouth wide, she takes a breath and waves her other hand at me. “Ryder! For fuck’s sake, you scared the shit out of me!”
“You should be a little more aware of your surroundin’s, Sugar. There are creeps everywhere in this city.” Namely one, and he sleeps in your bed.
She’s still calming her breath as she walks toward her desk at the front of the room. “So? What are you doing here? And how do you know where I work?”
I snort. “Please, like it was hard to find out. Since you’re not gonna be honest with me and Luca, then it’s clear we had to take matters into our own hands.”
“Sneaking up on people isn’t funny, and you can wipe that smirk off your face.”
“Neither is lyin’.”
She turns to face me, her eyes narrowing, her jaw set tight. “What are you going on about now? If you have something to say, Ryd, just say it.”
“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend, or better still, one of his brothers at the Devils Ink MC what I’m goin’ on about?”
She stops in her tracks, her eyes dart to the blackboard, then she finds sudden interest in the floor. Her shoulders slump. “Oh.”
“ Oh ?” I push off the doorframe. “That all you gotta say ? Oh? ”
“I can explain.”
“Great.” I fold my arms over my chest as I walk toward her. “I’m all ears.”
“In brief? I met him a year ago, just after… well… us.”
Okay, that sharp pain in my chest, like being daggered, hurt more than I thought it would. “You just happen to run into another biker in another city? You sure you didn’t seek him out as retribution?”
She frowns, hugging herself as she takes a step back. Her voice falters and it cuts me. “Retribution? I was heartbroken, Ryd. I couldn’t tell you how I really felt because I had no idea if you felt the same way. I’d already been rejected by you once in my lifetime, I didn’t want a repeat of that. When I got back to Phoenix, I went to a bar, and he was there. It wasn’t a loud thunderclap or anything, but… he was there for me.”
There for me? As in: You weren’t.
Guilt wraps around my heart with incredible force at her admission. I hurt her. I never want to hurt her…
“Wait, he was in an MC in Phoenix?”
“Yeah, the Phoenix Ghost Hunters or something. I never went to their clubhouse or anything. I just knew he ran with them, or whatever it is you guys call it.”
Cute. Pity I’m mad at her.
“But now you’re a regular hang-out at the Devils’ clubhouse?”
“A regular hang-out?”
“Funny, never took you for a sweetbutt?—”
The slap hits right across my cheek. The sound rings through the room as Crystal stands her ground. That didn’t fucking tickle.
“I may be many things, Ryder Cane, but I’m no fucking sweetbutt, so you take that back!” She pounds on my chest and I catch her wrists, guilt hitting me from all angles.
“I di— I didn't mean it.” The words are stuck in my throat. “I’m so fuckin’ mad right now I can’t see straight. What the fuck are you doin’ with Rifle? He’s bad news, Crys. You know they’re a one percent club? They have no morals, no values, they disrespect women. He’s been arrested for assault. Assault on a woman, I might add.” I stop, unable to ask the question, because I know I will commit blue murder if she admits he’s hit her. I will go fucking ape shit.
“I didn’t know that then,” she whispers. “I didn't know they were a one percent club, Ryd, I swear. I didn’t even know what that was, and when I asked Jimmy about it, he said they didn’t do anything illegal. It was all legit.”
“And you believed him?” I snort. “For fuck’s sake. You’re in way over your head, and I’m not gonna stand by and watch this piece of shit ruin your life!”
“Firstly, I did believe him, yes, because I was brought up to take people at face value,” she spits, trying to struggle out of my grasp. “I thought I was in love with him. He gave me all the things I thought I wanted. The security, a shoulder to cry on, and yes, a little danger thrown in. But I never thought he was into?—”
“Into what? Runnin’ drugs? Guns? Prostitutes? Oh, they love their underage women over there at the Devils’ lair. The club already had a shootout last summer with the cartel, Crys. I’ll be fucked if that’s gonna be you caught in the crossfire.”
Her mouth drops slightly at my admission. I know she’s not stupid, but did she just turn a blind eye? Love? What the fuck would she know about it? That isn’t what love is.
I don’t know much, but I know right from wrong.
“He doesn’t do that! He never did anything with underage girls?—”
“Really? That’s what the Devils are. They’re scum. Wake up, Crystal. For fuck’s sake, you’re a smart girl, but you’re acting fuckin’ clueless. Businessman? He has a warehouse downtown with his fellow cronies where they store all the illegal guns and ammunition they plan on selling. Hell, they probably hoard the girls there they traffic. Does that sound like an upstanding citizen to you?” I snarl.
“Trafficking?” She pales. “No. He… he wouldn’t do that!”
“No? What about the drugs they run in and out of the state, it spreads all the way down to Mexico. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you to be his mule. That club will stoop to any level for money, they don’t care,” I say. “They don’t give two shits about you, and neither does he.”
“You don’t know him!” Is she actually trying to defend him? This is worse than I thought. “His club may be bad news, but he wasn’t always like this. He… it’s only just lately that things have been… I don’t know… strained between us. I started to ask questions, and that’s when…” She’s babbling, and that’s never a good thing.
I stare at her, my anger bubbling. I let go of one of her wrists and push her chin up so she meets my gaze. “That’s when what?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
“If I have to strip you bare right here, right now, to check for marks on your body, I fuckin’ will,” I warn. “Did he hit you, Crys? I’m only gonna ask this once.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “Please, don’t do this. We can talk, but not here?—”
“Fine. I’ll talk. Let’s go back to your place right now. In fact, maybe I can have it out with your precious Jimmy , see if we can’t get all of this straightened out.”
Straightened out being me ripping his head from his body.
She still didn’t answer the question of if he hit her, and I know from her scared expression, and the way she’s trembling, that he has. The man is dead. Fucked. Gone.
He’s a fucking dead man walking.
The only way I’m going to be able to get through the next five minutes without hopping on my Harley and charging over there to put a bullet in his brain, is making sure Crystal understands why I’m here. I want her to fucking know.
“No, you can’t come to my place.”
I run a knuckle over her pretty cheek, disgusted I’ve made her cry. But it was necessary. She needs to know I’m not kidding around. “Then you leave me with no choice.”
“What does that mean?”
“He’s never gonna hurt you ever again, that’s what it means.”