Chapter 47
And that’s it in a nutshell. Do I trust him?
Of course, I do. I love him. The last few weeks have been harder than the night that started it all.
Watching him watching me at work has been a cat and mouse game, and I’m exhausted.
So, it’s time. He needs to say what he needs to say so we can either move on or do what I want to do and get back together.
“I trust you,” I whisper.
“Then why aren’t we together again? I’ve hated this time apart; you’ve looked so fucking miserable when you’re around me. I hate that you’ve made new friends and have gone out without me. I’ve hated having an empty bed. I want you back.”
“I want you too.” It’s a simple sentence, just four words, but it means so much. To him and to me.
Saint’s beer is on the small coffee table, and he’s up against me the same way he did at the front door. “Are we done talking? Because I really want to get you naked and into bed.”
Have we actually done any talking? I don’t care about words—I want action. I want him inside me. “You know where the bedroom is.” My words are low, husky, and totally not me, but he gets the point.
Immediately, I’m lifted up into the air, giving me no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. “Shit, warn a guy, would ya,” I say with an oomph. “You’re fucking strong.”
“Nah, you’re pint-sized.” He struts down the short hallway to my bedroom, the door opens with a nudge of his foot, and we enter the dark room. The only light is the dim glow from a streetlight further down the street.
I expect to be thrown onto the bed and told to strip, but instead, he lays me on my back and kisses me.
It’s deep and demanding, but it’s also an apology.
It’s everything he wants to say but doesn’t know how to find the words.
As our tongues tangle, his hands move to my waist, pushing the fabric up my body.
Automatically, my arms rise, so with a short, unwanted break in the kiss, he pulls it over my head.
His follows, and they fall somewhere in the room.
I don’t care; all I want is his mouth back on mine.
I fall into the kiss, moaning as his fingers slide down my body to the waistband of my sweats.
I’ve never been more grateful for gym clothes, no buckles and zips to fumble with.
And Saint’s ability to multitask makes getting me naked easy.
I kick out of my trainers and use my feet to push the fabric off my legs.
It’s only then that Saint stops kissing me.
He pulls back from me, making me immediately miss the weight of his torso on mine.
“Get in the middle,” he says softly. There’s no dominance, just the aching want for me.
I scramble back, my eyes fixed on his, as he makes his clothes vanish in the blink of an eye.
I slowly gaze over the entirety of his sculpted body, the solid width of his chest and pecs covered with a dusting of dark hair.
His six-pack stomach muscles ripple as I look longingly, greedily further down to the thick, veined cock that’s standing proudly away from his body, the close-cropped hair at the base giving way to his smooth, heavy hanging balls.
I moan low in my throat as he fists the shaft, stroking the satin skin over the rigid length. A bead of precum nestles in the slit, and I need to taste him. To suckle the head before taking him my throat. “Can I suck your dick, Sir?”
Saint’s sharp inhale of breath takes me by surprise. I take my eyes off his dick and up to his face. “You don’t have to call me that. This isn’t a scene.”
“It was automatic,” I say honestly. “I didn’t even think about it.
” I shift around to kneel in front of him.
“I still want what we had as a Dom and sub, I need your dominance. It’s the out of the bedroom stuff we need to work on just as much as me being allowed to initiate this, what we’re doing now.
” Without waiting for a reply, I lean forward and take the tip into my mouth and suck.
The taste of him after all this time denying myself makes me groan and suck harder. Saint’s groan is even louder. As his fingers rake through my hair, I take him deeper, my tongue flat as he slides to the back of my throat.
“Fuck, Noah, you are so good at this. I’m not sure how much control I have. I’ve missed you so much.” His hips nudge him deeper still.
I pull off, saliva leaving a gossamer strand between my lips and his slit. “Give it to me, all of it. Don’t hold back.” My voice is raspy and so full of need that I can hardly recognise myself.
Saint’s eyes darken—even in this dim light, I can see he’s back in control. “I want in your throat, boy.”
I relax and let him take control as he pummels into my throat. I can feel myself beginning to fly. God, I’ve missed him. I feel him thicken and then pulse as he comes, pouring into my mouth. I swallow as he pulls out and coats my cheeks and chin with the rest of his cum.
“Fuck.” Saint sighs and slumps down to his knees to kiss me. Licking and cleaning my face with his tongue, feeding me the spunk.
I wrap my arms around his neck, sighing as our foreheads touch together in such a tender moment. “I never want us to be apart again,” he murmurs. “I’ll need your help to not fuck up again.”
“I know, and we’ll make it. I need to communicate better, not hide my thoughts. Instead of flying off the handle, I promise to tell you how I feel.”
Saint stands up, then with a soft touch, makes me lie down again and joins me, rolling onto his side to face me. “Can I stay?”
“I think that’s a given, especially with it being so late.” I hesitate, unsure if now is the time to bring up the question I wanted to ask when we were last together.
“What’s rushing through your head, babe?” Saint brushes my hair from my forehead, his eyes tender as they roam over my face. If I don’t tell him this, I’m already going back on my word to talk to him.
Okay, here goes nothing. “One of the reasons I was so upset and angry was because there was something I wanted to ask you. But you took things so far your way that I couldn’t ask you.”
“Yes.” The finality of his word takes me back.
“What do you mean yes, like that?”
“I mean yes, I want us to live together.”
I blink a couple of times before I can speak. “How did you know that’s what I was going to say?”
“Knox told me. It was part of his ‘why are you such a fuck-up lecture’. After you left, I went to the gym to burn off some anger.”
There’s a sad smile playing across his lips, although I can’t think why it’s a memory worth smiling about. “He likes you.” The smile hardens a little, his eyes steely.
Wondering where he’s going with this, because out of all his brothers, I like Knox the most. “He’s a good friend, I like him too.”
“As long as you don’t like him the way he likes you.”
“Don’t be daft, Saint. Knox has done nothing but encourage my relationship with you.
Stop looking for problems,” I say sharply, not ready for him to turn tonight into a shit show.
“Is this what you’ve done when any other of the men have got too close to you?
Look for a problem you know will piss them off so they leave you? ”
I expect him to snap back, to be angry with me. Instead, he frowns, concentrating on something. I hope it’s what I’ve asked, instead of a way to turn this around on to me and prove my point exactly.
“You know, you’re right. That’s exactly what I’ve done, but I don’t think it was a conscious decision. I just got bored and an argument was a way to make them hate me. Allowing me to walk away happy, knowing they’d be leaving me alone.”
“So, now we work on you not looking for an escape when you don’t understand the situation. Talk to me instead. Because you’re stuck with me now.” I lean towards him to capture his lips with mine. “I love you.”