12. Chapter 12
That kiss.
I can”t even form words because it short-circuited my brain.
After our time together, walking back in to Oakside so he could go to his appointment was difficult. All I wanted was for him to stay and keep kissing me. Though honestly, I didn’t want to make out with him where everyone could see and watch us.
Once he went to his appointment, I took off downstairs to Lexi”s office. When I got there, Paisley was sitting on the couch and Lexi was at her desk chair, talking about a patient.
“Well, I will leave you two alone,” Paisley said, standing when she saw me at the door.
“Actually, I could use your advice too. If you have time?” I want to include her because I really like her.
From what I’ve observed, she is sweet, kind, and caring. She is also a very bubbly person and I can”t help but smile when I’m around her.
“I can stay,” she says, sitting down on the couch. It’s no accident Lexi purchased it for her office. It’s a soft tan microfiber couch that is so comfortable that nobody ever wants to get up.
“This is about Zane, isn”t it?” Lexi says.
“How did you know?” I ask, shocked she can read me so well.
“I know you two just came in from the garden. I have eyes everywhere,” she jokes.
“Did your eyes tell you that he kissed me? I mean, he kissed me.” I say and both women”s jaws drop.
“Seriously!” they ask in unison.
“Yep.” I nod, smiling as I remember that kiss. Wow! Now that was a kiss I know I will never forget. It”s the kind of kiss I will be sitting on my front porch watching my grandkids playing in the yard and still be thinking about.
“Okay, start at the beginning,” Lexi says as she pulls her chair across the room so she”s next to the couch.
“Well, I was in the garden on the swing when he joined me. Though I was so lost in thought over the family dinner we had last night that he startled me.”
“What happened at your family dinner?” Paisley asks.
I give them the short version of what my mom said and how my sister stood up for me and so did her husband. Then I tell them about how I left without even acknowledging my mom.
“Good for you, standing up for yourself. I know it wasn”t easy, but it had to feel empowering,” Lexi says.
“That”s the thing. It felt great last night. Then today I doubt everything. After all, she is my mom,” I admit.
“Just because they are family doesn”t mean they can”t be toxic to you and your peace. You have to set boundaries with people like that or it will affect you in many ways.” Paisley advises me.
“I’m really starting to understand that,” I sigh. “Anyway, I told Zane all this, and he pulled me into his arms and we cuddled. It did make me feel better. Then I asked him to tell me about his family. He told me a fishing story about a time out with his dad. It was funny, and we both laughed together. But it seemed to trigger him. He put his forehead on mine and the next thing I knew, we were kissing.”
“Good kiss? Short?” Lexi asks.
“Amazing kiss, deep and pretty long. By the time we pulled apart, he had to come in for his appointment.”
Both girls squeal like teenagers, and then sigh.
“I knew he liked you like that. The kiss proves it.” Lexi nods sagely.
“Well, I like him too. But that still doesn”t resolve the matter that I want kids and he doesn”t. Even though I’m not able to have kids, adoption has been something I”ve been thinking about. From what I’ve heard from him, I don”t think that”s even on the table.”
“You need to talk to him. You can make all the assumptions you want, but none of it means anything until you hear his thoughts,” Paisley says.
“I know. Just seems my brain forgets that any time he is around.”
“Yeah, I know that feeling. Easton had that effect on me. He still does. I’ll just stare at him and my mind will go blank.” Paisley giggles.
“What if kids are a deal breaker for him? That’s what I”m worried about. Do I give up my dream of children for the right guy?” I ask.
“The right guy won”t make you give up your dream. He will be right there with you to adopt or go wherever you journey to become a mom takes you. Through it all, he’ll support you and be at your side. Don”t settle because the right man won”t make you,” Lexi says.
“I agree. But also I think men don”t always picture themselves as a dad. Especially at Zane”s age. With everything going on in his life, children aren”t even on his radar. But when guys find the right woman, they see a future and it starts to include children. So I wouldn”t write him off just yet. Take it slow and see where it goes,” Paisley adds.
“Thanks guys. I have a lot to think about. Now I need to get going, so I can get my guest room set up. My niece is staying with me this weekend and she wants to have a painting party where I teach her to paint. Oh, and there has to be cake. Her words,” I say.
“That sounds like so much fun. Maybe we can do our own paint and sip class one girls’ night. You can teach us to paint something easy. We’ll have drinks and dessert. It could be really entertaining,” Paisley says.
“Let”s do it. Just let me know when,” I say.
“Sounds good. I’ll talk to the other girls and get it set up,” Lexi says.
As I head home, the whole time my mind on that kiss. By the time I get there, I”m so damn turned on I know I won”t be able to concentrate on anything else if I don”t get some relief. Going straight to my bedroom, I close the door, making sure the curtains are closed, and strip down to my bra and underwear. Then I crawl into bed.
I pull my vibrator out of my nightstand and lie in bed. Then I think of that kiss again. Though I don”t think it”s going to take much to push me over the edge. Turning my vibrator on, I slide my panties down and put the vibrator between my legs.
Then I fantasize about how hot it made and also, what if it had happened in his room instead. If we didn’t have to stop. Taking my time, I imagine that he”s kissing down my neck and running a hand up under my shirt to play with my nipples that are as hard as diamonds. Or maybe he would reach down and found out how wet I am.
The vibrator keeps ramping things up and every muscle in my body tightens. What I wouldn”t give to hear him groan when we finds out I”m soaking wet for him. What would it feel like to have one of his thick fingers slide inside me? I kick the vibrator up to the next speed. That”s enough to push me over the edge.
My orgasm hits me hard and fast, making me groan. Once the pleasure has passed, I shut the vibrator off and lay there drained. I feel relief for the first time since the kiss.
That is until I start thinking about the kiss again, and then I”m turned on all over again. I groan because this is going to be a long night. If I”m this turned on from a kiss, what would happen if we actually had sex?
I”m not sure if I want to find out, but my body sure as hell wants to.