19. Ava
CHAPTER 19
Ava
KNOCKIN’ BOOTS
Ringing the doorbell, I step back to admire the enormous limestone mansion.
It’s got to be at least six, even seven thousand square feet, with a slick metal roof and huge steel windows that glint in the morning light.
Sally told me Lucky River Ranch is an exceptionally beautiful property, but I was still unprepared for just how stunning it is. From the moment I drove through the main entrance—it’s different from the one I used to go to Sawyer’s house—I couldn’t stop staring.
The ranch is green, lush in a way I wasn’t expecting. It’s clear the dramatic landscape of canyons, cliffs, and springs has been lovingly cared for, and my pulse won’t stop skipping at the thought of Sawyer being part of such an incredible stewardship.
Makes sense that Sawyer would take excellent care of his family’s land. Look at the way the man cares for his family.
The way he cares for me . Even while we were sexting the other night, he made sure I came first. He turned me on, but I could tell he was careful not to make me uncomfortable. He constantly asked you like that? Or is that too much?
Oh, cowboy, I’d wanted to text back, it’s never too much. In fact, with you, I’m discovering it’s never enough.
I blink, yanked from my daydream when a gorgeous blonde woman opens the door.
“Ava! Hi! I’m so glad you could make it. I’m Mollie Luck. Please, come in.”
“Your ranch is gorgeous,” I say as I step inside. “And this house! Wow.”
“Aw, thank you.” Mollie is dressed to the nines in a long blue dress and big earrings, the bracelets on her arms clacking as she crosses those arms over her chest. “Cash and I prefer his cabin. It’s much cozier. But the New House has actually come in handy as Bellamy Brooks’s temporary headquarters in Hartsville. Well, at least until our new studio down the road is done. I’m so thrilled Sally sent you our way.”
I grin. “Y’all make the prettiest boots on earth. I’m so excited to treat myself to a pair.”
Mollie clasps her hands underneath the slight swell of her pregnant belly. “I’m so excited you’re here. C’mon, I’ll show you our lineup.”
Following Mollie down a flagstone hallway, I can’t help but grin at her adorable little waddle. Sally told me Mollie and Cash had quite the whirlwind romance. Apparently they had absolutely hated each other when they first met, but two months later, they were engaged. Two months after that, they were married, and now they’re expecting.
I definitely feel a pang of … something seeing her cute little baby bump. I didn’t love being pregnant. But I do love having siblings, and I always thought I’d have more than one kid for that reason.
Now, though? I’m not sure I could go through all that again. Babies really make you aware of the deficiencies in your marriage. The things you could sweep under the rug before—the shit you convinced yourself you could tolerate—is no longer tolerable with a tiny new human in the mix.
Before June was born, I was able to keep the house clean and cook all our meals and still have time left over for myself. But once I was up three times a night to nurse while also changing a truly shocking amount of diapers, and washing pump parts multiple times a day, and taking June to all her appointments at the pediatrician, I had zero time to do anything remotely fun or enjoyable.
Dan, meanwhile, was able to continue watching his football. He still played golf every Saturday. He slept through the night and returned to his job five days after June was born, tired but able to function.
It became painfully apparent how unequal our marriage was. When Dan refused to even the scales, I knew I had to leave or I’d drown in resentment and rage.
That being said, I really would love to give Junie a sibling. A sister, if I could choose. Sometimes I feel a tremendous amount of guilt knowing that probably isn’t going to happen.
Sometimes, like now, that guilt feels a lot like grief.
But I didn’t come here to wallow in sadness over the things I’d lost or might never have. I’m here to celebrate my wins. And there have been a lot of them lately—Junie’s having an awesome first week of school, work is going well, and we’re slowly but surely establishing our “village,” as Sawyer called it, here in Hartsville.
So when he asked me out to dinner, I figured I’d treat myself to new boots to wear on our date. I’d admired Sally’s pair of Bellamy Brooks cowboy boots for months now. She set up a date for Mollie and me to meet so I could pick out my own pair.
“I hear you have a hot date with Sawyer.” Mollie turns, and we enter a large room with soaring ceilings and windows that overlook a grove of huge oak and sycamore trees. “We’re thrilled he’s finally putting himself out there. He’s such a great guy.”
I’m not surprised Sawyer keeps mostly to himself. I am surprised he hasn’t been approached by more single, lonely preschool moms like myself.
“He really is,” I say. “I’m not sure I’ve ever met a guy who’s so … thoughtful. And kind. And generous. And, yeah, hot.”
Mollie laughs, turning on the lights. “Cowboys, man. They’re a whole different breed, aren’t they?”
“Truly.”
“So do you have any idea what you’re looking for?” Mollie gestures to the far wall, where racks and racks of the most beautiful cowboy boots I’ve ever seen are stacked almost to the ceiling. “You want practical? Fancy? Colorful, or maybe more classic?”
The breath leaves my lungs as I cross the room to get a better look at the boots. “Can I have one of everything, please? Mollie, these are exquisite.”
“Thank you.” The pride in her eyes is obvious as she runs a hand over a metallic purple pair of tall boots. “We’re really proud of what we’ve built.”
“Hell yeah we are! So this must be the gal who caught Sawyer’s eye.”
Turning, I see a petite red head enter the room. She’s holding an open laptop on her arm, and she’s wearing one of those thick knotted headbands that would look ridiculous on me but is absolutely adorable on her. It matches the red suede boots she’s wearing, which are trimmed with a line of fluffy red feathers down the side.
“I’m Wheeler, Mollie’s business partner and true soulmate. Don’t tell Cash.” She crosses the room to hold out her hand. “I’ve already heard so much about you, Ava.”
“You have?” I laugh, my face flushing with heat. Sawyer’s been talking about me? So has Sally? I’m more flattered than I should be. “It’s nice to meet you, Wheeler.”
“It’s actually really cute how obsessed Sawyer is with you.” She sets down the laptop on a nearby desk. “He’s so freaking excited for your date, I can’t even begin to tell you. Actually, he won’t stop telling all of us about it.”
Grinning, Mollie shakes her head. “He wants everything to be perfect. I hope y’all have the best time.”
“I hope y’all knock boots,” Wheeler adds. “Preferably while you’re wearing a pair of ours. Which ones do you like?”
“All of them.” I put my hand on the almond-shaped toe of an ivory pair. “I’m in love with these. Weird if I say I’m kind of in love with y’all too?”
But I’m definitely, unequivocally not in love with Sawyer. I like him, yes. So, so much. That alone is terrifying. I can’t think about anything beyond that without my vital organs doing several unpleasant backflips, the kind that happen when you hit unexpected turbulence on a plane.
But this thing with Sawyer, whatever it turns out to be, is a hell of a lot of fun right now. How could I not enjoy the freedom he gives me to just be myself? The more I think about it, the more the realization crystallizes that I never had this much fun with Dan.
He never embraced my free-spirited side the way Sawyer does.
Wheeler loops her arm through mine. “The way you’ve lit Sawyer up, I think we’re all a little in love with you.”
My heart thumps. “He wasn’t lit up before?”
“Ella always lights him up, of course,” Mollie explains. “But from what I understand—I’m relatively new around here too—he’s had a bit of a rough road. Cash says Sawyer is the one who took their parents’ deaths the hardest. He’s always putting everyone else first. I’m glad he’s changing that up now that you’re around. He seems …”
“Relaxed,” Wheeler says. “Less anxious.”
My chest glows at the compliment. Even as I feel like I don’t necessarily deserve it. Isn’t he putting me first whenever we’re together? I try to return the favor as best as I can, but he can be so overwhelming in his desire to please, to nurture, that it’s not an easy task.
Oh, you poor, sweet, sexy-ass cowboy. I’m gonna show you the best time ever on Saturday.
“Aw, thanks for saying that,” I say. “You guys sure know how to make a gal feel good.”
Wheeler gestures to the wall of boots. “It’s kind of our whole job. So, Ava, talk to me about your ideal vibe for Saturday night.”
“Oooh, this is fun!” Mollie claps her hands. “I don’t want to give away too much?—”
“So you know exactly what Sawyer is planning,” I say, blushing even harder. I’m going to kill this man.
And after that, I am going to kiss the shit out of him.
“I do. He required some of my, how shall we say it? Expertise in certain areas.”
Wheeler shrugs. “Told you he wanted everything to be perfect.”
My heart is in my throat now. He’s putting a lot of effort into this date.
Like, a lot.
Part of me wants to run for the hills. Sawyer doesn’t fuck around. He likes me.
But if I’m being honest, I like him too. How could I not? We’ve covered a hell of a lot of ground in the short time we’ve known each other.
Which is slightly terrifying if I think about it. I already feel all mushy and tender inside. I already can’t wait to see him again. When I ran into him at drop-off this morning, I couldn’t stop smiling after he cracked an innocuous joke that was actually very dirty—one about his coffee not being as good as it was the other day.
He ghosts me now, it’ll hurt.
He disappoints me down the road after I fall head over heels in love with him—maybe he, I don’t know, suddenly decides he isn’t so into my wild side—it’ll absolutely destroy me.
It’s not just me anymore I have to look out for. June is part of this too. So is Ella. Sawyer and I don’t have the luxury of falling apart if—when—shit hits the fan.
But God, does it feel good to be this excited for a date. I always thought my early twenties was when the magic would happen. And magic did happen in my mid-twenties, when I had June. I just wish someone had told me that the best was yet to come—that life doesn’t end after you get married, or have a baby, or go through a divorce.
In many ways, that’s when my life really began. My life, the one where I get to be unapologetically who I really, truly am.
“She’s going to need to be warm,” Mollie is saying.
Wheeler taps a finger against her lips. “Warm, but cute. Like a cute, cozy, snowed-in-at-a-cabin vibe.”
“Honey, that’s your story,” Mollie says.
“Oh?” I ask. “This sounds interesting.”
“That’s another story for another time.” Wheeler waves her hand. “Okay, wait, Mollie—do you still have that Pendleton coat? The tan one, with the yellow and coral and black pattern all over it?”
Mollie gasps. “Ohmigod yes ! The blanket jacket! Which she can use as a jacket or?—”
“Duh, a blanket after Sawyer strips her naked.”
“Perfect! You’re a genius.” Mollie waddles across the room. “With some jeans and, like, a great slouchy sweater in that coral color to match the coat?”
I hold up my hands. “Whoa whoa whoa, y’all don’t need to lend me clothes or anything.”
“But we want to,” Mollie calls over her shoulder as she enters what appears to be a bathroom.
Wheeler puts a hand on my forearm. “This is fun for us. It’s not often that we miss Dallas—that’s where we started Bellamy Brooks. But we do miss the shopping and the clothes and the fashion. If you’re okay with it, we’d love to style you.”
“I’m definitely okay with it.” I chuckle. “I just don’t want to put y’all out.”
“Never.” Wheeler turns back to the wall of cowboy boots. “Okay, with this look, I’m envisioning something classic with a twist. Maybe echo that coral color? Ah! Yes! This gal.” She pulls a tan pair off the wall. They’re mid-calf boots, with an almond toe and coral-colored stitching on the toe box and up the sides.
“I love them,” I breathe, reaching out to run my fingers over the butter-soft leather.
“What size are you?” Wheeler looks down at my feet. “Nine?”
“Good guess.”
“Lucky for you, Mollie wears the same size, so we always have samples in a nine.” Wheeler tips the boot over to look at the sole. “Yep, that’s it. Let’s try it on.”
Mollie emerges from the closet. She’s carrying the prettiest patterned coat I think I’ve ever seen, along with a V-neck sweater in a bold shade of coral.
My pulse flutters as the outfit comes together in my head. It’s going to be fabulous. I’m not even wearing it, and I already feel prettier than I have in years.
I don’t typically buy stuff like this for myself—working with horses and/or toddlers all day means my wardrobe is pretty utilitarian—so it’s a thrill to try it all on, along with the boots.
Mollie guides me to the full-length mirror beside the desk. Taking in my reflection, I smile. Hard.
“Aw, sweetie, you look gorgeous.” Wheeler gives my hair a fluff, pushing it over my shoulder. “Sawyer’s not going to be able to keep his hands off you.”
Mollie smiles too. “Exactly what we were going for. I think you’re all set, Ava. Now go get your cowboy.”