Chapter 18
Chapter
Eighteen
Edith
I wave at my dad as I enter the terrace of Alexander’s restaurant. The outside area spots a range of rattan furniture and huge umbrellas as it overlooks the canal, but my smile is because of the man who is now standing to greet me.
He kept his promise of having dinner with me, and the moment he called, I was heading out of the door before he’d even finished the conversation.
So much has happened since the night of his party, and it will be nice to have some quality time with him to help take my mind off the chaos that it’s in.
“Edith, darling.”
“Hi, Dad.” I hug him and take a seat in one of the chairs. “I’m sorry I’m late. I had to stop at the bank.”
“Not to worry. I’ve not been here long myself. How was work?”
“Crazy.”
“But that’s good, right?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
He smiles. “Well, I may not be able to help with treatments, but if you need anything else then don’t be afraid to ask.”
“Thanks, Dad. I appreciate that.”
He hands me a menu, and a waiter appears at our table. I order some skinny fries and a diet coke as I’m not feeling that hungry while Dad goes all out with glazed duck and all the trimmings.
“So, what have you done with your day?”
“I’ve just got back from Leeds, I was attending a meeting.”
“I thought you were meant to be slowing down now that you’ve retired.”
He chuckles. “Tell that to your Uncle Henry. He has a little business he wanted me to look over, and I thought with Lorna busy all day, I’d head up there and take a look.”
“It was so nice to see him at the party. It’s been way too long.”
“It has. We should all get together more often. He’d love to see you more.”
I smile, thinking back to the days when I was a little girl and dad and Harry used to take up the whole dining room table with paperwork and whiskey. They’d done less work and more reminiscing the older I got, and I used to love the weekends where I was allowed to stay up an hour later to spend time with them.
It all changed once dad had started dating Lorna.
“That would be nice.” I look up at the waiter and thank him when he returns with our drinks.
“Speaking of seeing people: I was thrilled to see that Joel came to the party. I’ve not seen him since… Well, since his disagreement with Lorna. He’s looking well, don’t you think?”
Flashes of Joel’s naked body race through my mind.
“He’s, erm, looking good, yeah.” I almost choke on my words. “He’s doing okay. He was a little apprehensive about coming, but we had fun,” I say, taking a sip of my Coke .
“Did you, though? Because your abrupt exit would say otherwise.”
Shit.
“I’m sorry, Dad.” I smile flatly, shame creeping over my body as I run my fingers down the condensation of my glass.
“Lorna said you were feeling unwell. Although, if I were a betting man, I would say it had something to do with Leon.”
I flash my eyes at him. His are deep with concern, causing my stomach to twist. Feeling so fragile at the moment, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold my tongue as I’ve always felt I’ve had to do.
“Did you not think to tell me he was going to be there?” I murmur. “Because a little warning would have been nice.”
He stares at me as if I’ve asked a ridiculous question. “I never told you because Lorna said you knew. She said she’d told you the day she visited you at the salon to give you your invitation and you were fine with it.”
“She never told me, Dad,” I say sternly as anger covers my chest with the lies she has told. “She never gave me an invitation either. Joel had to inform me of when the party was. ”
“Well, there must have been some misunderstanding.”
Fuck it.
“No, Dad. This wasn’t a miss understanding. It was clear from day one that Lorna never wanted me there, and you can’t deny that either. Inviting Leon was just another way for her to hurt me.”
“I don’t think that was her intention—”
“That was her every intention. We all know I’m not her favourite person. She would have told me otherwise. And do you think I’d want to be in the same room as my cheating ex? I left because of him.” There is so much more I could say, but it would only make me lose my temper, and that wouldn’t be fair on Dad, no matter how much I need to scream at him that his wife is a bully and he’s too blind to see it. So instead, I draw my eyes away from him and look across the water, trying to find the little inner peace I have left inside as I swallow the lump that’s lodged in the back of my throat.
The sound of chatter grows louder around us as our silence fills the space between, and I can feel my dad’s eyes burning into me with every second that ticks by.
“Is that what he did to you?” His deep voice, now troubled and angry, cuts the tension .
I nod, looking back at him. I don’t wish to get into a conversation about this again because the less said about Leon the better, but I also need answers.
“I found out the hard way and caught him—not that there’s an easy way to find out something like that.” I sigh.
“When?”
“It doesn’t matter when. The fact is it happened, and he broke me.”
Dad’s hand covers mine and it warms my heart. It’s not often we get this quality time together, and the last thing I want to do is be in a different headspace. “I’m so sorry, my darling. I truly am.”
“It’s okay. It was just a shock to see him again that’s all. Although, I don’t understand why he was even at the party to begin with.”
A mix of anger and remorse covers his face, and I know what is about to come next is not what I want to be hearing, especially as he slides his hand from mine and sits back. “Why was he there, Dad?”
He takes a mouth full of his water before placing his glass down. It’s only then I notice his jaw muscles moving, and I can’t work out if he’s pissed because of what he now knows or if there’s something else.
“Something has happened at the bank, and he wants some legal advice before he hires a representative. Lorna has offered to help him any way she can.”
My stomach drops. I thought I’d seen the last of him when I left on Saturday night. Now I learn he’s making deals with the devil.
“How lovely of her,” I say sarcastically.
My heart is raw with the emotional impact it’s had in the past few days, and I question if it will ever end because I’m seconds away from screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to give me a goddam break.
Lorna had known her game plan all along, and she will no doubt love seeing me suffer the longer Leon is around.
“Edith, I want you to know I had no part in his return.”
“It’s okay.”
“But it’s not, though. Lorna told me that you knew. You should have never had to find out like that.”
“Can we not talk about this anymore, please?” I say.
He doesn’t have a chance to answer because thankfully the waiter arrives with our food.
In the next few minutes, I stew over the conversation and wonder what sort of trouble Leon has got himself into and why, of all people, he’s gone to Lorna for help. I don’t trust either of them .
I look up and watch Dad, who is tucking into his meal. At family dinners I’m always on edge and don’t always take note of what’s going on, and so as I watch him, anxiety twists my stomach.
For the first time, I notice dark shadows under his eyes. His once dark brown hair now, is now smattered with grey. He looks tired, but not in a sense where he needs a good night’s sleep: tired as if he’s carrying more on his shoulders than he’s letting on.
Life at home can’t be a bed of roses, and I question now whether there are things he’s hiding just as much as I am from him.
“Is there something else on your mind, Edith? You’ve barely touched your fries,” he says with a smile before taking a drink.
I hadn’t been overly hungry before I arrived, and my appetite is less now than ever.
“Are you happy, Dad?” The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them and he looks just as surprised at hearing them as I am at saying them. But instead of answering my question, he uses me as his excuse.
“Of course. But what makes me happier is seeing my daughter happy. That’s all I want for you.”
I think about the times we used to have together, when it was just the two of us. As a little girl, I used to tell him everything and never worry about what came out of my mouth. Yet over the years, I’ve been made to feel like my words never matter. And I know that’s not down to Dad: it’s the influence of Lorna and her narcissistic ways.
How can I tell him I’d be happier if Lorna wasn’t in my life? I may hate her, but I would never put dad in that situation. But Daisy and Joel are right. I’ve sat back for too long and put up with her victimization.
“Edith, it may not seem it at times, but I will always be there for you no matter what. You know that, right?”
“I know. But at times…” I place down the skinny fry I’ve been rolling between my fingers and sigh. “You said seeing me happy makes you happy. But the truth is, Dad, I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a long time, and this goes way beyond my relationship with Leon. Lorna is the reason behind it. The way she speaks to me. The way she treats me—”
“Darling, we both know Lorna has her ways.”
“But her ways with me are never witnessed by you. Yes, you hear some remarks and at times you pick her up on them. But when you’re not around, she is worse. She belittles and humiliates me. She makes me feel like crap, Dad. I’ve never been good enough in her eyes, and she makes me feel like I’m not wanted.” Tears fill my eyes and I exhale a shaky breath, the weight now lifted from my shoulders after voicing what I’ve remained silent about for years. There is so much more I could say, but I stop because the look in his eyes makes my stomach knot.
Now I’m panicking with the idea that I’ve said too much.
The last thing I’d wanted was to put him in a difficult position. Lorna is his wife, and I respect that, but I’m his daughter. I should be just as, if not more, important to him.
He’s silent a moment, a little crease forming on his brow as he stares down at his plate.
Clearing his throat, he finally looks at me. “I’ve witnessed some remarks, yes. And I know she can be frosty at times. But I had no idea she was causing you to feel this way. I’m sorry, Edith. I will talk with her. I promise.”
“I don’t want it to cause trouble between the two of you. That’s not why I said it.”
He smiles but it doesn’t meet his eyes. “I know. But I will sort it. I won’t have her upsetting you.” Retaking my hand, he grips a little tighter.
“Your feelings will always matter to me, Edith. You are my daughter and a precious one at that.”
His words cause my heart to stop and restart all over again. Just hearing them makes a lump form in my throat.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Dad clicks his fingers to signal the waiter and our dishes are cleared in seconds. He shifts seats, coming to sit closer to me. “Now, dry your eyes. No more talk of Lorna. This is our day, and we are here for a reason.”
Reaching inside his suit jacket pocket he pulls out a small, black leather box and places it on the table, staring at it with a soft smile before looking at me.
"I wanted to give you this on your birthday, but with the party it was never the right time. I’m sort of glad I never did because it means I can share this moment with you.” He slides the box towards me the smile now reaching his eyes.
When I open it, a little gasp leaves the back of my throat as I examine the thin, silver necklace that lays prominent against the black cushion and twinkles in the light. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this item of jewellery.
“Dad…”
“I didn’t know what to get you. But then remembered this and knew it was perfect.”
"This was Mum's," I whisper.
"It was. She had lots of costume jewellery, but she had a secret love for sparkles and white gold. As you know, this was her favourite, and I would like you to have it."
I look up at him. "But don't you want to keep it to remember her?"
He smiles, and it’s as though he’s remembering her wearing it. "I remember your mother in my heart. Just because I don’t talk about her like I once did, doesn’t mean she is forgotten. She was the love of my life, but I'd love nothing more than to know you have something of hers that she adored so much. You can wear it or simply keep it in the box, but it’s now yours."
"Thank you, Dad." I smile. “It’s beautiful.”
“I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but I’m proud of you, Edith. I always have been. And I know if your mother were here now, she would be, too.”
Tears fill my eyes once more. Dad rarely talks about my mum and when he does, it’s never when Lorna is around. It’s like he can never go to that part of his life in front of her. But what grips my heart more than anything is the sparkle in his eye when he does talk about her. The one only I can see.
“I wish I could have met her,” I whisper.
“I wish that, too. She would have loved you very much. You would have been a great credit to her.”
“Do you miss her?” I can’t help but ask.
He focuses on the necklace for a moment before a sad smile forms and the ache in my heart is unbearable when tears cloud his eyes and he murmurs, “More than you’ll ever know.” This time it’s me that takes his hand with a squeeze when he adds, “When you find that true love, like I found with your mother, make sure you hold on tight.”
“I love you, Dad.” That is all that escapes from my lips as I hug him.
I feel like he’s broken my heart for all the wrong reasons. We’ve talked about my mum often over the years, but I’ve not seen him like this before which only makes the alarm bells ring. At the same time, my mind goes straight to Joel, knowing what I need to do.
For now, though, I’m going to cherish this moment with Dad because it might be the only one I get for a while.