25. Tennant
Lio sleeps cuddled up on me, his soft breaths ghosting across my skin. His weight is barely noticeable as I hold him close.
Never did I think I’d be here. Hollis was, and always has been, my end goal.
After him…every single lover I acquired has been a bonus.
I’ll care for and protect what’s mine, because that’s how I’m built.
It’s how Cristian was able to snag me for so long.
He snuck in before I even realized what, or who I am, managing to gain loyalty and devotion he didn’t always deserve.
How far I’ve come from the younger version of myself.
Now, I have people who I consider mine for entirely different reasons.
Including the Boy in my arms who calls me Daddy.
The honor of that…the trust he’s giving me…
Fucking hell, I think this Boy has broken me with his stupid feels whisperer title.
But if that’s what he needs? I’ll give it to him. So he can continue being Death.
Lio stirs, his body stiffening, as if he’s realizing, upon waking, where he is and what happened.
He sank so fast and deep into his Littlespace in the bathroom that he didn’t fully process where we were.
Now? It’s not so easy for him to let go and ignore the grown-up shit that comes with breaking your own heart.
I tighten my arms around him as he props himself up to watch my face. “Hi,” he says, soft and shy, still Little, but as he stares at me with those dark emerald eyes, I can see he’s not as deep in that headspace as before.
“Hi, Baby Boy. Good nap?”
He nods. Chewing his lip for a moment, he looks worried, before saying, “Thank you, Daddy. For being here.”
Reaching up, I brush some of his hair from his face, enjoying the way he turns into my touch, his lips skimming across my palm.
“Always. I’ll be here whenever you need me, Little Monster.”
Tears fill his eyes. “But you won’t… Not when you know what I did.”
“Let me be the judge of that. You don’t get to decide what your Daddy can or cannot handle.”
His bottom lip wobbles. “I… Fuck! I messed up, Daddy. Sir…Hollis…he’s never going to forgive me.”
I tighten my arm around him until he lets out a small gasp. “Hol is stronger than he thinks. He loves you, Baby Boy. Nothing you say can, or will, change that for him.”
He shakes his head, tears falling fast down his face.
“Not this. I…I gave him an ultimatum. I tried to force his hand, even though I know it’s not my place.
But… But…I don’t want to be just this anymore!
” He pushes against me and I let him go, watching carefully as he scrambles up, gesturing to himself.
“I can’t just be his Puppy…or even your Baby Boy.
As much as I love it. I need to be a Council ruler too. I am Death.”
I sit across from him, ignoring my instincts to reach for him, trusting he’ll ask for help when he needs me. “You are,” I agree. “It’s part of the reason we love you so much.”
He sniffs. “I just wanted him to listen.” His voice is so soft and small.
“I needed to know he saw and heard me, but maybe I was fooling myself the entire time. Maybe…maybe it was like when Master asked me to marry him to unite the Families. Hollis only wanted what I could give him, and now he doesn’t anymore because I’m too much work.
I'm not the perfect submissive he thought I was.”
Lightning fast, I move over to him, gripping his chin firmly in my hand, knowing he’ll have bruises, but not giving a shit.
“You are so much more than your submission. I see it, and Roman sees it. So does your Master and your Owner. Especially, your Owner.”
He shakes his head. “Then why didn’t he listen?”
I sigh. Releasing his chin, I reach down for his hands, holding them firmly in mine. “Your Owner is trying to hold on to control, because his world is spinning out of line with what it once was.”
“And I made it worse.”
I shake my head. “No, Emilio. You didn’t. I wish you would have talked to me first, so we could have come up with a plan together.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I understand if you’re mad at me too. For not talking to you, and for hurting my Angel.”
I squeeze his hands until he winces. “I’m not mad at you, Baby Boy.
Disappointed you didn’t talk to me first?
Maybe. I’m your Daddy, it’s what I’m here for.
But I’ll let this one slide because you didn’t know that was an option.
Next time something like this crops up, you’ll know to come to me, won’t you?
Because if you don’t…you’ll get punished. ”
He squeaks, his cheeks flaming red. I don’t worry that I’ve gone too far. Not when he nods rapidly. “Yes, Daddy,” he whispers, lowering his head a little.
“Good Boy. Now, as for your Owner…he doesn’t hate you either. He’s more disappointed with himself for not being what you need. Hol takes failure seriously, and to know he let you down? That you were so hurt by him that you had to throw out an ultimatum? He’s…struggling.”
“I didn’t mean to! I just… I wanted him to fucking listen! I need my Owner and my Daddy and my Master! Now, I've fucked it all up, and I’ll probably only have my Master.”
“Hush.” I squeeze his hands again. “It’s your turn to listen now.”
Lio sniffs and stares at me with wide, tear-filled eyes, but he nods.
“You’re listening?”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I know you don’t like to repeat yourself, so I’m listening.”
“Good.” I take a moment to gather my thoughts, to figure out correct the words to say, because my Boy’s happiness is hanging in the balance here, and like fuck am I going to allow him to lose pieces of himself in order to please everyone.
“You’re not responsible for Hollis’s actions, nor are you responsible for anyone else’s. Yes, you should have come to me, but you didn’t know. It’s clear now, though, right?”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I’m not used to talking about feelings. It’ll never be my forte, but I’ll remember, and try to be good.”
“That’s all Daddy asks. I’d hate to punish you when you’re already having big emotions, but I will because I need to know you’re listening to me.
Hollis…he struggles with letting go of control because he didn’t have any for so long.
I know the same could be argued for your Master, but I think we both agree he’s trying now, right? ”
“Yes. Master…he’s come so far from when I first met him. He…he’s still my Master. I need him—he’s my soul, and I was dying without him. I’m sorry for that. That I wasn’t what you wanted without him.”
“Hey, none of that, okay? I know how it feels. I couldn’t imagine losing Hollis. You handled being away from him far better than I would have.” Leaning forward, I press a kiss to his forehead. “You don’t have to apologize for needing him. I know you love me, and Hollis, and Roman.”
“I do. I love you all so much. I…I don’t want to ever choose. But if I had to? I’d choose myself—you and Sir taught me that.”
“I am so fucking proud of you, Little Monster. That’s all I want, for you to be happy and know your worth. It’s why, as hard as it was for Hol to hear, he needed you to be honest with him.”
“But…where does that leave us? He…I want my Owner. I need him…”
I bite back a sigh as I reach up and wipe tears from his cheeks.
“Your Owner won’t hold anything you said or did against you.
He…is going to be with Javi and Doc for a few days.
” He gasps, fresh tears falling. “I should have pushed the issue months ago, when he first hurt himself again, but there was too much going on. Roman was hurt, we had just lost our home, and the old Bosses were falling apart in front of our eyes, but still. If anyone is to blame, it should be me. For not realizing how badly Hollis was struggling.”
“No! You’re perfect! Sir will understand. You…you’ve both had a lot going on.”
“And you haven’t?” I raise a brow, enjoying the sheepish look on his face as he realizes he walked right into a trap. “It’s nobody’s fault. Things have… Everything’s been fucked up since the old Bosses were taken, but we’re fixing it, right? We’re on track to being better than before.”
“Yes, Daddy. I…I love the Council. Working with Roman and Carter is better than I ever thought, even if I didn’t know I wanted to be a leader. Even though I haven’t been around much, I do enjoy the work, and am proud of what we’re building.”
“Because the three of you are perfect together. You’re shining in your role, being Death, and embracing all sides of yourself.”
He swallows. “That’s hard. Being honest, showing parts of myself I wasn’t aware I had. I…Papa Bear and I dabbled a little in the nursery, but I didn’t like it. Or I didn’t think I did. But…”
“But you let yourself go with me,” I finish for him. “You showed me what a sweet and cuddly Little Boy I have.”
“I want to be that, Daddy. But, Sir…”
“He’ll come back from his time with Javi and Doc stronger than before, with more tools in his arsenal to handle everything he’s dealing with. You trust them, don’t you?”
“Yes. They really helped me. I am…steadier than I was. Not perfect. I was struggling before you found me in the bathroom. But I…didn’t have any suicidal urges or thoughts.”
“I’m sorry you were hurting, but thank you for sharing. I’m always here for you. Hollis and Sandro, too. All three of you are mine, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. When Hollis is out of the medical wing, I’ll even stand by your side when you talk to him, if you want?
That’s how much I mean it. I’ll be there as you and your Master and Papa Bear find your footing again.
Nothing you ask of me is too much, Lio. Just like nothing you ask of your Owner is too much.
I know he hurt you, and that’s something you’re going to have to work out with him, but you don’t have to do it alone. ”
“You really think we’ll be okay? That my Angel will forgive me?” He sounds so lost and vulnerable, I can’t help but pull him into my arms.
“He will. But you two need to talk, really talk. And listen. Don’t worry about it now, though. You have time to take some space away from each other and reevaluate what you mean to one another.”
“And you’ll be there, right?”
“Always, Baby Boy. Always.”
I hold him in my arms for a while, until his tears dry against my skin as he keeps his face buried in my throat. Finally, when he’s soft and quiet again, I press a kiss to his hair.
“Daddy got you a present, Baby Boy. Do you want it?”
He pulls away, his eyes big. “A present?”
“Yes. I think you deserve it after your hard day.”
“Please, Daddy!” He bounces a little in my lap.
“Okay, sit on the bed for a moment.” I slide him off me and go over to the closet, grabbing one of the bags I stashed on the top shelf—clothes for my Baby Boy weren’t the only things I ordered recently.
I hand the bag to Lio, and watch with amusement as he excitedly grabs it and pulls his present out.
“A monster!” he cries, hugging the purple plushie to him.
“Little Boys need stuffies, and I thought it was the perfect companion for my Little Monster.”
“It’s perfect, Daddy!” He pets one of the yellow horns. “I love it. Thank you!” He hops into my arms, and I hold him and his new friend close.
“I love you, Emilio.”
He hugs me a little tighter. “Love you too, Best Daddy Ever.”
Always.
I have no idea what I’m doing as a Daddy, but I’ll always be whatever Emilio needs.