Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sasha
I couldn’t move as his barely audible command ricocheted through my head. The guilt on his face so much more painful than I’d expected. It might have been easier if he was repulsed by me. Or didn’t care…
No, that wasn’t true. As confusing as the man could be, his continued indifference would kill me. But that look in his eyes right now would haunt me if I didn’t do something to fix it.
Without breaking eye contact, I released my death grip on the suitcase and reached for my pajama buttons to obey. Fear sizzled through my mind. The idea that I was about to expose myself to him in a way that could result in disaster made my chest ache.
My fingers moved achingly slow, undoing each button until nothing was left but to pull it off.
I took a breath, hoping it would calm me. It didn’t. My heart was beating so fast it scared me. I could do this, I reminded myself.
Closing my eyes, I turned around and braced myself for his reaction. Then I dropped my shirt to the floor. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but the resulting silence unnerved me. We both just stood there, not saying a word. My naked back now the elephant in the room.
Something always stood between us, getting in the way. My job, his job, my feelings, his past…. and now this.
My heart raced as I waited for him to say or do anything. Only when I heard the click of his boots against the wood floor did I manage a single shallow breath.
His footfalls ceased just behind me and I practically felt his gaze raking over my exposed back. A shiver worked over me as nothing but the sound of his breathing filled the space around me.
“You are still as beautiful as ever,” he said, his voice dark and husky as it worked over me. “Nothing could ever take that away from you.”
His praise made me want to melt into the floor as my knees weakened and I struggled to stay upright. If only he touched me, then maybe I would believe him. He had no idea how much I ached for that.
As if reading my mind, his fingers landed at the base of my neck, sending an arc of awareness burning down my spine. Slowly he worked them down, following the grooves left behind by the fire.
“I’d do anything—kill anyone to take the pain these caused away from you.”
I sucked in a breath, a whimper slipping from my lips at the same time. There were words I should have formed, but his touch made me breathless. And I never wanted it to stop.
I’d thought any touch there would not feel good, but I’d never been more wrong in my life. His touch. His words. They were exhilarating. Erotic. And I was desperate for them.
He moved his hand back and forth across my back, tracing every line, rubbing up against the waistband of my pants. All while I thought I would die if he stopped. The low ache already pulsing between my legs sharpened and I knew if he reached inside he would discover how wet I’d become—for him.
My nipples pebbled, and I couldn’t decide whether I was relieved or disappointed that they were hidden from him. I’d already pictured the roughness of his hands on my aching flesh, but the reality was so much better than the dream or the memory from so long ago.
I hadn’t forgotten, but?—
“Please,” I breathed before I could stop myself. I wasn’t even sure anymore of what I was asking for. But he was. He always knew and this time—he gave it to me.
When the soft touch of his lips and the slight scratch of his beard hit my back, I gasped. To hide my response would be impossible at this point. My panties were getting wetter by the second and the ache building behind my clit becoming almost unbearable.
I wanted to die and live at the same time. But was it too much to ask for him to… I couldn’t finish that thought. Not when the answer to the question could be the final crushing blow I feared. I was too fragile over this. The agony of realizing his touch, though heavenly, came from guilt rather than desire made everything so much worse.
And yet, I made no move to stop this. I couldn’t.
“Put your hands on the wall, baby.” The words were spoken so close to my skin, I almost didn’t hear them. And were followed by the touch of his tongue to my tender back. My knees were weak, buckling under the weight of both of our desire. He wrapped one arm around my waist and supported me until I did as instructed and placed both palms flat on the wall in front of me to steady myself.
He didn’t hesitate again, this time trailing kisses down along my spine, until he reached the waistband of my pants. His fingers curled around the thin fabric and peeled it slowly down. I shuddered at the image I knew he saw.
The thong I wore did nothing to hide the red and puckered skin there as well. Not much of my backside had been missed in the fire, and despite the skin grafts, it was still a mess.
Not that I could focus on that now. Those thoughts vanished as his scorching caress sent my mind spiraling in an entirely different direction. Each spot his fingers grazed seemed directly connected to my core, making the ache there intensify with every passing second.
Our harsh breaths mingled in the air around us, heating the room and creating a symphony of sound that I would dream about later when I was alone again.
“Fuck,” he bit out, sounding more animal than man. Whether it came from anger or desire I couldn’t tell. Not that it mattered in the moment. I only wanted him to never stop. My head hung forward as the sensations he created took complete control of my mind.
If nothing else, he was proving, step-by-step, that my life had not ceased the day of that fire. That it was still possible to be attractive and desired.
“Touch yourself, baby girl.”
Every muscle in my body jerked at his new command. My brain froze. I even questioned if I’d heard his words correctly, or if I wanted them so badly I’d conjured them in my mind. “Wha?—”
“You heard me.” His lips resumed their path from the base of my spine to the lower curve of my ass.
Part of me thought maybe I should say no, but then the other questioned why. Why say no to the man I couldn’t get out of my head no matter how hard I tried? Giving in one more time wouldn’t hurt.
But it would. Because no matter what I did, he’d never be emotionally available.
At the same time that thought went through my head, his hands wrapped around the back of my thighs and his lips moved even lower. My eyes widened. Oh my God. He’d gone past the point of my injuries. I bit my lip to hold back my moan, but nothing could prevent its escape.
A noise sounded from him that I couldn’t quite describe. One part growl, one part hiss. Either way, he stood once again to his full height where I expected his arms to wrap around my waist and stop this from happening. I was wrong.
Instead, he kept going, sliding his fingers along my arms until his hands rested on top of mine, he then grabbed my right hand and pulled it down, placing it on my pussy with his staying on top. “Do as I ask.”
This time the intensity of his demand brooked no argument. I either did as I was told, or I made him stop. Those were the only two choices I had left.
And I didn’t want him to stop.
With his hand still steadily resting on top of mine, I slipped my fingers inside my panties and swiped a finger through my slit. I sucked in a breath at what I found. I wasn’t just wet, I was drenched.
“Wet, right?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck.” The word came out on a snarl, but I couldn’t tell what it meant. Was he upset? Disappointed? I didn’t know what to expect here. This was nothing like the past. It seemed more intimate.
But like that sanity robbing first kiss when he’d been drinking. It was as if he needed a crutch to lower his inhibitions to allow this to happen. That night it had been alcohol, tonight it was guilt…
God how I wish we could go back to that night and start over. Things could have been so different. Or I could have stayed away…
Maybe then my heart would have stayed intact.
“Stop trying to figure out what to do and just listen,” he drawled into my ear. The deep, dark tone of his voice was more than enough to make me come. It was the stuff of every erotic dream I’d ever had about him.
“Yes, sir,” I said, half serious-half mocking. He was the boss after all.
“One of these days that sass is going to earn you a spanking. And since I’m the one itching to give it to you, I’m going to do it right.”
“Is that a promise?” I further teased. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t seem to help it. He’d drawn something out of me I hadn’t felt in a very long time, and it was actually his fault. He’d called me baby girl and flipped some kind of switch I’d forgotten about and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Maybe I should’ve been embarrassed. I’d called him Daddy earlier. But the second the words had left my mouth, and I saw the way he looked at me…
I wanted it again.
I wanted to be his baby girl.
He shifted his head and closed his mouth over my neck, his teeth biting down at the same time his hand pressed over mine, forcing my finger harder against my clit. That pressure was almost enough to set me off. It was definitely enough to make me want more.
“Bad little girls don’t usually get to come. So if you’d like to get that orgasm you’re reaching for, I suggest you apologize.”
Shocked, I sucked in air. I could barely breathe at the moment, let alone form words. He’d begun moving our hands in tandem around my clit, but making sure that neither of us actually got too close. Between his words and that building pressure, I was going to explode from the ache in my core.
And now that he’d said the word, it’s all I could think of. “But I need to come.” I heard the whine in my voice, but it couldn’t be helped. I was feeling desperate at this point.
“That’s not an apology, bad girl.” He started to lift both of our hands from my panties while my brain screamed for him to keep going.
“I’m not bad, Daddy. Please. I’ll be a good baby girl. I promise.”
His chuckle brushed against my ear. “Mmmm,” he groaned. “That’s a little better. And enough for now. But, if you really want to be my little girl. I can show you what that means.”
“Yes,” I cried, breathless as he pushed my hand back into place. “I’m going to come.”
“Then come, baby. Come all over our hands and show me how much you like this.”
That was it. His words were the final cut to the thread holding me together. Stars exploded behind my eyes as the orgasm burst free from my tightened core. With my legs shaking, I lost my balance, but his arm caught me and pulled me back against him to keep me from falling.
It had been so long since I’d felt anything remotely like this, it seemed to go on forever as the aftershocks ripped through me over and over again. Not since that one time with him…
By the time it was all over I could barely stand. JD must have sensed my distress as he lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the bed, placing me gently down. He closed his mouth over mine and teased my lips with his tongue, but when I opened to meet him with mine he pulled away.
“Go ahead and take all the time you need to gather your things.”
“What?” My brain was still stuck on what we’d just done, and the ache for more that still pulsed between my legs. All I could think about was having him inside me, stretching me until I thought I couldn’t take another inch.
I didn’t understand where he was going with this.
“I’ll wait outside while you finish packing. I’ve got some club business to deal with.”
I blinked, unsure that I’d heard him correctly. Did he just pull the club business card on me? A surge of anger burned its way through my lust addled brain. “What are you talking about? You’re leaving?”
He didn’t answer at first. He just watched me with those intense, unreadable eyes.
He finally shook his head. “Just waiting outside so you can finish what you need to.” The implication in his words settled heavily on my chest. I was trying to read between the lines of what he said, but I couldn’t have heard him right. Was he suggesting I finish myself off while he sat outside?
I sat up and tried to reach out for his hand, but he remained just out of reach. “Be a good girl and do as I say. As soon as you’re ready, shoot me a text and I’ll come help you with your bags.”
My throat tightened to the point I couldn’t speak, which turned out to be a good thing because I wasn’t about to beg him to stay.
With that he disappeared from my bedroom and left me staring after him. I sat totally still, unsure how to process what had just happened. He’d just given me the best orgasm I’d had in a long damn time and yet left me completely hot and needier than ever before. Outrage flooded through me as I tried to process his request.
Be a good girl my ass. He couldn’t just tease me like this.
Although in my rational brain I knew he could do exactly that, my irrational brain wanted to make him pay. I rolled to my side and opened my nightstand drawer, pulling out every single toy I owned. While a part of me did actually want to finish what he’d started, I decided then and there I wasn’t letting him off the hook or making this any easier for him.
Asshole.
I tossed my toys in my bag as well as a bottle of lube as a wicked smile pulled at my mouth. I most certainly would finish what he started, but not while he waited downstairs in his truck.
If he wouldn’t finish the job then I would, but I’d sure as hell make sure he watched—or listened while it happened.
My patience had officially run out. JD Monroe was about to get a taste of his own medicine and I planned to enjoy the hell out of it.