16. Aaron
Chapter sixteen
Aaron
The next morning, I go over my budget for the charity dance. Everything is coming along nicely, and I still have room in the budget in case of unexpected expenses.
If there are no unexpected expenses, I’ll add that money to the donations for Castleton.
I’m excited to share all this with Bella.
Our day yesterday went well. Though we haven’t put a label on where we’re at, I have a better idea now than I did before.
We’re not a couple. But we’re more than friends.
It might seem strange to people looking in from the outside, but I’m comfortable with this.
At least, for now.
We’re giving ourselves time to figure it all out, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Bella and I are no weirder than Ellen and Mike getting engaged so quickly.
I suppose that’s what I need to take from this experience. Everyone moves at their own pace, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Of course, I can’t deny hoping this might be the start of a change between us. That Bella might be one step closer to wanting a proper relationship… and that she’ll get there by the time I’m ready to retire.
I’m about to call Bella to see where she wants to meet when my phone rings. To my surprise, Ellen’s name flashes across the screen.
“Hey, how are you…” but she cuts me off immediately.
“What are you doing?” she demands.
My lips quirk. That’s the thing about Ellen, she has a whole conversation in her head before she starts talking.
Which often leaves you out of the loop.
“What am I doing about what?” I ask patiently.
“Bella!” Though she says Bella’s name emphatically, she lowers her voice at the same time to a whisper. “What are your intentions with Bella, Aaron?”
I get a mental image of Ellen with lambchop sideburns, wearing a highly starched shirt as though she’s a Victorian father.
“What do you mean by intentions?” I can’t keep the laugh from my voice.
“Don’t laugh at me. I want to know where you’re taking things with Bella. And just what your plans are moving forward,” she says. “Because if you hurt her, I will be forced to convince Mike to kill you.”
This time, I burst out laughing. “Oh, don’t bring Mike into this. But I plan to take things slow. I won’t be proposing anytime soon, don’t worry. Perhaps I should be the one demanding your intentions toward Mike. Do you two have the ring already?”
There’s a pause, then Ellen whispers. “Don’t say anything to Bella. She doesn’t know yet.”
“Why?”
“She’s just been busy.” Ellen clears her throat. “But you’re going slow with her, yes?”
“Yes. I promise we’re taking our time to figure things out.”
A sigh whistles through the line. “Good. Just don’t make things weird, okay? Bella’s my best friend. I don’t want it to be awkward when she’s my maid of honor and you’re Mike’s best man. Let’s keep the drama for Netflix, not the wedding!”
“I’m pretty sure one of Mike’s brothers will be his best man.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You’re right. I do. Rest assured, Ellen, I don’t plan to make things awkward.”
Ellen seems satisfied with that. After another exaggerated threat if I cause Bella emotional harm, she ends the call.
Now that she’s brought it out into the open, though…What are my intentions?
I consider the question as I get dressed for the day.
I want to be Bella’s friend… and her lover. Maybe even more than that. We’re at such a strange point in our relationship that it’s difficult to tell what sort of future we might have.
Not that it’s something that can be figured out right now.
While I brush my hair, I study myself in the mirror. Is that the face of someone who is in love?
I search my eyes, trying to peer into my own soul.
“Not yet,” I decide aloud, setting my brush aside. “I’m not in love. I like her, and there are things about her I could easily love.”
But it’s not love. I haven’t allowed it to become that.
Yet.
Keeping myself from falling for her is becoming more difficult every time her name passes my lips.
She’s wonderful.
She’s intelligent. Strong. Witty. And beautiful.
Yeah, if I let my guard down for one moment, I’d be in love with her in a flash.
While I want to take things slow, I also want to rush in.
Funny how both can be true.
It’s a difficult position. With my career, I don’t have the time to dedicate to another person. With her career, neither does she.
We’re not at the right time in our lives.
Done with my daily grooming, I head back to where my papers and budgets lay on the table.
I had planned to invite Bella to my apartment, but now I think it’ll be best if we meet somewhere more neutral.
And public.
“Why is this so difficult?” I groan.
It all seemed so perfectly clear yesterday when we were together. It was easy and comfortable.
We’re not dating.
But we are kissing.
And what does that mean when it comes to other relationships? I haven’t had a committed relationship for a while, but I’ve had casual flings.
Is that what Bella is looking for?
Should I make it clear that I don’t expect her to be exclusive with me, a man she’s not even dating?
I frown as I grab my keys. Regardless of what we are, there is more we need to discuss—namely, boundaries.
Her idea of not dating may indeed be different from mine.
***
We meet at the public library and find a secluded corner where we can talk quietly without disturbing anyone else.
Bella wears a sleek, sleeveless turtleneck paired with high-waisted shorts that are a deep emerald green. Her hair is curled, and she wears drop earrings that look like stained glass frogs.
The dark circles under her eyes are less pronounced today, though once she sits down next to me, I suspect she just covered them up.
“Alright, so how are things going?” she asks enthusiastically.
I open my folders and share everything I have so far. I have an uncomfortable feeling that I’m pulling her away from her own important work, but she shows no sign of being anxious to leave.
We chat about the event for a while, and Bella shares a few suggestions that blend perfectly with my plans. After we wrap up, I close the folders with a satisfied nod.
“Bella, can we talk?” I ask.
She tenses and averts her gaze at once. I’m so surprised by her reaction that I miss her nod.
“What do you want to talk about?” she prompts.
I clear my throat. “Well, I wanted to clarify a few things between us,” I start.
Bella holds up her hands, stopping me. “I like being your friend, Aaron. I don’t want us to put labels on what we have.”
“Alright. So no labels. I just want to—”
“No, please don’t,” she says quickly. “Putting anything else into words is going to end up being too much commitment. I know that it might not make sense to you, but I need this to be undefined right now.”
I process her words, nodding slowly.
She bites her lip. “Is that okay?”
“We don’t need to put labels on anything,” I assure her. “That said, I do need for us to make a few decisions.”
She wraps her arms around herself. “Like what?”
“Like kisses.”
Her cheeks go pink. “I like kisses.”
“But kissing is as far as it should go, at least without further discussion,” I say slowly. “And when or if you invite me up to your apartment, what does that mean to you? Because the common understanding is that it’s an intimate gesture.”
Bella chews the inside of her lip.
I lean my elbows on the table. “Friendship can be intimate, too. So perhaps it’s best if we say that invitations into the apartment mean sitting in the living room and chatting or grabbing a bite to eat. A hard line of no lip contact in the privacy of someone’s home?”
Bella giggles at the way I describe it. “No lip contact, huh?”
I grin back at her. I can’t help but be disappointed that she doesn’t want to define what we are, but I like seeing her laugh.
“Is that agreeable to you?” I push. “Kissing as a hard limit?”
She nods slowly. “Okay. Kissing friends and that’s all.”
She holds out her hand and I shake it. And almost at once, I want to draw her in and kiss her smiling lips.
This may be harder than I thought.