Chapter 16
Grayson
As my consciousness pulls me from my dreams, Austin’s wrapped around me. His morning wood pokes me in the back as he tries to ease away.
“Don’t even try to get out of this bed.” I roll over and throw a leg over his hip. “Hi.” I search his eyes and see a myriad of emotions.
Embarrassment.
Shame.
Confusion.
Frustration with a case of blue balls.
“Hi,” he grumbles back.
“Someone isn’t their usual cheery morning self.” I can read him well enough to know he’s second-guessing a physical relationship with me. As long as he’s comfortable, I don’t intend to fight fair.
“Should I take care of this for you?” I reach between us and pump his cock.
We’re still naked except for our socks since we were too impatient to take them off.
“Ruined our night.” Austin’s gaze skitters away from mine.
“You didn’t. We’re experiencing a blip in our reality.” I dig my fingers into his spiky hair and scratch his scalp.
“W-w-what?” he stammers.
“Could you imagine how boring we would be if we went from platonic best friends to kissing in Vegas, having a night of passion, and living happily ever after? That kinda stuff is reserved for fairy tales. We’ve hit a roadblock and have to get over or around it to ride off into the sunset.
” For emphasis, I wave my hand as if I can see the sunset.
“You’re ridiculous,” he says, but his body relaxes.
“Guilty.” I trace a finger around his nipple, and it peaks for me. “Plan A: naked breakfast in bed, served by me, a talk about last night, and sex. Plan B: also a naked breakfast in bed, sex, and then talk about last night. Which works for your schedule today?”
“The first two-thirds of Plan B followed by round two.”
It occurs to me that announcing a talk will create stress and work against us. I do the only sensible thing—I mount him.
“Plans can be revised.” I plant my palms on his chest and watch his eyes roll back as we grind together. I’m all for experiments, and maybe if I keep talking, it will stop his subconscious from rearing its ugly cock-blocking head.
“Do you like this better?” I ask, and he moans. “Keep your gorgeous eyes on me.”
His lashes flutter, but Austin meets my stare.
“I never noticed the tiny flecks of yellow in your eyes. They’re so blue, it doesn’t seem possible.” Our rhythms sync and our cocks glide along each other. I love the rawness of this.
“You smell so good.” I nuzzle into the crook his neck and inhale. “I’m gonna lick you all over. Taste every inch of you.”
I rise back up to catch his eyes closed. “Don’t hide from me. Show me the exact moment I make you spill your cum all over us. Should I clean you up with my tongue?”
“Yesssss.” He’s loud, and his eyes widen while his movements become jerky.
All his facial muscles tense, then relax into pure bliss. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Watching his euphoria sends me over the edge, and I rock us through both our orgasms.
I’m sated but not satisfied. It’s a strange combination. My balls are empty, yet my mind races with all the things we could do together.
I collapse, thankful I don’t have to worry about squishing him. The mess between us dials up my appetite. The urge to fulfill my promise clears the fog in my head. I kiss my way down his chest and lap up our combined cum.
My tongue licks every crevice. The mixture of us is sensational. Too good not to share. Crawling over him, I plunge my tongue into his mouth so he can taste us.
Austin holds my head to deepen our kiss. His fingers dig into my hair, gripping it like reins. It’s intoxicating.
We can’t get close enough. I’m desperate to be inside him or have him inside me. I’d live in his skin if I could. He’s getting hard again, and I need him in my mouth.
Breaking off our kiss, I take a steadying breath and lay my head on his chest. He’s solid below me with a steady heartbeat. Then it kicks up, and I groan.
“Tell that mother-canucking darkness to shut it. We’re busy basking in the afterglow.” I prop my head on my hand to kiss him.
“How did you know?”
“Your heart rate took off.” I lean down to listen. “But you’ve got it under control. It’s almost like you need a disruption in your thought pattern to dissolve it, or whatever happens to it.”
“I visualize putting it in a locked box,” he says, and I sit up straight.
Alarming him will not help the situation, but I think the box represents his repressed emotions. “Did you do that last night or today?”
“I started to do it last night, but I got distracted, and today I didn’t even try.”
“But it still went away?” I settle my head on the pillow so we’re facing each other.
“It did,” he confirms, but his stomach grumbles.
“Time to feed the athlete.” I sit up, but he hauls me back.
“More naked time in bed.” He nuzzles my neck.
“We’ve got all day, baby.” It’s rare we have this much time off during the season, and I’m taking advantage of it.
“How about an all-day naked day? No clothes. Just us.” His breathing tickles behind my ears.
“I’m on board for that, but we need to eat.” I push my ass back and get another rumble from his stomach. “See, food’s important.” I’d usually have a smoothie made or something for when he wakes up. He loves to eat healthy but isn’t great at planning. It’s the least I can do to make his life easier.
“Fine.” He lets go of me and flops starfish-style on the bed, exasperated like he’s given up in a negotiation.
He’s so luscious; it’s torture resisting him. “I gotta use the bathroom.”
“Use mine. We can shower together.”
We soap each other up, and my hands learn each curve of his muscles as I clean him.
“You’re more ticklish than I thought.” Before he can respond, his phone rings in the bedroom. Austin’s face falls. “Hey, we still have all day. Answer it, and we’ll make a plan depending on who needs you.”
He’s conflicted, but I stand him under the spray to rinse him off, then shove him out of the shower with a smack on the ass. If he doesn’t answer the call, the thought of letting someone down will eat at him.
I admire that about him. He’s selfless and has a huge heart. To prove I’m not upset, I order takeout from his favorite restaurant. We lounged in bed and in the shower for so long that it will be lunchtime when the food gets here.
His closet is open with his housecoat hanging on the back of the door. It’s the perfect solution for wearing clothes. There’s no reason to terrify the delivery person by opening the door naked.
The blender starts, and a stab of guilt hits me that instead of showing him how much I care, he’s feeding himself.
The app says our order will arrive soon. That’s one thing going my way. I pause in the hallway before I enter the kitchen to listen in case he’s in a private convo.
There’s a full glass on the counter. I reflexively wrinkle my nose. Austin loves his healthy drinks in the morning, but I’m not an athlete. There isn’t any reason for me to ingest his mix of high-performance ingredients.
His back is to me as he says, “That one’s yours.”
“You didn’t do a double batch?” I sniff the contents of the tumbler.
“No kale or raw eggs in yours, but there are extra raspberries.”
I set it down and hug him from behind. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”
He spins in my arms, all glorious naked skin and sexy chest hair. “When’s the last time I made you drink my smoothie?” His arms loop around my neck. “It’s not considered doing something nice if I know the other person doesn’t like it. That’s selfish.”
“You’re spoiling me,” I whisper in his ear, and watch goosebumps appear.
“Nah. But I do what I can.” His stomach makes a strange sound, so I back up and let him pour his drink. When he turns to face me, he does a double take. “What’s with my robe?” He gestures to it hanging on the island stool.
“You are so American if you’re calling a housecoat a robe.” I hold up my glass to clink his. “Cheers.”
Austin chugs his, not coming up for air, and some dribbles out of the side of his mouth. Without thinking, I lick it up and regret it.
He bursts out laughing. “You look disgusted.”
“I thought it would taste better off you?” It’s a question because my thought process was getting my mouth on him.
“You like me.” He does a little happy dance.
“I more than like you.” I palm his hips and join the happy dance. Naked kitchen dancing to no music is my new favorite activity, besides my mouth on him or our dicks sliding together. But it’s solidly in the top five. All my favorite things have to do with Austin.
“Who called?” I ask when we stop dancing and sway together.
“King and I are going to text later. He asked if you’ll be around because he might want your perspective.”
“That sounds ominous.” I stop moving.
He opens his mouth, but our buzzer rings. “I’ll get it.” I snatch his housecoat off the island chair.
“What am I supposed to do?” He covers his dick.
“Stand behind the island or, if you’re afraid they’ll be too overwhelmed by your abs, duck down.” He flips me his middle finger.
I paid online with a generous tip, so it’s a quick exchange, and I never open the door all the way.
“What did you do?” Austin pops up from behind the counter.
“It’s a naked day with no rules.” I set the bag down and pull out the containers.
He instantly recognizes them and gets out silverware for us. “My fave. Have I told you lately that you’re the best?”
I’m on the verge of saying I’d do anything for my boyfriend, but I hold back for fear of moving too fast and scaring him.
“You can stroke my ego or whatever you want whenever you want.” I hand over his salmon and brown rice stir-fry.
“Island or couch since there are no rules?” He shakes his head when I hesitate. “Don’t move.”
Austin comes back with a sheet and covers the couch. “We can pretend that on no-rules day, you weren’t worried about being naked on the couch.”
I huff. That’s the thing about working in healthcare—the knowledge of germs everywhere. “You would obsess next time the guys come over about who’s sitting in the same spot as where our naked asses and balls were.”
“Good thing I found a solution.” His enthusiastic sounds as he eats, set off endorphins in my brain.
After we’ve eaten our fill, I put the leftovers in the fridge and lie down on the sofa with my head in Austin’s lap.
He picks up the remote. “Sports, movie, or TV show?”
“Whatever you want on in the background.” I smile up at him, and his cock hardens.
His watch beeps, and his expression is strange. He pets my head but stares unseeing at the TV, then clears his throat. “Last night, I had an appointment with the sports psychologist, Victoria, but she had to cancel and we rescheduled for today. In thirty minutes.”
“I’m proud of you for reaching out to someone. I’ll always back you up.” It’s tempting to ask more questions, but I’ll let him talk first.
Austin’s shoulders drop. “You don’t think it’s stupid?”
“Why would I think that? You know I went to therapy and am a big advocate for everyone getting mental health help when they need it.” If anything, I’m greatly relieved because I’m not qualified to really help him.
I try when he’s in distress, but that’s not the same as working on the root cause of the problem.
“My game isn’t suffering.” He glances down, and I roll onto my back.
“No, but you are. And don’t put that out in the universe. I know several of your teammates who would condemn you, and one who would insist on a sage cleansing,” I tease, and put his hand back on my head because I love his fingers in my hair.
“I’ve only had one session, and I mostly talked about my fear of going after what I want and the ramifications. I didn’t mention the darkness within me.” His brow furrows, creating deep lines.
“Does she know about me?” I ask. We all know each other, and I won’t break any confidences.
He looks up at the TV again. “No.”
“Hey.” I take the hand resting on my chest and kiss his palm. “I’m not pressuring you. Telling her is coming out, and you get to decide that on your timeline.”
“But what about us?” His blue eyes cloud over.
“We’re best friends who live together, and we’re exploring sex.
You don’t enjoy PDAs, and I don’t expect that to change.
It’s not like you’re going to kiss me in the locker room or a bar.
I’m not going to feel slighted if we’re not out in public.
Half the guys probably have bets on how long we’ve been sleeping together.
On the road, we’re in and out of each other’s rooms all the time.
” I’m on a tangent and pause. “Unless you want things to change.”
He blows out a breath and leans down. I meet him halfway for a kiss, and he supports my head and neck. “Part of me is positive I’m being selfish.”
“It’s not in your nature.” I steel myself for him to reject my next words.
“I’m here to help you talk things out if you want.
But I highly suggest telling Victoria about your darkness.
She’s better equipped than I am. And when you’re ready to trust her, tell her about adding another gender to your sexcapades. ” My joke works and he chuckles.
“I don’t think she’ll understand.” He lets me go as I sit up to climb onto his lap.
“My sweet Tinny,” I cup his neck. “That woman has probably heard things that would make your toes curl. Not to minimize your experience, but she will believe you, and it might not be the strangest thing she’s heard in a month.
As for coming out, I know Liska had a few sessions with her, and so did Jayce McKenna.
Don’t mention my name if you’re worried about the organization or privacy.
When we tell the team, I won’t be allowed to treat you.
” There’s a slim chance I could lose my job, but I push that aside and focus on what he needs.
“Wait! What?” His eyes widen in alarm.
“It’s standard in the medical community that you don’t treat family or significant others.” I play with the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.
“But there’s no one I trust more than you.”
“We don’t need to worry about that yet.” I kiss the corner of his mouth. “But will you tell her about the darkness?”
“I will.”
A thousand-pound weight lifts from me. Now I can concentrate on more fun things like playing with his body.