Chapter 18
Grayson
I’ve never participated in BDSM, but I’ve heard about subspace and think Austin is in it. His ass is bright red, and if I leave handprints, the guys will see it when he changes.
“Tinny.” I grip his hip and stroke my other hand along his spine. In one of my classes, we studied pheromones and if humans are affected by them. Every breath fills me with his and its exhilarating. “Listen to me.”
“You stopped,” he accuses, and glares over his shoulder.
“Yes, because there might be marks tomorrow and you undress with the team.” I couldn’t keep going and have him regret this later.
His head drops to the mattress. “They’re not even here and they’re messing with us.” His voice is forlorn.
“Fuck me before I explode.” We both need relief, and I’m not dwelling on spanking. His ass is such a pretty red, and my hand stings. If I continue, I’ll probably come untouched.
He flattens onto the bed, nodding. To give him a minute or two to recover, I search for his lube and condoms. There’s lube in the bedside table but no condoms, which is surprising since he’s a planner. I rub his back and he moans.
“Be right back.” I leave the room before he can protest to ready myself and grab condoms from my bathroom.
“Don’t leave me,” he grumbles when I climb back in bed.
“I had to clean myself up for you.” Kissing his shoulder, I drop the strip of condoms next to us. No reason to go back and forth.
Austin turns his head when he hears the bottle pop open. “Let me watch.” He turns on his side, and I spread my legs to give him a good view. “I’ve never done this,” he says timidly.
“Wanna help?” I ask, rimming a slick finger around my hole. He seems unsure. “You can watch how I do it and try it next time.”
He can’t take his eyes off my finger as I breach myself. He moves closer and lays his head on my leg. I’m all business, adding another finger, and he sucks in a breath. His face is too beautiful for words. I need him inside me.
“How did you get ready for me?”
I pause, and it’s a relief the question takes me off the edge. I explain the process, and he nods with interest.
“How come straight people don’t do that when they have anal sex?”
“I have no idea. It’s strange, isn’t it?” I never thought about it before, but it’s sort of icky that straight men and women don’t prepare. “Maybe it’s all drunk spur of the moment,” I guess.
I add a third finger and whimper at the lust in his eyes. They’re blue lasers heating my skin.
“Can I touch you?” He pours lube onto his fingers.
“Yes, but only for a second because I don’t want to come until your dick’s inside me.” I remove my fingers. “Start with two.”
He stares for an achingly long second, and I fear this might be too much. “You’re open for me.” His eyes flick to mine in awe as he reaches to touch me. His fingers are featherlight, but it’s extraordinary.
“Please, I won’t break,” I pant, and cant my hips toward him.
Austin’s touches zing, hardening my cock and hitting a pleasure center in my brain that reduces me to base instincts.
He teases my rim, focusing on my puckered skin. Then, he sinks his fingers in and groans. “You’re so warm.” He slides his fingers in and out, and the zings travel through my entire body. “Do you like this?”
“I love you touching me.” There’s a war within me to let him explore my body forever and get his leaking length inside me.
I grab his shoulders and topple backward so I’m under him.
“You can add another finger, but I’m ready for you.
Fuck me, Tinny.” My head is at the foot of the bed, but I can easily reach the condoms from this position.
It’s a feat to tear it open with slippery fingers and roll it down his length.
“I want this, please,” he pleads, and I hear the desperation tinged with fear.
Last time, I kept his mind occupied with dirty talk, and I can do it again.
“Yes, get inside me.” On his knees, he lines up his tip with my hole. This feels like the first time, and I’ll explode as soon as he enters me. My chest heaves, waiting and waiting.
“You’re so pretty like this.”
“I’m about to become a gremlin if you’re not inside me in the next breath.” My inner muscles contract in the agony of being empty.
Austin breathes out a laugh and pushes in. An asshole has more resistance than a pussy, so his eyes widen and he freezes. I haven’t bottomed in forever, and my inner muscles squeeze him gleefully.
“Keep going. I can take all of your big fat cock. Fill me up with all the cum you made for me.” My words ignite him, and my body sucks him deeper. I need to keep his mind on me so it can’t wander. He deserves a glorious orgasm without his mind sabotaging him.
“It’s so good. Help me.” He pushes halfway in.
He asks and I answer by gripping his shoulders and hauling myself up so I’m on his thighs, and I don’t give him a chance to object as I impale myself on him, giving my body over as a gift for both of us.
Austin makes a guttural sound, and I swallow it down, plunging my tongue into his mouth. “I’m about to move. Are you ready?” I ask, knowing the first time in an ass is as overwhelming as it is euphoric.
“No, I’m not going to last.” His big blue eyes want so badly to please me.
“Sweet Tinny. We live together. If you fill the condom, we’ll wait and do it again. Unless you try to lie to me and tell me you have to go home to feed your cat.” With my quip, his shoulders relax.
“Guess that excuse is out the window.” His hand lands on my neck, bringing me in for a kiss. Our bodies undulate together as if we’ve done this many times.
“Especially since everyone who knows you would know you’re a dog person, not a cat person.” I roll my hips, and his eyes disappear into the back of his head.
“Do that again.”
My hip circles drag my balls over him, but he gets too close to the edge, and I rise to change the angle. In this moment, I know he’s ruined me. “You fit so perfectly inside me.”
“We should have been doing this for years,” Austin pants as I pick up the pace.
“There was the little issue of your straightness.” I’m profoundly full. No one will ever compare to my Austin.
“Not anymore.” He picks me up, and in a gymnastic move, turns us so I’m on my back with my head on a pillow and he’s still inside me. “Let me fuck you like a rag doll?”
“My body is yours.” I lift my arms over my head and cross my wrists as if he’s tied them.
He growls and mounts me like a predator, plunging in and out. All the sweetness is gone. He’s confident and intent on making us come. I’m his, and he has the power to wreck me in the best and worst ways.
“So good.” With my commentary, Austin stays with me, and his darkness doesn’t steal this from us.
His face is scrunched up as if he’s holding back, and that isn’t acceptable. The point of tonight is for him to take what he needs. To show him it’s safe to explore his fantasies.
“We’re going to shift to the edge of the bed so you can fuck me with the force you’re craving.” I move too quickly, and he slips out with a furious grunt. “Note to self: plan ahead. Stand next to the bed, Tinny. What to you prefer stomach or back?” I’m his to command.
Austin stands and yanks me to him. “I have to see what I do to you.”
I bite my lip to keep from saying something ridiculously sappy. Hooking my hands under my knees, I pull them to my chest, exposing my hole to him. “Make me your rag doll.”
He roars and thrusts balls deep, causing the bed to move.
“Yes. Like that. Harder,” I pant, holding my sweaty legs with all my might.
The pace is brutal, and he fills me, satisfying every desire I’ve had. His expression is blissed out, like he’s floating on air and not ramming my ass. It’s a delicious dichotomy. “Fuck me so hard you leave an imprint in my throat.” He’s so deep; he’s ripping me apart and making me whole.
Austin is the only one for me.
His eyelids flutter closed, but he doesn’t pause.
“Right there.” I arch my back when he hits my prostate.
“I’m so close. Are you going to come for me?” Austin drives into me, nailing me where I need him as he fists my cock.
His hand demands my cum, and I spill into it with a long groan. Nothing exists but him.
“You’re squeezing me so tight.” His movements become jerky, and his legs tense as he fills the condom. I wish there wasn’t anything between us. I want part of him to live in my body.
Austin collapses on my chest, and I let go of my legs to hook them around his back. I should have water for him when he comes down, but I can’t leave his side or he’ll crash faster.
“Come here, baby, up to the pillows.” He’s loose and limp, but I’m able to lay him out on the bed with his head supported. “It’s different for everyone, but you might have an adrenaline crash. I’m here, and I won’t leave you.”
“You always keep your word.” He nuzzles into the crook of my neck.
“I’ll do anything for you.” I hold him close and inhale his sweaty, crisp scent.
“That was… I don’t have enough brain function for words. Stup…stup…” He groans a laugh, shaking us both.
“If you say stupid, we have a problem.” I massage his neck.
“Stupendous,” he mutters.
“Good word. You probably used all your available brain cells. Try to sleep.” I barely have the words out before his breathing evens out and becomes utterly relaxed.
With Austin sated and sleeping, I close my eyes in contentment. But the feeling of otherness rears its ugly head. Ironically, it’s similar to Austin’s darkness. It’s doubt.
Austin could be with anyone, and I’m the test guy. The guy he uses to figure himself out before he moves on and finds “the one.”
He would never do it on purpose, but he won’t settle for me. I’m the plus one. I don’t add any value to his life.
My breath hitches, and I hug him tighter. He burrows into me and mumbles, “Don’t leave.”
I’ll never leave him. Even if I cling to him knowing it will end with my heart in a million pieces, I’m not letting go. Austin’s mine until he decides he’s done with me.