Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Julian
The relief of seeing Leena again, of being in her orbit, is instant. But, damn, it's hard to fight the need to pull her into my arms. Where she belongs.
Her parted lips and wide eyes when she saw me with Connor made me smile.
I love the effect I have on her. When she started coughing and hid her face in her arm, it had me clenching my fists to keep from reaching for her.
My mind went wild wondering what exactly she was thinking about.
The way I made her come on my fingers in that dim hallway, perhaps? God, I hope so.
The twinge of guilt I still feel about that night hits me but I shake it off, instead focusing on the blush that colors her cheeks. Admiring the beautiful shade of pink that I am obsessed with tells me she is still affected by me.
When I returned to Philly, I set my plan in motion.
After sending her my apology flowers, she sent that one message, which meant that I had her number and continued to use it daily.
I just made sure it was never too deep, at least where we were concerned.
In the beginning I was left on read, but I wouldn’t be deterred.
Then she started sending tapback reactions, which slowly morphed into emojis and brief replies. It was all the encouragement I needed.
Participating in the conversation with Connor and Chelsea, I can’t help but study Leena.
The hoop in her nose is different, it's silver instead of gold, but just as dainty. The usual Operating Room’s light blue-colored scrubs compliment her glowing porcelain complexion.
She is unable to use her curtain of dark curls to hide her reaction with her hair tucked away under a white scrub cap with a mustache pattern.
Adorable. That is definitely a perk of mandatory hair coverings—she won’t be able to cover up her responsive features.
She may not say what she’s thinking or feeling, but her large eyes and fair skin tell all.
Her nervous fidgeting is nothing like the quiet calm she carried herself with at the coffee shop but I find it endearing. With the absence of her usual graceful movements, I catch how she is unable to hide the way she squeezes her legs together.
I will myself to not get hard as I leisurely move my eyes up her body. Her breasts rapidly rise and fall with her heavy breathing that she tries to hide with a sip from her water bottle. But I find it difficult when her lips wrap around the straw, imagining them on my dick instead.
Jamming my hands in my pockets, I rock back on my heels, hoping the movement hides how I discreetly adjust myself.
“Dr. Jacobs, can I get your number?” Chelsea asks, pulling me from my wanton thoughts.
With the way Leena commands my attention, it’s impossible to miss the way her head swivels in the other woman’s direction, eyes widening for just a moment before she clears her throat and slips on a mask of indifference.
“For the department directory and charge phone.”
Leena visibly relaxes, and I try—unsuccessfully—to hide my smirk when she glances away as I read out the digits, knowing she already has my number and could have added them herself. But my girl is adamant about acting as if our acquaintance has been limited to a few interactions.
Connor explains his process for getting case information to staff during regular working hours.
He also points out where we can find the call sheets, and Leena waves a piece of paper before inserting it in the sleeve fixed to the desk.
Hospital operators are notorious for giving the barest details when they call the on-call personnel in.
Depending on the case, we sometimes need to directly get in touch with staff so they have detailed information to save time when they get to the hospital.
After a few other key pieces of information, Connor pushes away from the desk. “Thanks, ladies. Chelsea, we’ll let you know if we have any add-ons. Logan will be heading out early since we’re here.”
“Sure, no problem. And I’ll message your locker assignment in a little while, Dr. Jacobs.”
“Thank you, Chelsea. It was nice to meet you.” I politely shake her hand. Turning to Leena, I say, “Nice seeing you again.”
With Chelsea already distracted by the monitor in front of her and Connor turning away, I take the opportunity to wink at my girl. The pink already coloring her cheeks blooms down her neck and chest. I fucking love her blush.
The rest of the afternoon and evening is pretty uneventful, all things considered. We had one small case followed by a few consults in the ED. Then we finished up the evening rounding on our patients with our service PA and leaving orders for the floor nurses.
Jace texted earlier to let me know he had dinner leftovers waiting at his place. Grateful for my friend, I use the key he gave me to enter his condo. The sound of the TV echoes from the living room as I make my way inside and into the kitchen.
“Hey, man!” I call through the doorway as I open the fridge. I start the microwave, then turn to see my best friend grinning manically at me. “What?” I draw out the word.
Rolling his eyes, he plops down on a barstool. “Dude, cut the shit. Did you see the pint-sized hottie?”
“Don’t call her that. My girl’s name is Leena,” I say, a burning feeling in my gut.
“Your girl, huh?” He quirks a brow and takes a swig of his beer. “Isn’t she barely even texting you back?”
Oh, fuck. I realize this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about her like that. Mine. But, it’s not as scary as I would have expected. Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “Doesn’t make her any less mine.”
“How so? She’s not even willing to give you the time of day.”
Leaning my hands on the counter, I hesitate before voicing what became clear to me when I got back to Philly. “I can’t stop thinking about her. There’s something magnetic about her, pulling me to her. I can’t quite explain it, but I know she’s it for me. It’s her or no one.”
With slightly raised eyebrows, he absentmindedly nods his head. “She must be something special."
“She is,” I say with a sigh, then I grab my plate from the microwave and sullenly sit next to him.
“Your girl, then,” he says, chuckling at my uncharacteristic moodiness. I glare at him,—just the idea of her with someone else gets me riled up again. Jace holds his hands up in a truce, but continues to rib me. “Dude, chill out. You’re the one who said she’s tiny and fine as hell.”
Letting my shoulders relax, I begin eating. “Yes, I did,” I mumble between bites of food.
“And?”
“Still fucking hot as hell. I was afraid she’d spot my semi.
Like what the fuck, man? I can’t control my body's reaction to her. It’s worse than when I was a teenager!
She’s already freaked out about getting involved with someone from work.
I’ll drive her away for sure if I can’t get it under control. ”
Standing, he tosses his beer in the bin, cackling. “Maybe rubbing one out before you see her will help. It worked back then.”
I wince at the taunt, already reliving the embarrassing moment. “Shoulda never told you that,” I say.
He moves to the fridge and grabs another beer. “Ehh. We were young.” Thumping me on the shoulder as he passes, he says, “You may need to rub one out now. Your shoulders are tense!”
“Fuck you!” I chuckle, taking my last bite.
“With your blue balls, you wouldn’t last long enough to get me off!” he chirps from the living room.
Needing to shake the irritation still simmering about thinking of Leena being with someone else, I linger over rinsing my plate and wiping the counter, being unnecessarily thorough.
I follow him to the living room and sink down on his leather sofa, checking the score on the baseball game he’s watching.
The Music City Troubadours lead Tampa four to two. “Good game?” I ask.
“Yep,” he replies before taking a swig of his beer.
Stifling a yawn, I hold my breath when the pitcher glances over his shoulder at a runner on second taking a lead off the base. Jace jumps to his feet and I lean forward as the pitcher fires off his throw at the same time the runner makes his move.
“Atta boys! That’s the way to make that stolen base not matter.” He turns to me smiling when the shortstop catches the hit and sends the ball to first base, getting the final out of the game.
Mirroring his smile, I appreciate the ease of falling back into our familiar camaraderie. I extend my fist to bump his and crow, “That runner wishes he could explode and make plays the way the Troubs’ rookie shortstop does.”
As he sprawls back out on the couch to tune back into the post-game commentary and interviews, my yawn finally escapes. “Well, I’m off to bed. Thanks again for letting me crash here until my rental is ready.”
“Stay as long as you need. I’ve missed you, bro.” Then with a mischievous tinkle in his eye, he teasingly says, “I think I’m going to enjoy having you around to give shit to.”
I knock my fist against his leg resting on the coffee table. “Uh huh. Night.”
Getting into bed, I stare at the blinking cursor in the message bar of my text thread with Leena.
I didn’t end up sending my usual daily text since I had been hoping to see her in person.
Which ended up making my day. Now, however, I’m fighting the temptation to use it as an excuse to text her.
Knowing I’ll see her tomorrow quells the urge in my fingers to tap out a message.
I’ll make sure of it, even if I have to make up an excuse to her and Connor to make it happen.
I also don’t want to scare her off by coming on too strong, and it seems when I get too comfortable around her, my dick thinks he’s in control.
Like now. I rub my palm against my erection.
I just may be jerking off each morning to help release the tension that has been building, threatening to explode.
Thankfully, when I returned to Philly to finish out my job there, finish packing, and make all the necessary moving arrangements, I was too busy to dwell on the pent-up frustration that steadily thrummed through my veins.
Jerking off in the shower and coming embarrassingly fast to thoughts of Leena’s tight cunt took the edge off.
But now I fear how much more fucking horny I’ll be when I’m near her, especially since I’m unable to touch her.
Taste her. Fuck her. Make her mine. Because even with the small amount of relief jerking off has given me, I think blue balls will be my constant companion until I can claim her and her body the way I long to.
I’m going to need to lock my shit down because I don’t need an uncontrollable hard-on spooking my girl even more.