Chapter Twelve
Seth
We’ve been on such a rollercoaster tonight. Not just me, but Everly as well, I think. Unfortunately, this feels like a downward curve, but I guess that means the only way is up.
Whether we’ll get back to that incredible high I felt when Everly asked me to let us into the apartment earlier is another thing. It felt really significant at the time, like she welcomed my presence, as opposed to questioning it.
As for feeding River and putting her to bed… words fail me.
My little girl’s eyes didn’t leave mine the entire time I held her, and feeling her tiny body in my arms was something that filled my heart and made it beat a little stronger. I felt an enormous surge of love for her, which was a little weird, considering I don’t really know her, but I wasn’t about to doubt my feelings. They felt natural… and I felt whole. For the first time in my life.
I had a few moments of regret, while Everly went around the room, closing the drapes and getting things ready for River to go to bed, wondering what it might have been like if I’d been here all along. I’d missed out on so many evenings, so many bedtimes, and I couldn’t help but feel sad about that, although I did my best to push that aside and focused instead on making tonight the first of many.
Of course, that would have been a lot easier if things hadn’t become so weird over dinner.
I’m not sure what happened then. We’d been getting along really well while Everly was cooking… so much so that I tidied away a few things in the apartment just because she’d made that comment about not being able to get everything done. I guess I wanted to show her she didn’t have to do it all by herself… and that she didn’t need to ask for help, either, because I know that’s not her strong suit. When I was putting her apron in the laundry hamper, I wondered if she might ask what I was doing, or tell me to stop, or even remind me she didn’t need my help. But she didn’t. She just thanked me instead, even though she had no need. And I suppose that lulled me into a false sense of security, that having overcome such a sensitive issue, and taken on board that she’d gone to the trouble of cooking one of my favorite meals, we’d be able to sit and talk like we used to.
Except we didn’t… or we couldn’t. I’m not sure which it was.
Either way, our conversation was stilted, and so unlike how we used to be together, when we’d share our news, tell stories, finish each other’s sentences, and enjoy those few hours between coming home from work and going to bed. Naturally, that was before Aunt Clare’s death. Before it all went wrong. And that’s what scares me the most… that we’ve lost who we used to be.
Of course, none of that has been helped by that damn message from Davina. I felt as though that drove a wedge between us, although I’m not giving up hope. Like I say, the only way is up, because I don’t see how we can get much further apart, unless I actually leave… and there’s no way I’m doing that.
We’re still staring at each other, but then Everly swallows and says, “How do I know it’ll be different this time? Like I said, I’m even busier now than I was before, so how do I know you won’t turn to Davina, or someone like her, if I’m not giving you my undivided attention?”
I quickly pocket my phone. She declined my invitation to check it, after all, and then I pull her into my arms, making her gasp.
“I don’t need your undivided attention.”
“You don’t?”
“Okay… I do. But I can accept that you have other things that occupy your time. All I ask is that you include me… let me participate. Like you did tonight. That was good, babe.”
“Yeah, it was,” she says, letting out a sigh.
“I’m never gonna look elsewhere,” I say, holding her tight against me. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t really look before. It was just that Helen was there.”
“Davina’s there now,” she says, and I hear the uncertainty in her voice.
“I don’t care. I’ve spent a year regretting everything I did to us. There’s no way I’m gonna let that happen again.”
“But what if I get tired, or busy, or…”
“We’ll talk,” I say, interrupting her. “We’ll work it out. Whatever it takes. You own my heart, Everly. It doesn’t even beat properly without you.” I feel the moment she relents, her body sinking into mine. “There’s no-one for me but you. It know it’s hard to believe, but there never was.”
“Promise?”
“I promise… on River’s life.”
“And you won’t leave again?”
“I’ll never leave you. Either of you. Ever again. I’m just sorry…”
She clamps her fingers over my lips, stopping me from finishing my apology. “If we’re gonna make this work, you need to stop saying sorry. I got a lot of things wrong, too.”
“I hope you’re not thinking of apologizing for any of them.”
“I could… but I don’t think it would help. If we’re gonna move forward, we need to stop looking back.”
“You wanna move forward?”
“Yes, I do, and I think it’s better if we accept the mistakes we’ve both made, and leave them in the past, don’t you?”
“You’re willing to do that?”
“As long as you are… and as long as you promise you’ll never let anyone come between us ever again, because… because I’ve missed you,” she says, her eyes glistening. “I’ve missed the way you used to make me feel.”
“How’s that?” I ask, wondering what we’re talking about now. “How did I make you feel?”
“Safe,” she says simply. “I haven’t felt safe since you left.”
“Then feel safe, babe.”
I dip my head, my lips meeting hers, and within a blink, she ignites in my arms, her hands clinging to my shoulders, her moans echoing around the space between us. I remember to hold her up as her knees weaken, and I deepen the kiss, rolling my hips into hers, groaning as she squirms in to me.
“You’re still too much,” I growl, lifting her into my arms. She wraps her legs around me, and I carry her to the couch, sitting down in the corner. Everly straddles me, edging forward and rocking against my cock, as I sit back and feel something hard and uncomfortable pressing into my ass. “What the…?” I sit forward slightly and reach behind me, pulling out a toy. It’s shaped like an elephant’s head, but with a ring attached at the bottom that’s filled with beads. “What’s this?” I ask.
“It’s a rattle.”
Everly takes it from me and gives it a shake, demonstrating her point, before she throws it to the other end of the couch.
“Guess I must have missed that when I was clearing up.”
“Looks that way.”
I grab her ass, pulling her closer as I sit back again, and she nestles against me.
“Can I ask you something?” I say and she looks up, nodding her head. “I didn’t wanna say anything before, but I need to know, what it was like when you found out you were pregnant.”
“Terrifying,” she says, sitting up again, although I keep a firm grip on her ass so she can’t move away.
“Sorry,” I whisper, overwhelmed with guilt that I wasn’t here for her.
“I thought we were done with apologies.”
“Evidently not.” I glance over toward the bathroom. “Did you… Did you do the test here?”
“Yes.”
“On your own?”
“Of course. I didn’t hold a party.”
“I know, but I wondered if you’d asked someone else to be here with you… someone like Laurel, maybe?”
“No. I was fairly sure the result would be positive…”
“Because you were always so regular?”
“Exactly. I was four days late by the time I realized, so it didn’t take a genius to work it out… and I certainly didn’t want any witnesses, other than you.” She lowers her head as she murmurs those last few words, but I raise my hand, placing my finger beneath her chin and lifting it upward until our eyes meet.
“And you didn’t think about calling me? I mean, I get that I should have been the one to call you, but…”
“Of course I thought about calling you, Seth. I thought about it before I bought the test, while I was doing it, and afterwards, when it said I was pregnant, and I was sitting on the floor outside the bathroom, trying to work out what the hell I was supposed to do. Even though I half expected it, I was still in shock, and I was desperate to hear your voice… desperate to feel safe.” I pull her a little closer, and she lets me. “But I was so scared you’d only come back because we’d made a baby, not because you wanted me.”
“I wanted you so much, babe. I wanted you all the time.”
“And now?” she says.
“I want you more than ever, and I love you so much, I’m struggling to breathe.”
I lean forward, brushing my lips against hers, and she grabs my cheeks between her hands, holding my head still, heating our kiss as her fingers delve back into my hair. I grind my hips up, pulling her onto me at the same time, and she writhes against me, her breasts crushed against my chest. Her tongue flickers with mine as I move my hands to her hips, taking control and rolling them back and forth, creating a frenzied rhythm between us. She’s breathing hard, and I suck on her bottom lip as she tugs at my hair.
It’s no good. We either need to stop or get naked. Now.
I pull back, and she sucks in a lungful of air, licking her swollen lips and biting on her bottom one, wide-eyed and so fucking sexy.
“Can I ask you something?” she says, surprising me with how normal she sounds, when my brain is all over the place, and my body is struggling to catch up.
“Sure.”
She hesitates for a moment, swallowing hard, and then says, “Why didn’t you come back? The last time I asked, you said it was because you felt ashamed of what you’d done, and I assumed that had something to do with Helen.”
“It had nothing to do with her.”
“Maybe not, but…”
“It was because I’d hurt you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, or ever will love, and I’d left you. What’s more, I’d left you, knowing there was a chance you could be pregnant. I think I had plenty to feel ashamed about.”
“Then why didn’t you call me?”
“I guess I was scared that it might sound as though I was only checking up on you to find out if you were pregnant. I know I could have called and just asked about you, but we’d been pretty good at misunderstanding each other, and I wasn’t sure it would come out like that.”
She nods her head. “Was that it?”
“No. If I’m being honest, I wanted you to need me as much as I needed you.”
“I did.”
“It hadn’t felt that way for a long time, babe.”
“I—I’m sorry,” she says, her voice faltering.
“Hey… I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… this is all on me, babe.”
She shakes her head, but I hold it still, looking into her eyes. “I—I needed you so much,” she says. “I wish I’d been able to tell you, but I needed you. You must have realized… even if only on the night before you left… surely?”
I smile at her. “Of course I did. That’s not a night I’m ever likely to forget.”
“Neither am I,” she says, returning my smile.
“It was the only time I ever made love to you without a condom.”
“Hmm… I know.”
I bring my hand up, tracing a line around her lips with my fingertip, which makes her shudder, I’m pleased to say. It always used to, and I’m glad that hasn’t changed.
“It had been ages since we’d done anything,” I murmur.
“That was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Yes, it was. I was too preoccupied with everything else.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it your fault, and in any case, it doesn’t matter how it happened… all that matters is that I was desperate for you. I still am, in case you haven’t noticed.” I flex my hips in to her and she sucks in a sharp breath, letting it out as a low moan, which makes me smile.
“I was desperate for you, too,” she whispers. “Just because I was preoccupied didn’t mean I’d switched off my feelings.”
“I know. The evidence of that is upstairs. Speaking of which… I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful with you. I wanted to talk to you about it… afterwards, you know? But you fell asleep before I could, and the next day… well, we both know what happened the next day.” My mistake over the condom had been one of the things I’d wanted to discuss with Everly the next evening, but it all fell apart when she mentioned Helen… and my life went with it.
She pulls back, a look of fear crossing her face. “Do you regret it? River, I mean. Not what happened afterwards.”
“Do you?” I ask, needing to know the depth of my carelessness, and what it’s meant for her… what I’ve done to her.
“I asked first.”
“I know, but I need you to tell me. Do you regret what I did to you that night?”
“We were in it together, Seth, and no, I don’t regret it. I love River more than I thought possible, and while I wish the circumstances had been different, I wouldn’t change a thing about her.” I nod my head, holding back another apology, as she fixes me with a stare. “Now, it’s your turn. Tell me… do you regret it?”
“No. I love her too, with all my heart, even though I’ve only just met her. It’s like she belongs here,” I say, placing my hand over my heart. “Right beside you.”
She has tears in her eyes, but before I can say anything, she shifts closer. “Can you prove that?” she says.
“Prove that she’s in my heart?”
“No. Prove you don’t regret it. Prove you mean everything you’ve said since you’ve been back here… about loving me, and wanting me, and needing me.”
“How?”
“You know how.”
Her eyes are boring into mine and I know exactly what she means… what she wants, and I edge forward on the seat, holding her as I stand, my hands beneath her ass, supporting her.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” I say and she nods, holding onto my shoulders as I carry her to the bedroom, flicking on the lights as I kick the door closed behind us.
I’ve never been in here before. This was Aunt Clare’s bedroom, and I only ever caught glimpses of it. I know it’s changed, though, because I remember the walls were a pale blue, and now, they’re a warm peach color. Not only that, but all the furniture is the same as it was in our bedroom upstairs, including the enormous bed. I carry Everly over to it, lowering her to the mattress and kneeling up between her parted legs. Man, she looks good, and I gaze down at her, taking a deep breath, to steady myself, before I lean over her and say, “I’ll be more careful this time.”
We might be on what used to be her side of the bed, but I reach for the nightstand beside me, pulling open the top drawer. I always made a point of keeping condoms on her side as well as mine, just to make my life easier, and I reach into the drawer, my fingers resting on something smooth, long and cylindrical.
“What’s this?” I whisper, pulling it out, unable to keep the smile from my lips as I hold up the black, shiny vibrator between us.
“What does it look like?”
“It looks like a vibrator.” She nods her head and I settle back on my ankles, tipping my head to one side, which makes her smile.
“I was pregnant, not dead,” she says, and I chuckle. “Why? Are you telling me you abstained altogether?” She raises herself onto her elbows, looking down at the bulge in the front of my jeans, her eyes widening as she licks her lips. I think that’s subconsciously done, but it makes my cock ache, wondering about the possibilities.
“No,” I say, answering her question, and she sucks in a breath.
“Did you… Did you think about me?” she asks, as though there could be any doubt about that. I let the vibrator fall between her breasts, resting it there for a moment, then lean over, my lips barely an inch from hers.
“All the time,” I growl. “Did you think about me when you were using this?” I ask, moving the vibrator up and down.
“Yeah,” she says, her eyes fluttering closed. “All the time.”
“You’ll have to show me,” I whisper, sitting back up again. “But not right now.” I put the vibrator down on the bed, and lean over to the drawer again, feeling around and finding what I’m looking for, pulling out the box of condoms and throwing them on the mattress.
“You need the entire box?” she says, wide eyed.
“Yes. It’s been a year, babe, and no amount of jerking off can make up for being inside you.” She giggles, but as I reach out to unfasten her blouse, she grabs my wrist, stopping me. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
She lets out a sigh, biting on her bottom lip and says, “I’m different.”
“No, you’re not. I told you already, you still drive me crazy. I can’t imagine anything that would—”
“You don’t understand,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m not the same as I used to be.”
“I know what ‘different’ means, babe, and I’m telling you, you’re exactly the same.”
“I’ve had been pregnant, Seth. I’ve had a baby.”
“I know.”
I lean in, undoing a couple of buttons, kissing her skin as I expose it. She moans, sucking in a breath, as I work my way downward until all her buttons are undone. She’s breathing harder now, and I make the most of her preoccupation and unfasten her jeans, shimmying down, so I can kiss the silvered stretch marks I’ve exposed.
She leans up, looking at me, studying my actions, and I glance up at her, surprised by the look on her face.
“How can you do that?” she says. “They’re ugly.”
I shake my head, moving up and over her, my hands on either side of her head. “Nothing about you could ever be ugly. They’re a part of who you are, and I love every inch of you, just like I always did.”
I pull her blouse from her shoulders, sitting her up so I can unfasten her bra, and release her perfect breasts, still as firm as ever, bending my head to lick her nipples. They’re already hard, but they harden still further, and she holds my head in place until I pull away, her hands clamped around my cheeks as I gaze into her eyes.
“You’ve always been the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and that’s never gonna change.”
“Even though I’m different?”
“You’re not different. You’re still you… and in any case, it’s not just about how stunning and sexy you are on the outside, it’s about what’s on the inside, too.”
“That would be you,” she says, trying not to laugh, and I shake my head, smiling at her.
“Here I am, trying to be romantic, and you’re cracking jokes.”
“Sorry.” She bites on her bottom lip again. “I’m just nervous.”
“Of me?” I grab her hands, holding them between us. “You’re nervous of me?”
“No. I’m nervous of this… of us.”
“Since when?”
“Since now.”
“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about. We’ve been here before.”
“I know, but that’s what I’m trying to say. Things were different then. I was different. We were different.”
“No, we weren’t. This hasn’t changed, babe.”
“But what if I don’t feel the same… on the inside?” she says.
“You will. Now, stop worrying…” I bend my head, my lips meeting hers, and in that moment, it’s like she forgets all her fears, and melts into me. I hold her close, kissing her deeply, our tongues clashing, our bodies fusing, until I pull back, and look down into her expectant eyes, and without a word, she lies down again and I edge backwards, putting my fingers in the tops of her jeans and pulling them down, along with her panties. She’s naked now, and I’ve never seen anything more glorious. Part of me wants to tell her that, but I’m worried she’ll contradict me… or want to, so I say nothing for now, resolving to tell her later, and instead, I lie between her legs, shimmying downward, smiling as she parts them wider, and I spend a moment or two just admiring her pussy. She was always shaved, even when I first met her, and she still is, her lips plump and glistening, and I can’t wait a moment longer to taste her.
I dip my head, my tongue flickering through her folds, my fingers helping to part them, and she raises her hips to meet me as I lick her clit, tasting her all over again. She’s just as sweet as I remember, and I sweep my tongue across her, over and over, swirling it around that most sensitive spot.
“More, Seth. Give me more.” It seems her insecurities have been forgotten in the face of imminent pleasure, and I gently insert a finger inside her, making her buck and moan as she clamps her hand on the back of my head, grinding her hips. “Make me come,” she urges. “Please, make me come.”
I can’t think of anything I want more, and I add a second finger, which is all it takes to push her over the edge, her body curling and constricting, as she contracts around me, tightening against my fingers, her juices flowing over my hand and into my mouth, and I swallow her down, loving every second. Even as she calms, I continue to lick at her, to lap up her nectar, before I finally remove my fingers from her, and hold them up, sucking them into my mouth. Her eyes are wide, watching me consume every drop of her, and only once I’m satisfied I’ve left nothing behind do I remove my fingers from my lips.
“You taste so fucking good.”
She smiles and, without a word, sits up and reaches for my belt, undoing it with an ease born of years of practice. I watch as she unfastens my jeans, lowering them and my trunks, and my cock pops into her waiting hand.
She gasps, and looks up at me, a smile touching at the corners of her lips as I unfasten the top two buttons of my shirt, then run out of patience and yank it over my head, her eyes wandering lazily over my chest.
“I always loved your body,” she says, her gaze slowly lowering. “But I love this part most of all.” As she finishes speaking, she switches position, kneeling before me as she bends, and then lowers her head and takes me in her mouth.
“Oh, fuck… yes…” I hiss between gritted teeth. It’s been a year since I’ve felt this, and I grab her hair, holding it behind her head, watching her lips surround me. There’s something about this… about the obvious struggle to take me, which she overcomes, just like she always did, bobbing her head back and forth, and swallowing a little more each time, until I hit the back of her throat. That’s it… that’s where I belong, and I hold her still, enjoying the moment as she looks up at me, our eyes locking. “You look so good with my dick in your mouth.”
She pulls back slightly, then takes me deeper still, and I have to pull out, catching my breath.
“Was that close?” she asks, teasing me.
“Closer than you’ll ever know.”
She smiles, then giggles as I pull her up so we’re both kneeling, facing each other, my hands clasped on either side of her head.
“Taste yourself,” I whisper, crushing my lips to hers. She flicks her tongue against mine, then laps against my lips, savoring her own sweetness as her hands come around behind me, clamping on my ass, and pulling me closer.
“I—I want you,” she says, pulling back, her eyes meeting mine.
“You’ve got me.”
She lies back, gazing up at me still, as I quickly pull off my jeans and trunks, throwing them to the floor, and then grab a condom from the box, rolling it over my cock, and crawling up her body.
“If I’m different…” she says, swallowing hard and struggling to finish her sentence
“You won’t be.”
“If I am, will you tell me? Don’t say I’m the same just to make me feel better. Be honest with me.”
“I’m always honest with you.”
I palm my cock, rubbing it along her folds and paying particular attention to her clit, which makes her shiver.
“I’d forgotten how good that felt,” she whispers.
“Better than your vibrator?”
“Much.”
“I still want a demonstration,” I remind her, and she smiles.
“Later.”
“I’ll hold you to that… and a lot more.”
“I hope so.”
I smile down at her, letting my cock rest at her entrance, and dropping to my elbows, my lips meeting hers as I join us. She moans in to me, her hands coming up onto my shoulders, resting there for a moment, and then twisting into my hair, as I slide all the way home and lean up again, looking down at her.
“How can this be?”
“What?” she says, looking bewildered and slightly scared.
“How can you be this tight?”
She shakes her head. “You’re just saying that. You said you wouldn’t…”
“I’m not. I promised you honesty, and that’s what you’re getting. You’re really fucking tight, babe.”
“As tight as I used to be?” she asks, sounding doubtful.
“Easily. Just… Just give me a minute.” I hold still, unable to move, and I close my eyes, sucking in a long breath.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Sure. I just don’t wanna come too soon.”
“Seriously?”
I open my eyes. “Of course not. The last thing I want is for this to be over before it’s even begun.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she says.
“Oh?”
“No. What I meant was, are you saying you’re in danger of coming, even though you haven’t moved yet?”
“Yes.”
“But that never happened before.”
“I know. But we were never apart for an entire year before, were we?”
“No, I guess not.”
She looks a little sad and I lean down and kiss her, just briefly. “Don’t worry. I’m getting my head around it.”
“You’re sure?”
I pull out of her and nod my head. “Yeah,” I say, as I push back in again. “I’m positive.”
I don’t give myself time to think, and as Everly lets out a guttural groan, I grab her ankles, holding them wide apart and lifting her ass off of the bed, giving her my entire length as slowly as I dare.
I repeat the motion several times, watching her eyes flutter closed every time she feels me deep inside her, although after maybe five minutes, she looks up at me, frowning.
“Are you still struggling?” she asks.
“No. I’m getting used to it now.”
“Then why are you going so slowly? You didn’t used to.”
“I know, but you hadn’t had a baby back then.”
She chuckles, shaking her head. “Thanks for being so considerate, but you really don’t need to worry.”
“I don’t?”
“No. I’m not made of glass, and I need to feel you, Seth. I need it to be like it used to be.”
“Sure?”
She nods her head and I move faster, then harder… and then harder still, sweat forming on my back and chest.
“That’s it. Just like that.” She locks her eyes with mine. “Don’t stop, Seth. That’s so good.”
I up the pace, hammering into her, then place her legs on my shoulders and, without breaking my rhythm, I lean over, bending her backward, and going even deeper inside her.
“Take me,” I whisper. “Take all of me.”
She nods her head, her breathing becoming ragged and her eyes roll back as she climbs and then falls into her next orgasm, her body shuddering and shaking, her legs tensing against my neck as she grabs handfuls of bedding, my name a whispered echo, repeated over and over, on every breath.
When she finally opens her eyes again, she smiles up at me.
“You held on,” she says, surprised.
“Just.”
I’m moving a little more slowly – not for her benefit, but for mine – to give myself a chance, and I lower her legs to the mattress before rolling us over, so I’m on my back and she’s straddling me. Because I need to keep control of things, I grab her ass, rocking her back and forth, until she’s breathless, her hands on my chest, her head rolling back.
“You’re so deep,” she murmurs.
“I know. Just how I like it.”
She chuckles, which makes her muscles tighten around me, and I have to focus for a moment, holding her still, while I get a grip on myself. It’s not easy, with her impaled on my cock, but I calm myself enough that I can sit up, pulling her hard on to me as she wraps her legs around me, grinding her hips, and leaning in to kiss me. There’s something fevered about this, something frenzied… like we both know the end is near. Our kiss is more intense, our bodies fused like never before, although I’m still not ready. Not quite. There’s something I need to do, and without breaking our kiss, I kneel up, supporting her ass.
She squeals as I take her weight, leaning back in my arms and clutching my shoulders.
“You remembered,” she says.
“As if I’d ever forget.”
She smiles, and then sighs as I lift and lower her over my cock, harder and harder. This was always one of her favorite things to do, whether kneeling or standing, in bed, in the shower, against a wall… Everly didn’t care. She loved the feeling of being held up in my arms and fucked really hard, and judging by the look on her face, that’s yet another thing that hasn’t changed at all.
“Come for me,” I whisper. “I need to feel you come.”
I pull her down hard, and she ignites, bucking against me. I struggle to hold her, my body surrendering to the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever felt in my life, pleasure surging toward pain, but stopping short, as I whisper her name and fill her with everything I’ve got.
She clings to me, breathing hard, and I holder her tight against me, treasuring the feeling of her slender body as we both take a moment to calm before I lower us to the mattress and onto our sides, face to face. We’re still joined for now, and although I’ll have to go to the bathroom, there are things that need to be said first.
I brush a few stray hairs from her cheek and lean in, kissing her, letting my lips linger, and sucking gently on her bottom one before I pull back.
“Don’t ever doubt yourself, babe. You’re everything you ever were… everything I knew you would be.”
“I haven’t changed?”
“Not in the slightest. You still make me lose my mind, every damn time, just like you always did, right from the first time I met you.”
“I missed you so much,” she says, her eyes glistening, and I pull her closer.
“I missed you, too. Say you forgive me… for leaving you. For not coming back.”
“I forgive you,” she says. “Do you forgive me?”
“Nothing to forgive.” She shakes her head, but I clasp her cheek, halting her. “Nothing. Ever.”
She sighs, and pauses, like she wants to disagree, and then, eventually, she smiles and nestles against me. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, and simply hold her against my chest, stroking her hair.
“You remembered to be quiet,” she says after a long silence… one which we both needed, I think.
“Of course. We had to be quiet before… at least most of the time. Your aunt was usually in the apartment somewhere, so we could hardly scream each other’s names, could we?”
“No, and we can’t now, either.”
“Which makes it a good thing that we’re used to whispering them.”
She nods her head, and we lie still, just breathing together, until I remember I really ought to go to the bathroom.
“Can you excuse me, just for two minutes?” I say and she leans away.
“As long as you promise to come straight back.”
“I told you, I’ll never leave you. I meant it.”
“In that case, I’ll let you go.”
I chuckle and pull out of her, being as gentle as I can about it, and then get to my feet. She lets her eyes roam south, licking her lips, and I have to smile.
“Enjoying the view?” I ask.
“As ever.”
I nod my head and lean over, kissing her. “Hold the thought. I’ll be right back.”
I don’t give her time to reply, but make my way straight to the bathroom, being as quick as I can before I return, to find Everly lying on her back, staring at the ceiling.
“Are you okay?” I ask, walking over and climbing into bed beside her. She doesn’t reply and I lean up on one elbow, gazing down at her. “Everly?”
“I’ve just realized the time.”
I turn, checking for myself. “It’s just gone ten-thirty.”
“I know. I don’t remember the last time I went to sleep this late.”
“This is late?” And who said anything about going to sleep?
“It is when you’ve got a three-month-old baby,” she says, and I nod my head, seeing her point, as she turns over and rests her hand on my chest. “I know we said I’d demonstrate my vibrator, and use up an entire box of condoms, but River will probably wake up sometime between one and two. I’m usually asleep by ten, and I don’t…”
“Hey… it’s okay,” I say, smiling and leaning in to give her a brief kiss. “I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do.” I fumble around the bed, finding her vibrator and the box of condoms, holding them up. “The demonstration can wait, babe. So can the condoms.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“Of course not. I mean, obviously, I’d really like to watch you, and have you tell me what you’re thinking about while you make yourself come, and then I’d love to taste you, and make love to you, and spend the night enjoying your body in every way I can, but…” She lets out a sigh and I stop talking.
“Don’t tempt me,” she whispers and I smile, dropping the vibrator back into the drawer and adding the condoms, before I close it and switch off the light, turning over to face her again.
She slides across the bed, into my arms, and I lie on my back, holding her close while she rests her head on my chest. Within seconds, she wraps her arm around my midriff, her leg coming up across mine, and I smile to myself. We used to sleep like this all the time, and I kiss the top of her head and whisper, “Thank you,” as she snuggles against me.
“Nothing to thank me for,” she says, sounding like she’s half asleep already.
And I’m not far behind her.