Four - Kieran
Me
Anything? Can we get out of it?
Constance
Short answer? No.
I grit my teeth, my fingers tightening around my cell phone. Anger storms through my body, tensing every inch of me. But that’s nothing new.
Me
No?
Constance
It’s in the contract, K. Nothing you can do about it unless you walk.
Me
Any other offers?
I drum my fingers on my thigh, nervously bouncing my leg. All we need is another offer, and we can flip West Records the finger and walk. We don’t need them. We don’t need her.
Constance
I’ll keep my eyes open. But right now? No. Good luck. Stay nice.
“Fuck,” I mumble, pinching the bridge of my nose, eager to lash out at the gym and relieve myself of all this anger festering inside me. It’s the only thing that chases any sort of feelings away. I can’t afford to feel around her.
“Didn’t go well?” Rad asks, staring down at his phone with longing in his dark eyes.
The edge of his finger runs over the picture he doesn’t think I know about. The one he stares at day in and day out like a hurt puppy dog, waiting for his master to come back and claim him. It’s never escaped me that he’s still madly in love with her, even after what she did.
Rad sighs heavily, biting into his bottom lip as we pull up to Callum’s condo. The limo comes to a complete stop, idling on the curb as we wait a solid three minutes for him to appear. Callum’s bulky form comes into view with his hands tucked in his pockets. A large, black hoodie swallows his body whole, and the hood covers his eyes. The moment he flips it down, I know the evidence will be on his face in the form of blackened bruises and swollen flesh.
Callum doesn’t utter a word as he shuffles into the limo and finds a seat next to Rad, not bothering to meet our curious gazes. Leaning back, he rests his head and closes his eyes, tuning us completely out with his earbuds snug in his ears. Like so many years before, Callum only speaks when spoken to, but worse. He only opens his mouth if it pertains to the band, and that’s it.
Lead fills my stomach at the onslaught of memories banging around inside my head. Five years ago, something fundamental fucked us all up. We’ve thrived in our own ways. Some more than others, finding hobbies to take our wandering minds off the woman who crushed us with one single action. We don’t speak her name. Or mention our past in passing. Together, we’ve avoided the topic altogether and moved forward. Well, mostly. Sometimes the ghost of my past comes back to haunt me, pulling me into unwanted memories.
Marching through the parking lot of River’s apartment building, I tightly ball my hands into fists. Rage consumes every molecule in my body when I see the familiar red Mustang parked right in front of River’s apartment. I stand, frozen next to it, when the front door of River’s apartment slams open, and out walks Van with a victorious grin spreading across his face. His shirt hangs over his arm, and he whistles gleefully under his breath.
“You fucking her?” I accuse, stepping out of the shadows with a scowl and folding my arms over my chest.
Seeing the picture Callum had taken didn’t satisfy my curiosity one bit. I had to see for myself. River and I have way too much history for me to just walk away without investigating what the fuck is going on. But now, the scale is sliding in an unfavorable direction, leading me to believe that everything is true.
“For a few months,” Van says with a cocky grin, pulling his shirt over his head.
My fists clench at my side, and before I know what the fuck I’m doing, I grab Van by his arm and throw him against the side of his car. “You’ve been fucking her for months?” I hiss, getting right in his face.
“Yeah, bro. Aren’t you happy I told you? God, she was going to let you all think you were hers when she’s fucking half the town,” he sneers, pushing his forehead against mine. Without a thought, I throw my fist into his temple, crumpling him to the ground, and taking my frustrations out on his curled-up body.
As the memory ebbs away, I come back to the reality of it all. I never made it inside to talk to River after witnessing Van walking from her apartment. For the next few days, I snuck away from the guys and watched him come and go from the parking lot, convincing me that the truth was right in front of my eyes the entire time. She cheated and felt nothing for us.
“We’re stuck,” I say, sucking in a ragged breath. “My agent says it’s in the contract that we have to put up with this for the full six months, unless we get another deal from somewhere else.”
“Somewhere else?” Rad asks, raising his brows. He heaves a sigh, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Like that’ll happen.”
“Like where?” Callum mutters, peeking an eye open.
“EJ Records across town has always been interested,” I say confidently as the car takes off across town toward Asher’s massive house on the damn beach.
I squeeze my eyes shut when visions of River walking into the conference room fill my mind and refuse to let go. For five years, I’ve wiped her existence from everything. I pretend she never existed. I pretend she never shattered my heart into a million pieces. But she always seems to show her face in my nightmares. Now, she’s here in the flesh, ready to haunt me more.
And it pisses me off more than anything. How can she walk around like nothing happened between us? What we had was more special than anything. And she gave it away for a good fuck in the back of a Mustang.
A picture of Van and River in her kitchen. Kissing. His fucking lips are on hers. Her lips on his.
I see red. My mind goes haywire. Accusations sit on the tip of my tongue. Anger rises in my chest and crushes my ribs, ripping my heart from inside me. Opening a deep, dark pit of nothing in my chest. Numbness prickles at my mind and tingles down my limbs.
And then I feel…nothing.
A part of me wished what Asher had said wasn’t fucking true, and that it was all some sick joke on us. It was a video; it could have been staged. Some last blaze of glory for Van to try and win her back without us in the picture. I was prepared to march to her apartment and spank the truth from her ass. Then Callum came and set me straight with his picture.
There it was in bright colors. The truth I’ve been dreading with a sickening knot in my stomach since Asher opened his mouth.
How had I fallen so hard again? With her? Only to have to force myself to put one foot in front of the other and leave her behind, forgetting she ever existed.
I used to think my heart only beat for her, but now it beats for no one. Not even me. I’m a broken man without my River Blue. Or not mine. Was she ever? Was it all fun and games? Did I not make myself clear who owned every inch of her?
Apparently not. Because Donovan Drake swooped in and stole her back like he had planned. Maybe we were just a way to pass the time, and we were never exclusive. Whatever it was, I’m done, but not before I find out for myself. Without a word or a glance back, I throw open the front door and storm away, hellbent on finding the truth for myself.
I blow out a breath, shaking the stupid memories out of my mind just in time to retrieve a pale-looking Asher. Something plagues him when he settles in his seat beside me, fiddling with a key between his fingers. Nervously, he darts his eyes around the car and swallows hard, before looking out the window again. It’s always the same with him. Since we moved here, he’s been sketchy as hell. Always locking himself in his room, unless it has to do with the band. Then he’ll come out and play with us. He’s always so quiet and so damn reserved. It drives me fucking nuts to see him act so differently from the guy I used to know.
He hasn’t been the same since River.
“What is wrong with you?” I mutter, wrinkling my nose.
I’ve never seen my perfectly put-together stepbrother—or I guess not anymore—lose his shit like this. Sweat beads on his forehead, and he heaves another breath.
“Nothing,” he murmurs so quietly, gazing out the window as we take off down the road with all of us settling in.
“Anyone know where this mysterious band house is?” Rad asks in a lazy tone, keeping his eyes trained out the window at the blurring colors passing by.
Rad may seem like the same old goofy dude, but he’s not. He’s thrown himself into music, girls, booze, and parties. All to forget her. She who shall not be named. The one who ruined us all with her selfish ways. And that idiot? Yeah, he still pines for her every night.
Sometimes I think River West was our one true love. Something we’ll never find again.
“I’ll find it,” Callum says, pulling out our contract from some mysterious place in his hoodie. Flipping through a few pages with trembling fingers, he points to a spot on the page. “Number Four, Lyric Lane, is the official address listed in the paper.”
Rad snorts. “Lyric Lane? Sounds made up.”
Asher’s breath beside me shudders in his chest, and he shakes his head, drawing my attention to him again. He’s acting fucking weird. I’ve never seen someone who is all business all the time, so fucking rattled by this situation. I run a hand down my face and shake my head.
“Don’t let her get to you,” I offer, sitting back and getting comfortable. “We’ll get out of this. I’ll never let River rule my life ever again.”
Asher swallows hard, snapping his hazel eyes at me. Licking his lips, he looks at the other two and leans into my personal bubble.
“You know River had a kid?” he asks in a soft voice, trying not to draw attention to the other two.
I snort. “Of course. Gloria called me,” I spit, rolling my eyes. “I’ve known for the past five years.” My heart beats heavily against my ribs at the thought of her having a kid. His kid. After all that time together, she still went back to him before we even left and opened her legs.
“You knew?” Asher asks with furrowed brows, and his face twists in disbelief. “You knew about her? And you’ve never…”
I scoff. “Why the fuck would I care?” I wave a hand. “River can do whatever she wants. She’s not my concern. Not anymore.” A pain stabs my chest, tightening like rubber bands constricting my breath. Even after all these years.
I loved her once. Hell, more than once. She was my best friend. I really fucking loved her, to the point I would have jumped off a cliff for her without a second thought. Until that night when I watched with my own eyes as she jumped into that psycho’s lap and fucked his brains out, and then Callum’s proof was all I needed. We used her at first, hoping to get by on her name to get here. Then, somehow under our noses, she used us right back, faking Van’s stalker interest in her. Using us to defend her honor and all that shit. It’s the only explanation I’ve come up with after all this time.
“River has a kid?” Rad asks, the conversation piquing his interest. Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees, staring between the two of us. “Since when?” His face twists, and more betrayal spears through his dark eyes.
“Five years,” I say with a shrug, focusing outside the window.
Rad gives a brief whimper, letting me know he’s still affected by her presence, too. I wasn’t the only one hopelessly in love with her. We all were. And she fucking decimated our hearts. Even after all these years and the betrayal of a lifetime, we’re hopeless.
The conversation ceases, and only our breathing can be heard through the large cabin as we sit in the first conversation we’ve really had in a long ass time. It’s hard to remember when it happened, but at some point, we fell apart. Right about the time Asher started retreating into himself and avoiding us at all costs was about the time Callum did the same. He barely speaks these days. Hell, he barely looks at us. And Rad…the poor, poor guy hasn’t lost himself in enough pussy to get over her yet. It’ll happen eventually, but I’m sure with her being our new boss, it won’t help one bit. One day, I’ll help him get over her and bring the rest of them back on board. Our band hasn’t felt like a family for years, but they’re the only ones I have. If I don’t have this band, then I don’t have shit.
Iron gates come into view with a large metal ‘W’ lining the entirety of the ornate metal. A guard shack, complete with a guard, who pokes his head out from the little window with an inspecting eye. His words to our driver are murmured through the separating glass, and his voice barely registers.
“A guard?” Rad raises his brows, eyeing the thin man nestled inside his office, complete with a small TV visible to us. A large badge displaying the name of ‘D&D Security’ clings to the upper arm of the dark blue uniform.
“What the hell does she need a guard for?” I snark as the gate opens wide, allowing us entry to the long, winding driveway. “Spoiled ass princess,” I mutter, sulking as I eye the guard who is already sitting back in his chair with a drink in hand, lazily scrolling through his phone—some guard he is.
As we make our way down the drive, a bright blue street sign confirms what I already guessed. We’re on Lyric Lane, heading to the house that will be our home for the next six months of hell.
Anticipation buzzes across my skin as we keep going, not seeing a home in sight. Grassy lands surround us, and to our right, a long beach with white-tipped waves greets my eyes. Jesus. West Records really went all out for this. We’re secluded. Maybe fifteen minutes fromWest Records offices.
I can still hear Gloria’s smug voice over the phone as she relayed the information on River’s little secret. Like I cared at that point. Still don’t. River can live the life she deserves far the fuck away from me. All I want is to fix the band. Not that we need it. We sold out shows last year. We packed the stadiums. Maybe we’ve had some mishaps and exposure to our mistakes, but we’ve always pushed through.
The limo comes to a stop in the short driveway of a simple two-story white mansion. There’s nothing particularly special about it. But what catches my eye when we pile out is the matching house across the street with an SUV in the driveway. The license plate reads RWest.
“Whoa, dude,” Rad says, turning in circles, admiring the luxurious view around us. “This is… Wow,” he settles on, looking around both properties in awe.
I sigh when my phone buzzes. Pulling it out of my pocket, I frown when her name flashes across the screen. Everything in me tenses, and I shake my head. Of course, she’d ask this today.
Gloria
I need some more money.
“Hello, boys,” comes a sultry voice from the garage as the door lifts, revealing River in a tight red dress with matching come-fuck-me heels. A scowl forms at the idea of her outfit change, going from completely professional to this. This… God. Even if I hate her, she’s fucking beautiful. “Welcome to your new home. If you’ll follow me, we have some rules to discuss.”
I swallow hard when her moss-green eyes connect with mine, and she tilts her head. Immediately, I look away, hiding the sadness resting in my soul every time I look in her direction, and snarl instead. If I can’t show the fucking hurt bleeding my heart dry, then I’ll turn to the rage I’ve felt since the moment I realized it was all true and punish the woman who crumbled my heart into a million pieces.
My heart can’t take another round with River West again.