Thirty-Five - River
What the hell is going on with me? I promised I wouldn’t cave, but goddamn, I’m falling into the darkness with only them as my guides. Again! It’s so easy falling back into their arms. It’s like time never slipped away from us.
Even as I sit in the basement, remarkably similar to Callum’s old house, watching the boys jam out with smiles on their faces. For the first damn time, joy ignites in them. Completely different from a few weeks ago.
Lyric dances before me, lip-syncing the lyrics to the song she’s memorized from years before.
“Again!” she yelps, stomping impatiently, staring at me until I relent.
The last thing I want to do is subject myself to Kieran’s sultry voice. But I can’t deny those big, weeping eyes staring daggers into me.
“If you say please,” I murmur, hovering my finger above the first song of their new album.
“Pwease, Mommy. I want to listen to daddies sing!” Yup. I’m whipped despite hating the voices blasting through the speakers of our home.
“Okay, one more time.” Let the record show it wasn’t one more time. It was twelve more times that day and beyond. Every day from then on out, Lyric demanded Whispered Words on repeat. I tuned it out as best I could, but you can only do it for so long.
“Hold on,” Kieran says, raising a hand. The loud music dies down as the guys watch him with curious gazes. “Come here, Little Blue,” he says with a grin, curling a finger in her direction. She doesn’t hesitate a second, barreling into Kieran’s legs with a squeal. “I see you’re singing. Do you know all the words to this one?”
“Every song, Daddy,” she says with a huge grin and a clap. Kieran quirks a brow in my direction. I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. No way in hell am I admitting our spawn forced me to listen to them every damn day until I fell asleep to their voices rattling inside my brain. Nope. Not gonna happen. “I listened to them every day!” she whispers directly into the microphone, letting everyone hear our dirty little secret.
My cheeks heat when all their eyes fall on me. Can the ground please swallow me up, I’ll never hear the end of this shit. Not until I’m six feet deep with flowers blooming above my decaying body.
“Every day?” Rad grins, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
Fucker.
“Every day!” she squeals in confirmation when Kieran hands her the microphone.
Rad smirks in my direction. “I see you, Pretty Girl,” he quips, settling back on his stool.
“Why don’t you help us practice then, Little Blue? Sing with me?” He questions with pride, lighting up his eyes at the prospect of singing with his daughter.
Lyric frantically nods, screeching joyfully when Kieran pulls her into his arms.
“This one’s for you,” he says in a low voice, locking eyes with me, sending shivers down my spine at the intensity of his gaze. Fuck me. It’s the same look he gave me last night when he rested above me, with his fingers settled deep inside my aching core. My pussy clenches at the memory. I’m such a fucking goner. I need Ode’s advice before I jump in headfirst and drown in them. “How about River’s song? Rushing River?”
Double fuck.
Rad snorts, whooping. “Let’s do this! Get ready, Pretty Girl. I’m about to serenade your panties off.”
“Panties?!” Lyric giggles into the microphone, making everyone else chuckle.
“Cal?” Kieran asks, locking eyes with the silent bassist.
A grin tugs at Cal’s lip, lighting up his face. “It’s been a while,” he says, plucking two strings on his bass.
“Ash?” Kieran asks with a broken voice, catching the guitarist off guard.
Licking his lips, Ash gives an unsure nod. “Yeah, man. River’s song.”
And with that, Lyric belts out the song she shouldn’t know. The song they only played at the Battle of the Bands winning celebration and recorded for their demo became a short-lived radio hit. The song they swore—because I happened to catch an interview—that they’d never publicly play again. I heard it everywhere I went. It followed me like their betrayal clung on. The day I had lunch with Seger and Zeppelin at that shitty diner, this song buried knives in my back, forcing me to relive what they did to me. Over and fucking over. And for some strange reason, my fucking daughter loved the shit out of it, making me suffer further.
Here it is again. The words are the same. About a roaring River, breaking through and making a life for themself. It’s about strength and perseverance. Before, Kieran snarled every word until he refused to play it again. Now, their tone is different. Happier. Joyful. Full of life. And dare I say, love.
Their smiles light up the room when Lyric perfectly duets Kieran, matching his pitch changes. Sometimes she goes higher. Occasionally she dips lower. Together, they’re creating an out-of-this-world sound. Almost like this is their destiny, like they belong together.
“Holy fucking shit!” Rad shouts, jumping from his stool. “Little Pretty Girl, you’ve got some pipes on you!” Kissing her hair, she giggles at his words, thanking him with a big hug.
“You sounded amazing, Little One,” Asher marvels, staring at her with stars in his eyes.
“So damn good. Shall we go again?” Kieran asks, earning a yes from her.
“Again!” she screams like she used to, begging to continue.
I watch in awe for the next several hours as my daughter commands the makeshift stage. She prances around with the microphone, throwing out some ballet moves. She screams. She wails. And dear God, she sings, carrying the tune like a damn pro.
“When did that happen?” Kieran asks, sitting beside me on the couch after calling it quits for the night when Lyric showed signs of slowing down.
Do not look at his shirtless chest. Or his tight jeans. In fact, don’t look at any fucking thing regarding him, or you’ll jump his bones. There’s a child in the room, for God’s sake.
He guzzles a water bottle in two seconds flat before wiping his mouth after he’s done. Why something so simple sends shivers directly to my pussy, has me questioning my sanity. I’ve gone without sex for so long without a thought. Now my body has reawakened, begging for more orgasms. Stupid body. It’s been two nights of orgasms, and suddenly, I want more.
I swallow hard, averting my eyes to my sleeping child snuggled beside me after too much activity. And stealthily avoid the half-naked man. If I don’t look at him, he’ll disappear, right? Before I do something stupid.
“When did what happen?” I ask, clearing my damn throat from all the lustful thoughts trying to break free and fulfill my damn fantasies.
Make it more obvious, would ya?
They’re already starting to cloud my thoughts with their manly scents, heated touches, and sinful looks. My stalker better be behind bars before long, or I’ll lose myself to them. Again. God, they’re like a fucking drug I can’t escape, infecting me with their beings.
I’m so fucking screwed, aren’t I?
I want to take it glacially slow and build something meaningful. Before I stupidly jump into the sack with them like I did before. Sure, sex sounds so wonderful now, but I want to be sure they’re in it for the long haul.
“Her singing.”
With so much affection, Kieran stares at Lyric, too, gazing at her sleeping form. She doesn’t move an inch when my fingers touch her tiny, red ears—barely stirring when my fingers weave through her hair and straighten it out.
“She’s a natural talent,” I murmur.
“Good news, everyone!” Jordy shouts from the basement stairs with a grin, throwing his arms out wide.
Dressed in his usual black attire with guns hanging off holsters, he strolls in like he owns the place. Typical fucking Jordy. A cocky smirk plays on his lips until he’s at the center of the room. Everyone eyes him when he untucks a file folder from beneath his arms and takes us in.
“How do you keep sneaking into my house?” Callum asks with a tic forming in his jaw. Agitation sparkles in his eyes like he’s ten seconds away from laying Jordy out flat. A fact I don’t doubt when he puts his bass down and cracks his knuckles.
“Special agent, duh,” he quips, affectionately eyeing Lyric as she rests beside me.
“What’s up, Professor?” I say jokingly, making him snort. “Anything good?”
Jordy nods, tapping the file folder and handing it to me with a grim expression. “Adrian was caught last night,” he says as I flip open to a picture of a messy apartment littered with trash and debris. How anyone lived there is beyond me. Dirt and grime make up the walls and the furniture.
“Is he in jail?” Kieran asks, straightening his spine.
“Better,” Jordy says, helping me flip to another page. “Adrian was such a pussy about getting caught that he ended everything before we could question him.” He rolls his lips together. “Sorry, we didn’t get you any clear answers, Riv.” Shaking his head, he points to the report, stating Adrian shot himself in bed. “But it’s over, at least.”
“No notes or anything?”
Jordy snorts, scratching the back of his head. “We’re still investigating his apartment. But we found your old phone, a camera, and a shit ton of pictures of you. From errr…your house, the beach, and anywhere this sick fuck could get into. Basically, it’s all pointing to this asshole 100 percent.”
My damn heart drops. Right. That asshole had access to my house. “Fuck. He saved them from my house?”
Jordy squats down, making eye contact with me, and gives me a reassuring look. “From what we could tell from your old phone, he was able to gain access to your cameras.” I blanch, bringing a hand to my chest, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. Another hand grasps mine, squeezing in support as I get the full picture of my stalker’s activities.
“You’ll let me know if you find a connection? I don’t understand why someone I don’t even know would follow me around.”
It’s always blown my fucking mind that someone would want to follow me around. I’m so damn dull and do the same shit every day. Go to work. Take care of Ly. The list goes on and on. I’m never in the same spot for too long and always taking care of others. So, why in the hell would some asshole want pictures of my boring life? I’ll never fucking understand.
“Always, Dollface. I’ll keep you updated on anything new. So far, all we have is what we’ve investigated. Stalkers tend to latch on to a person who fits an idea rather than the person themselves. Our running theory after checking into his background is Adrian had an ex who passed four years ago, who was around your age, build, and height. So, we think somewhere along the way, the two of you crossed paths, and he latched on to you. And as soon as these assholes came into the picture, something flipped in him. Maybe it was meeting you again in real life at the fight, but we’re not totally sure. But we’re pretty damn confident he’s our guy.” He claps his hands with confidence, shutting the door on my entire stalker situation.
I should feel relieved that this whole thing is over, and I can rest easy now, but something nags at the back of my mind. From here on out, I’ll be looking over my shoulder. No matter what.
“Liv will keep you updated, too. Since she’s your go to and all. Which is hurtful by the way. I thought we were pretty tight. She’ll be thrilled to have you under her nose again. She’s been a damn beast since she sent you away.” He scrunches his nose. “Please come home soon,” he quips, flicking my nose like the annoying gnat he is.
Fucker.
“Bastard,” I grunt as the others tense at his actions. Gently, I run my fingers over the soreness on my nose.
“When can we?” Rad asks, running a towel through his sweaty mullet.
“Whenever you want,” Jordy says. “We see zero threats from here on out. All of our intel suggests it was him, and with the evidence…Liv has officially declared you free to leave your sex house.”
“What’s a sex house?” Lyric asks in a tired rasp, scratching at her eyes.
“It’s how your little brother or sister gets produced,” Jordy says, earning a glare from me and everyone else in the room.
Oh hell no. I’ve had an IUD secured for four years now. Since the moment Ly blessed me with her presence, I wasn’t taking any chances.
“Not cool, asshole,” Rad mutters, shaking his head.
“Brother? Sister?” she squeals, sitting up with big eyes, looking at all of us with hope. It’s the one thing she’s begged me for since she was three—siblings.
“Maybe one day, Little Pretty Girl,” Rad says, giving her a lopsided grin and winking in my direction.
“Nope!” I croak, turning to Ly. “They’re using adult words again. Something you shouldn’t repeat.” She blinks several times at me and nods.
“Okay,” she says with a shrug.
“Okay, here are all your phones,” Jordy says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out four phones. “Both of yours are still in evidence.”
I cringe. “Will you keep it forever?”
“Believe me. There’s nothing on there you want right now.” Jordy shakes his head, giving me a look. “All right, kiddies, especially you,” he says, grinning at Lyric. “We’re leaving our post. You’re free to leave. Our private jet is waiting for you all to decide. So, call me! I’ve put my number in each of your phones. I know we have this intense bond now,” he quips, walking backward and pointing finger guns in our direction.
“Bye, Uncle J!” Lyric waves as he disappears up the stairs and presumably leaves the house.
“We’ll get you a new phone,” Kieran says, squeezing my hand.
I snort. “I can buy my own these days.”
Memories of the phone they gave me run through my mind on repeat. They had been so thoughtful when they did it, and it helped so much to finally have a working phone that didn’t abruptly end calls or have a cracked screen.
“I know,” Kieran smirks, looking down at his phone and scrolling through his messages. Without warning, the joyous look he has falls away into annoyance. “Fuck,” he grunts, scrolling through message after message.
“Everything okay?”
Kieran sighs, showing me his screen. “It’s never-ending.”
Gloria
I need money….
I’m almost out of coffee, Kieran!
Kieran! Where are you?
Kieran! Please!
KIERAN!
Kieran rubs his temple with a pained expression. “I’ve been paying her way,” he mutters. “I was trying to look out for my sister, and I had to take care of her. But if I would have known what she pulled, she never would have been given a penthouse and princess treatment,” he growls through clenched teeth, glaring a hole through the floor.
I pat his arm. “You didn’t know. Plus, she’s your mom.”
“A mom who went behind my back and filed a restraining order without my knowledge. She knew what she was doing. Now, I just have to figure out how to punish her,” he says, squeezing his fingers into fists.
“I’ll help,” Rad says with fire in his eyes. “You’re not the only one she fucked over with her scheme. I’ll put a boot in her stuck-up ass and throw her out onto the streets. Where she belongs.”
“I helped you get her into the mess. I’ll help you evict her,” Asher says, sitting on the edge of a chair with his brows furrowed.
“Okay,” Kieran says with a nod. “You can all help. But we’ll have to come up with a plan.”
Gloria
You know what? I just found some. I’ll talk to you later, K. :)
His nose wrinkles at her message before he darkens his screen and shoves it into his pocket.
“I’ll deal with her later,” he grumbles, putting his hand on my knee.
We sit and talk for a few more hours, reminding me of the old times when we hung out at Callum’s and did exactly this. We don’t discuss anything important. But they make me laugh more times than I can count.
And that night, when I slip into bed, two more bodies follow, helping me drift off to dreamland. Getting the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages. The overwhelming feeling of rightness settles over me. No matter my reservations, they will always have a piece of my damn heart.
They’re my damn kryptonite.
“Night, Pretty Girl.”
“Night, Little Star.”
“Night,” I sigh, snuggled between them without any mom guilt, knowing Ly is safely tucked away in a bed down the hall.
The moment we came upstairs, Lyric clung to Kieran and asked him to read her a bedtime story and stayed with him for the rest of the night.