Seventeen
Now
Norah watched Freddie and Luna playing in the back garden in his little sandpit while she sat peacefully in a deckchair, soaking up some sun. They looked so happy together.
It made her wonder what it would have been like if she’d had a second. They’d thought it over, her and Max, but in the end, it seemed like there just weren’t the extra resources for another one. Time, energy and money were in short supply. They’d decided to give what they had to Freddie.
Of course, there was an additional reason not to have another, but that went unsaid. Oh, and speaking of her husband, was that the front door?
‘Hey, kids, you OK out here?’ Norah called to them.
‘YEAH!’ they yelled.
Norah went indoors to rip her husband to shreds. However, she did have to find the bugger first.
She eventually tracked him down to the shower, where he was soaping himself casually, like a man who had all the time in the world and nothing to fear.
Norah wanted to take his satisfaction from him. ‘Max,’ she said loudly.
He turned in surprise and nearly slipped. ‘Fuck me, Norah. That’s how necks get broken!’
Norah took the segue with aplomb. ‘No, how necks get broken is by leaving your child with a total stranger and pissing off to work without checking in with your wife.’
He frowned. ‘Did you just threaten to break my neck?’
‘It was a joke. Sort of,’ Norah said.
‘I had an emergency!’ he whined. ‘The weekend manager called to tell me that three people called in sick. I had to serve, for god’s sake. And that woman said you knew her. I thought it would be fine.’
‘You don’t even know her name,’ Norah said, shaking her head.
‘I do. It’s... Daisy?’
‘Poppy.’
‘I knew it was a flower name,’ he said dismissively, stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel.
‘You don’t even know what you did wrong, do you?’ Norah said.
‘My job’s important, Norah.’
‘More than your child?’ Norah asked.
‘Sometimes, yes!’ he snapped.
Norah stared at him. ‘I’m going downstairs now. So you can be alone with what you just said.’ She walked out of the bathroom.
‘Norah!’ he called after her.
Norah went downstairs just in time to see through the glass front door that Poppy was coming up the path. She opened the door to meet her. ‘Hi,’ she said.
Poppy’s mouth began to form the start of a greeting, and then her brow creased. Confusion took her face, and then horror. She was looking behind Norah. Norah knew what she’d seen before she even turned around and saw her stupid, nude husband jogging down the stairs to finish their row.
‘Christ!’ Max cried as he locked eyes with Poppy, cupping his junk, turned tail (so to speak) and ran upstairs, his buttocks jumping.
Norah turned back to Poppy. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, clutching her heart in true shame.
But Poppy’s horror had passed, and now she was laughing. ‘I thought I’d seen the last sausage roll of the day, but I guess not.’
Norah wanted to die. ‘The kids are in the backyard; Luna didn’t see it... that... anything.’
‘OK. You alright?’ Poppy asked.
‘No, yes, sorry. Come in.’
Poppy came in, and Norah led her through to the back, where she yelled, ‘Hey, kiddo!’
Luna turned, ‘Hi, Mum! Just playing!’ Then she went back to digging a trench around a sandcastle.
‘She usually runs straight for me. She must love playing with Freddie,’ Poppy noted.
‘He’s a pretty good hang,’ Norah said, still trying to get over her embarrassment.
‘Hey, are you at this party tomorrow?’ Poppy asked.
‘What, Drew? Yeah.’
‘Where the hell is it, by the way?’ Poppy asked. ‘I keep meaning to Google map it.’
‘A farm about twenty-five minutes away. I’ve been there a few times. It’s a good place for the kids. They have animals, of course, but it’s all about the play park. It's epic.’
‘Twenty-five minutes away?’ Poppy repeated.
Norah couldn’t miss the concern in her tone. ‘Are you worried about finding it?’ Norah asked.
‘I had to sell my car,’ Poppy admitted, trying to hide her embarrassment, but Norah could see it.
She decided the best thing to do was to approach the problem practically. ‘Did you keep the kid’s car seat?’
Poppy raised an eyebrow. ‘Yes...’
‘Come with us.’
‘No, you’ve done me enough favours. I’ll figure something out...’
Norah shook her head. ‘I’ll drop by your place at about ten thirty. We’ll get the seat set up in my car.’
Poppy gaped at her. ‘You’re saving my actual life at the moment.’
‘We’re saving each other’s,’ Norah assured her.
She really meant it. There was a lot wrong with Norah’s life, but Poppy’s appearance wasn’t on that list anymore. She was glad of the shift. All it took was her selfish bastard of a husband to be his usual self, and somehow, things were different. Their past felt less like a huge balloon full of old pain that Norah was holding on to. It was deflating, shrivelling, drooping.
She just hoped she didn’t do something stupid, like attempting to address what had happened at the end. Everything would be better if she could just let that part go. They were kids, right? Eighteen. You couldn’t hold someone responsible for something that happened when they were barely out of braces.
‘Wait, is there room in the car? Three adults and two kids?’ Poppy exclaimed.
‘Max never comes to the parties. It’s his relaxation time,’ Norah admitted.
Poppy didn’t react to that. ‘Well, his loss is my gain. Thanks, Norah.’ She turned. ‘Luna! Let’s roll!’
‘In a minute!’
‘We’re having pizza for dinner, but only if you come right now.’
Luna stood and started brushing sand off herself.
‘We’re having pizza no matter what she does,’ Poppy said quietly, out of the corner of her mouth. ‘Because I want it.’
‘Let them never find out we love junk food as much as them,’ Norah replied.
And with that, Norah knew she and Poppy were mum friends.
Twenty Years Ago
Norah was seething. This was getting ridiculous. It had been a week, and she could not get hold of Poppy. She lived down the street, and she couldn’t find a single minute for Norah. After everything?
She looked at the last text she’d had from Poppy for the hundredth time.
Sorry, the band is busy right now. There’s a showcase next week and someone from a label is coming. We’re practising every minute.
That was it. That was all she had to say. Nothing about them being together. Nothing about any kind of feeling. Not a thing to imply she was desperate to see her or anything like that.
Norah had seen Poppy around school, but the few times they’d bumped into each other in school, the disinterest was unmissable. ‘Oh, hi. Nice to see you. Got to run.’
Norah was pretty sure she was getting dumped. She felt so stupid, so hurt, so blindingly angry. She’d thought they were something. She’d thought...
How could someone who’d written a song about her turn out to be a user?
Norah couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t just let this happen without saying something. While she had no desire to look Poppy in the eye and have it all confirmed, she was losing her mind. She needed the truth.
She walked downstairs to see her mother coming in. ‘You going somewhere?’ she asked, taking her coat off.
‘Yeah, just need a quick word with... Poppy,’ she said nervously. She’d tried not to bring her up since the snoggus interruptus incident.
‘You haven’t seen her much lately?’ her mother said.
‘Is that a question?’ Norah asked.
‘An observation, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, I guess.’ They looked at each other like there might be more to say. But no one said it, so Norah decided to tie the interaction off. ‘Well, back in a bit.’
She left the house, walked down the street and up the path to Poppy’s. She didn’t ring the bell right away. She needed to collect herself, think up a game plan, an opening line, something. Then she realised if she stood out here much longer, someone was going to look out of a window and see her psyching herself up, which would make this whole thing that much more embarrassing. So she rang the doorbell.
She heard someone walking towards the door. It was fifty-fifty whether it was Poppy or her mum who would answer.
It was Poppy. ‘Oh, hi!’ she said, trying to smile, but Norah saw the fear in her eyes.
Norah licked her lips. ‘Hello. Thought I’d pop round and check in.’
‘Check in?’ Poppy asked.
‘Yeah.’
That hung in the air for a while, heavy. In that silence, Norah hoped she was wrong about this and it was just a misunderstanding.
‘I’m a bit busy,’ Poppy said. ‘Homework.’
Norah pushed down the lump in her throat. ‘So that’s it, is it?’ she managed to say.
Poppy looked down. ‘Yeah.’
Norah realised Poppy was just waiting for her to get the hint and go.
It was all true. Norah had been used. She knew Poppy was more experienced than she was, but she’d never guessed she was like this. That it was all a game to her. That she didn’t give a shit about her now she’d gotten her ‘prize.’
‘OK,’ Norah said. She turned and walked down the path, hearing the door shut behind her.
She went home, walking into the house where her mother seemed to be waiting for her.
‘Everything OK?’ she asked nervously.
She’d seen this coming, somehow. Norah supposed it was motherly intuition.
Norah began to cry, something she rarely did around her mother. Her mother came to her and held her, also a rarity.
‘It’s OK,’ she said.
But it wasn’t—it was heartbreak.