Chapter Nine
“Emma, are you even trying?” Keil asked as I closed my eyes and tried to visualize my melody.
“Of course, I’m trying,” I puffed out. Can he not see the sweat dripping off of me? I was trying extremely hard, as a matter of fact.
“Yes, yes. I see it. You are trying, but your melody is all over the place, splayed out for anyone to find. Hurry up and call it back.”
I looked at the crystal necklace I set on the table and seriously wondered why I had ever taken it off in the first place.
“I am!” I shouted as I opened my eyes and walked over to him.
“I am trying, Keil,” I glared and took in a sharp breath, then turned around so that he couldn’t see my face.
I didn’t need him pulling Shad in to calm me down.
I hadn’t seen Shad since our shared kiss in the car, and I didn’t want to see him for a while if I could avoid him.
We were in the living room of Keil’s and Shad’s house. He had moved the couch and the coffee table out of the way. I pulled my shoulders back and called to my melody. I tried to play each note and remember each sound they made. I tried to calm my melody down, but it wasn’t listening.
“You need to focus.” His deep voice was behind me.
I could feel the monster inside of me rise up, trying to reach freedom.
Keil placed his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t let the corruption out; forget about the monster, and breathe as if it isn’t even there, because it isn’t there if you don’t want it there. Listen to my melody for a moment.”
I heard his melody, faintly. It was more difficult to locate than my own, but I found it.
It was calm and peaceful. Then it spiked and went fast and then slow.
Many feelings flooded me and went back and forth and through me.
Feelings of despair, pain, longing, happiness, pure joy, and excitement sashayed their way up and down, inside and through me.
I collapsed onto the floor, covering my ears.
It was too much, and it was too strong. Keil was no longer touching my shoulders after I collapsed, and his melody was silenced.
“That is what your melody is doing daily, granted your melody is much stronger than mine, but this is what it feels like.” He reached for my hand.
“Now, watch as I tame it back.” He left his eyes open as if trying to prove the point that he knew exactly what he was doing.
He let his melody free again, and I stood firm, waiting to see what he did.
Slowly, but efficiently, his song drifted back into him, each small puzzle piece of emotion, feeling, and desire creating one dazzling whole that was Keil.
A beautiful melody buzzed around him. He shielded his soul again.
“That is the goal. Now, you try. Remember, you must remain present in this moment. Place the monster inside a box and lock it. Lock away everything that is distracting you. Your melody is wild because you are not here with me in this room. You must be here. You are allowing all of your worries to bubble to the surface, and then they become manifest within your melody, like a bubbling volcano erupting. You need to cool yourself down, stay calm, and only let out a small trickle of melody. You must breathe, and you must focus on your breath, focus on the way you are standing, how your shoulders feel, how your arms feel dangling at your side, your neck, the strength of your legs that hold you up, your relationship to the ground, the way your feet are spread apart. Focus on your heart, what is inside of you in relation to it all, to your mind, to your body, to your soul, and to your melody.”
I closed my eyes, and the creature returned to her cage.
I stood tall with my shoulders back and focused on my head, thinking about how my neck was holding it up, and then on my shoulders, how my spine felt, as it helped me to stand up tall and sure, even if I didn't feel sure at all.
I concentrated on how my legs, the two of them, connected me to the ground, along with my feet—how they held me up.
I wiggled my toes, and focused on their relationship with the ground.
I focused on my center; I breathed in, and I breathed out.
“That is good, Emma, very good.”
I opened my eyes and listened to my melody. It was softly singing inside me. There was one small part of my melody that wasn't as clear to me as the other parts, almost like it was caught up in a fog. It was distant and unclear.
Whatever—that small piece doesn't matter; as a whole, I have done well enough. I smiled, and then, it let loose again.
Keil handed me my crystal, and I put it on.
“Remember, you may think that you are hiding the corruption inside of yourself, but we all can sense it, and it damages that crystal. The more corrupt your soul, the more the magic inside the crystal will die. Try to remember that.” He paused, and I just wanted to go to sleep for a hundred years.
I could feel the cool crystal against my skin for a moment before the heat pulsed inside of it.
“I think that is enough for today. Be sure to get your rest. Remember, your melody is vulnerable right now while we train. It is even easier for the corruption to overpower you. Be sure that you have someone with you at all times. Mary or Ryker will know how to help you.”
I nodded, still proud of myself for doing something right for a change and grateful that Keil didn't seem to know that I had kissed Shad.