Chapter 11 #2
Ash sighs. “Yeah, about that… From now on, when an order comes in, can you leave out the tequila?” He grimaces, feeling bad for going behind Kieran’s back. Definitely not his proudest moment.
Jyoti’s eyebrow rises minutely, but she nods. “You got it.”
“Thank you.”
“Lovers’ quarrel?”
“Not quite.” He keeps it vague, figuring that trying to explain that his boyfriend time-traveled here from the past might be a little above her pay grade.
Making his way back, Ash’s stomach drops when he glances over just in time to see Kieran charging toward the pool before leaping in.
“Kieran!” he shouts, earning a few looks, but he couldn’t care less. He hurries over, letting out a huge breath of relief when Kieran resurfaces, seemingly unscathed. “Are you out of your mind? Get out.”
Kieran blinks, then glares at Ash so hard it’s surprising he doesn’t catch fire. “Fuck you! You can’t tell me what to do.”
Oh man, it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull. “I can, and I am. Get out. Right now.”
For a brief moment, Kieran hesitates. Motionless, uncertain. The pause hits Ash with the force of a lorry running on guilt.
This Kieran doesn’t know the rules. He doesn’t understand their dynamic, didn’t agree to it. He's unaware of his own submissive nature, yet there’s something in the way he responds to Ash. Something that, despite the confusion, makes him want to listen, to give in.
He’s always been like that, even two years ago. If the circumstances were different, Ash would find that reluctant eagerness utterly disarming.
Finally, after a long, tense moment, Kieran licks his slightly trembling lips and demands, “What the fuck is your problem?” It doesn’t come out as stern as he might’ve intended, the emotional push and pull likely messing with his head.
“Kieran, you can barely walk straight,” Ash says, forcing himself to stay calm, to go easy on him. “You really think that it’s a great idea to go swimming? Do you have a death wish?”
“And you call me dramatic.” Kieran huffs, but something about him is softer now, not as guarded. “I’m not gonna drown in five feet of water. I’m not coming out; it’s fucking hot outside.”
“Okay,” Ash decides diplomatically, changing tactics. “You don’t mind if I keep an eye on you, do you?” To demonstrate, he lowers himself to the ground, letting his legs hang over the edge of the pool. He got himself so riled up, the cool water swallowing his feet is actually doing wonders for him.
“I’m not a child that needs to be supervised.” The pout that appears contradicts that statement.
Ash tries not to smile, but it’s a losing battle. “I beg to differ.”
Kieran harrumphs.
“And no jumping. It’s too shallow, and you can slip.”
Kieran splashes water everywhere with an exaggerated flail of arms. “Stop telling me what to do! I don’t—”
“Kieran.” Something about Ash’s voice makes Kieran pause. “Please, just… I’m worried, okay? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
After another lengthy pause, Kieran sighs. “Fine. Jesus. Way to kill my buzz.” He twirls around, swimming away from Ash.
Ash smiles. He can’t help it. Kieran is such a good boy, and he doesn’t even realize. And Ash can’t do anything about it, because they’re not in that kind of relationship yet.
God, this is killing him.
While Kieran swims around, purposefully ignoring him, Ash’s mind wanders. He replays the events of the past two years, but his focus hones in on the weeks that followed after that night—after he’d brought Kieran home from the pub, staying until he finally fell asleep.
Kieran’s behavior after that night makes complete sense in hindsight.
All the things Ash had been so thrown off by are suddenly clear.
The drastic change in Kieran’s demeanor.
The chaotic energy around him that seemed to have suddenly settled like dust after a storm.
The way he’d spoken like he knew something that Ash didn’t, which, frankly, had been the most baffling of all because when had anyone ever known better than Ash?
Not much you don’t know when you have access to people’s minds.
Not to mention all those things Kieran did after—
A loud splash breaks through Ash’s little trip down memory lane.
“Done?” he asks as Kieran climbs up the small ladder out of the pool.
“I’m getting pruny.”
Uh-huh. Sure it’s not because he doesn’t like Ash watching his every move.
“I see.”
“You’re not going in? Aren’t you hot?” Kieran’s gaze travels over him judgmentally.
“Maybe later.”
Kieran shrugs, plopping back onto the lounger, soaking wet. He makes an instant grab for the margarita glass, pouting when he notices it’s empty.
“Hey, excuse me?” He waves the glass at the waitress collecting the dishes a few loungers over. “Can I get another one?”
“Of course.”
“Cheers.” He shoots a suspicious glance towards Ash. “What, no reprimanding speech this time?”
“Would it help?”
“Now you’re getting it,” Kieran says with a grin. Oh, the trials this man puts Ash through. “What’s your tattoo mean, by the way?”
Ash’s gaze slides to his forearm, as if he just now noticed it. “The compass? It’s a psychology thing.”
Kieran snorts. “Shocker.”
“Indeed. It wasn’t very creative on my part, but it fit the vibe. It symbolizes guidance, in life or through people’s minds. Showing them the way, helping them find and follow their North Star.”
“Cute,” Kieran comments. “Are you getting a part of it removed?”
Ash traces the pad of a finger over a patch of skin with broken ink. He needs only a couple more sessions before it’ll be completely gone.
“Yeah. It’s almost done.”
“What was it?” Kieran chuckles. “An ex-boyfriend’s name?”
Ash suppresses a smile. “Something like that.”
Kieran doesn’t seem happy. He mumbles something, then sighs. “So, two years?”
Despite being a little surprised by Kieran initiating this particular conversation, Ash humors him. “Indeed.”
Kieran answers with an ambiguous huff, his fingers drumming against the wooden armrests. Ash has seen him do it often enough to recognize it as a sign of anxiety.
“This is insane.”
“Are you talking about anything specific? Or the whole situation in general?”
“I mean…” Kieran shifts so he’s mostly facing him. “What could you have possibly done to win me over? So far, you’ve just been an annoying ass. And you’re a guy.” He slides the sunnies lower so Ash can get a full blast of his suspicious glare. “Maybe you blackmailed me.”
Ash’s lips twitch involuntarily. “Funny how you assume it was me who had to do any winning over.”
“Excuse me! You’ve been trying to s-seduce me since we met.”
And now he’s even tripping over his words. Damn, why is he being so cute?
“Uh-huh.”
“God, you’re irritating.” Twisting away from Ash, Kieran crosses his arms. His silence lasts for about ten seconds. “Hey.”
“Yes, dear?”
A few curse words and a handful of deep breaths later, Kieran speaks. “I thought you wanted to hit it and quit it. For sport, or something. How come we’re—” He gestures between them. “Like this, two years later?”
It’s tempting, it really is, to just spill the beans and give Kieran a full rundown of their time together.
To see his guarded eyes grow increasingly wider, his skeptical expression replaced with disbelief and reluctant hope.
To watch him try and fail to use logic to explain everything away, only to come to the undeniable conclusion that this, them, had always been inevitable.
Their lives were always meant to collide.
It's tempting, but it wouldn’t be right. Kieran might know the endgame, might even see the path, but there’s no point if he’s not willing to take it. As cliché as it is, the journey is what counts here.
Ash just has to trust that Kieran will take it. That he'll take it with him.
“You won me over. By being yourself,” he finally says.
Kieran scowls so hard Ash is slightly worried his face will get stuck like that. “Asshole. You’re so full of shit.”
“Mhmm.”
“Um…how did Dawson react when he found out?” Look at him soften when he’s talking about his best friend. Ash is almost jealous. Almost.
That being said, this is information he is happy to share. “Let’s just say you’re never gonna live it down.”
Kieran’s nose twitches in displeasure. “That I’m now an equal opportunist, or that we’re dating?”
Ash smothers a smile. Truth be told, Dawson barely blinked at Kieran’s bi-discovery. Turns out he’s a big believer in fluid sexuality.
As for the news that his best friend is dating Ash…
“He was convinced we were pulling his leg. Didn’t believe us for months.”
A giggle tumbles out of Kieran’s mouth. “Figures. I mean, I woke up in bed with you and I can barely believe it. So, what changed his mind?”
Catching us with my hand down your pants did the trick alright.
“Let’s just say something happened that left no room for doubt.”
Kieran, the smart cookie he is, catches on almost instantly. “That better not mean what I think it means.” The haunted voice makes it hard not to laugh.
“I plead the fifth.”
“Okay. That’s enough. I’m done. No more questions, just margaritas.”
On cue, the waitress appears, holding a tray with two drinks. “Here’s your margarita.”
“Thank god. Impeccable timing.” Kieran cradles the glass between his hands like it’s a precious treasure.
“He gave me the speech.” Ash says, unprompted.
“Huh?”
“Dawson. He gave me the speech.”
Kieran chokes a little. “He did not.” His shoulders tremble. “Dee? My Dee?”
“The one and only.”
“What kind of speech, exactly?”
“The ‘you hurt him and I’ll kill you’ speech.”
“Oh. My. God.” Taking off the sunnies, he uses the back of his hand to wipe tears from his eyes. “I wish I was there. Fuck, I can’t believe it.”
“Why not? He loves you. He wants you to be happy.”
It’s a fact, an obvious one, but Kieran reacts like the notion has never crossed his mind. His whole demeanor changes, as does his face. A reluctant smile pulls at the corners of his lips.
It takes everything Ash has not to reach over and hold him.
“What about him?” Kieran asks. “Is he? Happy? I-I know I, well…the other me said so, but…I can be full of shit too.”
It doesn’t take mind-reading to figure out he must be referring to the situation with Cal.
“Happiest you’ve seen him. Your words.”
“That’s…uh, good.” He nods, as if confirming the fact to himself.
“I’m so sorry.” The waitress from before pops up again. “I gave you the wrong drink. This one is yours.”
Confused, Kieran’s gaze flicks between the margarita in his hand and the one the waitress is holding out to him. “Aren’t they the same?”
“That one has alcohol,” she clarifies, nodding to the glass in Kieran’s hand.
“Duh?”
“Didn’t you…order non-alcoholic?”
“Pfft, no. I’d never—”
The pause is ominous, twisting Ash’s stomach into knots. He’s cooked.
“Wait, did you…” The slowly sinking realization in Kieran’s eyes, before they fill with anger and hurt, has Ash questioning his whole existence. He should probably start a book called: How to fuck up in a thousand and one ways.
“Kieran—”
Too late; Kieran’s already out of the lounger.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! You don’t get your way, so you resort to manipulation?!”
Wide-eyed, the waitress scurries away.
Ash gets to his feet, making the mistake of taking a step towards him.
“Kieran, that’s not—”
“Fuck you!”
The contents of the glass end up in Ash’s face.
“And don’t you dare come near me. Once we’re out of here, I don’t wanna see your face ever again, you piece of shit.”
His eyes burning like they’ve been set on fire, Ash can only listen to him trudge away. His heart sinks with each step Kieran takes away from him, like a chasm opening up between them.
Well done, Cleaver. Even with mind-reading abilities, you’re still a total moron.
Back to square one.