22. Hollow
22
Hollow
T HE hospital lights shone too bright, giving Roselin a headache. She stood in the hallway. A cast surrounded her broken wrist. Her heart hurt, her head, body, everything. The hospital might have given her some clothes without the blood, but it couldn’t replace the memories she never wanted to think back to. There was a gaping hole in her chest, and she wished to lie in bed until the world returned to normal.
But the world would never be the same again.
Normal lured Roselin into a false sense of security, and now the universe laughed at her. Since Mum died instead of her, the universe had done every possible thing to punish her. Tears stung her eyes.
Roselin fought with all her strength for her mum—she tried everything to stop her ex, but Mum stepped in front of her. The moment had played over and over in her mind, and she didn’t seem to find what other decision would change the outcome. Except to play along with her ex’s games and give him what he wanted… her .
Roselin pushed her palms against her eyes. A shaking breath left her. Now it was the same situation again. Another memory playing on repeat and overanalysing what she should’ve done differently.
Should she have called Ryu sooner? Gale had backup; he would’ve known Roselin didn’t come alone, and Gale might have killed Ryu instead of Nadia. She knew she wasn’t able to live with that outcome either.
Or what if she’d brought the Driver? No. It would have been the same thing.
And if she’d contacted the police like a normal person would? Gale’s father would’ve corrupted the officers into doing nothing.
But what if she’d played along with Gale? What if she’d understood Nadia was trying to give her a way out? Nadia might have lived. Roselin wouldn’t have survived, but it was an outcome she’d expected. Would Gale have made her set a trap for Ryu? If so, what if she’d found a means to signal Ryu somehow, and he would’ve done his thing?
What if she hadn’t come to the city at all? Perhaps, Gunter would still be alive. Hugo wouldn’t have been wounded. All these people…
With her hand in her hair, Roselin stared through the window into Ryu’s room. She watched his chest rising slowly with every breath, his eyes closed, asleep so peacefully in a world of chaos.
She gathered her composure, wiped away the tears, straightening her back, and with trembling fingers, she opened the door. The floor was cold under her bare feet. One small step after another, Roselin inched closer to him as she held her breath. Careful not to wake him. She tried to push the wave of memories away with the emotions that wanted to drown her.
It was her fault; the same thought kept haunting her. Gale was her enemy, not Ryu’s. She sat down on the side of the bed, and her warm fingers brushed his icy cheek. “I’m so sorry, Ryu.” She kissed his lips, stroking his hair. Guilt ate at her stomach. “Please forgive me.”
Ryu.
Nadia.
Gunter and Hugo.
The Driver.
The innocents on the tram and their families.
There were so many people she needed to ask forgiveness from.
Roselin lay down beside Ryu. Resting her head against his chest, she carefully took Ryu’s arm and wrapped it around herself. The sweet but spicy scent of his cologne reached deep inside her nose. She closed her eyes. Only she and Ryu existed in this very moment. No one else to feed her guilt. No one else who was hurt or got killed. Only they remained in a world where she didn’t have to think about anything that had happened.
Ryu stirred, his fingers reaching for her hair. “My beautiful darling Rose,” Ryu said with a hoarse voice. His eyes fell on the cast around her wrist, and darkness crossed his face.
She buried her face in his chest. He stroked her locks, his lips kissing her head. A groan of discomfort escaped him.
He was in pain, and she was the one to blame. “Please forgive me.” Her fingers clutched his hospital gown. “I’ll do anything for you to forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Rose. You have done no wrong,” he said into her hair.
“You got shot—hurt—I didn’t listen. I didn’t call you… and blood—so much blood,” she stuttered.
“Rose, you didn’t—”
“You don’t want to forgive me? Please forgive me.”
Ryu shuffled down, their faces on the same level. He kissed her cheek and rested his head against hers. “You’re forgiven, my beautiful, kind Rose.”
“Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. “ Thank you .” Roselin couldn’t express it enough, and maybe one day, she believed she was truly forgiven.
“Now tell me, how badly are you hurt?” His knuckles stroked along her arm to her wrist while he ignored his own pain.
“I’m okay.” She gave him a grimace smile.
“No, you’re not.” But he didn’t push further. Her own exhaustion reflected in his face, and she had never seen him this vulnerable. “Could you turn on the news?” Ryu asked, his eyes drowsy from the anaesthesia.
Her heart sank. The televisions in the hospital were all showing the same thing—probably all the other televisions in the city, too. A news reader covering what happened tonight at the dorms. She tried to drown out the sounds. To ignore anything anyone was saying about it. Perhaps denial played a role.
Was it possible to be in denial and still feel guilty?
She swallowed the lump in her throat as she turned on the small television under the protest of her own mind. Flashing lights, officers, and people in white suits behind a police line filled the screen. The reporter came into view.
“Although the police won’t give us any details, the information we are sure of is that the group called the Brotherhood—already responsible for the attack on the tram—have shown their violent protest again. Claiming more victims. Mister Russo states it’s an attack on our way of living in the city of New Arcadia.”
When the reporter mentioned Russo’s name, Roselin’s hand clenched Ryu’s shirt tighter. A wave of nausea forced her to lie back.
“Despite the brave effort of the security company Hogo Security, who coincidentally were on the scene protecting civilians, some of the Brotherhood escaped. The founders assure us not to worry. If we stay safely in our homes and don’t let strangers in, we’ll be protected as the founders have always promised,” the reporter continued, as if Roselin’s world wasn’t turned upside down.
Were they really safe, or were these more false promises to keep the oblivious people happy?
“Still, citizens wonder. Why did the fight last so long? Where were our brave police officers? Could someone have prevented tonight from happening? When we gain more information, we’ll be sure to bring the news to the people at home, but for now, let’s take a moment to remember the victims we know of so far.” Photos replaced the reporter, and Roselin quickly turned off the television.
Ryu held her hand in his. “Rose… I’m sorry about Na—”
She kissed him to stop him from speaking. “Please don’t. I can’t—” Her voice broke. She hid her face in her hands, and Ryu took her into his arms again.
“We’ll find him, Rose. He won’t get away with this.”
A knock on the door interrupted them. Two police officers stepped in. “He’s recovering,” the doctor said, with a frown, rushing after them.
Roselin jerked up, jumping off the bed.
“Every minute counts, Doc,” the woman said, her black hair tied up with a blue bow matching her uniform. The female officer turned to Ryu. “Mister Botan, I’m Diniz, and this is my colleague Ivanov. We would like to ask you a few questions.”
“You heard the doctor,” Ryu grimaced. “I’m recovering.”
“It’s important to catch the group behind this,” Diniz pressed.
Ryu opened his mouth, but Roselin interrupted him. “Gale Russo.” Diniz furrowed her brows as Ivanov’s lips formed a thin line. “It was Gale Russo. He’s part of the Brotherhood. He murdered…” Her voice caught in her throat, and she swallowed deep. “Galeazzo Russo killed Nadia Savko.”
Ivanov laughed. “The son of the justice attorney Russo?”
Her face fell. “It’s not funny.” Her hands closed into fists. “Shouldn’t you write it down in your little notebook?” Frustration broke through her voice, and Ryu held her hand.
“Are you sure it was Galeazzo Russo?” Diniz asked.
“You heard her,” Ryu backed her up. “And me, my men—probably other eyewitnesses have seen it too.”
Diniz opened her mouth, but Ivanov stepped forward before her. “Gale Russo has an alibi.”
“Oh, you’ve interviewed him? Why did you ask? Was he taking a stroll close by? A witness seeing everything you exactly needed? How did the kid explain the wound on his side?” Ryu said, his calm voice sending cold chills to her body. Guess Ryu wasn’t hiding behind politics anymore.
“So you’re saying Gale Russo murdered Nadia Savko in your apartment where you were too? Do you think Gale will recall the same events?” Ivanov turned to her, ignoring Ryu, and she inched backwards.
A shadow grew on the wall. “What are you implying?” Ryu said as he sat up, trying to get out of bed, but the doctor stopped him.
The blood drained from Roselin’s face. Gale kept saying it was her fault. She had said it was her fault. Would Gale confess she was the one who killed Nadia? Or did he already tell them?
But it wasn’t her… or, at least, not the one holding the knife. Roselin fought back the tears, and she raised her chin. She refused to let the cops see her cry.
Ivanov rested his hand on the handle of his gun, and Diniz intervened. “We should leave you alone for now. Take some rest. We can write down both of your statements later.” Diniz gave Roselin a warm smile. She reached into her pocket and handed Roselin a card. “Call me when anything else important comes up.”
As Diniz and Ivanov left, the doctor shook his head at Ryu. “I’ll have a nurse check your bandages,” the doctor said, following the police out.
Roselin stood frozen to the ground. “They won’t take any action, will they?”
“They have to. This is too big to cover up. They can’t ignore it.” Ryu reached for her, but Roselin jerked away.
“He’ll accuse me, and the police are going to believe him and arrest me.” Why would they believe her over Gale? There were no witnesses in the room when Nadia was killed—when it happened.
“They won’t.”
Roselin stomped her feet. “You don’t know that.” Gale’s father wasn’t letting his own son go to prison.
“I will prevent it. Now come back to bed.”
She didn’t move; the guilt anchored her to the floor.
“Rose.” The concern seeped through his demanding voice.
But she didn’t deserve his worry.
A sigh rolled off her lips, and her shoulders slacked. “You need to rest. I’ll ask where the nurse is,” she mumbled while walking away. She couldn’t make herself look at Ryu. Ryu protested and cursed as she closed the door behind her.
Mindlessly, she walked through the hallway, not knowing where to head. Her apartment wasn’t an option even if she wanted to, and while Ryu remained in the hospital, his house was out of the question too. Where was she going to go? She was unable to think… feel. Standing still in the lobby, she felt two eyes pierce into her back. She jerked around, meeting the Driver’s eyes. Her lower lip trembled, and the Driver rushed to her side. “I want to go.” She wanted a long bath, a nice meal… a hug.
The Driver nodded, taking her arm and leading her to the car. A numbness took her over as her mind went blank.