Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
ROWAN
I didn’t know what I was doing. On the ice, yes, but with Hodge in the hotel room? Hell no. I’d turned into Handy McHands. Sitting on the bench, I looked up at the clock. We had ten minutes left in the third period and were up three to two. It was anybody’s game. I threw a peek at Hodge, sitting a few guys down. He’d been on fire tonight. Somehow, he’d managed to pull off two assists already. He clearly hadn’t needed a pep talk from me.
The second-string D-line skated toward us, and I hopped over the board with Hodge and hit the ice, skating toward the net. The Hawk winger had the puck and was making a beeline toward Ace.
“Come on, you hoser. Just try it.” Ace tapped his stick on the ice and spread his skates.
“I got this.” I swiveled and hightailed it to the winger, checking him and snatching the puck. As I looked up, Hodge was right there.
He up-nodded me while skating up the side.
Pulling my stick back, I shot the puck at him.
“Not this time, hoser.” Their center clobbered Hodge, throwing him to his ass and his back. Hodge rolled around and got up on his knees.
“Son of a bitch.” Ace scowled. “Get ’em, Mackenzie.”
The center brought the puck toward the net and the winger came up on his left.
“Oh, hell yeah.” It was a straight shot through both of them. I hauled ass, my stick flinging in front of me, and I nailed one with my shoulder, then the next with a hip. We all went down, helmets and gloves flying. I was going to get a penalty for this but fuck it.
The ref blew a whistle.
“Jesus, Mackenzie.” Hodge skated to me and held out his gloved hand. “Are you okay?”
Grabbing his hand, I hopped onto my skates. “I’m awesome. How about you?” Adrenaline coursed through my veins and had my nerves firing on all cylinders. Throwing my arms around him, I gave him a bear hug. I loved this sport, and playing with him was just so…fantastic.
“Okay, boys, this isn’t your hotel room.” Ace erupted in a laugh.
My jaw dropped. Had Hodge said something to him about this afternoon? I released Hodge and stared at Ace while Hodge did the same.
“What the hell did you say?” Biting his mouthpiece as it hung from his lips, Hodge glanced at me and focused on Ace.
“What? It was a joke, man. A joke.” He hooked a brow. “Wait, did you?—”
“Let’s go, Mackenzie. Two minutes for roughing.” The ref skated to me and looked me in the eyes. “You hear me?”
“I heard you.” With a scoff, I picked up my stick and glove and headed to the sin bin. It was all worth it. But did Ace know something, or was he spouting nonsense?
After winning the game and eating a post-game meal, we headed back to our hotel on the bus and ambled into the lobby. All my earlier bravado was gone, and I was beat.
“You guys want to sneak a beer?” Ace stood with us at the elevator door and pressed the call button. “The way Hodge here played tonight, he’s sure to get an invitation to meet the Blackhawks coaches, and we should have a little celly.”
Now, that might be fun. I leaned toward Ace. “How are you going to pull that off?” I’d been known to bend the rules before, and one beer wouldn’t hurt our game tomorrow.
Myles tsked. “Ace, stop it. You know it’s not a good idea.” He twisted his lips and looked around us and then focused on Tyler. “Sorry, but I don’t want to get suspended from the team.”
“Yeah, fine.” Ace huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I guess everyone should get a good night’s sleep.”
“We should.” As the elevator dinged and opened, Tyler glanced at me. “How’s the shoulder and hip? You hit those dudes hard tonight.” He stepped into the elevator after Ace and Myles.
“It’s okay. Could maybe use a little rubbing out.” With my heart jolting, I scrunched my face. Fuck me, that was stupid.
“Rubbing out? You guys going to rub one out tonight?” Ace barked out a laugh and pressed the button for the third floor.
Myles giggled with his hand over his mouth.
“Ace,” Tyler hissed and tossed him a glare.
“Aw, come on. That was funny.” Ace ticked his brows at me. “And he had that one coming.”
“Yeah, I did.” With a slow nod, I smiled at Ace. He was a good guy and the best-damned goalie in the NCAA. I bumped my elbow on his. “So, you got any prospects yet this year?”
His eyes widened. “Yeah, uh, I’ve got a few things in the works.” He glanced between Myles and Tyler.
I eyed him. Okay, so he didn’t want to talk. Probably didn’t want to jinx it. Hockey players were so damned superstitious.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open .
I stepped out first, with the rest of the guys following, and tugged my key out of the breast pocket of my suit coat. My pulse took off like a Formula One race car. I breathed to steady myself. It was time to be alone, overnight, with Tyler. I swung the door open and stepped inside, shrugging off my jacket. I hadn’t worn a tie because fuck that. We were in college. As I twisted, my gaze caught on Tyler, face white and eyes wide. “You okay?”
“Uh, yeah, fine.” Crouching at the foot of his bed, he rummaged through his bag and pulled out his pajama bottoms. As he stood, he held up the clothing. “I, uh, need to take a piss, so I’ll just change in the bathroom.”
“Yeah, sure.” I watched him go. Was he feeling weird about changing in front of me? After all the fucking showers we’d taken around each other, he didn’t want to change right here? Well, we were alone in a hotel room…and something was definitely going on between us. I quickly undressed, shimmied my pajamas up my legs, and hung up my suit. As I closed the closet door, Tyler stepped out of the bathroom.
“Oh hey.” He brushed by my back, his bare shoulder touching mine. “That’s a nasty bruise you’ve got on your shoulder.” He rubbed his forehead and looked around the room like he was lost.
“You should see the one on my hip.” I strolled toward him and pulled my bottoms and briefs down over my hipbone, exposing an apple-sized purple bruise. Was I doing this on purpose? Maybe. I wanted to know if my intuition was right.
His gaze dipped to my exposed skin and his breath caught. “Yeah, that’s, um…that’s, um…” He wet his lips and his eyes grew dark. “You should ice that. I’ve got an instant ice pack in my bag.” Stumbling to his bag, he fumbled through it. “Shit, I know I threw a couple in here.” He tossed underwear and socks onto the bed.
“Tyler, I’ve got some.” I stepped behind him, his back warming my chest, and grabbed his forearm. “Stop. I packed some too.” No hockey player left home without instant ice packs. He should know that. “But it’s a sweet gesture, you willing to give up yours for me.”
He turned his shoulders and head, his gaze locking on mine. “G-good, then get it, and let’s get this thing iced.” With a few rapid blinks of his gorgeous brown eyes, he focused on my mouth.
Holy fuck, I could kiss him. Right now. What would he do? But he was acting like a frightened rabbit. And did I really want to go down this path and make my probable bisexuality official? I freed his arm and stepped back, swiping my hand over the back of my puffy hair. “I’ll get it.” I fished an ice pack out of my bag, squeezed it, and held it to my exposed hip. How was I supposed to make it stay there?
“Here.” He pushed against my side. “Let’s get you on the bed, and I’ll use pillows to hold it on.”
I climbed onto the bed on my back, the band of my sweats dangerously close to the base of my cock, a tuft of hair spilling over the top. With a smirk, I said, “Sorry, didn’t manscape for the trip.”
His gaze cut to my groin, and with a twitch of his brows, his teeth bit into his lower lip. “Don’t you normally?” Grabbing a free pillow, he scoffed a laugh and pressed the pillow to my side, holding the ice pack to my hip while rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”
I peered at him. He’d been noticing my junk in the locker room? There was no other way to know my manscaping habits. As he fussed with the pillow on my hip, I grabbed his wrist. He was so fucking close again. His mouth was right there.
His gaze flashed to mine and his lips parted, quick breaths escaping him. “What, uh, what are you doing?”
Should we talk about what happened this afternoon? “Tyler, if I made you uncomfortable with me this afternoon, I’m sorry.” My heart pattered against my ribcage. I’d done it. The elephant was out and stomping around our room. Would he want to talk about it ?
His face tensed. “No, what you did was nice. Calming. You helped me in a difficult time.” He worried his lower lip, glanced toward his bed, and then focused on the pillow at my hip. “I can’t get this thing to stay right.”
“It doesn’t matter.” As my skin heated, I yanked him down, crashing his mouth against mine, and grabbed the back of his head. His soft lips yielded to mine and the whole world melted around me. Slanting my mouth, I sucked on his lower lip and snuck my tongue behind his teeth, seeking the slick friction inside him.
His mouth melded with mine and a low moan rumbled out of him, his tongue gliding across my own. As he cupped my cheek, his kisses grew harder, needier, tongue exploring inside me. With a snap of his head, he jerked away and straightened. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” He held the back of his hand to his swollen lips and hung his head. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“It wasn’t you.” My gaze snagged on the boner in his pajamas, threatening to break out of the waistband at his navel. I made him hard. I made him hard? With one kiss? Taking a thick swallow, I crept my gaze to my own cock, standing at attention and aching underneath the thin cloth of my pajamas. No porn needed, just a kiss from him, and I was ready and willing to go and do something…gay. I had to talk to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”
He stared at me, his brows wrinkling. “But I’m the gay one here, and I, uh, I’ve been fighting an attraction to you.” He slumped his shoulders. “Fuck, what a day.”
“Come here.” Grabbing his wrist, I pulled him toward my bed. I had to tell him the truth. I couldn’t let him blame himself.
He resisted. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making you sit next to me on my bed, so I can keep this fucking ice pack on.” I huffed an exhale. “I won’t touch you, I swear.” But I sure as hell wanted to. “We need to talk.”
“We can talk with me sitting on my own bed.” He pulled away .
“Tyler, please.” Tightening my hold and tensing my brows, I watched him, an ache rearing up in my chest. “I…don’t want you that far away.” Holy fuck, where had that come from?
He gaped and stared at me. “Okay.” After scratching the back of his neck, he climbed over my legs and fell next to me on the bed. “What’s going on?” With his legs stretched out, he crossed his arms over his bare chest.
I dared my gaze to roam over his muscled body, so close yet so far away. “I’ve been finding some things out about myself since, well, since meeting you.” I clenched my jaw as my heart stuttered. Was that the right way to put it? I’d never been in this situation before.
Nodding and rubbing his chin, he said, “So you’re bi-curious and want to experiment with me?” He arched a brow, his lips pressing together.
Bi-curious? What did that mean? Why hadn’t Teddy mentioned it? I winced. “All I know is, I seem to be attracted to you too, and I, uh, I got off watching a guy bust a nut.” I cringed and scrubbed my face. Jesus Christ, Rowan. Way to sound like a creepy bastard .
“You what?” With an open-mouthed chuckle, Tyler’s gaze slid to mine.
“Forget I said that. It was my friend Teddy’s idea.” I sighed and tipped my head back on my pillow. I was getting nowhere fast.
“You told your friend Teddy about me?” He shifted sideways, facing me, propping his elbow on the headboard and his head in his hand. “Why?”
I did a double-take of him, my gaze landing on his pouting mouth, still red from our kisses. I’d kiss him again if given the chance. It’d been like nothing I’d ever experienced. My lips tingled, and I touched them with my finger pads.
He cleared his throat, fixating on my mouth. In a husky voice, he said, “Tell me why.” He covered his groin with his hand.
“I was confused and needed some guidance.” I took him in, the waves of his bangs falling to his cheekbones around his stunning eyes. At least I had his full attention now and he wasn’t all closed off. “I think I might be bisexual.”
“Okay, so you’re serious.” He scraped his teeth over his bottom lip, looking me up and down. “I should tell you something.”
“What’s that?” I straightened on the bed. Now we were getting somewhere.
“I was with a guy in high school who was confused.” He rocked once. “It didn’t end well for me.” His gaze flashed to mine and he winced. “I’m not sure I want a repeat.”
Staring at him, I opened my mouth and shut it. Was I being rejected here? After that mind-blowing kiss? Shit, it only made me want him more. “So if I’m not confused, then we could…” Could what? Date? Be boyfriends? My gut tightened in a knot. Was I ready for that? I clenched my jaw.
He lifted his chin. “You’re confused, and I’m already feeling things I shouldn’t. This needs to stop right here.” He shifted to face the foot of the bed and crossed his arms again. “I’m sorry, Rowan, but we should keep things in the friend zone.”
An ache prickled through my heart. What if he was my chance to find out about myself? What if he was the person I’d been missing in my life? Had I ruined everything? Dipping my head, I ran my fingers over the duvet. “Yeah, okay.” Bottom line, it wasn’t fair to him if I wasn’t sure.
“Okay.” He climbed off my bed and crept onto his own. “We should get some sleep.” He threw his covers down, slipped between his sheets, and looked at me. “Do you need any more help with the ice pack?”
“No, I’m good.” Except I wasn’t. This hurt. We’d started something, and now I didn’t know how to feel. Fuck the bruise. I picked up the ice pack, dropped it to the floor, and righted my pajama bottoms. How I was going to sleep tonight, I hadn’t a clue. I was going to think about this all night. I glanced his way.
He rolled over, his back to me. “Goodnight, Rowan. ”
“Goodnight.” I turned off the light on the wall between us and lay on my side, my gaze landing on the ambient light glowing off his hair and the way his breathing lifted and lowered the covers. This sucked.
I rolled to my back and a heavy weight pressed over my hips and chest.
“Rowan,” Tyler whispered. Soft lips pushed against my own and friction rubbed against my aching cock.
“Tyler,” I mumbled. Had he changed his mind? Good…I wanted him so fucking bad.
He wrapped his forearms around my head, placing heated kisses over my lips.
Slanting my mouth, I flicked my tongue at his, tasting him fully, my dick hard and throbbing as pleasure shivered over me.
A moan worked free from his throat, and he writhed over me.
Music blared in my ears.
“Fuck.” I fluttered my eyes open to sunlight streaming through the center of the blackout blinds. “What the hell is that noise?” And what had I been dreaming about? If only it had been true.
“Sorry.” Tyler threw his arm out to the nightstand between us, tapped his phone, and sat up in bed. “Shit, it’s time to meet the team for breakfast already.” He slumped and groaned, his hair sticking out at odd angles.
I rubbed my eyes and attempted to focus on the room. I’d barely slept at all. I’d need a nice long nap today, if it was possible with all the shit my brain was processing.
“I’ll shower first, okay?” He flung his covers off and strode into the bathroom.
“O…kay.” Didn’t even wait for a response. Was this how it was going to be? I combed my fingers through my hair, attempting to tame it. I’d really fucked up last night.
After showering, I met with everyone in a large conference room converted into a breakfast buffet spread out on a long table at the wall. I scanned the room and found Tyler sitting at a large round table with Ace on one side and Myles on the other. The coaches were all huddled at their own table, probably strategizing.
Would he have said anything to them about my fuckup? Pressing my lips together, I strode to the buffet, grabbed a plate, and filled it with eggs, whole grain waffles with syrup, and fruit. Do I dare sit with them?
As I turned, Ace waved to me. “Over here, Mackenzie.” He patted the open spot next to him.
With an up-nod, I made my way to him and dropped in. “How’s everyone this fine morning?” Might as well pretend like nothing was wrong.
“Great, slept like a baby after talking to Zoma last night.” Ace, all smiles, poured coffee into a cup from a carafe on the table. “Here, have some coffee.” He slid it toward me.
“Thanks.” I poured creamer and sugar into my cup and stirred. I had yet to look at Tyler. Had he even noticed? “Zoma, is that the figure skater you met when you and Tyler did the volunteer work with the kids up at the Ice Den?”
“It is. We’re working things out.” Ace threw a look at Tyler and focused on me.
Tyler must have said something. I breathed in deeply. It was going to be a long day. “I’m glad for you, Ace.” I cut into a waffle and stuffed a bite into my mouth.
After sipping his orange juice, Tyler pushed a glass and a pitcher of OJ toward me. “You want some?”
“Of course.” I gave him my best fake smile. What was this, a peace offering? My gaze caught on Myles, biting the end off a sausage. “How did you sleep last night, Cummings?”
“Good. I’m still going to nap today though.” He flashed a cheeky grin at me and glanced toward the coaching table. “How long do you think our team meeting will be today?”
“Too long.” I popped a piece of melon into my mouth. In fact, the whole day was going to seem too long. “It’ll be interesting to see what the coaches come up with for tonight, seeing as how we won last night.”
“Yeah, we can’t run the same plays two nights in a row. They’ll be on to us.” Ace sipped his coffee.
“Suppose so.” I didn’t like this. It was like a wall had been built between Tyler and me. Maybe Teddy would have some sage advice. I’d have to give him a call later.
After watching some game footage with the team and going through tonight’s strategy with the coaching team, we all ambled out of the conference room. Tyler had barely talked to me and, again, didn’t even sit by me. This whole scenario really sucked. I had some time to kill and fuck if I wanted to go back to the room with Tyler.
I fished my phone out of the pocket of my sweatpants and called Teddy. It was Saturday, so he should be able to talk. I strolled down the first-floor hallway of the hotel with closed doors on either side of me.
The phone rang a few times and clicked. “Hey, Rowan. What happened with Tyler?”
“How’d you know I was calling about him?” As I came to the end of the hallway, I turned and walked the other way.
“Because why else would I be hearing from you so soon?” He chuckled.
“You got me.” I released a soft, stuttered laugh. Might as well cut to the chase. “So, I kissed him last night.”
“And did you like it as the song goes?”
“I did.” An ache wound through my gut and into my chest. “ And he rejected me.” And now he was acting like nothing had happened.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Rowan. Did he say why?” he asked.
“He said something about being with a guy in high school who was figuring his shit out and it ended badly for him.” I hadn’t really thought through that part of it. Had he been dumped with a broken heart? Why hadn’t I asked more about it? As I strolled along, I scratched my chin. Because I’d been too devastated.
“Oh…” Teddy clicked his tongue. “He’s been burned and thinks you’d do the same.” He inhaled quickly. “The question is, would you? How did the gay porn session go?”
As my cheeks heated, I stopped walking. “Good. Too good. Think I might prefer it from now on.” Except, would I keep thinking about Tyler in a sexual way then?
“So, do you think you’re bisexual?”
“I…” Taking a deep breath, I tipped my head back and straightened. “I was getting used to the idea until Tyler rejected me.” I guessed I could go back to hooking up with girls.
“Are there any other guys you think you might be attracted to?” he asked.
“Not in my direct vicinity.” I thought for a minute. What if I went to the gay bar again with a more open mind? “I could scope out the gay bar again.”
“That you could. How do you think Tyler would feel if you did that?”
“Don’t know.” I twisted my lips. Could I make him jealous? He’d said he was catching feelings for me. “Do people go to those places alone? Because I don’t think I could get the other queer guys on the team to go with me now. I think it would look weird.”
“What if you talked with them about Tyler?”
My brows lowered. I could probably talk to Myles. He was closest to Tyler. “Yeah, I could try that.” Maybe there was hope yet.