Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LUKE
“ H eard you're starting up your own little enterprise.” I hear Koben’s voice and stop hammering to look down over the roof.
“Whatcha doin’ here?” I ask, before climbing down the ladder.
“Just checkin’ in; seein’ if you need any help.” He looks at the new corral and nods as if he’s impressed.
“Brock tells me he’s sending you some Colts to work on.” He rests his hand on it to test its sturdiness.
“Yep. I’m gonna have my work cut out.” I head for the faucet and take off my shirt, drenching it with water before wringing it out and putting it back on. It’s hot up on that roof, and I’m sweating like a sinner in church.
“I think it’s a good idea, not the vision Matty had, but it’ll see you through the winter.”
“I’m glad someone agrees.” I can’t stop thinking about the way Mom reacted; I really thought she, of all people, woulda been proud of me.
“Erin not thinking it’s a good idea?” Kobin narrows his eyes suspiciously.
“No, Erin’s on board with it. It’s Mom, she wants me to focus more on the herd cause it’s what Matty wanted.” I roll my eyes because I’m sick of pretending that that piece of shit deserves anyone's respect.
“She’s hurting. I’m sure when she’s had time to think things over, she’ll see whatcha doin’ here.
” He gazes around the yard, and I can tell by the look on his face that he’s missing his best friend.
There was a time when Koben and Matty were inseparable, and it makes me wonder if he knew what my brother was capable of.
“Look, I heard from Brock what you had planned, and I came to offer you some help. I know I came on a little strong before, and I’m sorry.
I was just trying to do right by my friend.
That’s why I’m here now. I know a thing or two about breaking in a horse.
I wanted you to know that if you need me, I’m here for ya.
” His eyes keep wandering back to the house.
“How’s Erin coping?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“She’s doing good, taking each day as it comes.
She spoke earlier about applying for that job at the library.
” I give him the best version of the truth I can.
I can hardly tell him that Erin is thriving; she gets more color back in her face every day, and that I’ve never seen her so happy.
I can hardly tell him that I’m a little bit responsible for that either.
But I wish I could. I can’t wait for the day that I can tell the whole world that that girl’s mine.
“A job? Don’t you think that's a little fast?” He readjusts his hat and frowns at me.
“Matty's been gone almost two months,” I remind him. “And I’m not Erin’s keeper; she can do whatever she wants to do. Maybe she’s looking to move on. Besides, I thought a job would be a distraction.” I nod at Jake as he passes with a wheelbarrow full of horse shit.
“Distraction, huh?” I can see the cogs in Koben’s head turning. “You know, I think you're right.” He slaps me on the shoulder and starts making his way back toward his truck, and I watch him pull out the yard before climbing the ladder and getting back to fixing the roof.
Mom’s still here when I head inside to grab some lunch, and walking in to the sound of her laughing throws me off guard.
“Someone sounds like they’re having fun.” I smile at them both as I head to the refrigerator. Wondering what changed the mood she was in when I left.
“Oh, let me make you something, dear.” Mom jumps up, easing Erin back onto the couch when she moves to get up.
“Mom, I can make my own lunch. Get back to what you were doing.” I open the cupboard to grab some bread, and she shoves me out the way.
“It’s no trouble. It’s nice to be able to take care of you.
I miss having you home.” She pats my cheek affectionately, and I look to Erin, wondering what she did to put her in such good spirits.
Mom finishes making me that sandwich and picks up her purse.
“I should get back to Bryce; he’ll wonder where I’ve been.
” She kisses me, then makes her way over to Erin.
“Thanks for this morning. I really needed that.” She’s still smiling as she leaves, and when the door closes behind her, Erin slumps down on the chair beside me, looking exhausted.
“Are you okay?” I ask, offering her half of my sandwich. She shakes her head to decline and picks out a muffin from the basket instead.
“She just needed to talk about Matthew. Share some stories from when he was younger,” she explains.
“I’m sorry.” I find it hard enough hearing people talk about him; I can’t imagine how it must be for her.
“Don’t be, it was my idea.” She laughs to herself.
“Your idea?” I stare at her in confusion.
“She was clearly upset. Your dad's walking around like some kinda zombie, and you're busy trying to keep this place running. She just needed a few hours to talk about the little boy she lost.” Erin’s acting like it’s no big deal, but I can see that the last few hours haven’t been easy on her.
“It must have been tough hearing her talk him up.” I reach out and massage the dip between her neck and shoulder, it always relaxes her and has her making that sweet little humming noise I love.
“She’s just a proud mom, and she deserves to be. She’s put a lot of effort into raising you boys.”
“Not that it got her nowhere.” I drop my sandwich back on my plate when the thoughts in my head make it taste sour.
“What are you talking about?” Erin shakes her head.
“Come on, Matthew grew up to be an abuser, and me… I ain’t exactly someone she can be proud of.” Erin’s right, Mom has always done her best. She gave us the best childhood we could have asked for, so where did it all go wrong?
“Are you kidding me? Luke, you're working your ass off to make this place pay. You're the first out on the yard in the morning and the last one in at night. I don’t know what went wrong with Matthew, but your mom and dad got something right with you.”
“Mom did. Dad was never around much, always out working on the ranch. Only memories I got of him when I was younger are him telling me I was lazy or useless.” I pick at a splinter that's irritating my palm.
“That's not nice.”
“It was true, though, Matthew always had drive and determination. He wanted to be with Dad all the time, helping and learning. I’d do whatever I could to get outta the chores.”
“Well, you're not shying away from those chores now,” she reminds me, “and your mom can see that. She’s proud of you.”
“Just not as proud as she was of Matthew.” I smile at the irony.
The selfish part of me wants to tell my parents what an evil bastard he was, so they realize that he was far from fuckin’ perfect.
But I would never make them suffer like that.
Knowing the truth is a curse; it’s bred a hate inside me that wasn’t there before.
“Your mom’s the kinda mom I’d like to be. Maybe a little less intense.” Erin smirks, and it looks so damn irresistible that I drag her off her chair to sit on my lap.
“D’ya think about that kinda thing often?” I ask her, trying to hold off on kissing her so I can get her answer. “We haven’t spoken much about what our future will look like, and I know it’s still early days, but I already know that my future is here.”
“I do now.” She smiles back at me so brightly it’s hard to believe that she’s been through so much, and when we get interrupted for the second time today and she quickly leaps off my lap, I feel the loss of her and want to tug her back.
“You would not believe how long it took me to get away from Dolores. She was showing me pictures of—” Liza pauses when she notices the basket on the table. “Are those Mary’s muffins?” Her eyes go wide with excitement.
“Blueberry,” Erin tells her, and when she attacks the basket like a hungry bear, I pick up what's left of my sandwich and grab one for myself before she devours them all.
“I gotta get back to work,” I tell the girls, resisting the urge to kiss Erin goodbye on my way out the door. I guess I’ll just have to make up for it later when I’ve got her all to myself.