11. Eleven
ELEVEN
The wind was brutal, but climbing up the hill was even more so. Out here, I could see why we weren’t allowed to leave. It made me wonder why Alden kept choosing to go outside rather than stay in.
“You surviving back there?” he asked as we got to the top.
“For the record,” I gasped out, “I always took the stairs at Reed’s apartment.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s different than climbing a hill.”
“Still. I work out, even if I don’t look like I do.”
He paused. “Does that mean what I think it means?”
“What?”
“That you’re tying physical weight to your health?”
“I mean, I know it doesn’t matter, but so many guys think it does.”
“I’m not most guys.”
“Are you not? ”
“Definitely not. I’ve seen people double my size run up mountains. Every body is different, including yours.”
“Sure, but I’m walking up a hill gasping for breath.”
“Stella, it’s nearly zero degrees and windy. Give yourself some grace.”
“You seem fine.”
“I do this kind of thing every day,” he replied. “Come to my park after this, and you’ll see why I’m not sweating.”
“Yeah, right. I highly doubt you want me to go to your park.”
“I wouldn’t mind you there.” He turned to look at me, eyebrow raised.
Flecks of snow dotted his dark hair. His five-o’clock shadow was more visible now, darkening the lower half of his face. Neither of us said anything, but I could feel impossible heat in his stare. My heart skipped a beat.
“S-so, ready to go down the hill?” An awkward chuckle followed my question.
“You’re really avoiding the park thing.”
“We came out here to sled, not talk about meeting up after this.” I gestured down the hill. “Your turn.”
“You go first.”
“No. You.”
“We could both go at the same time.”
“But then how will I see you fall on your ass?”
He shook his head. “Fine. I’ll go first. But you have to ask nicely.”
I fluttered my eyelashes at him. “Pretty please? ”
I thought he would roll his eyes and get into position. Instead, his breath stuttered and he stared at me with parted lips. A shiver rolled down my spine.
“What? You said to ask nicely.” When he didn’t respond, I swatted at my face. “Do I have snow stuck to me or something?”
“N-no. I just forgot what it was like when you acted nice .”
“Very funny.”
Alden’s eyes finally slid from me, and he put down his sled.
“All right,” he said, blowing out a breath. It was visible in the frigid temperatures. “Here goes nothing.”
He started out strong, his speed steady. But then he suddenly moved the wrong way and flipped over with a loud, “Fuck!”
I covered my mouth to keep a laugh from bubbling out of me.
See, my kryptonite was people falling. It was a terrible habit, but there was something about a wipeout that brought me pure joy. I managed to keep my amusement inside, but only barely.
“Are you okay?” I called out.
“I’m fine. You can laugh now.”
Once I heard that, I lost it.
I hadn’t laughed this hard in years, but Alden was always so put together. He was my big brother’s best friend, always above me somehow.
But the snow reduced him into a pile on the ground .
Slowly, he got up. “You gonna go, or what?”
“Fine,” I called back. “But if I fall, you can’t laugh.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.”
“Life isn’t fair,” I said as I got on the sled.
Because of the ice, I went much faster than I thought I would. I could see what tripped up Alden—a dip in the ground—and I was able to avoid it, though barely.
“I survived!” I yelled as I finally slowed down.
“Lucky you. My hip hates you.”
“Let’s do it again.”
“I might die.”
“I thought you were immortal,” I mocked.
“Not when you’re around.”
“At least you’ll have fun if you meet your end.” I grabbed his arm. “Come on. I’ll race you to the top.”
I took off without waiting for a response.
“Stella!” he groaned. “I’m still recovering.”
“So I’ll have a chance of beating you!” I called back, a laugh escaping me. Moments later, I heard snow crunching and saw him catching up. He beat me to the top, like I knew he would, but I didn’t regret the race.
“Best two of three?” I asked.
“Survive the trip down first,” he said. “Your turn.”
“I just went.”
“I want to see the view from up here this time.”
I rolled my eyes but threw the sled into the snow. I flew down the hill with a smile on my face.
And as I reached the bottom, it hit me that I felt like myself for the first time in years.
“T-that was fun,” I said as I took off my soggy jacket. I shivered from the temperature, but even that couldn’t stop my grin.
“It was.” Alden was at the fire again, making sure it was burning.
“S-shouldn’t you be cold too?”
“I am, but you’re still smaller than me.”
“I’m—” I paused when he stood at his full height.
Okay. Maybe he was.
“You’re not that much taller than me.”
“Whatever makes you feel better.”
The cool hair hit my neck and I shivered again. “I can’t get warm.”
“Sweater off,” Alden said, seriousness in his tone. “Pants too.”
The order would have been sexy if it hadn’t been for the fact that I was freezing. “I’ll go to Amma’s room.”
“It’s ten degrees colder in there.”
My pride shivered too. “Fine. Then turn around.”
He threw me a new set of clothes and did as I asked. I made quick work of changing. I threw on my extra leggings and a T-shirt. I wished I had another sweater, but Nick had packed the bag, and I was pretty sure he simply shoved things in just like he had the night he picked me up.
“I’m done,” I said. “Now throw me into the fire like a log. ”
“Not happening. Nick would kill me.”
I huddled close to the furnace, almost touching it. I heard shuffling, and I turned, only to see Alden shirtless.
“Oh my God,” I said, jerking my eyes away before I could stare, but the memory of tanned skin stuck out in my mind.
It hit me that I hadn’t seen him shirtless, even when we slept together.
“What?” he asked.
My eyes trailed his tanned, toned skin. “Nothing, sorry.”
Even after all of these years, I was still attracted to him. That flash of skin was all it took to make me want him.
I stared at the stove as if it had personally offended me.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
Not emotionally, but physically ... “Yes.”
And then another shiver hit me.
“You’re lying.”
“How about we talk about the real issues, like why you’re shirtless?”
“My clothes got wet.”
“Amma might have some of her ex’s stuff.”
“I’ll look in a few minutes. I’m more worried about if you’re still cold.”
Fuck. He can’t be shirtless and then care about me too. It was too much.
“I’m not. ”
“We could share heat again.”
My mouth went dry. I played it as cool as possible, but our first instance of sharing heat was almost too much to handle. I’d forgotten why I hated him the second more than an inch of his body touched mine.
And this time there would be far more of us touching.
“Just put me into the fire.”
“Like I said, not an option. Just touch me.”
His voice was hard, reminding me that he didn’t like this any more than I did.
This was probably his worst nightmare.
Another shiver racked my body as he sat next to me.
“Just for survival,” he reminded. I gritted my teeth and leaned into him, forcing myself to not fully melt into the heat of his arms.
His skin was warm as it pressed against mine. His hands were only a touch less cold than mine as they wound around my back.
Just for survival. Not fun.
But my body didn’t get the memo. It latched onto every sensation, cementing it into my memory.
His body hair, as dark as the hair on his head, tickled my skin, and I couldn’t deny that I was heating up fast.
My arms snaked around him, pulling him closer. I trained my ears on him, ready to hear him groan in annoyance.
Instead, I heard him swallow.
I liked this. I shouldn’t, yet I did.
Alden pulled me in closer .
This shouldn’t be intimate. This was for a purpose, yet my fast-beating heart wondered if I could take it further. Could I scoot into his lap and sit on his strong thighs? Could I nuzzle into his neck and feel his beard tickle my cheek?
I stayed rooted to the spot as seconds turned into minutes, not daring to ruin it.
He cut the contact first.
“We should be good now,” he said, standing. He threw his shirt over his head.
“Isn’t that still wet?”
“Yeah, but I need to cool off anyway.”
Silence rained down on us, and I wondered if there was a string of words I could use to get him to come back to me again.
But I didn’t think I could take another no from him.
“So what else do we do?” I asked.
He considered it. “Want to do a puzzle?”
I blinked. “What?”
“Puzzles are one of your Christmas traditions. We can keep some of them, right?”
It was a sweet gesture, and while the warmth of him still lingered on my skin, it made my stomach twist. “Yeah, maybe we can.”