14. Fourteen
FOURTEEN
“So you stoke it like this.” I showed Stella how to poke the fire and roar it back to life. It was hours later, and we’d been busy doing other puzzles as the fire died.
She was the one to notice it was going out, and she darted to grab the metal poker before I’d even gotten up. She looked so excited to learn that I knew I wouldn’t say no.
“Okay, so chopping wood, stoking fires. Is there anything else about survival I need to know?”
“Why, are you trying to kick me out into the cold?”
“No.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s just nice to learn new things again. My life had become a slog of one thing after another, and everything was set into place. I’m happy it’s different, even if we’re stuck here for who knows how long. What day is it anyway?”
“It’s Christmas Eve.”
“Really?” Her eyes trailed to the window where everything was still icy. It was dark now, but we could still see it reflect against the dim light of the moon. “Damn. I guess there really isn’t a chance of getting out of here by tomorrow.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
Stella blew out a breath. “It doesn’t even feel like the holiday without the lights. Santa is out right now, and I feel like it’s any other day.”
“There’s no way you still believe in Santa, right?”
She laughed. “Of course I don’t. But sometimes I like to believe in the magic.”
“The Summers always have a magical Christmas, Santa or not. It’s far better than what mine were at home.”
“You never even wanted to be home back then.”
“Why be home when I have you guys? My dad didn’t even let me believe in Santa.”
Her eyes widened. “What? Why?”
“He thought it was all a ploy to get us to buy more for the holiday.”
“To be fair, it is. But it’s still magical sometimes to remember when things were easier.”
“I’m glad you have those memories.”
“I mean, you have them too. In a different way. You were welcome every year. I like to think we also tried to make your Christmases special.”
And they were. Every single one of them. This family had saved me, and I would never be able to pay them back for that .
And it all started when I was assigned to sit next to the happy-go-lucky popular boy in my grade.
“Every day I’m glad I met Nick,” I said softly.
The reminder of Nick hit me hard. I needed to remember what I owed him—what he’d asked me to do. The dull ache I was used to when around the Summers, and especially when near Stella, was a sharp pain now. I’d spent too much time with her.
But I needed to get over it. This was how friendship went. Sometimes it hurt, but I got to keep my connection to the Summers family.
“Alden?” she asked. “Are you okay? You got lost in thought.”
I looked over at her. Her hair fell over her shoulders in waves and the open door of the fire made her face glow. God, she’d only gotten more beautiful over the years, and I knew she would continue to.
One day, she would find the perfect man. One that wasn’t her brother’s best friend.
Yet now, after spending all of this time with her, the thought filled me with a miserable feeling that added to the sharp pain in my chest. I didn’t want her with anyone else. I wanted her with me .
Even if I didn’t deserve it. Even if I would blow up my life to do it.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Sometimes you look at me and go quiet.”
“It’s nothing. ”
“Does it have to do with what happened seven years ago?”
I looked up at her, eyes wide. “We don’t need to talk about it.”
“Friends talk about their problems.”
“I . . . still .”
Her lips pursed and she stoked the fire again. “Do you want an apology?”
I looked at her, incredulous. “For what ?”
“Me coming on to you.”
“No, I don’t need an apology for any of it. If anything, I owe you one. I should have said no.”
She looked at me, eyes narrowed. “So you regret it.”
“No,” I said before I could stop myself.
“Then, why ?—”
“Don’t. Let’s forget this conversation.”
“But—”
“Stella.”
“Alden,” she snapped. “We need to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Is there not? Because just this morning you said I didn’t know what I did to you.”
I sucked in a breath. I’d been sure she was still fast asleep, none the wiser of how much I wanted her.
“That was . . .”
She scoffed. “What? You have nothing to say to my face?”
I had nothing good to say to her face.
But she wasn’t going to let me get away with that .
“Well?”
She was challenging me in the way only she could, spice with a dash of vulnerability.
And I could never lie. Not seven years ago and certainly not now.
“I did say that.”
“So you want me. Physically, that is.”
The flames flickered, and I caught sight of her neck in the light. I had to rip my eyes away before I broke like last time.
“The world doesn’t end if you admit it,” she added.
Mine could, yet no lies could escape me. “You’re right. About me wanting you physically.”
Her eyes went back to the fire. “Then would you want to act on it?”
“What?” I asked. “Act on it as in ...”
“Be physical again. Nothing romantic. I just got out of a bad relationship, and you would never want one with me. So we can be casual.”
Casual. There was nothing casual about my feelings for her. They were all-consuming, infecting every inch of me.
“No,” I said.
Stella’s brow furrowed. “Why not?”
“Because you deserve something more than casual.”
Her mouth opened and then shut. She was quiet for a moment before she said, “Then we can be more than casual.”
“No. That’s even worse. ”
“Let me guess, because I’m me and you’re you.”
“Because you deserve someone else. Someone better. Not me.”
Her brow creased. “Why do you get to decide what I deserve?”
“Because I see you for the perfection that you are. I broke your heart, Stella. Hold me accountable for that.”
“Are you sorry?”
“Of course I am.”
“Will you do it again?”
“I ... I don’t want to ever do that again.”
Which is why I needed to put a stop to this now.
But she was wearing that goddamn teal color again. It was a different sweater, but it was still the perfect color on her. She was ethereal in this light, just like she had been all those years ago.
She moved closer, just by an inch. Her eyes were on my lips and my breath caught at the idea of her kissing me again.
I put my hands on her shoulders before this could go any further.
“Stella, don’t.” It came out like a growl. My will was hanging on by a thread.
Her eyes met mine, a devious smile on her lips. “You keep saying things that don’t match your actions. So I think it’s time that I stop listening.”
Her hands gripped my flannel, bringing me in closer. “Goddammit,” I groaned .
“Do you want me to stop?” she asked, eyes moving to mine.
And when I was faced with the only green I’d seen in days, I was powerless. “Fuck no.”
“I knew it,” she said. Her lips closed over mine, filling me with the vanilla scent that once followed me like a ghost.
But here it was real. She was in front of me, stealing my breath with one simple kiss.
And all the fight left me.
Fuck it. I wanted her.
My body flickered back to life, finally escaping the seven-year slumber. We were only inches apart, but that was too far. My hands went to her waist, dragging her the remaining distance until she was practically in my lap.
Our tongues clashed and I suddenly couldn’t catch my breath.
I could feel her smile into my mouth. Fuck, she already knew she had a hold on me.
Stella’s hands wrapped around my neck and she pulled me on top of her. I braced her with my forearms, lowering my body to where I had the contact I desperately needed.
The pain disappeared, pushed away by her body touching mine. Things felt right for once, like a puzzle piece slotting into place.
I’d needed this. I needed her so impossibly close that I didn’t know where she ended and I began. I needed to feel her breath on my cheek as our lips grazed and hear the sounds she made when my teeth bit her bottom lip.
If I were murdered later for it, then I would die a happy man.
Our kisses grew messy as my hands finally touched every part of her I’d kept myself away from. Her side and her hip, and then her thigh and her ample backside. She was perfect in my arms—just like I’d dreamed of.
Stella broke the kiss, chest heaving. She gulped in a couple of deep breaths before saying, “I’ve waited long enough. Touch me, Alden.”
“Is this what you want?”
“Of course it is. Trust me, you’ll feel it.”
I wanted this. I wanted her , and I couldn’t deny it anymore. My hand gripped her hip, but I slowly moved it down to slip past the waistband of her leggings. When my fingers found her slick folds, I groaned.
“Fuck.”
“I told you,” she said. “Now make me come, Alden Canes. I know you can.”
I moved my hand up and down, caressing her sensitive bud. She gasped and her jaw dropped open. I couldn’t resist a smile. If I did my job right, there would be no more words out of her.
Stella’s body arched into mine, and my lips returned to hers as I stroked her. I didn’t think she could get more wet, yet as her pleasure grew, so did her slickness.
“O-oh, shit ,” she said, pulling her lips away from mine. “I-I’m gonna?— ”
I kept up the pace, torturing her with every centimeter I moved. Her mouth dropped open into a silent scream. I watched every second, content to sear it into my memory just like I had the first time I’d been with her.
Her chest heaved as she came on my hand.
“Want more?” My voice was low and gravelly under the weight of my desire.
“You remembered?”
“Of fucking course I did. Now how do you want to come again?”
“On your cock,” she gasped. I opened my mouth to ask if she was sure, but her hands moved to my shoulders. “I’m taking over.”
She hauled herself on top of me after pulling off my jeans and her leggings. My cock was pressed against her inner thigh, and I saw stars at the mere idea of entering her.
But I caught her by the hips.
“Stella,” I said. “Slow down. We have all the time in the world.”
She blinked. “I don’t want you to change your mind.”
“I won’t.” I hadn’t for seven years.
“But—”
“Stella, you have to trust me. I know it’s hard after?—”
“I do trust you.”
I didn’t deserve it, but I would take it and never break it again.
“Then you have to believe me when I say there’s no rush. Let’s enjoy this.” I leaned up, pressing my palm under her sweater and moving up until I grazed her mid-back. “No bra?”
“A bra is a menace.” She shrugged and my eyes caught on the outline of her breasts. I could see her nipples hardening through her sweater and it reminded me of the task at hand.
I kept going up until my hand had her neck. I pressed a rough kiss to the sensitive skin there, getting rewarded by a broken gasp from her. Then I moved to pull the sweater off of her body.
And God. She was incredible.
“Take your shirt off,” she said. “I didn’t get to see that the last time we did this, and I won’t miss out again.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I did as I was told, and then she lined me up with her core.
“Wait, do we need a condom?”
“I’m on birth control,” she said. “And I’ve been tested two months ago. And I haven’t had ...” She bit her lip. “I’ve been with no one else since those tests.”
“Reed didn’t fuck you?”
“He was usually tired from his workouts.”
“He’s an idiot,” I said. “He could have had you and he was too focused on himself.” The head of my cock caught against her entrance. “I’ve been tested too,” I said. “So let me show you exactly how you should feel.”
“P-please. ”
I never thought we would be here again, not in real life, yet it seemed the impossible had happened.
Slowly, inch by inch, she sank down. I saw stars and tried my best not to surge forward and push all the way in. I’d been waiting for this day for far too long, but I wouldn’t blow it by coming too fast.
Once I was seated all the way in, I could feel every flutter of Stella’s pussy. I bit my tongue, trying not to lose control. Then, I caught sight of the goddess above me.
Stella’s eyes were shut, her head tilted back. I had a perfect view of her breasts, her hips.
Every single inch of her.
“What else do you need?” I asked.
“Touch my clit again and let me ride you.”
I loved the way she told me what to do. I loved the way she knew exactly what she wanted.
And I loved giving her what she wanted.
Stella moved her hips as I moved my thumb on her sensitive bud. She let out a gasp and jerked harder and she clenched on me as she moved.
I bit my lip to prevent myself from coming right then and there. The sight of her incredible body on mine, the way her tits moved as she found the pleasure she needed, the comfortable weight of her on my lap, and her hair falling over her shoulder was almost too much.
She found a rhythm, and I could see her losing herself in the feeling. Her jaw was open, and she moved jerkily. I watched every second of it as she came a second time .
“That was ...” She trailed off. “God, I want to make you feel just as good. Let me get off you?—”
“No,” I nearly growled. “You stay right there.”
“You can’t be comfortable.”
“Oh, I am very comfortable.” It was my turn to move, and I thrust into her, reaching new depths. Her jaw dropped, and I gripped her hips before I picked up speed. She bounced with every movement, her breasts otherworldly in front of me. Her mouth formed an O, and her hand snaked its way down to her clit.
“God,” she gasped the second she touched herself.
“That’s right. Come on my cock a second time.”
I was so close, but I bit the side of my cheeks to hold off.
“Fuck.” Her hips moved in time with mine. Her body jerked again and she clenched around me once more, her walls tight on my desperate cock.
And that’s when I fell apart. My orgasm exploded through me, giving me the hottest burst of pleasure I’d ever experienced in my life.
When I came to my senses, Stella was panting above me.
“Are you human?” she asked.
“I am. Why?”
“Sex shouldn’t feel that good.”
It only did with her. I’d known that for years.
“It can when you find the right person.”
She leaned down, crossing her arms over my chest with a smirk on her face. “So I was right about the whole feelings thing.”
“That is not what you should get from that.”
“Definitely not, but you can’t say I’m wrong when you’re still inside of me.”
I huffed out a laugh and leaned my head back. “Fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut for once.”
She rolled her eyes and pressed one kiss to my lips before slowly getting off of me and heading for the bathroom.
I waited for the familiar anxiety to seep in. I knew I was wrong. I knew I was going to be in so much trouble for this.
But when Stella came back out dressed in nothing, all thoughts vanished in a puff of smoke.
“Thanks to you, I feel like I can sleep for a week.”
I laughed. “I could too.”
She bit her lip. “Want to share heat again? I think I’ll need it.”
“And clothing?”
“Optional.”
She was going to kill me. I knew she was.
“Then the answer is very much yes.”