Chapter 18
ELI
We’re lying in my bed together after a round of intense orgasms. Jerking off alone is nothing compared to doing it with Nathan. He knows exactly what to do to drive me crazy.
And even now, when we’re lying here naked. I’m lying on his arm, and he’s lazily playing with my hair while watching me with a soft gaze that drives me crazier than the orgasm did.
I’m scared of how big these feelings for him are. It’s like all the hate I had turned into the opposite emotion, and I’m not sure what to do about that.
It’s getting late, but neither of us seems interested in sleeping.
“It’s our last night here,” I say, breaking the silence.
“It is. I’m not looking forward to going back.”
I bite my lip. I want to ask him why that is. Is he dreading returning to work, or is he like me and going to miss whatever this is that’s happening between us? I want to ask him what happens to us, but I’m scared.
He thumbs my lip and releases it from my teeth. “You have the most fucking kissable lips I’ve ever seen, do you know that?” he says.
I snort because that’s the first time anyone’s said that to me. But he’s also the first and only person I’ve kissed, so that might have something to do with it, too.
“So I guess you’re going to be pretty busy at work once we’re back in the city,” I say. I’m trying to probe him, but for what, I’m not sure. Maybe for him to tell me he’s going to miss spending time together like this? That he’s going to miss me.
He doesn’t say any of that.
“I am. I made the mistake of checking my work email yesterday,” he says with a chuckle. “I don’t think they stop working even for the holidays.”
I pout because he’s not giving me the answer I want, and I’m too proud to ask him directly. The only thing my pride allows me to do is roll over, but then I feel stupid for throwing a tantrum.
A second later, strong arms wrap around my waist. Nathan scoots closer until he’s my big spoon. He cradles me in his arms and murmurs, “You can come visit me. My apartment isn’t too far from your university.”
I don’t reply, but my heart is pounding again. There’s no mistaking the happiness that washes over me at the idea of just being able to be with him again once we return to our lives. And that’s what has me falling into a restful sleep.
Nathan’s alarm goes off early the next morning. Neither of us got much sleep, but he needs to sneak out of my room before the others wake up.
I know he’s returning to the city before the rest of us, and I’m worried about how tired he looks. And I can’t go with him to make sure he stays awake during the drive, since that’ll definitely be super suspicious.
“Can you text me when you get home?” I ask him as I watch him get dressed. It’s a shame to see all that delicious skin covered with clothes, but I know he can’t very well walk out of here naked.
He tugs his shirt over his head, then pulls me out of bed. It doesn’t take him much effort to lift me until my legs are wrapped around his waist. My head is still spinning from his sudden actions, and I don’t have time to react before he’s kissing me hard.
It’s one of those kisses you see in movies when the couple knows they’re going to be separated for a while. The kiss leaves me breathless and weak under his touch.
I’m panting and hard by the time he finally allows me a moment to suck in sweet air. My cock is probably leaving a trail of sticky pleasure on his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“I’m gonna miss this,” he murmurs. He places me flat on the bed, his body still flush against mine as he follows after me.
“We have plenty of time,” he says.
I don’t get a chance to ask what he means before he’s kissing down my body and sucking my cock like a fucking pro. It’s my second blowjob, and I must have forgotten how good they feel. His hot mouth around me catches me by surprise, and I’m coming down his throat embarrassingly quickly.
Nathan’s smirking when he pulls off. He licks his lips, and I’m turning red at seeing him swallow my cum. I never knew how hot that was.
“Told you we had time,” he says with a huge grin, and I just know he’s referring to how quickly I came.
Now I’m red with shame. I grab his—my—pillow and whack him with it. He’s laughing as he uses his arm to block it. He eventually tackles me onto the bed.
His erection presses into my stomach as he looks at me with amused eyes.
“I can, um, blow you too?”
My offer only makes him laugh again, and if he weren’t ridiculously stronger and bigger than me, I would have kicked him off the bed.
He kisses me softly when he finally stops laughing.
“Next time,” he murmurs and sweeps my messy curls out of my face.
“When you go down on me for the first time, I want to savor it.” He cups my chin and presses his thumb past my lips.
His eyes are burning as he stares at them.
“I want to mess up that pretty pout of yours until your lips are swollen from my cock.”
My body is burning at his words, and my mouth is hanging open. Nathan is, of course, laughing again. He ruffles my hair, stands, and presses a soft kiss to my bird’s nest of curls.
“I’ll text you,” he says, then he turns around and is out the door.
I flop back on my bed, hugging my light blue pillow to my face. My dick’s throbbing again from Nathan’s words alone. I was right on the dot about him being a terrible snake, because how is he going to just drop a bomb like that and then leave me?
I’m absent-minded for the rest of the morning. Nathan left before breakfast, so I’m mostly poking at my food, missing him. I’m dazed through the final clean-up of the cabin before we leave. We already tore down all the decorations last night, so it’s basically empty the trash cans.
Mom and Gerald are dropping Zoe off straight at the airport, so I’m riding back home with Ava. We give Zoe the biggest hugs when we say our goodbyes, but the parting isn’t as bad this time, since she plans on moving back home when her lease ends in March.
“All right, kid. Time to go,” Ava says, heading to her car.
“Not a kid,” I mutter and follow her. A kid wouldn’t have their thoughts consumed by sucking cock.
Ava arches an eyebrow at me and disappears into the driver’s seat. She has the engine running by the time I’m in the passenger seat and is driving off before I can even get my seat belt on. Ava is never one to waste time, that’s for sure.
I hug my pillow and look out the window for the first hour of the drive. Nathan consumes my thoughts. I didn’t know I could miss a person this much. I never thought I’d ever miss Nathan, of all people, but I guess that’s the reason they say to ‘expect the unexpected’.
“You’re awfully quiet today,” Ava suddenly says. She turns the music down, meaning she’s getting ready for an actual conversation.
“Just tired,” I tell her, and turn the music back up. I know she’s going to ask questions I don’t want to answer.
She wrinkles her nose and turns the music down again. I sigh and accept my fate. Everyone says I’m stubborn, but I’m nothing compared to my oldest sister. Ava invented the word and taught me how to be just as stubborn as her.
“Are you still worried about what you’re going to do after you graduate? Is that what’s got you so quiet? You know I can get you an internship at my company. They have a rotation program that’ll let you gain experience in different departments.”
I wasn’t thinking or stressing about my upcoming graduation until Ava brought it up. I’ve been so caught up with sneaking around with Nathan, when I really should be figuring out what I’ll be doing come spring.
I know Ava’s doing what she’s always done by offering me an internship at her office. She’s looking out for me, but I hate the idea of getting my foot in the door due to nepotism. And I don’t even know if I want to work in her field, or in the corporate world at all, if I’m being honest.
I see the long hours Ava puts in for her job, and sure, that could be because she’s the executive assistant to the big boss, but Nathan’s pretty low on the corporate ladder, and his hours don’t seem any lighter.
If I were being really honest, despite being a business major, the thought of being a paper pusher kinda fills me with dread. I’m not sure if that’s the life I want for myself. I only chose this major because I didn’t know what else I wanted to do.
“Are you listening, Eli?” Ava asks when I don’t answer her.
I sigh and turn to her. “I don’t think I want to work in the corporate world,” I tell her honestly.
Her nose wrinkles even more. “What else can you do?”
I know her words aren’t meant to put me down, and even though she’s right, they still sting a bit. I’m not artistic, like Zoe is, but I also don’t have the drive Ava does to survive in the corporate world.
The problem is, I don’t have anything I really want to do or something I’m particularly passionate about, either.
“I don’t know,” I tell her, voice quiet. I hug my pillow for comfort and go back to staring out the window.
Ava must sense something in my mood, because she doesn’t probe me anymore and lets the rest of the drive continue with only the sound of holiday music playing in the background.
The vibe doesn’t feel as cheerful as it did on the drive to the cabin, because now I’m faced with the fact that the holidays are over and we’re returning to reality.
And returning to reality means I need to face my problems too.
Like deciding my plans after graduation…and figuring out what the hell Nathan and I are doing.