11. Samantha
11
SAMANTHA
S unday morning, Sam sat beside Wolf in his rented SUV on the way to Cassidy Farm.
As far as she knew, he wasn’t looking for any kind of replacement car at the moment. She wondered if that meant he wasn’t planning on sticking around long enough to need one, or if maybe he had just been too busy. Either way, it wasn’t really her place to ask. She snuck a glance at the backseat, where Amelia was smiling at Ezra and whispering to him.
Sam was frankly amazed that the little girl wasn’t half-asleep in the car already. Yesterday at the Trinity Community Market had been packed with excitement and fun things to do, and Sam thought that they would both be thinking about it for a long time to come.
Especially since a very unexpected event had occurred between the two most unlikely people. Sam was only just starting to feel like part of the tight little community, but she already knew the gossip from yesterday was going to be spreading like wildfire.
She tried to hide her smile as she watched the fields and forest blur past out the window.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Wolf said, his raspy voice breaking the silence.
“I was just thinking that it’s funny how quickly things change,” she said, not wanting to spread any gossip herself. “We were in Trinity Falls village just a few minutes ago,” she said. “Now we might as well be in Amish country.”
“We’re not far from Amish country at all, actually,” he told her.
“Really?” she asked, amazed.
“Really,” he said, the corner of his mouth tugging up slightly. “My aunt and uncle bring in Amish carpenters to help out on the farm from time to time.”
“Amazing,” she murmured, turning back to the rust-colored fields outside in an attempt not to stare at him. He was just so handsome, especially with the ghost of a smile teasing at his lips. But that was just foolishness on her part.
Even though the car was toasty warm, it still looked so cold out the window. Patches of snow dotted the little valleys that were protected from the sun. And the gray sky seemed to promise more snowfall at any moment.
“Is that the kindly witch’s house?” Amelia asked from the backseat as they passed a blue-gray colonial with a red barn.
“Nope, not yet,” Wolf told her. “Justin told you about that, huh?”
“Kindly witch?” Sam asked.
“On Halloween, there are harvest activities at the farm,” he explained. “We do apple bobbing, pumpkin painting and carving, and there are hayrides for kids to go see the kindly witch at her cottage and eat ginger cookies while she tells them stories.”
“Justin said the stories all have a lesson ,” Amelia said suspiciously, as if having lessons might make them less interesting. “But they’re funny, and the cookies are really good.”
“It was the same way when I was a little boy,” Wolf said, glancing in the rearview mirror to smile at Amelia. “The stories are definitely funny, and the cookies are amazing. Those lessons never hurt anyone either.”
Sam smiled at the sight of the big man being so sweet with her little sister. No wonder Amelia opened up around him in a way she usually didn’t for new people.
That’s why you need to stop noticing how handsome he is, she warned herself sternly. He’s just nice to people. That’s all. When he smiles at you, he’s just being nice, no matter how it makes your insides feel.
Sam normally wasn’t one to worry about men, and she definitely didn’t have the time to even think about dating now that she was responsible for Amelia. She wasn’t sure what it was that made her keep noticing Wolf in that way.
It’s those eyes, she thought to herself. And the sight of him holding the baby and being so sweet with Amelia…
“Is that her house?” Amelia asked, miraculously interrupting Sam’s unhelpful train of thought.
“Nope,” Wolf said. “But we’re almost there. I’ll tell you when.”
They drove on in companionable silence for a few more minutes, then Wolf slowed the car.
“There’s the kindly witch’s house,” he said, pointing to a sweet stone cottage set back from the road, with tall trees bordering the pretty front yard.
“Wow,” Amelia said excitedly.
“And see the fields here?” Wolf asked her. “See the metal stakes?”
“Yes,” Amelia said.
“They hang that with netting every summer to protect the blueberries from birds,” he told her. “You can pick your own blueberries at the farm, not just apples and peaches.”
“I want to pick blueberries,” Amelia said right away.
“We’ll have to come back in the summertime,” Wolf said, then winced.
Sam figured he was thinking he might not be here in the summertime.
I have to find something for him to do, she told herself. Then he’ll have a reason to stay.
She had already reached out to a couple of the best counselors she had worked with in the city, to see if they had any ideas for a pilot coming home to a rural village. She was hoping that one of them would come up with something she could work with.
She looked out the window at what had to be the apple orchard. The twisting branches of the little trees made them look like they were frozen in a permanent windstorm.
Wolf put on his signal, and she wondered what they would find here today. Amelia had gone on and on about this place, but so far it didn’t look much different from the fields and farms they had passed on the way here.
No sooner had the thought occurred than they came to the crest and a view of Cassidy Farm spread itself out below.
A sycamore-lined driveway led into a huge gravel parking area that stretched back up the hillside. On the far side was what looked like a huge Christmas tree lot, surrounded by strings of lights, with families winding among the cut trees chatting and laughing.
To the left, a big octagonal barn seemed to have been converted into some kind of shop. Huge wooden bins outside were filled with bright colored apples and boughs of pine and holly. A shelf of brilliant red poinsettias stood beside a gleaming row of shopping carts.
She could just see a paddock up the hill on the left, followed by pens and trees as far as the eye could see.
Despite the cold, people were everywhere, bundled up and smiling, chasing after kids, pushing wheelchairs and strollers, holding up decorations for each other, and carrying canvas bags and gallon jugs of cider back to their cars.
The sight brought an unexpected wave of emotion to Sam’s chest. Seeing all those children and families was exactly what she had pictured when she imagined living out in the country with her sister.
“Wow,” Amelia yelled.
Ezra squeaked something too. Sam turned to see him in his car seat, flapping his little arms as best he could inside his fleece parka.
“Almost there, guys,” Wolf said, chuckling as he pulled into an open spot.
They all piled out into the cold, bright morning, and Amelia slipped over to Sam as Wolf was setting up Ezra’s stroller.
“Can we get a tree?” Amelia asked quietly. “Please?”
“We don’t really have a way to get it home,” Sam told her. “And even if we did, we can’t get it up the stairs to the apartment. We’ll have to use our plastic one again. I’m sorry.”
She didn’t add the fact that fresh trees weren’t exactly cheap.
“It’s so small,” Amelia said sadly.
“One day, we’ll have a place where we can get a nice big tree,” Sam predicted.
Amelia nodded, and Sam felt a familiar pang of guilt. She was doing her best, but sometimes it felt like the two of them were really just surviving—not thriving.
I’m sorry, Mom and Dad, she told her parents inwardly. Things will get better for us out here. I just know it.
When she looked up, Wolf was standing there, the baby already packed into his stroller. She felt her cheeks heat as she wondered how much he had heard.
“Are you guys ready to go check everything out?” he asked with a big smile for Amelia. “We can grab something to eat if you’re hungry. Or we could feed the chickens, or ride a pony, or?—”
“ Ride a pony ,” Amelia said, looking like she was going to leap out of her boots with excitement.
“I had a feeling you might say that,” Wolf told her. “Let’s go.”
They headed toward the big red barn. Sam could see more of the produce and decorations on display outside now, and hear the kids asking their grownups for candied apples and other treats. A delicious scent wafted out from the doors.
“The inside is a big grocery store,” Wolf told her. “There’s plenty in there that we grow on the farm, but we bring in things from other local farms too. And we’ve got a great big bakery. There are always lots of orders for pies and cakes over the holidays.”
“Wow,” Sam said, impressed. “I didn’t know this was such a big operation.”
“It’s considered a tourist farm,” Wolf told her. “We do plenty of regular farming here, but hosting visitors means a lot to my aunt and uncle. Busloads of school kids come here from the city to learn where their food comes from. It’s really cool.”
“That is really cool,” Sam agreed, impressed.
She glanced over to see what Amelia thought, but her sister’s eyes were clearly scanning the landscape ahead for the ponies. She didn’t even blink when they walked past a cart filled with candied apples.
After a few minutes of walking, they reached the corral. There was a line of families, and Sam realized that all the children in line were much smaller than Amelia. Maybe out this way, the kids Amelia’s age already knew how to ride.
“So, you want to give it a try?” Wolf asked Amelia.
She nodded, her eyes fixed on the pony, a rapturous smile on her face. If she cared that the other kids were much littler, she certainly wasn’t showing it. And she didn’t seem to be worried about it at all.
Of course, it was only a little dapple-gray pony, being led by its halter by a young woman in a cowboy hat. Not much to worry about. A very small boy in a riding helmet was currently on the pony’s back, a big smile on his face.
Sam felt secretly relieved that her sister would definitely be okay up there.
“Okay, go on and get in line,” Wolf told her. “We’ll be right here by the fence to cheer you on.”
Amelia grinned up at her sister and then darted to the line where the tiny kids waited with their parents.
“Are you sure she’s okay to do this?” Wolf asked, his voice deep with concern.
It took her a second to realize why he seemed more worried than she did.
“The seizures,” Sam realized out loud. “Yes, she’ll be okay. You’ve seen what they look like now. They’re called absence seizures, and what you saw is pretty much all it is.”
“So, she’s not in any pain or anything?” Wolf asked.
“Most of the time, she doesn’t even realize it happened,” Sam said, shaking her head. “I had them too, when I was her age, but I grew out of them. Most kids do.”
“You said she takes medicine?” Wolf asked.
“That’s about all we can do for it,” Sam told him. “I try not to focus on it too much with her. My parents were really scared about it with me. I don’t want the epilepsy to hold Amelia back from having a normal childhood.”
“That must have been rough if they didn’t let you do anything,” Wolf said.
“I mean, I did some things,” Sam said. “But no sports—not even cheerleading. And they were afraid to have more children, since it can be a genetic thing. So I was on my own, until our unexpected blessing arrived.”
She couldn’t help smiling as she gazed at her sister. Amelia was clinging to the fence, her eyes fixed on the little horse ambling slowly around the paddock.
“Wow,” Wolf said. “Well, I’m glad she came along.”
“Me too,” Sam said, laughing.
They chatted for a bit about Wolf’s big family, many of whom were working on the farm. She listened to stories of them sneaking out to get into the treats in the barn shop, and playing hide and seek on the hill where the Christmas trees were grown.
At last, the lady in the hat beckoned to Amelia, who suddenly turned back to Sam with a worried look on her face.
“Oh no,” Sam said.
“Take him for me,” Wolf said, pushing the stroller her way. “ I’ve got her, Natalie. ”
Sam took the handle to the stroller and watched as Wolf effortlessly jumped the fence and led the pony over to her sister.
Amelia was smiling again a second later, reaching out a tentative hand to stroke the pony’s velvety nose. When Wolf pointed to the wooden steps and platform she dashed over, clearly excited about her ride again.
Wolf led the pony over slowly and helped Amelia onto its back, adjusting the riding helmet for her as the girl he’d called Natalie had done for the other children.
Sam wondered if he would hand the lead over to Natalie again now that Amelia was all set. But he looked up at Amelia, asking her something. When she nodded, he began to walk slowly around the paddock.
Amelia’s face lit up and she looked to Sam with a big, amazed smile on her face. Sam felt her heart fill to overflowing. This was how her sister should feel—like an amazing person, doing amazing things.
When they made it around the ring the first time, Wolf pulled the pony up and chatted with Amelia a little more, demonstrating posture, and touching her foot to show her to put her heel down.
They started up again at a faster walk and Amelia laughed when she bounced a little, the sound clear and bright as a bell pealing through the frosty air.
In his stroller, Ezra made a chirping sound, as if he were calling out to his happy friend.
“Amelia is on a horse,” she told him, crouching beside the stroller to watch from his level. “She’s having a great time. Are you going to ride a horse one day?”
Ezra squeaked out a long string of ideas that Sam only wished she could understand. By the time he was finished, she just had time to catch Amelia finishing up her last circuit of the paddock.
Wolf helped her down from the pony and led her back to Sam. Amelia’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes were twinkling, and she looked like she might float away with excitement.
Sam heard her mother’s voice in her head: Calm down, try to just relax and focus on your breath.
But Sam wasn’t going to ruin her sister’s big moment on the off chance that her excitement could trigger an absence seizure. She held onto the slight worry for herself and let Amelia soak in the experience. Life was for living, after all.
“You were amazing up there,” Sam told her. “How did it feel?”
“It felt like everything, ” Amelia practically sang.
“Want to check out the playground next?” Wolf asked.
“Yes,” she said. “Definitely.”
“It’s right up that way,” he told her, pointing.
“Stay where we can see you,” Sam called after her sister, who was already darting off happily.
“She was brave up there for a first-timer,” Wolf said.
“Thank you for being there for her,” Sam told him. “I could tell she was panicking.”
“Once she got going, she really enjoyed it,” Wolf said. “She would take off with some lessons. They do them here. I can arrange it, if you want?”
Sam glanced up at him, impressed that he had waited to get her alone this time before offering something to Amelia.
“That sounds really nice,” she told him. “I’m not sure we can swing it just yet, but as soon as we can I’ll let you know.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again, pressing his lips together as if he were trying not to say something.
She felt a wave of shame come over her. She knew she was doing the best she could, but sometimes it cut her to the bone to know how much better Amelia’s life would be if Sam were in a better position. They could have a place with a real Christmas tree, riding lessons, and so much more.
She couldn’t help thinking about that community college website again. With a degree, her future would be more stable. As things were, if Captain Anderson closed the foundation down, she would be right back where she started. That knowledge was what made her save every spare penny she could.
When they reached the entrance to the park, Amelia was waiting for them. She smiled up at Sam and took her hand as they joined her.
“There’s so much cool stuff here,” Amelia said. “There’s a corn maze.”
“ Chris? ” Wolf yelled suddenly. “ Chris Bell? ”
Up ahead of them, a young man was repairing one of the wooden climbing toys on the playground, with a big German shepherd dog at his feet.
“ Yo, Chris ,” Wolf called out happily as they got a little closer.
But the man kept right on working, reattaching a pretend propellor to the wooden airplane. The dog hopped up and nudged the man’s chest and he looked up at last.
A big smile spread across his face when he spotted Wolf. He fished something out of his pocket, placed it against the side of his head, over his ear, and jogged over with the dog by his side.
“Wow,” Amelia said, her eyes lighting up when she saw the big German shepherd.
“That’s a beautiful dog, isn’t it?” Sam asked. Amelia had always loved animals.
One more thing we could have one day, if I get my ducks in a row…
“Can I pat him?” Amelia asked, as Chris approached.
But Sam had noticed something about the dog.
“Look at his cool harness,” she told Amelia. “That means he’s at work.”
Sam had helped a few veterans get service dogs, and she knew they weren’t supposed to socialize when they were working.
“That’s okay,” Chris said with a friendly smile. “She’s coming up on her break. This is Molly.”
Amelia needed no further invitation to fling herself on the ground and proceed to give the dog a thorough patting.
“I’m Amelia,” she told Molly, between pats. “And you’re beautiful.”
“She’s great,” Chris told Wolf, his eyes dancing over curiously to Sam.
“This is her big sister, Samantha,” Wolf said. “She works with Erik Anderson over at the new Homecoming Heroes Foundation in town.”
“Hey,” Chris said. “That’s awesome, Samantha. I helped out when he was putting that space together. A couple of us came by. I was on the paint crew.”
“Well, the office is beautifully painted,” Sam told him. “Thank you.”
“It’s great having a place like that out here,” Chris said, his expression growing serious. “A lot of guys don’t like to ask for help, especially if they’ve got to get all the way to the city to do it.”
“That’s exactly what the captain told me when he hired me,” Sam said. “He was hoping he could reach a lot more vets by locating in a place like Trinity Falls. The challenge now is to network and find good opportunities for anyone who wants to stay out this way long-term.”
“I actually have some ideas about that,” Chris said. “You guys should come tonight for Sunday dinner, if you can. I’ll bet I’m not the only one with ideas.”
“Oh,” Sam said, feeling a little embarrassed as she realized that the man probably assumed she and Wolf were together.
“That’s a great idea,” Wolf said right away.
She bit her lip, wondering if it was really okay to say yes. The way her heart soared with Wolf’s words told her that she had better be careful. Spending this much time with a man she admired and thought was handsome might be a slippery slope.
“He’s right. Everyone would love to bend your ear,” Wolf told her gently. “And Amelia can visit with the horses.”
Sam glanced down at her little sister, who was so taken with the dog that she hadn’t even heard the word horses.
“That would be amazing,” she heard herself say.
She just had to keep things professional. How hard could that be?