13. Wolf
13
WOLF
W olf stood by Samantha’s side the following Saturday, watching Amelia glue paper snowflakes onto a Christmas card at the little station for kids outside the toy store on Ambler Road.
Amelia was smiling proudly at her creation as the very pink-dressed owner of the toy store complimented it, and Wolf could sense Samantha’s joy without even looking at her.
Ezra was strapped to Wolf’s chest in his carrier, his little legs kicking excitedly at all the sounds, sights, and smells around them. He was missing his afternoon nap, but Wolf was pretty sure the boy would fall asleep in his carrier sooner or later.
Wolf and Ezra had spent the week getting into a routine. Day by day, Wolf gave the boy his meals on schedule, and put him in his crib at the same time each night. They even took a daily walk after the morning diaper change and bottle, right before Ezra’s big morning nap. Though Samantha had been busy at the office with a bunch of vets just returning home, Wolf and Ezra always stopped at the bakery and got a coffee to drop off for her on their way past.
Wolf liked a solid routine himself, and he could see that the boy was thriving with the pattern of his days. Now, after a week of refining the right daily plan, today’s Hometown Holiday celebration had thrown them off it completely.
But this was worth taking a break for.
Wolf had fond memories of attending the celebration every year as a child. It felt incredible to be here with Ezra, even though he was too little to know what was going on.
One day you’ll know about every tradition, he told the boy inwardly. You’ll be excited about the tree lighting, and you’ll want to stay until Santa Claus comes and hands out candy.
Whenever he pictured Ezra growing up, it was always right here in Trinity Falls, even though he knew that wasn’t very likely to happen. Before much longer, Wolf would need to go where there was work for him, which meant that they were headed for the city.
“This is a long day for him,” Samantha said softly, her eyes on Ezra, bringing Wolf out of his thoughts.
“He’s having fun,” Wolf said. “We’ll go back to our usual schedule tomorrow.”
Samantha nodded, but her eyebrows lifted slightly.
“What?” Wolf asked.
“I’m impressed, that’s all,” she said. “I mean, I heard you were kind of a control freak.”
He frowned until he saw the teasing smile that was tugging up the corners of her mouth.
“I guess I am a control freak,” he admitted.
“Well, I think that might be just what babies need,” Samantha told him with a gentle smile. “You can loosen up when he’s older.”
Wolf scowled and then realized she was teasing him again.
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?” he asked her. He couldn’t help loving the way her eyes were dancing.
“You make it so easy,” she said, giggling.
“Are you giggling at me?” he demanded, winking so that she would know he was teasing too.
“What are you guys laughing about?” Amelia asked suspiciously as she approached with her card in hand.
“Your sister is laughing at me for liking to have a routine,” Wolf said, smiling at Amelia, so that she would know everything was okay. “She thinks I’m no fun at all.”
He felt a little guilty when the little girl grinned up at him and rolled her eyes.
I’m sorry. I know better than to flirt with your sister. I just can’t seem to help myself…
“I never said you were no fun,” Samantha put in right away.
“Can we go on a fire engine ride now?” Amelia asked excitedly.
They had done so many fun things together all day—eating good food from the charity booths, playing games, and making crafts. But Amelia had been looking forward to the fire engine ride with Santa the most.
“Let’s check the line,” Samantha suggested.
Amelia began jumping up and down as they walked, as if her excitement was too much for regular walking.
Samantha glanced over at Wolf, as if to see if he had noticed her sister’s funny hopping. As he smiled down at her, to show her that he had, it occurred to Wolf that he hadn’t smiled this much in… well, probably ever.
Reggie Webb and Uncle Joe stood by the bakery, sipping coffee and talking up a storm. They both waved to Wolf’s little group as they passed, Reggie’s eyebrows lifting slightly as he took them in.
Reggie was a talker, he had been even back in Wolf’s childhood here. Wolf was pretty sure by this time tomorrow, anyone in town who hadn’t seen him enjoying the Hometown Holiday activities with Samantha would know all about it.
They’ll think we were on a date.
Are we on a date?
He glanced down at her again, wondering what she thought about the matter. He hadn’t been clear about what he was asking when he’d invited her. And maybe that was on purpose, since he wasn’t a hundred percent sure if it was a good idea himself. He knew what he wanted it to be, though…
Does she want this to be a date?
He felt wings beating in his chest every time he let himself think back to last Sunday night and the moment he’d almost kissed her.
She had been holding Ezra in her arms, wrapped in that soft shawl, her eyes sparkling as she gazed out at the snow.
He had moved so slowly, not wanting to break the spell…
But she jumped back as soon as she realized what was happening.
He’d felt her fear in that instant, and how could he blame her? He knew she didn’t want a boyfriend right now. She was overwhelmed just with her new job and her sister. And why had he even thought of kissing her, when they both knew he was going to leave Trinity Falls?
But she’s here now…
He’d figured it was best to give her a little space. But that lasted all of a few hours, and then he hadn’t been able to help inviting her for today.
And she said yes right away.
And she seemed happy to see him when he stopped by with a coffee for her every morning…
But that doesn’t mean she wants to be with me.
She was happy to see a friend. That was all. And he’d be happier himself if he kept that at the front of his mind. She had gone above and beyond to make his life easier when he needed a friend the most. Now he was going to be a good friend to her by not asking her for something more than she wanted.
“The line isn’t long,” Amelia squealed.
“Awesome,” Samantha said. “Let’s go.”
As they approached, Wolf couldn’t help noticing the roar of the engine and the squeals of the kids who were climbing up the ladder. The fire chief normally turned on the siren for part of the ride too.
“I think this will be too loud for Ezra,” he told Samantha. “We’ll wave to you from Park Avenue, okay?”
“Ezra can’t go?” Amelia asked sadly.
“He’s so little,” Samantha said. “We wouldn’t be able to explain to him why it’s so loud.”
“Okay,” Amelia said. “I’ll tell you all about it afterward, buddy.”
She let him grab her finger in his little fist and he squeaked at her excitedly, then opened wide for a huge yawn.
“Wow, you’re tired,” Amelia said. “You can take a nap while I’m gone.”
“See you in a bit,” Samantha said.
The two of them headed off hand in hand, leaving Wolf and Ezra to watch after them.
Wolf scanned the little town center, admiring the candy cane decorations hanging from the lampposts and the smiles and laughter of the whole community out buying food and crafts from the charity stands or sipping hot chocolate while the kids played in the amphitheater in front of the library.
Beside the amphitheater, the town Christmas tree had been strung with lights that wouldn’t be plugged in until the caroling tonight. In the shadow of the big tree, rows of cut evergreens, donated by Cassidy Farm, were being sold by the volunteer firefighters.
He spotted Axel Williams among the volunteers, and strode over to say hello.
Wolf and Axel had been in school together. They were part of a handful of guys who had joined the service at the same time, all for their own reasons, but inspired at least in part by the football coach who told them regularly how the Army had given him discipline and motivation to do his best every day.
Now, Wolf and Axel were both home for more than a visit for the first time in years. It felt good to bump into someone else in the sweet little town who had seen more of the world, and under the same kinds of circumstances. Wolf wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling a little out of place.
“ Wolf ,” Axel called out in his deep voice when he spotted him.
“Hey, buddy,” Wolf said, grasping the hand Axel had thrust out, and thumping the other man on the back. “I see they put you right to work.”
“I wondered why I hadn’t seen you volunteering up at the market,” Axel said, his eyes on Ezra. “Now I know.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ve got my hands full,” Wolf said, wondering if his friend was going to ask about Angela or anything else.
“He’s a cute one,” Axel said decisively.
“Yep,” Wolf said, grateful for his friend’s quiet nature. “Listen, are you guys delivering?”
“Aren’t you a Cassidy?” Axel asked, arching a brow. “Since when do you guys pay for trees?”
“I can’t volunteer,” Wolf said. “May as well make a purchase in support, right?”
“That’s nice,” Axel said. “Yeah, we can deliver.”
“To a third-floor walk-up?” Wolf asked. “It’s right here in town.”
“Sure thing,” Axel said. “Better keep it to a small one though. Some of these staircases are pretty narrow.”
“That’s fine,” Wolf told him. “Pick a nice one out for me?”
Just then, the fire engine passed. Wolf looked up to see Amelia waving to him excitedly. He smiled and waved back to her, lifting Ezra’s little hand to wave too.
When the fire truck was out of sight again, he and Axel put their heads together about the little tree, and Wolf handed over a cash donation when they had it figured out.
“So, some of the boys are going to meet up at the Barrel tonight,” Axel said, when their transaction was finished. “If you can get away.”
“Did you see us?” Amelia yelled as she ran up to join Wolf and Ezra in the tree lot. “Did you see me waving?”
“I sure did,” Wolf told her.
He turned back to Axel, whose eyes were darting between Amelia, Samantha, and Wolf.
“Hi, Axel,” Samantha said. “Good to see you.”
“You too, Miss Green,” he said with a rare smile.
“I’m hearing great things about our new flag football coach,” she added. “I told you it would be a perfect fit for you.”
Wolf had heard that Axel was working with some of the elementary school kids on a flag football program, but he hadn’t realized it was Samantha who’d set the whole thing up. It made perfect sense, now that he thought about it, since Axel was fresh out of the service, too.
“A better fit than I ever imagined,” Axel said with a look that Wolf couldn’t quite place, but gave him the feeling he was talking about more than football. “You all enjoying the celebration?”
“This town really knows how to go all-out for the holidays,” Samantha said with a bright smile.
An older couple approached and stood off to the side, their eyes on Axel like they had a question about the trees.
“Let me know about tonight,” Axel told Wolf as he turned to help them.
“Sorry, but I can’t, buddy,” Wolf said. “Thanks for the invite, though.”
“Hot chocolate?” Amelia asked.
Samantha looked to Wolf.
“That sounds great,” he told her. “I’ve been feeling jealous every time I see someone pass with one.”
They headed off to the little stand in front of the real estate office that was selling paper cups of cocoa to benefit a local autism charity.
“What were you and Axel talking about?” Samantha asked Wolf. “I didn’t even realize you two knew each other, but I should have known better in this town. He’s probably related to you somehow.”
“We actually went to school together,” Wolf said, chuckling. “He was asking me to go to the Barrel tonight. I guess some of the guys are getting together. But obviously I’m not going.”
He looked down at Ezra and smiled to himself at how sleepy the little one was. It was probably time to turn him around in the carrier to encourage him to nap a little.
“Oh, you are definitely going out with the guys,” Samantha said suddenly. “Amelia and I will hang out at your place and watch Ezra. Right?”
“ Right ,” Amelia said. “He’ll be nice and sleepy after his big day. He probably won’t even miss you.”
“Thanks for offering,” Wolf said. “But I’ve got to get him back on his schedule after today.”
“You’ll just tell us his schedule,” Samantha said gently. “And we’ll do everything for him exactly the way you lay it out.”
Something about her gentle words made his chest ache. She understood him. She knew he needed to feel like he was doing everything he could for Ezra—that everything he was in control of he was determined to do perfectly.
He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, press his forehead to hers and tell her wordlessly how much that meant to him.
She doesn’t want to be my girlfriend , he reminded himself. When she thinks about me, she’s just thinking about helping me, not about holding me.
“Taking care of Ezra isn’t your job,” Wolf said gruffly.
The words hung in the air for a moment. He had spoken too suddenly, too harshly.
“Of course not. We’re offering because we like spending time with him,” Samantha said after a moment. “We were only going to watch Christmas movies tonight. So we’ll just do that at your house instead. And remind me to get you in the group chat for the returning vets. That way you won’t miss the next get-together.”
Wolf glanced down at his unruffled friend, wondering how her hazel gaze remained so steady, when lately he felt like he was tearing himself apart inside every time he looked at her.