Chapter 18 #2
She would have liked Nico. Not only is he loyal, but he’s good-looking, polite and isn’t shy with his compliments. He probably would have charmed her into getting her to make him dinner more than her own husband.
God, I miss her.
I stop chopping vegetables to lower my head and breathe through the pain. It’s been over fifteen years, and it still feels like yesterday. The pain is so acute, the scar on my side throbbing in time with my heartbeats.
After pulling in a few deep breaths, I get back to cooking, adding the veggies and getting started on the meat.
Just as I’m sliding the beef into the oven, my doorbell rings five times back-to-back.
“I should just get him a key,” I mutter. It would be more convenient than him always ringing my doorbell like a fucking weirdo.
Shit, I’m thinking about giving Nico a key? After only a few weeks? God, what is he doing to me? I’ve heard of men being dickmatized, but this is next level.
With my usual scowl pulled in place, I open the door and glower at him. “You only need to ring the bell once. I can hear it.”
Like the dick he is, he presses it a few more times in quick succession. “Where’s the fun in that, D?”
I grab him by his collar and pull him in, loving the joyous sound of his laughter. Smiling back at him, I plant my lips on his, tasting his sweet mouth.
Nico backs me against the door, one hand dropping to cup my ass as he pulls my groin flush against his.
I would stand here and let him kiss me for hours, but I don’t want dinner to burn. I nip his bottom lip, making him pull away with a hiss.
“Smells good in here,” he says, walking to the kitchen. “I didn’t think you knew how to cook.”
“My mom taught me.” I step up to the stove and stir the food. “I think I remember what I’m doing, but she died when I was eight. I might fuck it up.” I try to keep the pain from my voice, but I don’t think I succeed.
Nico steps up behind me, kissing the back of my neck. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious. If it tastes half as good as it smells, it’ll be good.”
I smile but nudge him away. “Go sit down before I burn us. Then we won’t be eating shit because we’ll be in the emergency room.”
He chuckles and kisses the back of my neck once more, then sits down.
“You know,” I say, checking the food in the oven, “my mom was a brilliant cook. She refused to let Dad hire anyone like most of the wives of mafia bosses. She said if her family was going to eat anything, it would be because she made it. Dad said she deserved to be spoiled, to be treated like a queen, and she said, ‘If I’m the queen of this castle, I make the rules. Rules say I cook.’” I chuckle after trying to imitate her heavy Jersey accent.
“She loved telling that story. She was the best cook in the world.”
“And she taught you?”
“Yep. Carter had Dad. I had Mom. She was a beast, the best shot in the family with a few bodies of her own, so no one saw me hanging out with her as weak. More than Dad, she taught me a code for killing. Her biggest thing? Don’t be sexist. ‘Women aren’t always innocent.
If they fuck up and need to be put down, you put em’ down,’ she’d say. ”
Nico whistles. “Sounds like my kind of woman.” I glare at him. “If I didn’t have you, of course.”
“Nice save, dick.”
He throws a napkin at me and I burst into laughter.
Usually, I hate talking about Mom. It always hurts so bad, even the happy memories. But talking about her to Nico, someone I know will appreciate hearing about her, it’s easy. My hand goes to my ribs, but for once, it doesn’t hurt to touch my scar. It feels like healing.
“Did she have any family? Someone that could tell you about her after…” Nico’s voice trails off.
“No. Her dad was dead, and her mom cut her off when she got a new family. No siblings. All I have are Dad’s memories, but he talks about her often.
He never sugarcoats anything, never makes her out to be some sort of angel.
She had her flaws and I love hearing about them. Made her human. Means she was real.”
Nico’s face softens, but he doesn’t try to coddle me. He probably knows I’d shut down if he did. How the fuck does he know me so well?
About fifteen minutes later, dinner is done. I plate our food, then incline my head to the balcony. “It’s not too could outside. Wanna sit out there and eat?”
“Yeah, let’s do it. Beer?”
“I have some in the fridge. Bring the whole six-pack.”
“You wanna get drunk, Whitlock?”
“No, but I don’t wanna keep running in and out in case I do.”
I step outside and Nico follows me out a few seconds later, placing the beers on the table.
We sit, and I watch as Nico puts a forkful of food into his mouth. He groans and closes his eyes, placing his hand on his chest. “Jesus. I see why Dominic fell for your mom. If she cooked half as good as you, I think he hit the jackpot.”
I grin. “Yeah, he did. They were perfect together.” I push my food around on my plate. “Wish I could have seen her grow old. Her and Dad together would have been unstoppable.” I pause and look up at the stars. “She wouldn’t have approved of your boss marrying her son, that’s for sure.”
“Aw, come on. Kai really isn’t that bad. You just don’t like him because y’all were on opposite sides. You didn’t like me, either. Now look at you, cuddled up with me and cooking me dinner.”
I laugh loudly, splitting the night air with the sound. “Oh, fuck off. I wanted to cook and wanted the company. You should consider yourself lucky that I invited you over for something other than my dick in your ass.”
Now that I mention it, I did invite him here for something other than that. It wasn’t because I wanted to fuck him or for him to fuck me. I wanted the closeness, the company, the companionship. Being in Nico’s company makes me happy.
It’s been so long since I’ve been truly happy that the emotion feels foreign.
He grunts. “Yeah, okay. Though those piercings are a good reason to call me over.”
We chuckle and eat our food, making small talk, but nothing as deep as our conversation in the kitchen. I like talking to him about my mom, but it’s left me feeling raw. I don’t think I have it in me to get deep like that again.
Nico pushes his plate away when he’s done and pats his belly. “God damn, Declan. I might have to put a ring on your finger after that meal. I need more.”
“Don’t wanna be married. That’s a shitty proposal, anyway.”
He tilts his head as he looks at me. “Never?”
I start to say no, but I’m not sure if that’s the entire truth. At first, yeah, I never wanted to be married. Felt it would tie me down and make me soft. But seeing Carter and Kai, how they have each other’s back, how they put each other first, it’s what I’ve always wanted.
Since Mom died, I’ve never been anyone’s first. Finding that special someone that can see past my bullshit, that would be…nice.
“Maybe,” I answer instead. “Who knows what the future holds.”
Nico hums and leans back in his chair, looking up at the sky. “When was the last time you looked at the stars?
“A few weeks ago. When I took that jackass out to the middle of the Atlantic and dropped him over the side.”
“Yeah, I heard about that. I’ve never done it. Always wanted to.”
“Wanna try it one day?”
“Fuck yeah I do. You gonna take me?”
On impulse, I walk over to him and step between his legs. Placing my hands on the arms of the chair, I lean in and kiss him gently. “It’s a date.”
Nico growls and threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me back to his lips.
I kiss him hard, putting all the unanswered questions, all my worries, all my hopes and fears into the kiss. All the things I wish I could say to him into the kiss. All the things I wish I was for him into this kiss.
Nico should have someone that isn’t always angry, someone that isn’t always thinking with his gun, someone that is willing to be upfront with how they feel. But I can’t let him go. When I told him he was mine, I initially meant just for the sex. Now? It’s more. So much fucking more.
I lower myself to my knees in front of him, keeping our mouths fused. Nico leans into me, running his hands up and down my back. I want him in bed, under me so I can explore his body, but I need him too much. Under the stars will have to do.
Breaking the kiss, I press my hand into his chest until he’s leaning back.
My hand goes to his pants, undoing the button and zipper while I maintain eye contact with him.
Nico licks his thick lips, his perfect tongue making an appearance.
God, I want to feel his mouth around me, but that can wait until I’ve had him.
I drag his pants down to his knees, watching his dick pop out, standing tall and proud. I grin at him. “Did you expect to get laid tonight?”
Nico isn’t wearing any underwear.
He smiles back. “I always hope to fuck you when I come over. But it’s not necessary. I just like being with you.”
My heart literally fucking flutters. I’ve never had someone say the most perfect thing to me in my life. It’s like Nico knows all the little things I wish someone said and does it without hesitation or thought.
Fucking perfect.
I slide closer to him as I wrap a hand around his heavy erection. I bury my nose in the crease of his thigh, breathing him in. “You smell good.”
He hums, threading his fingers through my hair. “What else?”
I peer up at him, hoping he sees the heat in my eyes. “I bet you taste good, too.”
I open my mouth and stick out my tongue. Nico slaps his cock on the surface, over and over. I groan, watching lust brim in his gaze.
After a few more slaps, he pushes into my mouth, almost touching my tonsils. I gag but lock my lips around him. Wetness pools in my mouth, making the bob of my head slick and smooth.
Nico curses, his fingers tight in my hair. The threads of pain in my scalp hurt so fucking good, making my cock twitch in my pants.
“God, Declan,” Nico grunts, his hips moving up and down as he fucks my throat. “Never had someone as good as you.” He thumbs over my cheek and I look up at him as tears fill my eyes. “No one. You’re…so…fucking…good.” Every word is punctuated with a thrust.
Unable to keep my hands away from my dick any longer, I scramble at my fly, getting unzipped and pulling out my shaft.
I groan when I wrap my hand around my length, tugging in strong pulls. My piercings catch on my hand, ratcheting up my pleasure. Nico’s dick in my mouth makes my jerking off even better.
I close my eyes and slide my mouth up and down on Nico’s hard rod, pulling pleased moans from his throat. My own pleasure climbs higher and higher, loving that I can make him feel so good with just my mouth.
“If you want my dick in you,” Nico grunts, making my eyes roll up to his, “you need to stop. Or I’m going to come.”
Keeping our gazes locked, I hollow my cheeks and suck him harder, watching as his eyes flutter, then roll into the back of his head.
I jerk myself harder, the bite of pain from my barbells turning me on more.
“Declan. Fuck…oh fuck…swallow my load, baby.”
Did he just call me baby? No, he meant that in the heat of sex. My aroused brain can’t differentiate and my release pulses at the tip of my dick. But I hold off, squeezing the base of my cock to keep from nutting too soon. I want to taste Nico before I blow. He has to—
With a loud grunt, he fills my mouth with his seed. Spurt after spurt spills down my throat and I swallow it all, not wanting to waste a drop.
When I’ve sucked him dry, I get to my feet and push at his shirt. Nico sees what I want and raises it so his abs are on display.
I jerk my dick hard and fast, my eyes glued to his softening cock, up to his hard, beautiful abs. Where I want to spill in between and fucking mark him.
“Fuuuuck,” I groan as a monster nut shoots out of me, painting his abs and his wet dick. My knees almost give out, trembling as I moan into the night.
Nico drags a finger through my spend and sucks on it eagerly, maintaining eye contact with me as he cleans the digit with his thick tongue.
Then he stands and pulls me into his arms, pasting us together as he kisses me deeply. I moan as waves of pleasure keep shooting through me.
This. This is what I want, this overwhelming need for someone. The feeling that I don’t want to let them go. The closeness that only Nico can give me.
I’m.
Fucked.