Chapter 19
DECLAN
Now that I know I’m in too deep with Nico, I have to clear the air with my brother-in-law. Nico said he wouldn’t say anything to Carter, but I need to hear him say it.
Kai and I have never gotten along. Before he was married to my brother, I’d jump into any fights between our family and his, throwing more than my fair share of punches. After they got married, I tried to take his head off when he got in my face about killing someone that wanted to kill my brother.
One thing I’m proud of myself for is I never tried to break up their marriage or anything like that.
I don’t like Kai, but I love Carter and wouldn’t hurt him like that.
But I’ve never extended the olive branch after seeing how happy he made my brother.
I hated because of who he was, then I hated him for taking my brother’s time when I barely got any.
But if he’s going to keep a secret for me, I have to say something.
And every minute of it will feel like razor blades sliding down my throat.
I text Nico and ask where they are and he tells me they’re at the construction site since Kai is still working on the casino plans.
He asks why, but instead of answering, I shove my phone back in my pocket.
What I have to say to Kai is my business.
All Nico will do is try to interfere. I need to talk to my brother-in-law alone.
I look around at the construction company after I pull up.
Regardless of the shit Charlie spewed before he was killed, Kai made a good business decision opening this company.
He has something legitimate to fall back on in the event we lose our illegal holdings and it’s doing so well he’s thinking of expanding.
Expanding his company means possibly expanding our territory.
Sighing, I jog up the stairs and pull the door open. Percy, Kai’s administrative assistant, looks up at me nervously, his wide green eyes flicking back and forth. “Um…hi. Who are you—”
I point to Kai’s office. “My brother-in-law. He busy?”
Percy rises a few inches from his chair, but Kai comes striding out, probably hearing my voice. “Declan. What a surprise.” Kai’s voice is dry, his eyes guarded.
Huh, he really has changed. A year ago, Kai would have stormed over to me, probably pulling a gun out for no other reason than me being a Whitlock. Now, he looks like he wants to talk but doesn’t know how to take me.
Nico comes up behind him, flexing in his dark blue suit. I smile at him and see Kai’s eyes blow wide.
Flicking my gaze to Kai, I thumb toward the door and ask, “Can we talk? Alone?” I glance at Nico, seeing his face blank, but I can’t think about him right now. This is between me and Kai.
“You’re asking?” Kai looks incredulous.
Sighing, I say, “Yeah, I am.”
He looks at Nico, who nods, then Kai says, “Okay, yeah. We can go outside. I need some fresh air, anyway.”
Nico winks at me and I feel my face heat, but I turn on my heels and leave the building. Kai is only a few steps behind me, shutting the door after he exits.
I wait for him at the bottom of the stairs, then we walk slowly toward the gates of the construction company.
He makes no move to start the conversation, and I need to stop being a bitch, so I say, “You can’t tell Carter about me and Nico.”
“Didn’t plan on it. Is there are reason you’re keeping it from him? Nico not good enough for you?”
“What?” I ask, looking at him sharply. “That’s not—”
Kai stops walking, and I do the same, turning to face him. “If you’re keeping a secret from your brother because you think Nico is beneath you, that shit won’t fly. I’ll fucking pop the top off this news right fucking now. Nico is—”
“I know he’s good enough for me. I’m not good enough for him!
” I shout. “You know all the rumors about me Kai. Most of them are true. Who talks shit about Nico because he likes to shoot first instead of talking like a civilized fucking person? No one, that’s who.
He deserves someone better than me, but I can’t fucking let him go.
” I shove my hands through my hair. “I’m not keeping him a secret because he’s not good enough for me.
It’s because he’s mine and I don’t want anyone interfering with that. Do you understand?”
The question wasn’t asked with malice—I want to know if he knows where I’m coming from.
He and Carter had to live their marriage out loud, in front of everyone to keep up the charade that our families were integrated until they fell in love.
I don’t want that. Not when I’m just coming to terms that I feel more than lust for Nico.
I want time to explore this…deeper connection we have.
Kai crosses his arms over his chest, searching my face. “Does Carter know you like men?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve only ever told Hendrix and Nico. Now you. I’m gay. I’ve been gay since I can remember.”
Kai tilts his head. “Thanks for telling me. Though Carter will be pissed that you told me before him. You think he’ll judge you for being gay?”
I give him a look. “Really? He’s married to you and all y’all do is fuck. I’m sure he wouldn’t care that I liked men, too.”
Cracking a smile, Kai says, “We do more than fuck. We’re a team, me and Carter. It took some work to get there, but we are. I have his back like he has mine. We don’t have secrets.”
“That’s great for you two, but I don’t want my sexuality to be the topic of pillow talk between you.
What happens in my life, unless it will fuck with the family, is my business.
” My stomach clenches as I think about the blackmail I went through.
But I figured it out, and it’s nothing. It’s over.
I’ll fill Carter in when I tell him about me and Nico. No sooner.
Though something still doesn’t feel right about Jadon’s death and that blackmail being wrapped up. Something is missing. Something vital.
Kai’s eyes soften and he pushes his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I’ll keep it to myself. I just don’t want you fucking Nico over. I’m going to tell you what he told me about Carter. If you’re for real about him, be for real. Don’t fuck him over.”
“I don’t plan to. He makes me think. Makes me use this.
” I tap the side of my head. I take a deep breath and tell him something I’ve never told anyone else.
If I’m going to build this relationship with Kai, I have to start with trust. “Since Hendrix died, I’ve had no one in my corner.
Carter is there, but because he has to be.
No one I chose, no one that is there because they want to be, not because they’re paid.
Nico is…he keeps my secrets. He’s earned my trust. He gets me.
Why would I fuck someone like that over? ”
He studies me, a smile tipping up his lips. “I never thought I’d see the day the two of us would have a conversation without a punch being thrown.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “Yeah, well, the night’s still young. Never know what could happen if you get on my nerves enough.”
Kai laughs in a hard burst. “You’ve been different. Nico behind that?” I nod. “I can tell. It looks good on you. Love can make you different.”
“Yeah, not love. Just…I like his company.”
Kai grunts, then his eyes flick just past my shoulder. “Did you tell Carter you would be here today?”
“No, why?”
“Then you’d better find a reason you are, quick.” He points and I turn around, seeing Gavin pull through the gate. Carter leans forward in the passenger seat, his eyes bouncing back and forth between me and Kai. He’s probably checking his husband to make sure I didn’t hit him.
“God, he’s so overprotective,” I say, though I don’t feel the usual sting of jealousy. Carter was overprotective of me when we were kids, too. Hell, even now, if someone fucked with me, Carter would be the first to have my back.
Well, now he’d probably have to beat Nico out of the way.
I grin as I think about the man in the building, the man that I want to pursue a future with.
At least I think I do. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone and I’m sure I’ll fuck it up. But with Nico by my side, I don’t think he’ll let me.
Carter hurries out of the car, wrapping his arm around Kai possessively. “What’s up, little brother?”
“Hey, Carter,” I say with a smirk. “Don’t worry, I didn’t come here to start shit with your husband. I came to talk business.”
Carter narrows his eyes. “Business.”
“Yeah. You know my cabin? I want an addition. Kai has the best construction company in the state. It’s a small project, but I wanted an estimate.”
Kai looks relieved that I came up with a lie on the spot. “Declan just has to send me his floor plans and I can get started. I’ll contact the architects I work closely with, and we can draw something up.”
“Thanks.” I reach my hand out for him to shake and both Carter and Kai look nonplussed.
Before I can drop my hand in embarrassment, Kai takes it. He squeezes it once, giving me a signal that he’ll keep my secret.
Carter grins and drops his hand from Kai just to throw it around my shoulder. “Good to see you in a better mood, Deck. In fact, you’ve been super chill over the past few weeks. I guess sparring with Nico has helped. Got all that negative energy out.”
I snort. “Yeah, you say that because marriage calmed you down. Then again, the only person you were beating to a pulp shares your bed.”
He laughs and musses up my hair. He knows I hate that, so I push his hand away. “Whatever. I have to talk to Kai for a few, but if you’re free, we can do lunch?”
I check my watch and curse. I’ve been away from my casino for a few hours. I actually need to get to work. “Can’t. I have that meeting with HR about them not doing thorough background checks. I have to do some firing. Rain check, yeah?”
“Of course, little brother. See you soon.”
I give him a hug, feeling him stiffen before he pats me on the back. “See you soon, Car.”
I want to go back into the building to see Nico, to give him a kiss and breathe in his spicy scent, but if I’m keeping shit a secret, I can’t. I settle for texting him when I get back in my car, asking him to come over tonight.