29. Jasper
29
JASPER
A week passed, and Jasper hadn’t heard from Ellie. The children were back at school and there were signs of early summer everywhere he looked. Not wanting to put pressure on Ellie, he’d refrained from contacting her and had stayed away from The Garden Café, too. With the children at school, it was easier because they weren’t there asking him to go for breakfast or questioning why he didn’t want to go.
Initially, he’d felt quite stoic about what had happened, but with each day that passed, his heart had begun to ache. It was a low, dull ache that nagged at him like a sore muscle or a sensitive tooth. He knew why. Reality was setting in. The reality that Ellie would leave the village and he’d never see her again or only on the TV screen. The reality that he’d found someone, a woman who could be his person, and then he’d lost her. And not just him, but his children. They had asked after Ellie, wondered where she was and why they hadn’t seen her, and that had made him curse himself for letting her in. After all, if he hadn’t allowed her to spend time with them, then none of them would have become fond of her. None of them would have known her to miss her. It was all his fault.
After dropping the children at school, he walked to the café. He wasn’t sure why because he didn’t want to go there, but it was like he couldn’t help himself. Even if it was just to say goodbye, then that was better than nothing. If she wasn’t already gone, that was, because he knew she could have left by now. But something drew him there, and he realised he needed to try to see her one last time, however painful that would be. It was time for some closure.
At the café gardens, he let himself through the gate and walked inside.
And there she was. Bag on her shoulder. Suitcase at her side. Saying goodbye to Pearl.
His heart squeezed then, fit to break.
Turning, he grabbed the gate and yanked it open, wanting to get away before she spotted him. It turned out he wasn’t brave enough to say goodbye after all.