17. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Declan
Declan
S avannah, Kenzi, and I quickly fall into a comfortable routine. Several evenings during the week, I would make my way to my mother’s house for dinner, a plan that she had orchestrated to bring us together. My mother was over the moon that I was coming to her house so often, so she was more than happy to help. It was during and after these meals that I would have the opportunity to spend quality time with both Savannah and Kenzi. My mother’s house became a haven, a place where we could all come together and enjoy each other’s company. Having another woman around, especially someone she trusts like my mom, seems to help Savannah let her guard down.
As the days go by, I attempt to bond with Kenzi. Knowing she is part of the package deal, I want her to feel as comfortable with me as possible. I bring her treats and toys, and we play together in the backyard. It is heartwarming to see how excited she gets when I arrive at the door. She jumps up and down and claps her hands, unable to contain her excitement. I can sense her growing trust in me, seeing me as an integral part of her life, and it makes me deeply care for that precious little girl. It’s incomprehensible to me how her father can disregard loving and protecting her.
This routine not only allows me to spend time with Savannah and Kenzi, but also gives me the chance to observe their interactions. I can see the love and connection between them, and it makes my heart ache with longing. I desperately want to be a part of their lives, to create my own bond with them both. To create a family and give them the security and happiness that I know I can.
Some days, I even catch Savannah staring at me and smiling when she doesn’t know I’m looking. Watching me and Kenzi play together makes her particularly emotional. There is no way I can hold out much longer. I want Savannah and Kenzi to officially be mine.
Friday comes along and I take off early from work, knowing that Savannah is at home. Knocking on the door, I’m surprised to see Savannah running around in a panic.
“What’s wrong?”
“I have to work tonight, and your mom isn’t feeling well. She was supposed to babysit. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I know my mother is just fine because I called her on my way home from work. She didn’t mention anything about being sick today. I’m not sure what my mom is playing at, but she’s been excited to play matchmaker for me and Savannah for a while now. Seeing this as an opportunity to show Savannah what it’s like to have someone she can depend on to help her with Kenzi, I seize the moment.
“Why don’t you just calm down? I can watch Kenzi.”
“No, I can’t ask you to do that, Declan, but thank you for offering.”
“Deckin Deckin,” Kenzi cries out, running and throwing herself into my arms, and laying her head on my shoulder. “I miss you today.”
“I missed you too, Princess.” Looking over and seeing Savannah’s glassy eyes I attempt to reassure her. “Kenzi misses me, and I miss her. It would be doing me a favor to let me spend time with her.”
Despite her reluctance, Savannah finally agrees to let me babysit while she goes to work her late shift at the diner. I’m letting her believe I support her working until she’s ready to accept my desire to take care of her. She has the freedom to choose her path, whether that means pursuing education for a better career, following her passion in work, or focusing on raising our family. Her happiness is my priority, so I want her to do whatever she pleases.
After her mother left for work, I ask Kenzie what she wants to do first.
“Pway princess.”
“Okay, sweet girl, we can play princess. What do I need to do?”
“You come my room,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me along until we get to her bedroom. All of her toys seem to be in here.
“Sit down pwease.”
Taking a seat on the carpet, I wait as she gathers her toys. Upon her return, she brings back nail polish, hair ties, barrettes, and makeup designed for young children.
I’ve never done a little girl’s hair or painted her nails, but as a girl dad, I suppose I should start learning.
“Take a seat, Kenzi, and I’ll begin brushing your hair.”
Kenzi bursts into laughter, looking at me as if I’ve told the best joke ever.
“No, sillwe. You don’t do hair. You are the princess. I haves to fix you to be pwetty.”
It just hit me that this little girl actually wants to do my hair and makeup, not the other way around. Frustrated, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, accepting my role as the princess. The makeup won’t ever be seen by anyone. I’ll make sure to remove it before Savannah comes back. It’s fine. With a plan in mind, I arrange Kenzi’s makeup and hair items on her small table and turn so she can get to my hair.
She begins by brushing my hair, which is cropped short on the sides but has a longer length on the top. She chooses to arrange the longer bits of hair into three small ponytails on the top, making them stand straight up.
Once satisfied, she approaches me with a small hand mirror to demonstrate how it looks, and I feel my face blush. My appearance is laughable. There’s absolutely no chance anyone will witness me looking like this.
“See, pwetty, Deckin.”
Seeing her beam with happiness, I can’t help but break into a smile myself.
“Good job, Kenzi. You are the best princess hair styler in the land.”
When she laughs, the ice surrounding my heart melts away. Despite looking ridiculous, I feel happy knowing I did the right thing by allowing this little girl to dress me up.
She begins applying my makeup. When I close my eyes, she places something on my eyelids. Then, I become aware of something powdery touching my cheeks. She completes it by applying something sticky to my lips. My assumption is that it’s either lip gloss or, if I’m fortunate, some ChapStick. Kenzi, my well-intentioned but clearly inexperienced little girl, has transformed my face into a garish and clown-like mess. The powder-blue eyeshadow extends far beyond my eyelids, reaching all the way to my eyebrows. The too-pink blush appears as if someone has playfully splattered it onto my cheeks, completely disregarding any sense of subtlety. And the bright red lipstick, oh, the bright red lipstick. It’s not only smeared across my lips but has somehow managed to find its way onto my beard, creating the most ridiculous face. I can’t help but feel a mix of disbelief and embarrassment.
Again, Kenzi breaks the silence, clapping her hands and jumping for joy. “Pwetty princess, Deckin. I wuv it.”
To prevent any hurt feelings, I put on a big smile and made a firm decision to keep her happy until the end of the evening.
“Wets do your nails, Princess,”
“Okay, darlin’, let’s do my nails,” I concede.
It’s a good thing nobody is around to witness how much fun this adorable little girl is having at my expense. She opts for a variety of colors, painting each nail a different shade—red, green, blue, white, and purple. Then, she repeats the same process with my other hand.
“Excellent job, Kenzi.”
“You wuv it?” she asks sweetly.
“It’s beautiful, just like you.” I reach out and tickle her little belly. Chuckling happily, she playfully moves around to avoid my ticklish touch.
“Okay, lovely lady, it’s bedtime for you.”
Despite not being happy about bedtime, she still goes along and does what I ask.
Once I get Kenzi into bed, I read her a quick book, and she’s out like a light, sleeping peacefully. With a deep breath, I get up to walk out of the room when my phone rings. Thinking it’s probably Savannah checking up on us, I answer the call quickly.
“Hello.”
“Man, I’m really glad you picked up, Declan,” my brother replies.
There’s loud music and people talking in the background, but I can’t make out the words. It’s just very noisy.
“Mason, are you there?” With a small chuckle, I tease him, “Let me guess, big brother got drunk and now needs someone to drive him home?”
“Dec, you won’t believe who I spotted at The Lucky Horseshoe.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Who?”
“Savannah, and she’s dressed in their uniform, you know the short, short, short shorts that show their ass cheeks as they walk away from the table? Her top is cut so low that her breasts are almost falling out.”
“Mason, this is not funny at all. Are you joking?” I can’t believe my woman is wearing something like that in front of a group of intoxicated men.
“I’m serious as a heart attack. Considering how much you care about her; I wouldn’t joke about this.”
“I’ll be right there. Mason, keep my girl safe until I get there, please.”
Frantically, I rush into Kenzi’s room, scooping her up and swiftly carrying her to the truck. Savannah gave me her car seat and made sure it was properly installed in my truck herself. I secure the tired little girl in her car seat and quickly get in. My mother’s house is located downhill, and it’s along the route to town. Unable to bring Kenzi to the bar, I call Mom to see if she can watch her for me.
When I get to mom’s she runs out to the truck and takes a sleeping Kenzi into her arms. The woman does not look ill at all, just as I suspected. “Declan, what in the hell are you wearing?”
“Mom, I don’t have time for this. I need to get to Savannah.”
“You go on. I’ve got Kenzi now,” she assures me as she chuckles and turns, walking into the house.
As I drive through the night, my mind is consumed with thoughts of Savannah. The narrow winding roads going down the mountain are treacherous in the best conditions, but late at night, it’s even worse. I’m taking the curves a little too fast and over correcting afterwards. Images of her in those revealing clothes, surrounded by other men, fuel my anger and jealousy. The thought of her working at a sleazy bar on a Friday night intensifies these emotions, making me seethe with frustration. The grip on the steering wheel tightens, my knuckles turning white, as if holding on to it with all my might can somehow bring me closer to her.
Finally, pulling up to The Lucky Horseshoe, I jump from my truck almost before it stops. Bursting into the bar, I glance around for Savannah. Mason is in my line of sight, and his face is priceless. He comes up to me, walking around me in a circle, eyeing me strangely.
“Declan, what on earth have you been getting yourself into?” Mase inquires, with a sense of wonder that confuses me.
Savannah comes from around the corner carrying drinks to a table and stops in her tracks. She’s looking directly at me with her mouth wide open in astonishment.
“Declan, what are you doing here? Is Kenzi okay? Where is she?”
The music that is playing suddenly stops, and it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. That’s never happened in The Lucky Horseshoe, well, that I know of. Looking around the room, I notice everyone has stopped and is staring at me. Some are whispering, others are laughing hysterically.
Closing my eyes, my head tilts backwards towards the sky. “Fuck,” I shout loudly. I completely forgot about the outrageous hair and makeup that Kenzi put on me before Mason called. When I found out my woman was at a bar full of men, barely clothed, my only concern was taking Kenzi to Mom’s and rushing to the bar to find Savannah.
The bar is packed, and it looks like most of the town is here tonight. They are all seeing me looking absolutely insane.
Opening my eyes, determined to get Savannah and get the hell out of here, I call for her, “Savannah lets go.”
“What happened? Where’s Kenzi? Is she okay?” she asks frantically as she drops the drinks at the table and rushes over to me.
“What happened is that you are in a bar dressed like a stripper. Get your ass in my truck, now.”
“Hell no, Declan Walker. You don’t get to tell me what to do. I’m working and simply asked if my daughter is alright. I did not ask for you to be bossy.”
“Kenzi is fine. I left her at Mom’s. Now come on, let’s go home.”
“What you’re doing is jeopardizing my job, and I can’t afford to lose it,” she sasses back.
Getting closer to her, our noses almost touching as I once again demand her obedience. “I’m not saying it again, Savannah. Either get in my truck or I’ll physically put you there.”
She gasps, realizing the seriousness of my glare. After that, she maintains her stare for a brief moment. Then, out of nowhere, she starts laughing hysterically.
“Savannah, what the hell?”
“This has to be a joke. That was so funny, guys. You and your brother planned this as a practical joke, didn’t you?” She continues to laugh.
What makes her think I would come here looking like a clown when half the town is watching?
Frustrated with her still standing in front of all of these fuckers with her ass cheeks and tits hanging out for everyone to see, I bend down, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. Right now, she’s hanging upside down, screaming and hitting me on my lower back and ass.
Disregarding the people staring and Mason’s laughter, I carry Savannah and gently place her inside my truck. I fasten her seat belt, making sure she’s safe and secure. “Do not move,” I insist.
Refusing to engage in conversation, I shut the passenger door and walk to my side of the truck, start the engine, and drive off. My temper is teetering on the edge, and I’m afraid I’ll say something that sets us back and ruins our progress.
As we travel on the winding roads, I pick up on a sniffle. Glancing to my right, I see Savannah wiping her eyes, attempting to hold back her tears. My heart aches when I see her in tears.
“Baby, don’t cry. I’m going to fix everything.” Placing my hand on hers, I give it a gentle squeeze. Her hand feels so fragile beneath mine, and I can sense the tension in her grip.
As we continue along the winding roads, the weight of Savannah’s sadness seems to permeate the air. Her sniffles turn into soft sobs, each one causing her delicate shoulders to tremble. I can see the glistening trails of tears on her flushed cheeks, evidence of her struggle to hold back the flood of emotions. My own heart throbs in rhythm with hers, aching to ease her pain.
Just as we’re heading back home, I hear a thumping noise out of nowhere, indicating a flat tire. The truck is vibrating as if hitting bumps, despite the road being smooth. I decrease my speed and park the truck on the side of the road.
“Unfortunately, we’ve got a flat,” I announce, despite it being obvious.
Exiting the car, I make my way towards the flat tire and begin the process of changing it. After a few minutes, Savannah comes to stand outside the truck and watches me work.
Right after I get the tire off and start to put the spare on, I hear a car pull up beside us. Looking over, I notice it’s a police cruiser.
The police officer walks over and he greets Savannah. “Hello, ma’am. Is everything alright?”
“Yes, sir, we just have a flat tire,” Savannah informs him before moving to hide behind me. As he continues to talk, Savannah gives him a little smile, I guess deciding that he’s okay since there’s no indication of aggression.
Seeing she isn’t having a meltdown at the sight of him makes me happy and tells me she’s managing her anxiety better. I should be happy about that. However, it really gets under my skin to see her smile at this guy and him stare at her like she’s a juicy steak. All too soon, I find myself consumed by waves of jealousy. Purposefully, I arrange myself in front of Savannah again, strategically hiding her from this guy’s view. The cop, Johnson, is an asshole who I have known my whole life, and we’ve always despised each other. We always address each other by our last names.
As I meet Johnson’s gaze, I notice his eyes widen but he remains silent. After a few seconds, it dawns on me why he’s looking at me as if I’ve lost my mind. In a moment of frustration, I drop my head in shame and mutter, “Fuck my life.” How could I keep forgetting that I resemble a hungover drag queen on crack? Irritated with my own forgetfulness, I push aside my humiliation and make it my priority to get Johnson away from Savannah.
Johnson’s laughter echoes through the air as I continue to struggle with the stubborn lug nuts. His amusement only fuels my annoyance, and I shoot him a glare. “Oh, sure, find it hilarious while I’m out here getting dirty and sweaty,” I snap, my frustration mounting.
Savannah, always one to add her two cents, chimes in with a sarcastic snort .
“Well, I guess if you find changing a tire so amusing, maybe you should lend a hand then,” I retort, my words laced with sarcasm.
Johnson’s smug expression remains, seemingly unaffected by my irritation. “I mean, come on”—he chuckles—“the sight of you making a fool of yourself never gets old.” His laughter continues to fill the air, making me question whether this whole situation is actually as funny as they both seem to think.
The one thing I’m thankful for is that Savannah’s tears have stopped. If them laughing at my humiliating situation makes her less sad, then I’ll take it. I’m also relieved to see her not triggered by the uniform and squad car as she had been just a few weeks ago.
After getting the spare on I clean up the jack and busted tire, throwing it into the bed of my truck. “Come on, Savannah, let’s go,” I command without acknowledging Johnson.
Out of nowhere, I hear the sound of a camera and see a flash. The fucker is holding up his phone taking a picture of me. Sighing out of frustration, I help my woman into the truck and buckle her seat belt before walking around to the driver’s side and getting in.
We drive the rest of the way home before either of us speaks again. Once I pull into my driveway, the sound of gravel crunching under the tires fills the air. Savannah, tired and disheartened, opens the truck door. Instead of heading towards my front door, she veers off the path, making her way through the dense woods towards her secluded cabin. She is definitely not dressed for walking through dense trees and brush with that ridiculous outfit on.
Confused, I call out to her, my voice carrying through the stillness of the woods, “Vannah, what are you doing?”
She turns back, her weary eyes meeting mine. “Going home. I figure, since you pulled up to your house, you wanted me to walk to mine.”
My heart sinks as I realize the misunderstanding. I quickly clarify, desperation lacing my words, “No, Vannah. I wanted you to come to my house with me.”
Guilt and exhaustion weigh heavily on her shoulders. She hesitates, before replying, her voice tinged with defeat. “Your house? I don’t think that’s a good idea, Declan. I’m exhausted, and now I’ve probably lost my second job. My car is still parked at the bar, and worst of all, my daughter is away from me. I just want to be alone.”
The air grows heavy with the weight of her words, and a sense of loneliness envelops us both as we stand there, on opposite paths, unsure of what lies ahead. “Savannah, please, come home with me for the night,” I whisper, watching her reaction with anticipation.
As her eyes widen, I can hear her sharp intake of breath. Eating up the distance between us, I gently reach out and cup her cheeks, and our eyes lock in a moment of vulnerability. “Baby, I want you to know that you’re in control. You never have to do anything you don’t want to. If you say stop, I will always listen. Come inside with me, give me a chance. We can take a warm shower, have a heartfelt conversation, and lie together in bed. And if that’s all you want, I won’t push for more. I’m even willing to sleep on the floor or the couch, just to make sure you feel comfortable and safe in my home.”
Silence hangs heavy, revealing nothing of her thoughts. I want to unravel the secrets behind her gaze. All I want is for her to willingly allow me into her life, even if it’s just a sliver for now. However, the choice must be hers alone.