CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
"I want something serious with you. If you want me, too."
Ian stared at the man in front of him, speechless and overwhelmed, even as somewhere inside him, in the dark corner he didn't like to look at too much, hope reared its head, unsure but curious.
"You were right when you said you make me feel safe.
" Alex waved his hand, and Ian could tell he was getting anxious.
"You do. You've always been a safe haven for me—on the job, sure, but also in those moments that weren't about that.
You still cared. You saw me as a person, not a celebrity, but you also didn't see me as weak.
Hell, there were times when you saw strength in me that I didn't, and I learned how to be braver because of that. "
Holy fuck, Ian was having an out of body experience, because he couldn't… They couldn't…
"I know I can trust you," Alex went on, obviously on a roll now, and Ian wished he could carve every word into his memory to remember it forever.
"That's much rarer than I'd like, and yet, it's so easy with you.
I put the safety of my son in your hands and I didn't even blink, Ian.
There's nothing I wouldn't trust you with, including Boo, and—" His breath hitched and his hand stilled before dropping onto his lap.
"And my heart. Because I love you, I've been in love with you for longer than I'd care to admit. "
Ian inhaled sharply, but Alex didn't even flinch.
He was laying his heart out in front of Ian, and all Ian could do was breathe through it.
"I know I hurt you in the past and I'm sorry for that. I'm not going to do that again."
"You can't know that." The words were out of Ian's mouth before he could stop them, his voice gritty as if it had to fight its way to push through.
"I'll never, ever, disappear on you again.
" Alex leaned closer, his hair falling all around his face.
"If I hurt you, it won't be on purpose, but I'll still do my best to avoid that, because I want you to know you can be safe with me, too.
I can take care of you, if you let me. I want to be your partner in every way.
And I truly believe we can be good at it. "
Ian reached out and brushed his knuckles against Alex's before turning his hand and tangling their fingers together.
"How?" Ian whispered as he watched Alex's gaze drop to their hands and felt the answering squeeze. "How do you know we're not getting swept up in things because we're sequestered away in the same space?" Again, he didn't say, but figured it was clear. "How do you know it's not just proximity and—"
"Did you think about me when we didn't see each other?" Alex cut in and met Ian's gaze again, eyes bright, letting Ian see everything. "Did you ever miss me? Because I did, I thought about you and I missed you. A lot."
"I did, too."
In comparison to Alex's string of confessions, Ian's admission didn't seem like much, and yet his heart was pounding in his chest as if he was about to jump from the tallest of buildings.
Thankfully, these three words were enough for Alex to grin at him, the joy and relief obvious in how the lines of his body relaxed.
"That's how I know it's not just the proximity. And assuming you don't miss all your clients the same way—"
"Definitely not." Ian chuckled, and his next breath came easier. He wasn't so afraid anymore. "You're the only one my partner—and half the company—has ever teased me about."
"Oh?" Alex perked up at that and tugged at Ian's hand. "Really?"
Ian could feel his cheeks getting hotter, but it was too late now. "Yeah. Apparently, I wasn't as subtle as I'd like."
"Well, I definitely wasn't," Alex offered, his smile turning softer. "It's a good thing no reporter ever got a clue that the way I was looking at you was completely, utterly unprofessional."
"The press is clearly less perceptive than my colleagues whose job it is to spot any trouble."
At that, Alex ran his teeth over his lower lip, his gaze turning heavier. "Oh, I'd love to cause trouble with you."
And Ian wanted to laugh, because it was ridiculous, but he was fixated on the sight of Alex's mouth.
"Not in the job description," he murmured, even though all his best defenses were now gone, his carefully-constructed walls destroyed by Alex's conviction and those eyes Ian could never resist for very long.
"Good thing we're not discussing the job, then." Alex's voice dropped lower. "And I've picked up a thing or two about negotiating over the years."
"It's not that I'm not tempted, because I am, clearly." Ian squeezed Alex's hand, relishing the fact that he could. "Still, I find it hard to imagine how it would work in the real world, given how different our lives are. My life's in flux, I'm moving to New York City soon, and I can't—"
"Is this the right time to mention I now live in upstate New York?"
Ian straightened so fast he almost dropped Alex's hand, but Alex tightened his grip as he grinned at him, clearly delighted to catch Ian off guard.
"Do you really?"
"Yeah. I moved last year to be closer to my parents.
My mom was ready to support me with Boo from the get-go, but it wouldn't be fair to drag her away from her life just because I needed her help.
Besides, I'm the one who can do his job from whenever, and being so close to New York City actually makes a lot of things easier than they'd be anywhere else. "
"So if I were there full-time…" Ian drifted off, suddenly overwhelmed. He'd already pretty much decided to take Kalei's offer, but he'd been thinking mostly in terms of professional development. If the new start could also mean trying to build something serious with Alex…
"We wouldn't have to be long-distance," Alex's voice brought him back to the present. "We could do normal dates, even if we'd have to sneak around the paparazzi."
"Well, we do have some experience with that already."
Alex's smile only grew bigger. "We do, don't we?"
"We can always hone our skills," Ian teased, but then grew serious. "I'd love to cook for you, too. Hang out with the two of us, and the three of us as well."
It should be impossible for Alex's eyes to shine so brightly in this light, but Ian didn't have time to wonder about that anymore, because he was getting pressed against the cushions by the warm weight of Alex crawling into his lap.
Inhaling sharply again, Ian hesitated for half a second before settling his hands on the man's hips.
"How are you real?" Alex asked in a whisper as he cupped Ian's face so gently it tugged at Ian's heart. Nobody had touched him so carefully in years. "I was afraid Boo may be a deal-breaker, and you include him so easily."
"He's a great kid, and he's yours. Of course I'm going to include him. Besides, he's rapidly becoming the best part of your whole deal."
Alex grinned. "He really is, isn't he?"
"Since I have known you for longer than he's alive, I do seem to like other things about you as well." Ian could feel his own grin growing. "But he's definitely climbing in the ranks."
When Alex breached the rest of the space between them, they were both smiling too hard for the kiss to be great, but as Ian tilted his head, it soon became much better.
Damn, he'd missed this. He'd only had it for one night, which was completely unfair, but it had also brought them here, right now, so maybe it all happened the way it needed to happen, in the end.
Alex kissed like he was desperate, needing something and determined to find it.
He licked into Ian's mouth hungrily, chasing his taste, and his earlier soft touch grew firm against the sides of Ian's neck.
His long hair broke loose around them, half-shielding them from the world, and Ian reached out to touch it, to tangle his fingers in it as he'd often pictured in the past.
Whatever Alex was searching for, he must have found it, because he slowed the kiss and relaxed in Ian's arms as they caught their breaths, their foreheads pressed together.
"So that's a yes, then?" Alex murmured, lips close to Ian's but not touching. "To dating me?"
Truth be told, there were still reasons it might not be a good idea—reasons that might make it impossible down the road—but Ian wasn't strong enough to deny himself forever.
And most of all, he didn't want to.
"Yes." He pressed a fleeting kiss to Alex's mouth. "That's definitely a yes."
The future had never seemed brighter.