Chapter Seven
“I am impressed and shocked,” Pam said.
Lisa looked over where her friend stood. “With what?”
“I expected you to have completely trashed his place to make him pay for keeping you here, and instead it looks even more clean,” Pam said, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. “I mean, apart from the mess you’re already making.”
She chuckled. “Trust me, I will clean it up.”
“I don’t think Shadow would mind even if you didn’t clean it up. Those cakes smell really good. What flavors have you made so far?”
“Chocolate, carrot, and vanilla.”
“Three cakes?”
“I … I’m going out of my mind right now.” It had been a week since she had moved in with Shadow. She had her own bedroom. Shadow and the whole pack, along with the help of Adele, joined to help her move from her old place into Shadow’s. Adele had fallen in love with his place, and she marveled at the beauty of it.
For the first time, she was in a place where she had beautiful flowers in the garden, which she loved. She had also avoided going anywhere near the gardens. If any of the flowers began to die after she touched them, she’d freak out. She didn’t want to be a harbinger of death or even feel that way. It would freak her out too much.
“Why?”
“I’m used to working six days a week. I have a set routine, and the coffee shop is always busy.”
“So, you’re baking cakes. Shadow is going to be happy and pissed.” Pam sighed. “Anyway, all this aside—the pregnancy and everything—how are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Shadow is alive, so that can only mean you two are getting along?”
“We’re … trying, I think,” she said. They ate breakfast together, and dinner. Shadow would often stop in at lunchtime and make sure she was eating. She glanced at the time, to see she still had an hour before he would arrive, unannounced. At night, they would watch television, but there was a distance between them. Lisa didn’t want to bridge that gap, at least not yet.
Well, that wasn’t the whole truth. Part of her wanted to bridge that gap, and another part was afraid to. She couldn’t change what he had said, but being close to him this past week, these feelings were not going away.
“Can I ask you a question?” Lisa asked.
“Ask away.”
“Do you know many pregnant women with … wolf babies?”
Pam laughed. “We’ve had our share of pregnancies, Lisa. What do you want to know?”
“Are women, like, different?”
Pam’s brows went up. “I’m going to need a little more information than asking if we’re different.”
She blew out a breath. “You know, their emotions, somewhat charged, or different?”
“There goes that word again.” Pam laughed. “Just say it, trust me, it cannot be bad.”
“Okay, are they like … aroused?” Lisa asked. “Do they seem to want sex more often?”
Her cheeks were going to melt right off her face, she was convinced of it. There was no way this could be any more mortifying than it already was. This was so embarrassing.
“Is Shadow making you horny?” Pam asked.
“This is not funny.”
“It kind of is, because yes, that is what happens,” Pam said. “Only, and this is the pretty big deal part, only mates feel that way.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Only mates feel that closeness, that emotional charge of energy, that compulsion to be with someone else. That is what mates think and feel all the time. When they’re pregnant, it’s like on supercharge and no one can turn it off, even though there are a lot of people who would very much like to see that happen.” Pam shrugged.
“What does this mean?”
Pam smiled and tilted her head to the side. “What do you think it means?”
Lisa opened and closed her mouth, almost afraid to even say what she thought it meant.
“Shadow and I are…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, in case it filled her with potential hope.
“Mates,” Pam said.
“That’s not possible.”
“Why not? You love him, don’t you? You love him still. Why can’t you guys be mates? It makes total sense, and you’re also pregnant. Your emotions are going to be heightened, and I don’t know if you cottoned onto this, but he is super protective of you. Like supercharged protective. Look what he did to that guy who tried to dance with you the other week. It makes a lot of sense.”
“But, he doesn’t want to be mated to me.”
Pam wrinkled her nose. “I’ve come to understand that some men can be assholes, especially in regard to their feelings.”
“You think Shadow was being an asshole?”
“For a guy who didn’t care about you and only saw you as weak and an easy fuck, he’s stuck around. He didn’t have to keep coming and visiting the coffee shop, but he did. I don’t know if he has told you this, or if you put two and two together, his house doesn’t contain a single coffee ingredient.”
Lisa laughed. “He has already told me he can’t stand coffee.”
“For a guy who said what he said, don’t you think his actions are starting to get a little louder than his words?”
Before Lisa could say anything, the front door opened, and she already knew it was Shadow before he said a word.
“I know it’s early, but I wanted to check on you,” Shadow said.
“I’m in here,” Lisa said.
“On your feet again, what have I told you about this?”
While Shadow had already started to complain, Pam was mouthing words toward her, but she couldn’t quite make them out. The moment he entered the room, Pam stopped.
“You’re here,” Shadow said.
“Yeah, I am here, and that is my cue to leave. Just a little word to you, though, I would love a piece of carrot cake. Just saying.”
Lisa laughed. “Don’t worry, I will save you a piece.”
“You’re a doll,” Pam said. “Now, duty calls.”
Pam left and Lisa turned toward Shadow.
“What does Pam do?”
“Fuck if I know,” Shadow said. “You’re back on your feet again. I thought we had talked about this.”
“We did. You told me you didn’t want me on my feet all the time. I listened to you, and then decided not to agree, but I didn’t argue. Besides, we’re out of cake, and I like making cake. Also, your pack stops by a lot, and it seems rude not to have cake on hand to offer them. You’re going to have to pick up some coffee.”
“Why?” Shadow asked.
“It’s rude not to have it to offer to our guests.”
“They’re not guests, not to me. They have arrived uninvited, and they do not get a choice about what we have to drink.”
“You’re being rude,” Lisa said.
“I’m the Alpha, and I’m not having coffee. Besides, you cannot drink it and you cannot even be near it without feeling woozy.”
Lisa frowned. She had a conversation with Adele just last night, where she admitted the truth. Working at the coffee shop, although she loved it, was starting to cause her too many troubles. There had been a few times the coffee shop had made her feel sick to her stomach, and she had to keep taking breaks to recover.
“You listened to my conversation!” She put the last of the cakes into the oven. This was a chocolate-and-vanilla-swirl cake.
“It’s not hard to hear your conversations, and you’re welcome.”
“I didn’t say thank you. We’re going to have to start laying down some ground rules, which include you not listening in on my conversations!”
“I can’t do that. The whole wolf-hearing thing.”
“It’s a shame you didn’t hear me walk into that bar, huh?” she asked.
“It would have made my life easier,” Shadow said.
She put her hands on her hips. “How?”
“I wouldn’t have said that shit, because you would have been there.”
Lisa stared at him. “I’m not really sure if that is a good thing or not.”
“It’s a good thing, because it would have stopped me fucking this up. I didn’t want to hurt you, Lisa. Not at all.”
She pursed her lips together. “Look, I just … can we not? I don’t want to talk about it.”
She never wanted to talk about it, because that one conversation messed everything up, and now it confused her even more than before.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she forgave him, but she didn’t think she was ready to do that.
****
The pack freaking loved Lisa. Not that it surprised Shadow. Well, it might have a little. He didn’t know if it was because she carried his child, her sweet smile, or the fact she always had a baked good to offer. Either way, the pack adored her, and they were all so excited for the upcoming baby.
The last full moon had already come and gone, and Shadow stood out on the back porch. A wave of snow had fallen in the last twenty-four hours. His senses were on high alert as he knew more was due. This was no trouble for him, but he also knew it worried Lisa. He didn’t want her stressing out.
His wolf was currently at peace. For the first time since his transition when he was a teenage boy, he hadn’t opted to go running. His wolf hadn’t wanted to leave Lisa. She had told him to go and enjoy the full moon and the pack. He didn’t.
Lisa didn’t know it, but he stayed close to home, not turning. The scent of her and her closeness helped to calm him. There was no point in trying to fight it.
Lisa’s pregnancy had begun to show. There was a slight bump on her stomach. He hadn’t been allowed to touch her yet, or to feel his child. One day, he would. He was allowing Lisa to grow comfortable with him again.
He was doing everything he could to make it up to her. She no longer worked, but he made sure she kept busy by asking the pack to randomly drop in to see her. The pack adored her, so he didn’t have to bribe them. Pam was more than happy to come and see her, as was Adele, who tried to keep her updated with all that was going on in No Wolves Road. As far as he could tell, there was no gossip. The only news was the fact he and Lisa were having a baby.
He made sure she had everything her heart desired. He didn’t want her to go without. But, no matter what he did, it didn’t seem to make up for the shit he said. That night was such a blur. He didn’t even know why he said what he did. None of it made any freaking sense to him.
“Shadow?” Lisa asked.
He spun around and saw her coming toward him. The door to the house was closed as he didn’t want to zap any of the warmth out of the place. It was below freezing right now. With his wolf blood, it felt a little cool, but not overly so.
Stepping inside, he closed and locked the door. “Are you all right?”
“Uh, yeah, I just … I thought I heard a noise and then I was going to come and check it out, and well, I saw you. Is everything okay?” Lisa asked.
He noticed her flushed cheeks. She had not tied the robe she wore, and it was open enough to show off her erect nipples. Shadow felt an answering in his dick.
She was fully dressed, and he knew the body the clothes were hiding. A body he spent many hours learning. He knew what aroused her, what made her tick, and right in that moment, he wanted to touch her again, to feel her against him.
He wanted to sink his dick deep inside her precious cunt and fill her with more of his cum. A part of him wanted to keep her pregnant always. He didn’t want to ever let her go. She belonged to him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?” he asked. “Can’t sleep?”
“I … had a dream. I just need a glass of water.”
“I’ll get it for you.” He slid right past her, being sure to touch her as he did. This was not to drive her crazy but to give him something. The memory of how she felt. The sensation of being close to her. The warmth of her body. Everything about her called to him.
“It’s okay, I can get it.”
“I know, but now you don’t have to.” He was already at the kitchen sink with a glass in hand, filling it with water.
Lisa came to stand beside him.
“What kind of dream did you have?” he asked.
She coughed on her water and then sunk her teeth into her bottom lip. “It was just a dream.”
“But it woke you. I don’t want you to be upset or afraid.”
“It’s not a dream I was afraid of. It was a good dream,” she said.
“Share it.”
Lisa looked at him. “You know what the dream was about.”
Shadow stared at her. The good side of him knew he should leave her alone. Allow her to have her good dream and not ruin it. Another side of him, the one that wanted her, that craved her, didn’t want to wait.
He took over. Stepping toward her, he cupped her cheek and tilted her head back so that her lips were right there on offer. He ran his thumb across her bottom lip, and then he closed the distance between them and took possession of her mouth. Shadow didn’t know if she was going to try to push him away or hold him closer.
He waited, expecting her to push him away as her hands ran up his chest. Shadow intended to extract every sensation and lock it away to savor, but then Lisa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close.
Putting his hands on her back, he slid them down toward her waist. He needed to close this distance between them, so he pulled her in close until their bodies were flush together. Now, he felt that tiny bump against himself, along with her full, ripe tits.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she was right against him, and he couldn’t get enough of her. Sliding his hands down, he cupped her ass and then moved his hands up, cupping her face and kissing her. He felt the rapid beat of her pulse beneath his fingers, the sudden intake of breath as he kissed down her throat. Her tits were so close, and he wanted to taste them. Damn it, he wanted to taste all of her. He didn’t want to stop.
“Please,” Lisa said.
Shadow pulled back just a little, and then stared into her eyes. “Do you want me?” he asked.
“Yes, I want you.”
There was no hesitation. Nothing held either of them back.
He didn’t know if he should pull back and give her space.
Don’t be a fucking asshole.
She is here.
She wants you.
You want her.
This is a gift.
And then, he took possession of her lips, sliding his hands down her back, going toward her thighs, and it was easy for him to lift her up into his arms. She let out a gasp, and he chuckled. He loved it when she made these little noises. He was addicted to the sounds she made.
Carrying her upstairs, he didn’t go toward her bedroom but to where Lisa should have always been—to his bedroom. He kicked the door open and didn’t care if it closed or not.
Easing her onto the bed, he followed her down, kissing her. He pushed the robe off her body and then gripped the edge of her nightshirt, pulling it off over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and finally he got to look at the tits he’d been missing for too long.
Shadow cupped the mounds in his palm, and he groaned. “They’re so pretty.”
She gasped as he slid one single thumb across each nipple. “They’re sensitive.”
He knew it was because of the pregnancy, however, Lisa always had sensitive nipples. Each time he licked and sucked them in the past, she would always be close to arousal. It was one of the many things he adored about her.
“I need to taste them,” he said.
He didn’t wait for an answer and leaned down, sliding his tongue across one mounded peak, then the other. She tasted even better than he remembered. Her tits were also nice and large, filling his whole hand.
Fuck, she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. He wanted her. Hungered for her.
Shadow didn’t even know if this was because of her pregnancy or not. He only knew it was getting harder to deny these feelings that were eating them both up. He had to have her. His cock was already rock-hard and ready for her.
His pants were a little too tight for comfort. This was a gift. Lisa was finally opening herself up to him again, and this time he knew he wasn’t going to do anything to mess it up.