Chapter 29 #2
“Jai!” the crowd cheered, and my heart sank even more.
My head pounded, and I stood immobile. Nandani held my hand and guided me toward them.
And the moment my eyes landed on him entering on his horse, I regained my breath.
I could hear my heartbeat over the loud cheering.
He was bleeding, damped, and dirty; his eyes were drooping, his face was tired.
I gulped, soaking in his presence.
He stopped, dismounting the horse. Patting Ashwait’s forehead, he kissed it and stumbled toward Ranaji.
Ranaji stepped forward with a broad smile.
Kneeling on one leg before him, Kunwar-sa offered a blood-soaked sword with both hands, “Mehrangarh.”
“Kunwar Agastya Dev ki,” Ranaji cheered in an earth-shattering voice that echoed through all the walls of Surygarh.
“Jai!” the crowd responded, and I felt a shiver run through me as Ranaji took the sword from his hands, placed a hand on his shoulder to help him on his feet, and enveloped him in a tight hug.
“I’m so proud of you, Agastya,” Ranaji said, and the crowd cheered again before he pulled back and hugged Prince Ranvijay as well.
“How dare you?” Suddenly, all eyes were on Princess Rashmika as she rushed toward him, yanked his collar, and slapped him hard.
Blood leaked through his lips.
“How could you, Agastya? I trusted you,” She slapped him a few more times, and tears filled my eyes.
He stood silently as she hit his chest with her fists, crying and breaking down, until he grasped her wrists and pulled her into a tight hug.
He placed his hand on her head as she broke into sobs.
My heart broke as I noticed tears in his eyes. They loved each other.
“I hate you; I hate you so much. Why? They’re my family,” she cried louder.
“They’re alive, Rashmika,” he spoke slowly. “I didn’t harm them.”
She pulled back and looked at him.
He cupped her cheek with his wounded hand, saying, “They’re safe.” He kissed her forehead, consoling and calming her.
She cried even more, and Princess Rudraja wept.
Princess Aishwarya stepped forward to him. He bent down and touched her feet. “At least hold her in your arms for once. I’m sure you two share some connection,” she said, and he chuckled as he looked at the princess in her hands.
She began crying even louder, and he nodded.
I chuckled when he rubbed his hand clean on his clothes before carefully holding her in his arms, bringing her closer to his chest.
She cried momentarily, and when he kissed her head, she stopped.
I swallowed hard, standing completely immobile.
Nandani stepped forward, and he smiled at her before bending down to touch her feet, too.
She encircled her hands on either side of his head before pressing them to the sides of her forehead, shielding him from evil eyes.
“Ishwar kare jeewan ke har yuddh mein aapki vijay ho, Devar-sa,” “May you win every battle in your life, Devar-sa.” she said, and I broke into quiet sobs, watching him nod and move forward.
And his eyes met mine.
When our eyes met, my heartbeat slowed. My body froze, and my lashes stilled as he stared deeply into my eyes. For a moment, everything disappeared except his tired, hazy, dark green orbs. But my heart sank into a darker pit as his smile faltered, and he looked away.
Painful waves coursed through my heart as if I had smashed into a mountain.
He silently walked away, his feet trembling. I lost myself in him, and an ache built in my knees, freezing me to the ground and swallowing me whole.
Everyone followed him, and I couldn’t stop either.
Everyone was busy celebrating his arrival, but I returned to the kitchen, thinking he must’ve been hungry.
My mind had stopped functioning.
What if something had happened to him? What if he didn’t come back?
I shook my head, trying to dispel the dark thoughts, and prepared his lunch.
He was just tired. We'd talk alone, and I knew him well. He wasn’t angry, just worn out.
I nodded, grabbed the plate for his lunch, and hurried toward his chamber. A proud smile crept onto my face.
He had won a kingdom and a war, burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. My heart raced as I took the last turn toward his chamber.
But suddenly, the soldiers at the entrance crossed their spears before me, and I frowned in confusion.
“Humein bheetar jaane dijiye; Kunwar-sa ke liye bhojan laaye hain,” “Let me go inside; I have brought lunch for Kunwar-sa.” I exclaimed.
“No, Kunwar-sa has instructed us not to let anyone inside.”
“Aap unse jaakar kahiye to sahi ki hum aaye hain bhojan lekar, wo thake hue honge,” “Please let him know I brought lunch; he must be tired.” My voice broke, fingers weakened around the heavy platter.
“He gave us strict orders not to let anyone inside.” They stood rigid on their ground.
“At least tell him once; he will let me in.” I insisted again with my dry throat.
They exchanged glances before one of them walked inside.
I felt uneasy about them having to ask. I shifted on my feet, and the strange weight on my knees unnerved me.
When the soldier returned, I gulped, my heart exploding inside.
“He asked to leave the lunch with us,” he informed, breaking the last shells of my courage.
I stood stunned and hesitated to ask again, but they denied it and took the plate from my hands.
What happened to him? Why didn’t he want to see me?
I knew it was all my fault. He was angry with me.
I returned to my work area.
Maybe he just needed some rest. I thought of making his favourite food for dinner.
I spent the whole evening making his favourite dishes. After cooking, I plated the food and went back to his chamber.
It had turned dark.
The soldiers stopped me again, and I begged them to tell him I had arrived, that Suman had come. One of them did, but Kunwar-sa still didn’t allow me inside; instead, he returned the food from earlier.
My heart shattered. Tears filled my eyes, and I couldn’t help but try to drift off to sleep after returning to my room.
I didn’t know what was wrong with him. Was it so hard for him to at least listen to me? I just wanted to express my fear, anger, and confusion about what was happening. I never intended to hurt him like that.
I couldn’t sleep as the vision of him crying, knocking, trying to speak, and returning away from my door kept revolving in my head.
I took a deep breath and woke up early the next day. I was going to make him talk to me. I wouldn’t stay idle; he had to listen to me. I prepared his favourite breakfast and entered his chamber before anyone else woke up.
The soldiers stopped me again.
“Please, let me go inside for once. I won’t cause any trouble. I won’t tell him you let me in. You know I’ve been here before. He’s upset with me. Please, help me, my brother. I promise he won’t harm you, please,” I begged, holding my hands together, and one of them nodded.
“Okay, but just make sure he doesn’t fire us,” he said, and I nodded, smiling.
“Yes, yes, I promise he won’t; I swear,”
I carried the breakfast plate inside.
The soft glow of the early morning sky streamed through the windows, enveloping the room in silence and dim light. Curtains hid the bed, and I bit my lip as I moved toward the table to set down the breakfast plate.
I was too scared to call him.
“Kunwar-sa,”
My heartbeats were sinking low.
He didn’t reply, encouraging me to stroll toward the bed and part the curtains.
It was empty.
Suddenly, I noticed footsteps approaching from the bathroom. I turned to look in his direction, and my heartbeat stopped.
His green eyes met mine, bringing tears as I noticed his trimmed hair. The soft, long curls I used to move my fingers through were gone.
I gulped, fighting the lump in my throat, and my sight fell on bandages wrapped around his forehead, arms, and the side of his stomach.
Watching him stumble because of wounds in his leg, I couldn’t stop myself from walking toward him, offering my help. But with his blank stare, I froze.
“Let me help,” I stuttered, reaching for his shoulders.
He pulled his hand away from me, escaping my touch.
My heart twitched. I tried again, but he didn’t let me.
He limped toward the couch.
“I brought you breakfast, Kunwar-sa,” I said, my voice shaky. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. “I want to talk to you, too,” I added, and he sucked his lip and opened his eyes to look at me.
“Yes?” he asked, formally. The pain was visible in his voice. It did something to my stomach, prompting me to step closer.
“Kunwar-sa, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was happening to me—”
“It’s okay,” he cut me off, looking down.
I tried again, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I mean, I should—”
“I said it’s okay,” he said, looking at me.
I knelt before him, reaching for his hands. “Kunwar-sa,” but he pulled his hand back. It tightened my chest.
His gaze suddenly sharpened on me. “We cannot do this. It’s over; go back to your room,” he said coldly, standing up.
My heart pierced, my voice cracking apart. “I didn’t know what happened after seeing Princess Rashmika with—”
“It's okay,” he cut me off, “I understand. And I’m not the one you want.”
“I want you,” I stated, and he turned to look at me.
“I don’t want you,” he replied.
My heart sank deeper. It broke me.
“But why?” I asked. “I know I made a mistake. I apologise, Kunwar-sa,”
“Honestly, I don’t want to hurt you or myself, knowingly or unknowingly. Just forget about me and everything I said. Go back to your old life and act as if nothing ever happened between us,” he clarified.
I broke down in tears, moving closer to him.
“I know I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I should have listened to you and not behaved like that. But I was scared and—”
“Listen,” he cut me off and looked sharply into my eyes.
“I am not angry, but I cannot do this now. It’s not about you anymore.
It is about me. I have nothing left in me to give you.
I cannot give you anything. So, go back to your room and stop doing anything for me.
I don’t want to make it hard for you.” His words pierced my chest.