Chapter 29 #6
“Is Kunwar Agastya’s chamber ready and clean?” I heard Nandani ask another attendant, raising her voice slightly. “What are you doing? Do it quickly,” she urged, and I just smiled, focusing on the laddoos.
All I wanted was for him to look at me with love-filled eyes for once. My shringaar43 would be done, my responsibilities fulfilled, and love would bloom.
I didn’t realise that Nandani had left with all the attendants to welcome an important guest arriving at the palace.
Suddenly distracted by the princess’s cries, I looked around to see that no caretaker was present.
Where did everyone go?
I stood up and quickly washed my hands before entering Nandani’s bedroom.
Only selected people could touch her. The attendants could care for her and inform Nandani, but they could not get too close for security reasons.
“Aww, my baby,” I pampered, lifting the princess into my arms. I patted her back as she cried even more.
“What happened to my sweet little pumpkin? Maa-sa? Do you need your Maa-sa?” I brought her out of the bedroom, but all she could do was cry.
“Aww, baby, calm down; she will be back. Do you want to eat something sweet?” I asked, trying to divert her attention.
She made faces, and I wiped away her fake tears. “Aww, did you have a bad dream? Don’t worry, your Baapu-sa will take care of all the demons,” I murmured sweetly, but she turned her gaze toward the laddoos.
“Taatttooo,” she cried out, leaning toward them.
I sighed and put her down, watching as she reached for the laddoo plate with her little hands.
I smiled, sitting beside her. “Oh, you want to make sweets for your birthday yourself?” I asked, returning to making the laddoos, listening to her babble.
She cooed, tasting the laddoos, messing her fingers.
“How does it taste, Princess?” I asked with a smile.
She looked at me wide-eyed and smiled as she savoured the sweet.
Like uncle, like niece—always hungry for sweets.
A crimson blush crept onto my cheeks, recalling some of our sweet encounters.
Suddenly, the princess crawled up, placing her hands on my thighs to lift herself.
“What happened, baby?” I asked, feeling her place her hands on my shoulder and back. As my dupatta slipped down, I chuckled.
“What are you doing, my princess?” I asked, feeling her tiny hands on my back as she took help to walk.
She fell to her bum and wailed.
I laughed lightly as I watched her antics, never understanding what it meant.
I focused on making laddoos while I felt her tiny hands on my back, trying to lift her to her feet again. Her fingers hooked on my blouse, and suddenly, she tugged on the string of my blouse and pulled it open.
“Princess,” I exclaimed, and the blouse loosened even more when I tried to turn around.
I looked at her, and she smiled, showing her small teeth, and did so again.
Then she turned her head away and laughed, slapping her hands on the floor, and I heard a slight chuckle.
I froze.
My heartbeat stopped as I lifted my gaze and looked at him, sitting two meters away, smiling at the princess. His hair had grown longer, and he looked even more muscular.
I gulped, taking in his black attire.
Is this a dream?
As he lifted his gaze to me, a thousand butterflies erupted in my stomach. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as I stared into his green orbs shining bright in the sunlight.
He cradled the princess in his arms, and I shivered when I heard Ranaji’s voice.
“Agastya, you are back?”
I immediately pulled my dupatta and ran from there.
The princess’s voice faded in the distance as she giggled at something.
I hid in the corner and held a passing attendant’s hand to ask her to tie my blouse’s strings.
Did he ask Princess to do that?
What?
How?
And why?
And, just by looking into his green eyes for once, I felt a flower blossom in me even after a year.
Calm and at peace, my heart suddenly jerked alive and began beating fast for him.
I didn’t know what kind of power he held over me. It all began with needing him for comfort and protection, which then grew into a blind desire for him.
This started hurting me, and when he left, I thought maybe I would get over him or at least make peace with him.
Here we were again.
But I didn’t want to talk to him. Not after whatever I had done to him. I still didn’t know if I was good for him now. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
I gulped and silently walked to the kitchen to check on the preparations.
Nandani sent attendants to call me for the Hawan and donation ceremony, but I kept telling them I would join in a bit, as I was busy with something urgent.
And then, suddenly, she came by herself.
“Suman, what the hell are you doing?”
I lifted my gaze from the dough I was kneading and looked in her direction. She looked beautiful in her orange attire, and I gave an embarrassed smile.
“The cooks are busy, and I need more help here,” I gulped. I didn’t know why I was trying to hide.
“Shut up,” she hissed, clasping my wrist, and led me out of the kitchen. She asked me to wash my hands once we reached her chamber.
Everyone was outside, and I didn’t understand why she had brought me here.
“Change,” she stated, widening her eyes, but I shook my head slightly.
“Nandani, seriously, I’m not feeling up to it. There’s so much work, and I’m menstruating too,” I tried to lie, but she stopped to look into my eyes.
“Oh, I didn’t know,” she muttered. “Um… take a rest then. Don’t work,” she said, and I immediately regretted saying it.
“No, no, I’m perfectly fine. It’s the Princess’s birthday. I want to be part of it. Plus, the palace is flooded with guests, you know,” I inhaled deeply, and she gulped.
She smiled and cupped my cheeks to make me look at her.
“You’re trying to escape him,” she said in simpler words.
I tried to shake my head but eventually closed my eyes, agreeing.
In direct terms, I was doing precisely that.
“But why? It’s not like he will eat you,” she said, and I opened my eyes to look at her. “Trust me; he’s busy with Rudraja, Rudra, Prince Ranvijay, Nandan, and the guests. He hasn’t even had time to talk to me properly. They’re discussing politics. So, calm down,” she said, gently patting my hands.
I tried to nod. “Alright,”
“Now, get ready. What will I tell Rudraja once she gets older? What were her Maasi-maa AKA Kaaki-sa doing on her first birthday, hiding from her Kaako-sa?” she said, and I couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.
“Please, Nandani,” I whined, holding her hands. “You know I’m not family and never will be. Please don’t make me see dreams I’m trying to forget. I messed up, and he doesn’t want me anymore.” I explained, pleadingly, and she stepped closer.
“Tumhe bada pata hai unhein kya chaahiye or kya nahi. Pichle ek varsh mein aath rishte thukra chuke hain wo. Jab se Mehrangarh ka yuddh jeeta hai tabse aath rishte, samajhti ho kitne hote hain. Sabke liye mana kar diya hai unhone,” “Oh, shush you. What would you even know? He has rejected eight marriage alliances in the last year. Ever since he won the war of Mehrangarh, he has rejected eight girls. Do you understand how many of those are? He refused them all.” she said, and I bit my lip, lowering my fluttering gaze.
“But I might hurt him more, or what if he doesn’t want me anymore?” I asked, but she inhaled deeply and made me look at her.
“Rudra bhi yahi soch lete na ki, kya pata Nandani ko me chaahiye bhi ya nahi aur humein peeda denge to aaj wo Ranaji bhi nahi hote, humaare pati bhi nahi hote, aur Rudraja ka bhi janm nahi hua hota,” “If Rudra had also thought like you that maybe Nandani doesn’t want me, or he might hurt me more, then perhaps he wouldn’t be the king, nor would he be my husband, and Rudraja wouldn’t have been born either. ” she explained with an example.
I lowered my gaze, feeling a mix of emotions.
She placed her hand on my chin and made me look at her. “Do you know what you want now? Do you have that clarity with you, Suman?” she asked.
I blinked at her face for a few moments and nodded slowly.
“What is it?” she asked, and I bit the inside of my cheek.
“Him…” I whispered. “I want him, and I think more than wanting, I need him, Nandani. He is the one who can handle me and hold me together. I mean, imagine he made me insane for him. What kind of power does he hold over me?” My voice came out slowly, and she smiled at me.
“Do you love him?” She asked, and I nodded immediately.
“I do, and now I know why it happened. It’s because I love him,” I drawled.
She kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek.
“Then it’s worth fighting for, Suman. All he wants for you is to be happy and healthy. Prove to him you are happy and healthy with him, not without him,” she suggested.
My voice was hoarse, and a lump formed in my throat as I asked, “How can I prove that to him, Nandani?”
She smiled weakly. “When you’ve figured it out this much, you’ll know that, too,” she answered.
“Bhabhi-sa!”
Hearing his voice from outside the chamber made butterflies flutter in my stomach.
I lowered my gaze and adjusted my dupatta as Nandani replied. “You can come in, Devar-sa.”
I shook my head at her, and she just smiled at me.
I turned around, hiding my face, and acted as if I were fixing the misplaced items when I heard him say, “It seems like Papaya needs her meal. She is crying and seems annoyed.”
I heard the princess’s cries.
Nandani’s anklet chimed as she walked toward him, closer to the door.
I didn’t dare turn to him, knowing that if I had looked at him one more time, I would have broken down and cried.
My heart sank deeper, and I glanced at my fingers, trembling.
I couldn’t believe how quickly and easily I fell for him. The closeness to him was overwhelming, as was the distance between them.
“Oh, my sweet baby, what made you cry?”
In her baby talk, the princess responded to Nandani.
I gulped and lowered my gaze when, suddenly, Nandani said, “Suman, can you bring some warm water?”
I knew she did it on purpose. He wouldn’t have noticed me there, but he knew I was present when she called my name.
I turned slowly, trying not to look at him, focusing solely on Nandani, as I nodded.
I immediately tried to hurry out of the room, but not so fast that it would reveal my anxiety to everyone.
As I hastened through the corridor, fidgeting with the end of my dupatta, I felt my hand being gripped firmly.
My eyes widened in shock. I was shivering. My palms and feet had felt cold. My heart raced wildly as I slowly turned around.
Tears welled in my eyes. Warmth rushed to my cheeks as I locked eyes with him.
Memories of his warm, comforting voice, and everything I longed for blurred my mind.
Taking a step closer, he encircled my waist and slowly pulled me into his arms.
My chest visibly rose and fell with each breath, and my hand coiled around his neck to support my weight.
Suddenly, the world faded away with his presence, and I felt his arm on my back, gently drawing me closer to his chest.
My lashes fluttered nervously as his scent filled me in, giving rebirth to every dead portion of me. My fingers tangled in his hair, fisting and pulling him even closer while my eyelashes fell shut, unable to hold back the tears building in my eyes.
I broke down in tears.
“I hate you so much,” my voice came out hoarse and trembling as he pressed his cheek against mine and his lips against my neck.
“I hate you too, so fucking much,” his slow, tearful voice made me cry even harder, and I felt him leading me to his chamber.
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